The Fragility of Life

The Fragility of Life

Estimated reading time: 1 minute, 18 seconds
Our Rabbi Dr. Renee Edelman

Photo Courtesy of Kevin Papa

Life is as fragile as a lake coated with a thin ice sheet. We can vanish beneath the ice in a nanosecond.

I had learned the delicate nature of life before meeting Jan, having survived a fire and an attack by a German Shepard.

Jan’s diagnosis and eventual death from Lymphoma was a harsh reminder of the tenuous nature of our lives.

As Atul Gwande wrote in Being Mortal, far too many believe that we are immune to the “inescapable realities of aging and death.”

With each moment of truth about the fragility of our lives, I could have chosen to live only for myself.

But as Desmond Tutu wrote in The Book of Joy: Lasting Happiness in a Changing World.

We are fragile creatures, and it is from this weakness, not despite it, that we discover the possibility of true joy.

When I met Jan, I found true joy, and now that she is gone, I choose a life with meaning and purpose.

One day, I hope to join Jan and have my name written into the Book of Well-Lived Lives.


The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

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Being Mortal

Being Mortal

Before departing for Toronto to celebrate our 44th Wedding Anniversary, I went through the e-library. Everything on my list that I wanted to read was not available except for this book. Being Mortal by Atul Gawande is the book that I read on our vacation before my Jan's diagnosis of non-Hodgkins Large B cell Lymphoma.

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Rabbi Dr. Renee Edelman on Sukkot

Estimated reading time: 1 minute, 18 seconds

As Rabbi Dr. Renee Edelman explained,

“Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur are about life and death and how we prepare for both. On Sukkot, we notice how fragile our existence is; right after the end of Sukkot, we dance with our Torot.”

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Being Mortal

Read: August 2019

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Being Mortal

by Atul Gawande

Before departing for Toronto to celebrate our 44th Wedding Anniversary, I went through the e-library. Everything on my list that I wanted to read was not available except for this book. Being Mortal by Atul Gawande is the book I read on our vacation before Jan’s diagnosis of non-Hodgkin Large B-cell Lymphoma.

Selecting Being Mortal might seem an accidental choice to some, and I believe it was a divine intervention. It prepared me to be a caregiver to my wife over the nineteen months of her fight with cancer. It helped me focus on the good life that my wife lived and not the pain and suffering.

Atul Gawande describes his book as “riveting, honest, and humane. Being Mortal shows that the ultimate goal is not a good death but a good life – to the very end.”

When I read the book, I wondered what I could have done to help my mother in her final years. The book offers an excellent overview of how nursing homes and assisted living facilities have struggled to meet the needs of their residents.

Dr. Gawande provides an in-depth overview of the benefits of hospice care. Although I knew of this option, reading this book helped me understand that I was ready for hospice when my wife came home for the last time.

He reminds us that “when it comes to the inescapable realities of aging and death, what medicine can do often runs counter to what it should.” As he writes in the book, the current system does not work and, in many cases, actually shortens life.

This book has had a lasting impact on my life. It allowed me to be a loving caregiver to my wife when she needed it more than anything else. I read it when it would be most beneficial to me.

I highly recommend this book.


Atul Gawande is the author of several bestselling books: Complications, a finalist for the National Book Award; Better; The Checklist Manifesto; and Being Mortal. He is also a surgeon at Brigham and Women’s Hospital in Boston, a staff writer for The New Yorker, and a professor at Harvard Medical School and the Harvard School of Public Health. He has won the Lewis Thomas Prize for Writing about Science, a MacArthur Fellowship, and two National Magazine Awards. In his work in public health, he is the Founder and Chair of Ariadne Labs, a joint center for health systems innovation, and Lifebox, a nonprofit organization dedicated to making surgery safer globally. He is also the chair of Haven, where he served as CEO from 2018 to 2020. He and his wife have three children and live in Newton, Massachusetts.



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The Fragility of Life
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Where Reasons End

Read: June 2025

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Where Reasons End

by Yiyun Li

Yiyun Li, grappling with life’s deepest sorrows, invites readers into a poignant conversation between a mother and child in a timeless world.  Where Reasons End, composed in the aftermath of the loss of her son, ventures into the liminal space between life and death. Here, mother and child engage in conversations untethered from past images and narratives, a profoundly moving portrayal of the love and complexity of their relationship.

The narrator of Where Reasons End shares a profound insight, saying, “I clung to one delusion with all my might: We once gave Nikolai a life of flesh and blood; and I’m recreating it, this time through words.” This emotional journey of recreating a life through words is a central theme that resonates throughout the novel.

With a unique blend of originality, precision, and poise, Where Reasons End immerses readers in a world of intimacy, inescapable pain, and fierce love. The novel’s emotional impact is profound, leaving a lasting impression on those who delve into its pages.


Yiyun Li, a prolific author, has penned six works of fiction—Must I Go, Where Reasons End, Kinder Than Solitude, A Thousand Years of Good Prayers, The Vagrants, and Gold Boy, Emerald Girl—and the memoir Dear Friend, from My Life I Write to You in Your Life.

Her literary prowess has been recognized with numerous awards, including a PEN/Hemingway Award, a PEN/Jean Stein Book Award, a MacArthur Foundation fellowship, and a Windham-Campbell Prize.

She was also featured in The New Yorker’s 20 Under 40 fiction issue. Her work, which has been published in The New Yorker, A Public Space, The Best American Short Stories, and The O. Henry Prize Stories, among other publications, is a testament to her literary excellence.

Currently, she imparts her knowledge at Princeton University and resides in Princeton, New Jersey.



When you purchase a book through one of my links, I earn a small commission that helps support my passion for reading. This contribution allows me to buy even more books to share with you, creating an incredible cycle of discovering great reads together! Your support truly makes a difference!

Enjoy a limited-time offer of 20% off your next book purchase at Bookshop.org!


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Chain Gang All Stars

Read: December 2023

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Chain Gang All Stars

by Nana Kwame Adjei-Brenyah

Today, I started reading “Chain Gang All Stars” by Nana Kwame Adjei-Brenyah. The story revolves around Loretta Thurwar and Hamara “Hurricane Staxxx” Stacker, the main characters of the Chain-Gang All-Stars, a highly controversial and top-rated program in America’s private prison industry. The program is called Criminal Action Penal Entertainment (CAPE), where prisoners compete for the ultimate prize- their freedom. It’s similar to the return of the gladiators but in a modern-day setting.

The story is set in a prison called CAPE, where inmates are forced to participate in death matches as a part of a chain-gang. These matches are held in front of cheering crowds, while the prison authorities claim it to be a righteous act. Among the participants, Thurwar and Staxxx are the most popular as they are also lovers. Thurwar is just a few matches away from her freedom, which she carries with a heavy heart and lethal hammer. Thurwar contemplates how she can help her fellow inmates preserve their humanity despite being forced into these brutal games. However, the owners of CAPE are determined to safeguard their status quo, and they will go to extreme lengths to stop anyone who challenges them. Thurwar’s attempts to resist the system have devastating consequences.

Chain-Gang All-Stars” is a powerful book that sheds light on the American prison system’s problematic alliance with systemic racism, unchecked capitalism, and mass incarceration. It critically examines the situation from various perspectives, from the Links in the field to the protestors, the CAPE employees, and beyond. The book offers a clear-eyed reckoning of what freedom really means in America. It is a noteworthy contribution from a “new and necessary American voice,” as described by Tommy Orange in The New York Times Book Review.


The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Regarding gifts made this month, I will match dollar for dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

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I receive a commission when you buy a book or product using a link on this page. Thank you for supporting Sharing Jan’s Love blog.



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Hurricane Season

Read: September 2024

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Hurricane Season

by Fernanda Melchor

Hurricane Season‘ by Fernanda Melchor, translated by Sophie Hughes, is a literary gem acknowledged by the New York Times as one of the 100 Best Books of the 21st Century. The story opens with the discovery of a dead witch in a village, leading to an investigation into her murder. As the novel unfolds, it offers a unique perspective on the lives of the villagers, each narrating the story from their point of view.

This unique portrayal of the characters, each with flaws and virtues, uncovers new details and acts of depravity. Despite the characters being seen as irredeemable, Melchor extracts some shred of humanity from them, creating a lasting portrait of a doomed Mexican village. This deep connection to Mexican culture is a significant aspect of the novel that will surely resonate with readers interested in this topic.

Hurricane Season” draws significant literary inspiration from Roberto Bolaño‘s “2666” and Faulkner‘s novels. Like these works, it is set in a world filled with mythology and actual violence that seeps into the surroundings, creating a connection that makes it more terrifying the deeper you explore it.

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Commitment: A novel

Read: April 2023

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Commitment: A Novel

by Mona Simpson

The novel Commitment by Mona Simpson delves into the complexities of family and duty when a parent falls ill. It sheds light on the significant impact of untreated mental health crises and highlights the under-appreciated role of friends in shaping the lives of children left to their own devices.

A hardworking single mother, Diane Aziz falls into a deep depression after dropping off her oldest son, Walter, at college. Despite her struggles, her closest friend is vital in keeping the family together and their mother’s dreams alive.

This is a story of one family’s struggle to navigate the crisis of their lives, a struggle that may resonate with many readers. Walter discovers a newfound passion for architecture, but financial struggles threaten his academic pursuits. Meanwhile, Lina fights to attend an Ivy League school, and Donny, the youngest sibling, battles a dangerous drug addiction.

As someone with different personal experiences, I still found Commitment to affirm the importance of biological and chosen families.


The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

Subscribe

Contact Us

I receive a commission when you buy a book or product using a link on this page. Thank you for supporting Sharing Jan’s Love blog.



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Bonding

Read: July 2025

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Bonding: A Novel

by Mariel Franklin

Mariel Franklin‘s debut novel, “Bonding,” is electrifying, sharp, and darkly humorous. It delves into the intersections of sex, technology, and pharmaceuticals in our digitally-driven world. The protagonist, Mary, is weary from a constant cycle of casual relationships and unstable jobs. After facing yet another career setback, she decides to escape to Ibiza.

There, at a party, she meets Tom, a brilliant chemist on the verge of launching a drug made to cure the anxieties of modern life.

Back in London after a heady trip, Mary runs into her volatile and driven sort-of-ex Lara, who has channeled her ambitions into an innovative dating app designed to revolutionize the industry.

When Mary begins working for Lara and falling for Tom, tech and pharma collide with shocking consequences, forcing her to question what love and success mean in a world that is hurtling out of control. A searing, elegiac satire of the way we live and work, Mariel Franklin‘s perceptive and unnerving Bonding heralds the arrival of a blazing new talent.


Mariel Franklin lives and works in London. She has an MA in English from Edinburgh University and later went on to study fine art at Goldsmiths. After graduating, she spent several years working in data administration in the tech industry. Bonding is her first novel.



When you purchase a book through one of my links, I earn a small commission that helps support my passion for reading. This contribution allows me to buy even more books to share with you, creating an incredible cycle of discovering great reads together! Your support truly makes a difference!

Enjoy a limited-time offer of 20% off your next book purchase at Bookshop.org!


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The South

Read: August 2025

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The South: A Novel

by Tash Aw

Tash Aw‘s novel, The South, longlisted for the 2025 Booker Prize, is both expansive and concise, capturing the dynamics of a family navigating change and desire. It explores the intersection of public and private lives with remarkable grace and beauty. This intimate and radiant story follows the deepening relationship between two boys throughout a summer, delving into themes of family, desire, and the legacies we inherit.

When his grandfather passes away, Jay travels south with his family to the property they have inherited—a once-thriving farm that has now fallen into disrepair. The trees are diseased, and the fields have been dry due to months of drought.

Jay’s father, Jack, sends him out to work the land, or what remains of it. During these hot, oppressive days, Jay finds himself increasingly drawn to Chuan, the son of the farm’s manager. The boys are different in almost every way, except for one crucial connection.

As they work in the fields and venture into town, the tension between the boys intensifies. Meanwhile, within the house, the other family members begin to confront their secrets and regrets. Jack, a professor at a struggling local college, reflects on his failures, many of which may have started when he married his student, Sui Ching. Sui Ching strives to keep the family together, though she, too, contemplates what her life could have been. Fong, the farm manager, chooses to ignore the reality of the situation—about Chuan, the deteriorating land, and the global forces that threaten to render their entire way of life obsolete.


Tash Aw is the author of four novels, including We, the Survivors, as well as a memoir about a Chinese-Malaysian family titled Strangers on a Pier. These remarkable works earned their place as finalists for the Los Angeles Times Book Prize, showcasing the incredible talent behind them!

The author has also been honored with several esteemed awards, including the Whitbread, Commonwealth, and O. Henry Awards. Plus, being longlisted for the MAN Booker Prize twice speaks volumes about his skill. It’s exciting to see his fiction translated into 23 languages, sharing his stories with the world!



When you purchase a book through one of my links, I earn a small commission that helps support my passion for reading. This contribution allows me to buy even more books to share with you, creating an incredible cycle of discovering great reads together! Your support truly makes a difference!

Enjoy a limited-time offer of 20% off your next book purchase at Bookshop.org!


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