Friends for Life

Love Guides Me Into the Future

Whatever Path I Take, I Will Share My Love

Estimated reading time: 1 minute, 45 seconds
Friends for Life

Camp Widow 2022

After last weekend’s heavy rain, the wetlands by the frog pond were now dry enough for me to take the path. The water was like a reflective sheet of glass, with some sections opaque and others as clear as a babbling brook. As I walked, my mind wandered freely, and the sound of the frogs croaking guided me through the wilderness. I could see a future without limitations rather than obstacles in my way.

My Apple Watch notified me that I had closed my moving ring, but my body reminded me that I needed to hurry to the restroom. Despite this, I paused as I approached the slabs that allowed me to tiptoe over the waterway. The pond reflected life’s choices more clearly than any self-help guidebook.

The ink-dark portions of the pond were impenetrable and reflected nothing of my world. I feared that if I stepped into that portion, I would disappear. However, the transparent part of the pond reminded me that the water was so shallow it would only reach my mid-calf. Despite being wet, I could walk forward unimpeded and knew I could not drown.

The sound of the frogs wakes me from my rest. The sun’s warmth invites me to venture forth, and I stroll past the pond to the path around the sports field. As a widow, the darkest fears of my life recede as I proceed toward the park’s comfort facilities. I will always confidently move forward, trusting in love to guide me. I aim to share my passion, embrace life’s challenges and joys, and live fully.


The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

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Life is Too Short!

I sometimes yearn for more from life than I have, but I also acknowledge that I have more than others. During my last conversation with my wife, she said she did not want me to be alone. "You are a good man and an excellent husband," she said. "You will be happier with someone than alone." Although I resisted, she was persistent. Now that I am alone, will I be content if I never find someone to love? Yes, but I know that Jan was right, and while I can live alone, I will always be less than entirely happy.

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Frog Pond

Whatever Path I Take, I Will Share My Love

Estimated reading time: 1 minute, 45 seconds

Walking By Frog Pond

Walking by the bakery the next day, I greeted the staff with a friendly wave. Suddenly, someone called, "Hey, Mr. Have a Nice Day! Do you remember me from Nomehagan Park yesterday when I fell?" It was one of the bakers who delivered baked goods to Track 5 every morning. I realized that she was also the person who had slipped in the park's wetlands.

When I asked her how she was doing after the fall, she replied, "I'm fine, just a scrape. Thank you for asking. It seems like most people don't care about their neighbors, but you're different and genuinely concerned."

This conversation reminded me of the importance of caring for others. While many praised me for handling my grief on Memorial Day, this woman validated my humanity and made me reflect on the significance of empathy.

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Evergreen

Read: October 2022

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Evergreen by Kirsten Robinson

by Kirsten Robinson

Evergreen by Kirsten Robinson is a tribute to the enduring resilience of human nature as we cycle through times of light and darkness, much like nature itself. In her debut book, Kirsten Robinson (@NakedWriting) lays her heart bare in a raw, relatable, and inspirational way to describe the journey of growth born out of finding beauty in breakage and love after loss.

Albeit a cliche, the book jumped off the shelf and into my hands when I saw it in Hickory & Hill General Store in Cranford.

This artfully honest collection embodies and expands upon the poetry and prose Robinson began writing under the famous social media pseudonym Naked Writing.

I highly recommend this book and intend to keep it at my bedside for a pick-me-up.

Although I have only started reading the poems, I want to share two that resonated with me.

The first one is on giving thanks.

Give thanks for all
that is good and beautiful;
the gifts you carry
people who lift you up
your big, big love
faith and trust that your life
is unfolding as it should

Give thanks for all
that has been difficult and hard;
trials tribulations tears
tests of self strength fears
all of the unknowns and days
that broke you

Without the darkness
you would not have
learned to appreciate the light

A second one on bravery.

Bravery
is not about standing tall
after you’ve climbed up
the top of a mountain

Bravery
is looking
fear
heartache
rejection
terror
loss
death
in the eye
and saying, “no,
not today”

Bravery
is standing back up
after you’ve been brought down
to your knees


The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

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I receive a commission when you buy a book or product using a link on this page. Thank you for supporting Sharing Jan’s Love.

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How to Commit a Postcolonial Murder

Read: January 2026

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How to Commit a Postcolonial Murder

by Nina McConigley

How to Commit a Postcolonial Murder” by Nina McConigley is a bold, inventive, and fiercely original debut novel. The story begins with the death of an uncle and features his tween niece’s private confession to the reader—she and her sister are responsible for his death, and they blame the British. The New York Times has listed it as one of “The Novels Everyone Will Be Talking About in 2026.”

Summer, 1986. The Creel sisters, Georgie Ayyar, and Agatha Krishna, welcome their aunt, uncle, and young cousin—newly arrived from India—into their house in rural Wyoming, where they’ll all live together. Because this is what families do, that is, until the sisters decide that it’s time for their uncle to die.

According to Georgie, the British are to blame. And to understand why, you need to hear her story. She details the violence hiding in their house and history, her once-unshakeable bond with Agatha Krishna, and her understanding of herself as an Indian-American in the heart of the West. Her account is, at every turn, cheeky, unflinching, and infectiously inflected with the trappings of teendom, including the magazine quizzes that help her make sense of her life. At its heart, the tale she weaves is:

a)    a vivid portrait of an extended family
b)    a moving story of sisterhood
c)    a playful ode to the 80s
d)    a murder mystery (of sorts)
e)    an unexpected and unwaveringly powerful meditation on history and language, trauma and healing, and the meaning of independence

Or maybe it’s really:

f)      all of the above.


Nina McConigley is the author of the story collection Cowboys and East Indians, which won the PEN Open Book Award and the High Plains Book Award. She has received grants and fellowships from the National Endowment for the Arts (NEA), the Radcliffe Institute, the Bread Loaf Writers’ Conference, the Vermont Studio Center, and the Sewanee Writers’ Conference.

McConigley was awarded the Wyoming Arts Council’s Frank Nelson Doubleday Memorial Writing Award and was a finalist for a National Magazine Award for her columns in High Country News. Her work has appeared in several prominent publications, including The New York Times, Orion, O: The Oprah Magazine, and The Virginia Quarterly Review.

Born in Singapore and raised in Wyoming, she currently resides in Colorado.



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Revolutionary Mothers

Read: February 2019

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Revolutionary Mothers

by Carol Berkin

Revolutionary Mothers by Carol Berkin, Presidential Professor of American Colonial and Revolutionary History; Women’s History Professor at Baruch College, is one of four books I purchased after my first One Day University Class on February 9, 2019. It should be required reading!

The book explains how women of the Revolution were most active at home, organizing boycotts of British goods, raising funds for the fledgling nation, and managing the family business while struggling to maintain a modicum of normalcy as husbands, brothers, and fathers died.

It was not just the men who fought on the front lines, as in the story of Margaret Corbin, who was crippled for life when she took her husband’s place beside a cannon at Fort Monmouth. She explains the mystery of Molly Pitcher (she was not a person but a group of women), camp followers, women who spied for their country, Loyalist women, and the impact on African American and Native women.

This intelligent and comprehensive history brings these forgotten stories to their rightful place in the struggle for American independence. Dr. Birkin also highlights how their efforts set the stage for the continuing campaign for gender equality.

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The Half-Life of Ruby Fielding: A Novel

Read: April 2022

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The Half-Life of Ruby Fielding: A Novel

by Lydia Kang

The Half-Life of Ruby Fielding: A Novel by Lydia Kang is a spellbinding historical mystery about hidden identities, wartime paranoia, and the compelling power of deceit. It was my free April book from First Reads, and it was a page-turner that I highly recommend.

The first year of World War II and the Manhattan Project is the backdrop of this historical fiction. The siblings’ Will and Maggie Scripps are well-defined andy sympathetic characters. I will leave it for the reader to find out the truth about them. Ruby Fielding is a fascinating character, although it takes time for her to be fully developed.

Again, I highly recommend this novel!

Goodreads provides a concise overview.

Brooklyn, 1942. War rages overseas as brother and sister Will and Maggie Scripps contribute to the war effort stateside. Ambitious Will secretly scouts for the Manhattan Project while grief-stricken Maggie works at the Navy Yard, writing letters to her dead mother between shifts.

But the siblings’ quiet lives change when they discover a beautiful woman hiding under their back stairs. This stranger harbors an obsession with poisons, an affection for fine things, and a singular talent for killing small creatures. As she draws Will and Maggie deeper into her mysterious past, they both begin to suspect she’s quite dangerous―all while falling helplessly under her spell.

With whispers of spies in dark corners and the world’s first atomic bomb in the works, the visitor’s sudden presence in Maggie’s and Will’s lives raises questions about who she is and what she wants. Is this mysterious woman someone they can trust―or a threat to everything they hold dear?

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When I'm Gone, Look for Me in the East

Read: January 2023

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When I’m Gone, Look for Me in the East

by Quan Barry

When I’m Gone, Look for Me in the East by Quan Barry is a luminous novel that moves across a windswept Mongolia as a pair of estranged twin brothers make a journey of duty, conflict, and renewed understanding. Since Jan died, I have been sharing her love and not looking for her, so this novel attracted me as it was a counter-narrative. Are our lives our own, or do we belong to something more significant?

When I’m Gone, Look for Me in the East is a stunningly far-flung examination of our struggle to retain our convictions and discover meaning in a fast-changing world, as well as a meditation on accepting what is.

Although I know only a limited amount about Buddhism and even less about Mongolia, I found When I’m Gone, Look for Me in the East a fascinating page-turner of a novel.

Coincidently, while en route to see Memorial, we stopped to eat at a Mexican-Peruvian restaurant on Tenth Avenue in NYC. On the television was a continuous loop of a travelogue on Mongolia.

I found several quotes that I have used in other posts already.

  • “Sometimes faith is the only medicine available.”
  • “When the only hope is a boat and there is no boat, I will be the boat.”

I plan to use others in future posts.

Love never dies, and this quote echoed my belief.

“Love is neither created nor destroyed. It exists at all times and in all dimensions. Love is not something we create—it is something that wells up in us, like sap in a tree. It is an element in the fabric of the universe. Even on that distant day when sentient beings no longer exist, Love carries on. Perhaps our personal relationship to Love is impermanent, but Love itself is not.”

I highly recommend When I’m Gone, Look for Me in the East.

The Goodreads summary provides an overview,

Tasked with finding the reincarnation of a great lama somewhere in the vast Mongolian landscape, the young monk Chuluun seeks the help of his identical twin, Mun, who was recognized as a reincarnation himself as a child but has since renounced their once shared monastic life.

Harking back to her vivid and magical first novel set in Vietnam, Quan Barry carries us across a landscape as unforgiving as it is beautiful and culturally varied, from the stark Gobi Desert to the ancient capital of Chinggis Khan. As their country stretches before them, questions of the immortal soul, along with more earthly matters of love, sex, and brotherhood, haunt the twins, who can hear each other’s thoughts.


The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

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I receive a commission when you buy a book or product using a link on this page. Thank you for supporting Sharing Jan’s Love blog.



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Endling

Read: August 2025

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Endling: A Novel

by Maria Reva

Endling” by Maria Reva, a novel of exceptional literary merit, has been longlisted for the 2024 Booker Prize. Set in Ukraine, the story follows an eccentric scientist who breeds rare snails and two sisters pretending to be part of the marriage industry in their quest to find their activist mother. As Russia invades, they embark on a wild journey that involves kidnapped bachelors and the last of its kind snail. This darkly comic novel delves into themes of survival, love, and hope in times of increasing darkness.

In Ukraine in 2022, Yeva is a loner and a daring scientist who lives outside her mob country. She traverses the country’s forests and valleys, attempting to breed rare snails, though her efforts often fail. Meanwhile, her relatives pressured her not to settle down and start a family. What they don’t realize is that Yeva is already dating multiple men—not for love, but to fund her work—entertaining Westerners who come to Ukraine on guided romance tours believing they’ll find docile brides untainted by feminism and modernity.

Nastia and her sister, Solomiya, are also caught up in the booming marriage industry. They pose as a hopeful bride and her translator while secretly searching for their missing mother, who disappeared after years of fierce activism against the romance tours.

Together, they embark on a journey across hundreds of miles, joined by three angry women, a truckload of kidnapped bachelors, and Lefty, a rare snail with one last chance to perpetuate his species. However, their plans come to a sudden halt when Russia invades.

In a strikingly ambitious and profoundly moving metafictive narrative, Endling masterfully balances horror and family, drawing on Reva’s own experiences as a Ukrainian expat navigating her family’s struggle for survival during wartime. As fiction and reality converge on the page, Reva explores the harsh truths of war: What stories must we tell ourselves to survive? How do we maintain our routines amid military occupation? And for those watching from abroad: Can our sense of normalcy and security ever be restored, or have they always been a fragile illusion?

Endling is a tour de force from an author who weaves a story of love, loss, humor, and devastation that only she can tell.


Maria Reva was born in Ukraine and raised in Canada. She holds an MFA from the Michener Center at the University of Texas. Her fiction has been published in The Atlantic, McSweeney’s, and Best American Short Stories, among others, and has won a National Magazine Award. Additionally, she works as an opera librettist.



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