Fear is Grief’s Enforcer
Estimated reading time: 0 minutes, 40 seconds
Fear has always been just below the surface since Jan received the Lymphoma diagnosis. The first fear was could I be her caregiver?
However, the most severe fear was if she did not survive cancer, how could I live without Jan?
I have confronted my anxieties and learned to live with only Jan’s spirit in the last eight months.
Jan and I learned from Al-Anon, we had to accept the things we cannot change and change the things we can.
To share Jan’s love, I confront my deepest fears every day.
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False Flag
Estimated reading time: 0 minutes, 40 seconds“The only thing we have to fear is fear itself,” opined FDR.
Why does the terror strike so deeply into our souls if that is the case?
In late May, I woke up in a cold sweat. I had slept reasonably well after Jan died, but this night, I could not put the terror that woke me back in a bottle.
My mind convinced me that Jan did not love me despite all the evidence proving that our love was deep and pure.
It was only in therapy that I could finally understand that it was a false flag.
