Love Can Conquer Even Death

We Should Pray not for the Deceased but Pray for the Living!

The beautiful and haunting sound of the shofar lingered in my thoughts like a reverberating echo as Roger and I settled into his car after Yom Kippur at Temple Sha’arey Shalom. “The services felt more poignant this year than they have in a long time,” Roger remarked, echoing my sentiments. We couldn’t help but discuss the day’s profound impact on us. Once I was back home, I sank into the comfort of my couch, eager to capture the raw intensity of my emotions by translating them into written words within a Word document before they slipped away into the recesses of my mind.

I was chatting with Bill and Brian, Temple Sha’arey Shalom’s co-presidents after Yom Kippur.

Despite the hunger after a 24-hour fast, I composed my thoughts. The High Holidays were genuinely touching and meaningful last night and today. They were a transformative experience, leading me to a profound connection to the divine that helped me release my past transgressions.
I look forward to a year filled with faith, hope, and love, knowing that change is possible.

Without pausing, my hands typed my thoughts about the Yizkor service, which has been challenging for me in the past and took on a new and profound meaning this year. It wasn’t just a prayer for the departed; it became a pledge for the living. How often have I read that line but not comprehend it in the last three-plus years? Finally, like hearing the shofar, I listened to the commandment, and I’m dedicated to being a better parent, grandparent, friend, neighbor, and the best version of myself! I screamed—love indeed conquers even death—so loud that I feared my neighbors would be considered, and I might have lost my mind.

But how do I become a better person? My friend Danny has written that he perceives me as having changed.

You are an incredible person, a new person, and a better person! Jan, although not physically here, has done so much for you!

I have made significant progress on my journey through grief. It has been a challenging and sometimes painful experience, but I have gained valuable insights about myself and the world. Each lesson has been meaningful, and I have embraced them wholeheartedly. However, I have always viewed Danny’s words more as an honorary description than a reality that resonates deeply within me.

Two years ago, I took off my wedding ring as a symbol of embracing the loss of my wife. The fifteen months of grief I went through were the most difficult challenge of my life at that time. While the challenge of becoming a better parent, grandparent, friend, neighbor, and the best version of myself may be equally demanding, it is not one I can shy away from. Love’s magical power helped me conquer grief. Understanding that love can conquer even death will guide me daily on this new journey. Achieving this goal will require the love and support of all my overlapping communities. Can I count on you?

Tashlich

We Should Pray not for the Deceased but Pray for the Living!

Temple Sha’arey Shalom, my congregation, gathered after Rosh Hashanah services at Briant Park in Summit to observe the custom of Tashlich, a ritual symbolic of the “casting off” of sins into a body of water. Rabbi Uri Allen led the service with songs and blew the shofar!