I remember reading portions of Man's Search for Meaning by Viktor E. Frankl at different times, but I never finished the book. However, recently, eight and a half months after the passing of Jan, the book came up for discussion in one of my groups. Frankl's theory of logotherapy, which derives from the Greek word for "meaning," centers around the idea that the primary human drive is not pleasure, as Freud believed, but rather the search for what gives life meaning. I now have a framework for my life without Jan.
Caretaker No, Caregiver Yes!
Estimated reading time: 1 minute, 36 seconds
Sunday afternoon, my grandson joined me at The Shakespeare Theatre of NJ for The Caretaker.
Harold Pinter’s 1960 classic was performed flawlessly by the cast under the direction of Bonnie Monte.
Jon Barker, Isaac Hickox-Young, and Paul Mullins were the ideal cast for the absurdist play.
A decade after its premiere, I found myself, on occasion, in circumstances that Harold Pinter could have easily written.
Once I was working as a tenant organizer in an abandoned building that the City of New York had acquired.
As we prepared plans to convert the vacant building into affordable homes, I met one remaining tenant squatting in the building without heat or electricity.
He attempted during several meetings to claim he was the owner and would repair the building and find tenants.
In our last conversation, he offered me the opportunity of being his caretaker once he completed the work.
I declined as that was not a skill or a position I desired.
In place of being a caretaker, the love Jan and I shared prepared me for the most important task of my life, being Jan’s caregiver.
Love is the ultimate and highest goal to which man can aspire. Then I grasped the meaning of the greatest secret that human poetry and human thought and belief have to impart: The salvation of man is through love and in love.
My love for Jan will never die!
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Man's Search for Meaning
CancerCare Circle of Hope
Estimated reading time: 1 minute, 36 secondsLast week, CancerCare, which provided me with vital support services, interviewed me about my role as a caregiver for their Circle of Hope.
As I often do, I did not respond directly to the questions but spoke from my heart.
The interview reminded me of the importance of being a caregiver and how our salvation is “through love and in love.”
I would have done anything not to have been Jan’s caregiver.
But it was the job that my love required of me. As long as I live, being her husband and caregiver will be my highest honor.
