Please, Stay With Me!

Estimated reading time: 14 minutes, 57 seconds

Love is Our Only Salvation!

My wife, Jan, was lying in bed, her eyes fixed on me as she pleaded, “Honey, now that you’re not working anymore, please stay in bed with me.” I was standing on her side of the bed, pondering my next move, when I heard her voice. Her words melted my heart, and I couldn’t resist her request. Her words melted my heart, and I couldn’t resist her request. Although I had a lazy day ahead without work and other obligations, I knew I couldn’t refuse Jan’s plea. I decided to stay and hold her in my arms, cherishing the precious moments we spent together. As I returned to bed, I noticed her nightgown lying on the floor. I kissed her and whispered, “You’ve given me an offer I could not refuse.

As time goes by, the memories of our departed loved ones become more precious than anything else in this world. We cling to these Kodachrome memories, knowing they are all we have left. However, the human brain can only hold onto fleeting images and bits of conversation, which are never enough to capture the essence of our loved ones fully. 

As someone who has lost their spouse, I know the deep pain and sorrow that comes with losing a loved one. It can feel like a part of you is missing, and the world seems to lose its color and vibrancy. However, I have found comfort in keeping my late wife, Jan, close to me, even after her passing.

Jan was a fantastic person who touched so many lives with her kindness and love. We had a deep and meaningful relationship built on trust, respect, and a profound connection that words can’t describe. Even though we were two separate people, it always felt like we were two halves of the same soul. When we met, it was like we had known each other forever, and we quickly became inseparable.

In our years together, Jan helped shape me into who I am today. She encouraged me to pursue my passions and challenged me to be the best version of myself. Her love and support gave me the strength and confidence to face life’s challenges head-on.

Now that she’s gone, I carry Jan’s memory wherever I go. It may seem strange to some people, but to me, it’s a way of keeping her spirit alive and present in my life. I feel her guidance and love with me every day, and I know she will always be a part of me, now and forever.

First Day of Spring 2019

As the morning light softly filtered through the curtains, I nestled closer to Jan. I could feel the warmth of her naked skin against mine, and the gentle rhythm of her breaths filled the air. We had already spent some time together in bed earlier that morning, but I couldn’t resist the temptation to linger a little longer. 

After a few minutes of peaceful silence, I finally worked up the courage to leave the comfort of our bed, knowing that I had things to do. But before I could go, I leaned in and kissed Jan on the lips, savoring the sweetness of her lips. I may not have work, but you do,” I whispered, conveying my love and support for her.

Jan’s face lit up with a smile, and I knew she appreciated the extra time we had spent together. She explained that she had a breakfast meeting in town and needed to shower and dress. “I will get the morning papers and take out the recycling while you shower.” 

Lovers forever

As I entered the apartment, the sound of water running from Jan’s shower filled the air. I climbed up the stairs and made my way to our small bathroom. Knowing Jan enjoyed hot showers, I quickly shut the door to keep the warmth inside and grabbed a towel to hand her. As I opened the shower door, my eyes fell on her, and it was as if I was seeing her wet, naked body for the first time. Jan dried her face, stopped, leaned in, and kissed me without a word, filling my heart with warmth and tenderness. Keep that thought,” she said with a smile, “it would be nice to do more than cuddling tonight.” I blushed and looked down, noticing a bulge in my sweatpants.

Pages: 1 2 3

5 comments add your comment

Share your thoughts and ideas

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

The Jan Lilien Education Fund!

Creation Lake: A Novel

Read: November 2024

Get this book

Creation Lake: A Novel

by Rachel Kushner

Today, I started reading Creation Lake: A Novel by Rachel Kushner, a two-time finalist for the Booker Prize and the National Book Award. This novel follows a seductive and cunning American woman who infiltrates an anarchist collective in France. It is a gripping page-turner filled with dark humor. Creation Lake is Kushner‘s finest achievement—a work of high art, comedy, and unforgettable pleasure.

The story revolves around a secret agent, a thirty-four-year-old American woman who employs ruthless tactics and possesses striking beauty. She is sent to carry out covert operations in France. The narrator introduces herself as “Sadie Smith” when she arrives at a rural commune of French subversives, whom she is secretly monitoring, and to her lover, Lucien, a young and well-to-do Parisian whom she meets by so-called “cold bump”—making him believe their encounter was accidental. Like everyone else she targets, Lucien is helpful to her and ultimately manipulated by her. Sadie operates with strategy and deception, following instructions from her “contacts”—shadowy figures in business and government. Initially, these contacts want her to provoke reactions. As the story progresses, their demands become more complex.

In this region filled with ancient farms and prehistoric caves, Sadie becomes captivated by a mysterious figure named Bruno Lacombe. Bruno mentors young activists who believe that the path to emancipation lies not in revolt but in a return to the ancient past. Just as Sadie thinks she is the seductress and puppet master of those she surveils, Bruno enchants her with his ingenious counter-histories, poignant laments, and tragic narrative.

In brief, striking sections, Rachel Kushner‘s interpretation of “noir” is taut and dazzling.



When you purchase a book through one of my links, I earn a small commission that helps support my passion for reading. This contribution allows me to buy even more books to share with you, creating an incredible cycle of discovering great reads together! Your support truly makes a difference!


×
Judaism Is About Love

Read: October 2024

Get this book

Judaism Is About Love

by Rabbi Shai Held

Today, I embarked on a transformative journey with Rabbi Shai Held’s book, “Judaism Is About Love.Rav Uri‘s mention of this book during this year’s Yom Kippur service at Temple Sha’arey Shalom sparked a profound connection to the Divine, as echoed in my writings “Love Can Conquer Even Death” and “High Holiday Meditation Cleanses My Soul.” Rabbi Held’s book, which focuses on love, meaning, purpose, and faith, has guided my quest to become the best version of myself.

“Judaism Is About Love” is a beacon of understanding, offering a profound and groundbreaking perspective on Jewish life. It challenges a long-standing misinterpretation that has shaped the Western narrative: Christianity is the religion of love, while Judaism is the religion of law. Rabbi Shai Held, a leading Jewish thinker in America, passionately argues for correcting this misconception. He asserts that love is not just a part of Judaism but a fundamental aspect, thus reclaiming the heart of the Jewish tradition.

With a unique blend of intellectual rigor, respect for tradition, and a vibrant Judaism, Held’s aim is clear: to reclaim Judaism in its authentic form. He illustrates that love is the foundation of the true Jewish faith, influencing our unique perspectives on injustice, protest, grace, family life, responsibilities toward neighbors and enemies, and chosenness.

Judaism Is About Love” is a work of ambition and revelation. It serves as a beacon, illuminating the true essence of Judaism. More than just a book, it is an act of restoration from within, reclaiming the authentic form of Judaism.



When you purchase a book through one of my links, I earn a small commission that helps support my passion for reading. This contribution allows me to buy even more books to share with you, creating an incredible cycle of discovering great reads together! Your support truly makes a difference!


×
The Immortal Irishman

Read: October 2019

Get this book

The Immortal Irishman

by Timothy Egan

 

The Immortal Irishman: The Irish Revolutionary Who Became an American Hero by Timothy Egan is a book I started reading as The Worst Hard Timesincluded the first fifty pages.

I often only read a few pages and then return the book to the e-library. The Immortal Irishman was not the case, and I could not stop reading and borrowed the book immediately.

I had never heard of Thomas Francis Meagher or his life in Ireland or America. The story was fascinating, unique, and essential.

The Irish-American story, with all its twists and triumphs, is told through the improbable life of one man. A dashing young orator during the Great Famine of the 1840s, in which a million of his Irish countrymen died, Thomas Francis Meagher led a failed uprising against British rule, for which he was banished to a Tasmanian prison colony. He escaped and six months later was heralded in the streets of New York – the revolutionary hero, back from the dead, at the dawn of the great Irish immigration to America.

Meagher’s rebirth in America included his leading the newly formed Irish Brigade from New York in many of the fiercest battles of the Civil War – Bull Run, Antietam, Fredericksburg. Twice shot from his horse while leading charges, left for dead in the Virginia mud, Meagher’s dream was that Irish-American troops, seasoned by war, would return to Ireland and liberate their homeland from British rule.

The hero’s last chapter, as territorial governor of Montana, was a romantic quest for a true home in the far frontier. His death has long been a mystery to which Egan brings haunting, colorful new evidence.

I recommend this book.

Subscribe

Contact Us

×
Wild Dark Shore

Read: March 2025

Get this book

Wild Dark Shore

by Charlotte McConaghy

Today, I dove into “Wild Dark Shore” by Charlotte McConaghy, a captivating novel that The New York Times hailed as one of the must-reads for this spring. The story unfolds on a remote island, where a family’s tranquil life changes with the arrival of a mysterious woman who washes ashore just as a tempest brews on the horizon. With secrets and storms looming, I can already feel the tension building—this promises to be a thrilling read!

Dominic Salt and his three children are caretakers of Shearwater, a tiny island not far from Antarctica. Home to the world’s largest seed bank, Shearwater was once full of researchers, but with sea levels rising, the Salts are now its final inhabitants. Until, during the worst storm the island has ever seen, a woman mysteriously washes ashore.

Isolation has taken its toll on the Salts, but as they nurse the woman, Rowan, back to strength, it begins to feel like she might just be what they need. Long accustomed to protecting herself, Rowan starts imagining a future where she could belong to someone again.

But Rowan isn’t telling the truth about why she set out for Shearwater. And when she discovers sabotaged radios and a freshly dug grave, she realizes Dominic is keeping his secrets. As the storms on Shearwater gather force, they all must decide if they can trust each other enough to protect the precious seeds in their care before it’s too late—and if they can finally put the tragedies of the past behind them to create something new together.

Wild Dark Shore is a novel of breathtaking twists, dizzying beauty, and ferocious love about the impossible choices we make to protect the people we love, even as the world disappears.


Charlotte McConaghy is a New York Times bestselling author of the novels Wild Dark Shore, Once There Were Wolves, and Migrations, which have been translated into over twenty languages. She is currently based in Sydney, Australia.



When you purchase a book through one of my links, I earn a small commission that helps support my passion for reading. This contribution allows me to buy even more books to share with you, creating an incredible cycle of discovering great reads together! Your support truly makes a difference!


×
The Unsettled: A Novel

Read: October 2023

Get this book

The Unsettled: A Novel

by Ayana Mathis

I highly recommend reading “The Unsettled: A Novel” by Ayana Mathis. It’s a brilliant, explosive, and vitally crucial new work from one of America’s most fiercely talented storytellers. The story follows Ava Carson and her ten-year-old son, Toussaint, arriving at the Glenn Avenue family shelter in Philadelphia in 1985. From the outset, Ava is already thinking of a way to escape.

She is disgusted by the shelter’s squalid conditions, including a room infested with cockroaches, barely edible food, and an untrustworthy night security guard. She is resolute in her mission to rescue her son from the shelter’s dangers and humiliations and free herself from the complex past that led them there.

Ava and her mother, Dutchess, have been estranged for many years since Ava left her Alabama home as a young woman. Despite the miles between them, mother and daughter are still deeply connected. However, Ava finds it hard to forgive her mother for her sharp tongue, intractability, and bouts of despair that led to neglect and hunger during her childhood.

Ava wants to be a better mother to her son, Toussaint. However, when Toussaint’s father, Cass, suddenly reappears, Ava is drawn to his charisma and radical vision to dismantle systems of racial injustice and establish a new communal living.

Meanwhile, in Alabama, Dutchess is facing a difficult challenge. She is struggling to prevent the sale of Bonaparte to white developers, who are rapidly encroaching on the land. Bonaparte has been a beacon of Black freedom and self-determination, and it is now in the hands of its last five Black residents – families who have lived there for generations. Dutchess is fighting to preserve the venerable history of Bonaparte and the land, which she has worked hard to keep as Ava’s inheritance.

As Ava approaches Cass, Toussaint begins to sense danger around him. He worries about his mother’s erratic behavior and his father’s intense and volatile nature. Toussaint dreams of returning to Bonaparte and Dutchess, where he was born and raised. He hopes to find his way back there soon.


The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

Subscribe

Contact Us

I receive a commission when you buy a book or product using a link on this page. Thank you for supporting Sharing Jan’s Love blog.



×
Tell Me Everything: A Novel

Read: January 2025

Get this book

Tell Me Everything: A Novel

by Elizabeth Strout

Today, I dived into “Tell Me Everything: A Novel” by Elizabeth Strout, and I’m already captivated. This book made it onto NPR’s best books list for 2024 and caught the eye of Oprah’s Book Club—no small feat! Strout writes with such empathy and emotional depth that it reflects her incredible talent. Lucy beautifully captures this sentiment by stating, “Love comes in many different forms, but it is always love.”

With her profound understanding of the human condition and silences that convey deep emotions, Elizabeth Strout returns to the town of Crosby, Maine, reuniting with her beloved characters—Lucy Barton, Olive Kitteridge, Bob Burgess, and others—as they confront a shocking crime, navigate love while choosing to remain apart, and ponder the question, as Lucy Barton puts it, “What does anyone’s life mean?”

It’s autumn in Maine, and the town lawyer, Bob Burgess, finds himself entangled in a murder investigation, defending a lonely, isolated man accused of killing his mother. He has also developed a deep and abiding friendship with the acclaimed writer Lucy Barton, who lives nearby in a house by the sea with her ex-husband, William.

Lucy and Bob take walks and discuss their lives, fears, regrets, and what could have been. Meanwhile, Lucy is finally introduced to the iconic Olive Kitteridge, who now resides in a retirement community on the outskirts of town. They spend afternoons in Olive’s apartment, sharing stories about people they have known—what Olive calls “unrecorded lives,” which reanimate their experiences and imbue their lives with meaning.



When you purchase a book through one of my links, I earn a small commission that helps support my passion for reading. This contribution allows me to buy even more books to share with you, creating an incredible cycle of discovering great reads together! Your support truly makes a difference!


×

Discover more from Sharing Jan’s Love

Subscribe now to keep reading and get access to the full archive.

Continue reading