True Love Never Dies!
Estimated reading time: 10 minutes, 52 secondsHonesty is the Best Policy
“In 1973, I met the love of my life, and we were married on August 9, 1975,” my voice seemed like it was about to crack like an icicle dangling from the eaves of my home. I picked up my water bottle and took a big sip before continuing to respond to the NPR interviewer. “I had never been as happy as I was when we married. I loved her fully and forever.”
“If” the words I wanted to say were obstructed somewhere between my cluttered brain and my mouth, I persisted as I knew I had to answer the question entirely.
“If I had dreamed of sitting here on my retirement day, I would have seen her sitting next to me.”
I audibly sighed.
“But as you can see, I am alone today. Uhm, eh,” I was now in unchartered waters and needed to refocus my thoughts before opening my mouth.
“The year after we married, she met someone else whom she said she also loved. I did not take it well, and” I paused to select the correct words.
“I was upset. No, I was angry. Not that it is possible, but if I had to do it again, I would have accepted her decision and worked to save the marriage. Unfortunately, I was angry and made a mistake and caused her to leave me.”
The room was filled with gasps.
I took a deep breath to clear my head. I knew, but would not say, that I had no choice when Jan left me. It would have only delayed the inevitable if I had accepted that she loved someone else. But I could not share that truth with myself, much less anyone else.
“A few weeks after the love of my life left, It was the day I came for the interview; I picked up my wedding ring and put it back on my finger as it seemed naked without it. During the interview and my early days on the job, no one asked me about my wedding ring. I checked the box on the payroll forms as married because we had not filed for divorce.”
Pausing to breathe, I continued, “Relationships can die, but true love never does. I wear my wedding ring because I still love her. That is my only answer.”
Tears were starting to flow from my eyes. I wiped them with the flimsy paper cocktail napkin, but I knew the tears would flow freely like a broken water hose, precisely as I had lost control of my tear ducts when I realized Jan had left me.
“That is a beautiful story.”
“It’s not a story. It is a fundamental truth, love never dies….”
Despite my wailing like a coyote, the audience was standing and clapping.
“A chant broke out across the room, “We love you, Richard!”
I stood up and reached for the interviewer’s hand. Standing beside her, I looked at the audience thru my blurred eyes and bowed.
After almost 48 years, I recently lost my wife, Jan Lilien. Like The Little Prince, Jan and I believed that “The most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or touched, they are felt with the heart.” This blog is a collection of my random thoughts on love, grief, life, and all things considered.
