Home Alone in the Burg

Estimated reading time: 14 minutes, 24 seconds

Losing at Love and
Afraid to Try Again!

Mia’s boom box was on the top of the stoop of the St. John’s Lutheran Church rectory, and the music was loud enough that anyone on that block of Maujer Street could hear. It was mid-September 1973, and I was relaxing with Mia, Earl, and six other friends. The harsh summer heat had left, but it was still mild enough to sit outside without a jacket. After a summer road trip that had left me alone and adrift, it was a pleasure to be back in Brooklyn with my friends.

Gladys Knight and the Pips‘ song “Neither One Of Us” played on the boom box.

It’s sad to think we’re not gonna make it
And it’s gotten to the point
Where we just can’t fake it
For some ungodly reason
We just won’t let it die
I guess neither one of us (Neither one of us )
Wants to be the first to say good-bye

Gladys Knight and the Pips
Neither One Of Us (Wants To Be The First To Say Goodbye).

“So, Richard, how are you feeling now that you no longer have an imaginary girlfriend,” Mia inquired.

A round of chuckles greeted Mia’s reference to my imaginary girlfriend.

Even though I knew one day someone would ask that question, I was not expecting it at that moment. For eighteen months, I had told everyone that I had a girlfriend, and she was the only one for me. Everyone had decided she was imaginary because they had never met her, she never called me, and I never got any mail from her. 

As Gladys says, it is sad.

My friends on the stoop nodded their heads.

“It’s over, and there is nothing I can do about it.”

“Maybe you should get a new girlfriend,” someone suggested. “That’s what I would do!”

“If you have a terrible breakup, the best option is to find someone new,” Mia explained.

I shook my head.

“No, I have loved and lost and am in no hurry to lose again.”

Richard, to be honest, you look like you were run over by a Mack truck.

“That’s why I cannot and will not try again.”

Gladys’s voice filled the air again.

Convincing ourselves to give it just one more try
Because neither one of us (Neither one of us)
Neither one of us (Neither one of us) wants to be the first to say
Neither one of us (Neither one of us) wants to be the first to say
Neither one of us (Neither one of us) wants to be the first to say
Farewell my love
Goodbye

Gladys Knight and the Pips
Neither One Of Us (Wants To Be The First To Say Goodbye).

If you do not try again, you may never be happy.”

If I thought it would work, I might try. But having lost again at love, I am happy not having a girlfriend. I have friends, and as Carole King and James Taylor says, ‘You Got A Friend!‘ What more do I need in life?”

Mia turned down the volume on the boom box, and my friends on the stoop started singing acapella,

When you’re down and troubled,
And you need some love and care,
And nothing, nothing is going right
Close your eyes and think of me,
And soon I will be there
To brighten up even your darkest night.
You call out my name.
And you know wherever I am
I’ll come running to see you again

Carole king and James Taylor, ‘You Got A Friend!’

Walking east on Maujer Street to my cold, empty apartment, I wondered if I would ever find love again. Would I be OK if I never loved again?

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A Marriage at Sea: A True Story of Love, Obsession, and Shipwreck

Read: December 2025

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A Marriage at Sea

by Sophie Elmhirst

Taut, propulsive, and dazzling, A Marriage at Sea: A True Story of Love, Obsession, and Shipwreck by Sophie Elmhirst combines an adrenaline-fueled high-seas adventure with a poignant love story. The book examines our fascination with challenging individuals and how we grow under extreme conditions. The book was one of Barack Obama’s favorite reads of 2025. Additionally, it has been featured in The New York Times’ Top 10 Books of 2025 and has received accolades as a Best Book of 2025 from NPR, Vogue, Time Magazine, and The New Yorker.

Maurice and Maralyn make an odd couple. He is a loner—awkward and obsessive—while she is charismatic and ambitious. Despite their differences, they share a dread of wasting their lives and, like many of us, dream of escaping it all. What if they quit their jobs, sold their house, bought a boat, and sailed away?

While most of us only daydream about such adventures, in June 1972, Maurice and Maralyn actually set sail. For nearly a year, everything went well until a breaching whale struck their boat, sinking it in the deep Pacific Ocean.

What follows is a jaw-dropping fight for survival in the wild ocean, with little hope of rescue. Alone together for months in a tiny rubber raft, starving and exhausted, Maurice and Maralyn must find ways to stay alive while also coping with each other as their inner demons emerge. Their marriage is put to the ultimate test as they realize that, although they can run away from the world, they cannot escape themselves. A Marriage at Sea is a mind-blowing tale of obsession, survival, and partnership.


Sophie Elmhirst is an award-winning journalist who writes regularly for The Guardian Long Read and The Economist; her work has also appeared in The New York Times Magazine, The New Yorker, and Harper’s Bazaar, among other places. She’s the winner of the British Press Award for Feature Writer of the Year and a Foreign Press Award. She lives in London and is the author of A Marriage at Sea.



Discover your next favorite book and dive into a world of curated, exciting reads by purchasing through my links. You’ll have access to a diverse selection of books that I’ve personally vetted to ensure quality and enjoyment. Additionally, by supporting these selections, you’ll help me continue to provide you with more personalized recommendations. I earn a small commission from your purchase, which allows me to buy and share even more books with you. Your support truly makes a difference!


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Something About Living

Read: November 2024

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Something About Living

by Lena Khalaf Tuffaha

I recently read “Something About Living” by Lena Khalaf Tuffaha, a poet and essayist whose work resonates deeply. The book of poems won the 2024 National Book Award for Poetry and delved into Palestinian life through the lens of the American language, revealing a legacy of obfuscation and erasure. It questions what happens when language packages ongoing disasters for consumption and disposal.

As a Jew supporting a two-state solution, I initially hesitated to read this collection of poems. However, I was pleasantly surprised by the lyrical beauty of the verses, which explore love not just as an emotion but as a transformative force and “a radical act.” Every poem that genuinely resonated with me. “Something About Living” is a book I highly recommend for its depth and insight!

Ms. Khalaf Tuffaha has an incredible literary repertoire; her previous work, “Water & Salt,” earned the esteemed 2018 Washington State Book Award, while “Kaan & Her Sisters” was a finalist for the Firecracker Award. In addition, “Something About Living” also received the 2022 Akron Prize for Poetry. I’m excited to explore her profound insights and lyrical mastery!

Adrian Matejka, the author of “Somebody Else Sold the World,” has written about “Something About Living,”

“It’s nearly impossible to write poetry that simultaneously holds the human desire for joy and the insistent agitations of protest, but Lena Khalaf Tuffaha‘s gorgeous and wide-ranging new collection Something About Living does just that. Her poems interweave Palestine’s historic suffering, the challenges of living in this world full of violence and ill will, and the gentle delights we embrace to survive that violence. Khalaf Tuffaha’s elegant poems sing the fractured songs of Diaspora while remaining clear-eyed to the cause of the fracturing: the multinational hubris of colonialism and greed. This collection is her witness to our collective unraveling, vowel by vowel, syllable by syllable. “Let the plural be a return of us,” the speaker of “On the Thirtieth Friday We Consider Plurals” says and this plurality is our tenuous humanity and the deep need to hang on to kindness in our communities. In these poems Khalaf Tuffaha reminds us that love isn’t an idea; it is a radical act. Especially for those who, like this poet, travel through the world vigilantly, but steadfastly remain heart first.



When you purchase a book through one of my links, I earn a small commission that helps support my passion for reading. This contribution allows me to buy even more books to share with you, creating an incredible cycle of discovering great reads together! Your support truly makes a difference!


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Whale Fall: A Novel

Read: July 2024

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Whale Fall: A Novel

by Elizabeth O'Connor

I have started reading “Whale Fall: A Novel” by Elizabeth O’Connor. With its unique blend of loss, isolation, folklore, and the journey of self-discovery, this debut novel offers a compelling narrative set in 1938 on a remote Welsh island. The story is catalyzed by the arrival of a dead whale, a powerful symbol that sets the stage for the characters’ journeys.

The story revolves around Manod, a young woman who has spent her entire life on the island. Despite their island home’s harsh yet stunning surroundings, Manod yearns to explore life beyond it, a desire that will resonate with many readers.

As two English ethnographers arrive to study the island’s culture, Manod sees it as a potential escape from her community. However, her growing involvement with them triggers a profound internal conflict. She grapples with the dilemma of pursuing her desires or remaining loyal to her community. This struggle resonates with the universal human experience, making it a compelling read for many.

Whale Fall‘ vividly portrays the tensions that surface when one person’s aspirations threaten the unity of a community. O’Connor’s narrative skillfully depicts the community and Manod on the brink, forced to confront a world that seems to infringe upon them. This evokes a sense of admiration for O’Connor’s storytelling prowess, making it a must-read for literary fiction enthusiasts.

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A Guardian and a Thief

Read: October 2025

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A Guardian and a Thief

by Megha Majumdar

Set over the course of one week, A Guardian and a Thief, by Megha Majumdar, a finalist in the fiction category for the 2025 National Book Award, tells two stories: Ma’s frantic search for the thief while keeping hunger at bay amid a worsening food shortage. The tale of Boomba, the thief, whose desperation to care for his family drives him to commit a series of escalating crimes whose consequences he cannot fathom.

With stunning control and command, Megha Majumdar paints a kaleidoscopic portrait of two families, each operating from a place of ferocious love and undefeated hope, each discovering how far they will go to secure their children’s future as they stave off encroaching catastrophe.

In a near-future Kolkata, Ma, her two-year-old daughter, and her elderly father are just days from leaving the collapsing city behind to join Ma’s husband in Ann Arbor, Michigan. After procuring long-awaited visas from the consulate, they pack their bags for the flight to America. But in the morning, they awaken to discover that Ma’s purse, containing their treasured immigration documents, has been stolen.

A masterful new work from one of the most exciting voices of her generation.


Megha Majumdar is the author of the bestselling novel A Burning, which has been recognized by the New York Times and nominated for several prestigious awards, including the National Book Award, the National Book Critics Circle’s John Leonard Prize, and the American Library Association’s Andrew Carnegie Medal. The book “A Burning” was recognized as one of the best of the year by various media outlets, including The Washington Post, The New York Times, NPR, The Atlantic, Vogue, and TIME Magazine.

In 2022, she received a Whiting Award. Born and raised in Kolkata, India, Majumdar holds degrees in anthropology from Harvard University and Johns Hopkins University. She is the former editor-in-chief of Catapult Books and currently resides in New York.



Discover your next favorite book and dive into a world of curated, exciting reads by purchasing through my links. You’ll have access to a diverse selection of books I’ve personally vetted for quality and enjoyment. Additionally, by supporting these selections, you’ll help me continue to provide you with more personalized recommendations. I earn a small commission from your purchase, which allows me to buy and share even more books with you. Your support truly makes a difference!


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The Friend: A Novel

Read: September 2022

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The Friend: A Novel

by Sigrid Nunez

The Friend: A Novel by Sigrid Nunez is a moving story of love, friendship, grief, healing, and the magical bond between a woman and her dog. When a woman unexpectedly loses her lifelong best friend and mentor, she finds herself burdened with the unwanted dog he has left behind. I understand the positives and negatives of having a dog help with grief, but I cannot have one where I live.

One line that resonated with me was,

You can’t hurry, love, as the song goes. You can’t hurry, grief, either.

Far too often, widows are in a hurry, not unlike young lovers. We need to learn patience and remind ourselves that the more we love, the more we will grieve.

I often said that Jan would replace me with a dog if she survived me.

I recommend this book.

The Goodreads summary provides a concise overview,

The woman’s own battle against grief is intensified by the mute suffering of the dog, a huge Great Dane traumatized by the inexplicable disappearance of its master, and by the threat of eviction: dogs are prohibited in her apartment building.

While others worry that grief has made her a victim of magical thinking, the woman refuses to be separated from the dog except for brief periods of time. Isolated from the rest of the world, increasingly obsessed with the dog’s care, determined to read its mind and fathom its heart, she comes dangerously close to unraveling. But while troubles abound, rich and surprising rewards lie in store for both of them.

Elegiac and searching, The Friend is both a meditation on loss and a celebration of human-canine devotion.


The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

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Beautiful World, Where Are You

Read: July 2022

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Beautiful World, Where Are You

by Sally Rooney

Beautiful World, Where Are You by Sally Rooney, a writer recommended to me, but I have always kept them on the to-read list, not the current reading. Does a beautiful word exist? Is it possible to live in a beautiful world despite the loss of the love of my life? Perhaps reading  Beautiful World, Where Are You, will help me in my grief journey.

Ms. Rooney’s book was a page-turner, and I highly recommend it.

One of the quotes from the book echoed my dream of a beautiful world.

“When I try to picture for myself what a happy life might look like, the picture hasn’t changed very much since I was a child – a house with flowers and trees around it, and a river nearby, and a room full of books, and someone there to love me, that’s all. Just to make a home there, and to care for my parents when they grow older. Never to move, never to board a plane again, just to live quietly and then be buried in the earth.” ― Sally Rooney, Beautiful World, Where Are You

It also helped remind me how unique and memorable the love that Jan and I shared was. We could quickly fall into a life lived separately as friends, or we might not have ever fallen in love and married.

As Sally Rooney in Beautiful World, Where Are You, wrote:

“If God wanted me to give you up, he wouldn’t have made me who I am.”

The Goodreads summary provides an overview.

Alice, a novelist, meets Felix, who works in a warehouse, and asks him if he’d like to travel to Rome with her. In Dublin, her best friend, Eileen, is getting over a breakup and slips back into flirting with Simon, a man she has known since childhood. Alice, Felix, Eileen, and Simon are still young—but life is catching up with them. They desire each other, they delude each other, they get together, and they break apart. They have sex, they worry about sex, and they worry about their friendships and the world they live in. Are they standing in the last lighted room before the darkness, bearing witness to something? Will they find a way to believe in a beautiful world?


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