Visiting Jan During COVID

Estimated reading time: 7 minutes, 32 seconds

The Visit

“Welcome. Before seeing your wife, put on this hospital gown, gloves, and shoe coverings,” said the nurse as she welcomed me to the COVID unit. I have never been good at putting on hospital gowns, but I did it on the first try. The gloves and shoe coverings were a little more complicated.

When they opened the door to her room, Jan’s smile was so large and warm that it melted my heart and could have melted every ice cube in the universe.

I love you,” Jan shouted.

I responded with, “I love you so very much!”

Visiting Jan During COVID
Jan Lilien

The nurse asked me, “Would you like a photo?”

I handed her my iPhone and did not even think of taking my mask off.

“How do these photos look?”

Jan said they were perfect.

As this nurse left, she said I could take off my mask.

I stopped getting lunch ready and reached over and kissed Jan. It had been so long since we were together that this kiss felt like our first.

As soon as we finished lunch, Dr. Strair entered the room. I reach for my mask, but he says it is OK to say unmasked.

Jan and I start to speak at the same time. “Thanks…”

I stop, and Jan finishes our shared thought, “Thanks for letting Richard visit me.

I was worried about your emotional state and advocated for a visit,” Dr. Strair responded.

“Thank you so very much,” I said.

“We analyzed the pathology report, and it indicated that Janice has an expression of CD30, which is very treatable, and we plan to begin therapy tomorrow. The treatment is effective and fast-acting and does not lower blood counts,” said Dr. Strair.

It was Jan’s first hearing about this, and she looked relieved and happy.

This is wonderful news,” she said. “Are there any side effects or risks?”

Dr. Strair explained moderate risks but stressed the potential for rapid improvement.

“I am willing to try anything that will help me.”

“Good, I will write the orders to start treatment.”

“I just want her healthy and home,” I say.

We had survived COVID, the never-ending ER visit, but we were together and had hope. This lucky break made us believe that Spring was about to burst open.

We were more in love than ever when I walked back to our car.

Jan will live; I screamed as I walked into the parking deck. She is going to live and be home soon.


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The Human Stain: A Novel

Read: September 2024

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The Human Stain: A Novel

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Today, I started reading The Human Stain: A Novel by Philip Roth. This book is considered a masterpiece and has earned its place among The New York Times’ 100 Best Books of the 21st Century. The story takes place in 1998, a significant year marked by a presidential impeachment that affected the entire nation. In a peaceful New England town, the respected classics professor Coleman Silk is forced into retirement due to false accusations of racism by his colleagues.

This accusation triggers a series of events that bring to light shocking revelations about Coleman, revelations that carry a profound societal significance. Coleman Silk harbors a secret, a secret that is not about his affair with Faunia Farley, a woman half his age with a troubled past, or the alleged racism that led to his downfall at the college where he was once a respected dean. It’s not even about misogyny, despite Professor Delphine Roux’s attempts to portray him as such. Coleman’s true secret, a secret he has guarded for fifty years from everyone in his life, including his wife, children, colleagues, and friends, is a defining aspect of his character and his relationships.

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The Keepers of the House by Shirley Ann Grau is a book that I read a portion of for a college class, but for reasons that I cannot now remember never got around to reading it from cover to cover. In the early stages of grief, I found a copy in our bookshelf and said, let me read it now. It was a decision that I did not regret.

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Read: April 2024

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How the Word Is Passed: A Reckoning with the History of Slavery Across America by Clint Smith. This book was a gift from my son Jon. The New York Times selected How the Word is Passed as one of the best books published this year. Beginning in his hometown of New Orleans, Clint Smith leads the reader on an unforgettable tour of monuments and landmarks—those that are honest about the past and those that are not—that offer an intergenerational story of how slavery has been central in shaping our nation’s collective history, and ourselves.

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Goodreads provides this overview for those who still need to be convinced to read this book.

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In a deeply researched and transporting exploration of the legacy of slavery and its imprint on centuries of American history, How the Word Is Passed illustrates how some of our country’s most essential stories are hidden in plain view-whether in places we might drive by on our way to work, holidays such as Juneteenth, or entire neighborhoods—like downtown Manhattan—on which the brutal history of the trade in enslaved men, women and children has been deeply imprinted.

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How the Word is Passed is one of the best books I have read this year and many prior ones. I encourage you to read it and share your comments.

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