Will You Marry Me?

Estimated reading time: 10 minutes, 16 seconds

The Plaza Hotel

Do you think I will be able to meet the dress code of the Plaza Hotel,” I asked Jan as she came out of the bathroom. Jan was wearing a lovely dress, and I had no doubts she would be presentable. I selected nice pants and a button-down shirt.  

You look great to me,” Jan said as she kissed me. “Can you help me zip up my dress?”

I started to say something but didn’t.

“I know you would prefer to unzip me, but we must leave now, or we will be very late.”

When we got on the D train, I reviewed that Charlotte was a member of the DNC, and she was in NY because they were holding a policy conference. 

It should be an enjoyable evening,” I stated as the D train crossed the Manhattan Bridge.

Walking into the lobby, Charlotte recognized us before I saw her. I introduced Jan and greeted her as she approached us. 

“It’s so nice to meet you, Jan,” she said. Jan said the same, and the two were chatting like old friends

My cousin then turned to me. “I’m not sure we can get into the dining room. They have a rule that men must wear coats and ties,” Charlotte explained. She went over to speak with the hostess. 

As she returned, she was shaking her head negatively. 

“There is a diner around the corner. Is that OK for the two of you?” my cousin asked.

Having no choice but to have Jan have dinner with Charlotte while I waited in the lobby, we both nodded yes. 

Diner on Central Park South

Tell me what the two of you are doing,” my cousin asked. Richard, I know a little about what you are doing from your parents, but I would love to know more.” I turned to Jan and said, why didn’t she go first? She smiled at me before she spoke.

I am starting work next month as an in-school drug counselor,” Jan explained. Like Richard, I was a VISTA Volunteer.”

In response to Charlotte’s questions, Jan provided biographical details.  

Charlotte, I have always seen the world as being broken and in need of repair,” Jan explained. Richard shares my view and the work I am doing now and will focus on repairing the world.

What is the Jewish word for that?” my cousin asked. 

Tikun Olam,” Jan said. I am Jewish,” she added.

Charlotte nodded affirmatively and then turned to me. 

I gave a quick overview of my work in Brooklyn and concurred with Jan about repairing the world. I mentioned my work on the Lowenstein campaign. He and McGovern carried our neighborhood with large margins,” I said. “If only…”

Charlotte smiled at me. 

While we dined on adequate food but not like the Plaza, Charlotte talked about the policy conference and how it could provide opportunities to help our work if they won the next national election. 

What we are debating are programs and policies that could save and improve lives in neighborhoods you work as well as people with addictions,” she said.

The waitress came over, cleared the plates, and asked if we wanted anything. Both of them asked for decaf coffee. As usual, I said no.

What are the two of you going to do?” my cousin asked as she looked at Jan and me. 

I reached over, held Jan’s hand, looked at her, and then turned to face Charlotte. 

“Jan and I are going to get married and continue to work to repair the world,” I announced. 

Charlotte was quiet for a second, smiled at us, and said, “I am so happy for both of you! Richard, does your family know?” 

I looked at Jan, who was still smiling and holding my hand. “No, we have not. Jan and I have never talked about getting married until now.

As I said, it dawned on me that Jan might not want to marry me. 

Did I mess up our relationship? What if she does not want to marry me? Will she break up with me as soon as we leave my cousin?


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14 comments add your comment

  1. These are lovely, Richard. Thank you for sharing. What a wonderful way to bring a smile to you and everyone.

    • Jodi, thank you so very much for sharing your comment on this post. I appreciate your friendship and support.

      My writings are from my heart and, in many ways, are an extended love letter to Jan. As I have described in other posts and comments, the words flow from me like an incoming tide at the Jersey shore.

      They fill pages and pages with memories that I then edit before sharing. Writing about Jan, Love, life, and grief helped me during this difficult time. Love never dies.

      I have always liked Viktor E. Frankl’s quote in Man’s Search for Meaning.

      For the first time in my life, I saw the truth as it is set into song by so many poets, proclaimed as the final wisdom by so many thinkers. The truth – that Love is the ultimate and highest goal to which man can aspire. Then I grasped the meaning of the greatest secret that human poetry and human thought and belief have to impart: The salvation of man is through Love and in Love.

      I hope to see you on April 24th to Celebrate Jan Day.

      Thanks so very much for reading this post. Please feel free to share this post and others.

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The Jan Lilien Education Fund!

I Have Some Questions for You:

Read: February 2023

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I Have Some Questions for You

by Rebecca Makkai

I Have Some Questions for You by Rebecca Makkai is a book that, from page one, pulled me into the story and made me believe I was embedded with Bodie Kane as she returned to her boarding school and worked with students to review the murder of her roommate twenty-three years ago. I Have Some Questions for You was more than a page-turner as I was an unnamed participant. I highly recommend this book and, as Ms. Makkai does, buy it at an independent bookstore.

I had not heard of the book until I read a review in The New Yorker by Katty Waldman, who writes, “The new book, a murder mystery set at an élite boarding school, is being marketed as an irresistible whodunnit. But it also joins a growing number of critiques of true crime.” Once I finished the review, I ordered the book and did not put it down until I finished the novel.

Do not “read this book if you”are looking for a whodunnit. It is a critique of true crime and an assessment of the “me too” era. How do we judge the past by the standards of the present?

Every book I have read since Jan died is one I wanted to discuss with her. But I Have Some Questions is one that would have been helpful for both of us to read simultaneously and share our thoughts. Jan’s work with the YWCA of Union County’s Domestic Violence program would have given her a unique perspective. But my lifetime efforts to free me from male blindness would have been a good counterpoint.

Please read this book, share it, and discuss it.

The Goodreads summary provides an overview,

A successful film professor and podcaster, Bodie Kane is content to forget her past—the family tragedy that marred her adolescence, her four largely miserable years at a New Hampshire boarding school, and her former roommate, Thalia Keith, in the spring of their senior year. Though the circumstances surrounding Thalia’s murder and the conviction of the school’s trainer, Omar Evans, are online, Bodie prefers—needs—to let sleeping dogs lie.

But when the Granby School invites her back to teach a course, Bodie is inexorably drawn to the case and its increasingly apparent flaws. As she falls down the rabbit hole she was so determined to avoid, Bodie begins to wonder if she wasn’t an outsider at Granby as she’d thought, perhaps, back in 1995, she knew something that might have held the key to solving the case. In their rush to convict Omar, did the school and the police overlook other suspects? Is the real killer still out there?

In I Have Some Questions for You, award-winning author Rebecca Makkai has crafted her most irresistible novel yet: a stirring investigation, timely, hypnotic, and populated with a cast of unforgettable characters, I Have Some Questions for You is at once a compulsive page-turner and a literary triumph.


The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

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Kairos

Read: June 2023

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Kairos by Jenny Erpenbeck

by Jenny Erpenbeck

I’ve recently delved into the captivating novel Kairos by Jenny Erpenbeck, which has left a lasting impression on me. The book tells the story of a young woman named Katharina who falls in love with a married writer named Hans, whom she met in East Berlin during the late 1980s. The historical context of Germany’s reunification is already an intriguing topic, but the addition of a love story made this book a must-read.

As their intense and complicated relationship plays out against the backdrop of a declining GDR, the novel offers a unique perspective on the tumultuous period following the country’s dissolution in 1989. Erpenbeck’s writing style is unmistakable, and her sweeping portrayal of the two lovers’ journey is truly remarkable. We witness Katharina’s growth as she tries to reconcile the reality of her lousy romance with the disappearance of an entire world and its ideologies.

The Times Literary Supplement has praised Erpenbeck’s ability to capture the weight of history and the influence of cultural and subjective memory on individual identity. Her work acknowledges the complexity of the human experience and the nuances of historical events.

Jenny Erpenbeck is an epic storyteller and a highly respected voice in contemporary German literature. Her translator, Michael Hofmann, has described Kairos as a great post-Unification novel, and his translation has been praised for being both faithful to the original text and beautifully written. I highly recommend this book to anyone seeking a thought-provoking and engaging read.


The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

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Exit Lane

Read: February 2026

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Exit Lane: A Novella

by Erika Veurink

Erika Veurink‘s debut novel, Exit Lane, is a deeply personal and engaging romance filled with humor, passion, and intense longing. It’s an ideal read for fans of “You Again,” “One Day,” and “People We Meet on Vacation.” After a road trip from Iowa City to New York City following their graduation, Teddy and Marin are ready to put their past behind them.

However, their lives continue to intersect over the next eight tumultuous years, marked by chance encounters and trips across the Atlantic. Ultimately, their journey leads them back to where it all began.


Erika Veurink is a writer, founder of EV Salon, and brand consultant who lives in Brooklyn by way of Iowa. She has an MFA from Bennington College and is a contributor to Vogue, New York Magazine, WSJ, and GQ. She writes the fashion newsletter, Long LiveExit Lane is her debut novella.



Discover your next favorite book and dive into a world of curated, exciting reads by purchasing through my links. You’ll have access to a diverse selection of books that I’ve personally vetted to ensure quality and enjoyment. Additionally, by supporting these selections, you’ll help me continue to provide you with more personalized recommendations. I earn a small commission from your purchase, which allows me to buy and share even more books with you. Your support truly makes a difference!


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Sea of Tranquility

Read: September 2022

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Sea of Tranquility

by Emily St. John Mandel

Sea of Tranquility by Emily St. John Mandel has been on my reading list for months. I recommend the book without reservations. Sea of Tranquility is a novel of art, time, love, and plague that takes the reader from Vancouver Island in 1912 to a dark colony on the moon three hundred years later, unfurling a story of humanity across centuries and space. It was a page-turner from page one.

With the delay of Artemis I, I have been thinking a lot about the Sea of Tranquility, the original lunar landing site. Sea of Tranquility reminded me of the days of my youth when we believed that NASA would colonize the moon as it is in the novel.

One of the passages that moved me was when Olive Llewellyn asked, “What if it always is the end of the world.” A second profound passage asks, “A life lived in a simulation is still a life.

The Goodreads summary provides a good overview,

Edwin St. Andrew is eighteen years old when he crosses the Atlantic by steamship, exiled from polite society following an ill-conceived diatribe at a dinner party. He enters the forest, spellbound by the beauty of the Canadian wilderness, and suddenly hears the notes of a violin echoing in an airship terminal—an experience that shocks him to his core.

Two centuries later a famous writer named Olive Llewellyn is on a book tour. She’s traveling all over Earth, but her home is the second moon colony, a place of white stone, spired towers, and artificial beauty. Within the text of Olive’s bestselling pandemic novel lies a strange passage: a man plays his violin for change in the echoing corridor of an airship terminal as the trees of a forest rise around him.

When Gaspery-Jacques Roberts, a detective in the Night City, is hired to investigate an anomaly in the North American wilderness, he uncovers a series of lives upended: The exiled son of an earl driven to madness, a writer trapped far from home as a pandemic ravages Earth, and a childhood friend from the Night City who, like Gaspery himself, has glimpsed the chance to do something extraordinary that will disrupt the timeline of the universe.


The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

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What Will People Think?

Read: June 2025

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What Will People Think?

by Sara Hamdan

If you’re in the mood for a book that’s equal parts hilarious and heartwarming, look no further than “What Will People Think?” by Sara Hamdan. This captivating tale takes readers on a journey of self-discovery, inviting them to explore the hidden facets of their identity. With its poignant exploration of love in all its many forms, the novel masterfully shows how these connections can truly transform us and inspire personal growth, leaving you inspired and uplifted.

Mia Almas, like many of us, has a secret. By day, she works as a media fact-checker—a role that her conservative Arab grandparents approve of. But by night, she performs at comedy clubs across New York City. Her grandparents’ approval is a significant part of her life, and it’s this conflict between their expectations and her true self that adds depth to her story.

As Mia pursues a forbidden romance with her boss, her standup gets better and bolder, leading to a surprising spotlight that exposes her secret gig. Horrified and worried that her rebellious act could mean significant consequences for her reserved Palestinian-American family, Mia frantically dives into damage control. However, all of her efforts to retreat from the spotlight reveal a family scandal from the 1940s that could alter everything, adding unexpected twists to her story.

As a hopeless romantic, I found this charming story to be an irresistible page-turner that will leave you both laughing and reflecting long after you’ve turned the last page.


Sara Hamdan, a Berkeley and Columbia graduate, is a former Merrill Lynch banker, New York Times journalist, and editor at Google. After winning a Netflix short story award, she received the First Chapter: Emirates Literature Foundation Seddiqi First Chapter Writers’ Fellowship for her debut novel, What Will People Think? Sara is Palestinian American, raised in Greece, and has called Dubai home for twenty years. When she’s not typing away on her laptop, she loves to spend time at the beach with her husband and two kids.



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Death Takes Me

Read: December 2025

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Death Takes Me: A Novel

by Cristina Rivera Garza

Originally written in Spanish by Cristina Rivera Garza, Death Takes Me is a thrilling masterpiece of literary fiction that turns the traditional crime narrative of gendered violence on its head. As sharp as the cuts on the bodies of the victims, the story unfolds with the dreamlike logic of a surreal experience, transitioning from the police station to a professor’s classroom and through the intricate worlds of Latin American poetry and art. It invites readers to explore the unstable terrains of desire and sexuality.

A city is always a cemetery.

In the narrative, a professor named Cristina Rivera Garza stumbles upon the corpse of a mutilated man in a dark alley and promptly reports it to the police. When shown a crime scene photo, she discovers a stark warning written in tiny print with coral nail polish on the brick wall beside the body: “Beware of me, my love / beware of the silent woman in the desert.”

The professor becomes the primary informant in the case, which is led by a detective who is newly obsessed with poetry and haunted by a list of past failures. But what has the professor truly witnessed? As more bodies of castrated men alongside lines of verse, the detective attempts to decipher the meaning of the poems in hopes of stopping the spreading violence throughout the city.


Cristina Rivera Garza is an acclaimed author known for works such as The Taiga Syndrome and The Iliac Crest. Her memoir, Liliana’s Invincible Summer, won the Pulitzer Prize and was a finalist for the National Book Award. She has received the MacArthur Fellowship and the Sor Juana Inés de la Cruz Prize. Currently, Rivera Garza holds the Hugh Roy and Lillie Cranz Cullen Distinguished Chair and serves as director of the PhD program in Creative Writing in Spanish at the University of Houston.

Sarah Booker is a teacher and a literary translator. Her translations include novels by Mónica Ojeda, Cristina Rivera Garza, and Gabriela Ponce. She is also an associate editor at Southwest Review.

Robin Myers is a poet and translator. Her translations encompass Andrés Neuman’s Bariloche, Claudia Peña Claros’s The Trees, Isabel Zapata’s In Vitro, Eliana Hernández-Pachón’s The Brush, and Cristina Rivera Garza’s The Restless Dead: Necrowriting and Disappropriation.



Discover your next favorite book and dive into a world of curated, exciting reads by purchasing through my links. You’ll have access to a diverse selection of books I’ve personally vetted for quality and enjoyment. Additionally, by supporting these selections, you’ll help me continue to provide you with more personalized recommendations. I earn a small commission from your purchase, which allows me to buy and share even more books with you. Your support truly makes a difference!


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