Cancer

One Day At a Time,
I Am Becoming the
Best Version of Myself

During a dinner in Philadelphia, the night before the Flower Show, my good friend Hugo noticed a significant change in me. He remarked that over the past three years, since the loss of my wife, Jan, I had changed. Intrigued, I asked him to elaborate. Hugo explained that during the first year after Jan’s death, I would break down in tears at any mention of her. But he had noticed my improvement since then, as I appeared more relaxed and content. I agreed, acknowledging the progress I had made. Then, with the wisdom of an old man, I said, “We often seek positive change in times of loss. To make it happen, we must be willing to become the change we desire.”

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“Dad?” The call from Samantha shocked me out of my semi-catatonic state. It had been over three decades since Samantha became my daughter after her parent’s sudden death and the will that designated me as her guardian. I was sitting on the loveseat holding my new iPhone in my hand as I had once held Samantha and, more recently, my granddaughter Janice. I let my mobile device fall onto my lap as I fully engaged with Samantha.

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Jan Surprises Me
But Love Never Dies

“Richard, there is a call for you on line three. It is your wife.” Hearing the voice from the other room caught my attention. In two months, Jan and I would celebrate four years together, and I had never gotten a call at work from her. When I had interviewed for this job at St. Nick’s, Jan had almost left me. Hopefully, she is not calling me to say she changed her mind. I stopped talking to my co-workers and walked to the closest phone.

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Chess Story

Read: April 2026

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Chess Story: A Novella

by Stefan Zweig

Chess Story,” also known as “The Royal Game,” is the final work of Austrian author Stefan Zweig. He completed it while in exile in Brazil and sent it to his American publisher just days before his suicide in 1942. This story is unique as it is the only one in which Zweig directly examines Nazism, portraying it through his characteristic focus on psychological themes.

The narrative follows travelers aboard a ship bound for Buenos Aires, where they encounter an arrogant, unfriendly world chess champion. Attempting to challenge him, they find themselves thoroughly defeated. However, a mysterious passenger steps forward to offer them advice, dramatically shifting their fortunes. The story delves into how this enigmatic figure acquired his extraordinary chess skills and the personal toll that it entailed.

This new translation of “Chess Story” highlights the work’s distinctive blend of high suspense and poignant reflection.


Stefan Zweig (1881–1942), novelist, biographer, poet, and translator, was born in Vienna into a wealthy Austrian Jewish family. During the 1930s, he was one of the best-selling writers in Europe and was among the most translated German-language writers before the Second World War. With the rise of Nazism, he moved from Salzburg to London (taking British citizenship), to New York, and finally to Brazil, where he committed suicide with his wife. New York Review Books has published Zweig’s novels The Post-Office Girl and Beware of Pity, as well as the novella Chess Story.

Peter Gay was Director of the Center for Scholars and Writers at the New York Public Library. He wrote Schnitzler’s Century: The Making of Middle-Class Culture, 1815–1914.



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20 Under 40

Read: January 2019

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20 Under 40 Fiction

by Various Writers Under 40

Short Stories that Will Define the Future of American Letters

The New Yorker’s collection of short stories – 20 Under 40 – is a collection of twenty writers “whose work will help define the future of American letters.”

Some of these I had read in The New Yorker and others I had missed. Either way, they were a pleasure to read.

As The New Yorker wrote,

The range of voices is extraordinary. There is the lyrical realism of Nell Freudenberger, Philipp Meyer, C. E. Morgan, and Salvatore Scibona; the satirical comedy of Joshua Ferris and Gary Shteyngart; and the genre-bending tales of Jonathan Safran Foer, Nicole Krauss, and Téa Obreht. David Bezmozgis and Dinaw Mengestu offer clear-eyed portraits of immigration and identity; Sarah Shun-lien Bynum, ZZ Packer, and Wells Tower offer voice-driven, idiosyncratic narratives. Then there are the haunting sociopolitical stories of Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, Daniel Alarcón, and Yiyun Li, and the metaphysical fantasies of Chris Adrian, Rivka Galchen, and Karen Russell.

Each of these writers reminds us why we read. And each is aiming for greatness: fighting to get and to hold our attention in a culture that is flooded with words, sounds, and pictures; fighting to surprise, to entertain, to teach, and to move not only us but generations of readers to come. A landmark collection, 20 Under 40 stands as a testament to the vitality of fiction today.

I recommend this collection of short stories.

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Crow Lake

Read: January 2022

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Crow Lake

by Mary Lawson

Crow Lake by Mary Lawson is set in northern Ontario’s rural “badlands.” The badlands are where heartbreak and hardship are mirrored in the landscape of the farming Pye family. Crow Lake is that rare find, a first novel so quietly assured, so emotionally pitch-perfect, you know from the opening page that this is the real thing – a literary experience in which to lose yourself, by an author of immense talent.

Crow Lake was a page-turner for me once I read the prologue.

Two families dominate the story.

On the one hand, it is the Greek tragedy of the Pye family. On their farm, “the sins of the fathers are visited on the sons, and terrible events occur—offstage.”

Kate Morrison has left her two brothers and sister at the lake to become a zoologist. The four siblings lost their parents and struggled to remain together. Their “tragedy looks more immediate if less brutal, but is, in reality, insidious and divisive.

As Goodreads describes the novel,

In this universal drama of family love and misunderstandings, of resentments harbored and driven underground, Lawson ratchets up the tension with heartbreaking humor and consummate control, continually overturning one’s expectations right to the very end. Tragic, funny, unforgettable, this deceptively simple masterpiece about the perils of hero worship leaped to the top of the bestseller lists only days after being released in Canada and earned glowing reviews in The New York Times and The Globe and Mail, to name a few.

I highly recommend this novel and am looking forward to reading more from Mary Lawson.

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Bonding

Read: July 2025

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Bonding: A Novel

by Mariel Franklin

Mariel Franklin‘s debut novel, “Bonding,” is electrifying, sharp, and darkly humorous. It delves into the intersections of sex, technology, and pharmaceuticals in our digitally-driven world. The protagonist, Mary, is weary from a constant cycle of casual relationships and unstable jobs. After facing yet another career setback, she decides to escape to Ibiza.

There, at a party, she meets Tom, a brilliant chemist on the verge of launching a drug made to cure the anxieties of modern life.

Back in London after a heady trip, Mary runs into her volatile and driven sort-of-ex Lara, who has channeled her ambitions into an innovative dating app designed to revolutionize the industry.

When Mary begins working for Lara and falling for Tom, tech and pharma collide with shocking consequences, forcing her to question what love and success mean in a world that is hurtling out of control. A searing, elegiac satire of the way we live and work, Mariel Franklin‘s perceptive and unnerving Bonding heralds the arrival of a blazing new talent.


Mariel Franklin lives and works in London. She has an MA in English from Edinburgh University and later went on to study fine art at Goldsmiths. After graduating, she spent several years working in data administration in the tech industry. Bonding is her first novel.



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Parable of the Talents

Read: January 2024

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Parable of the Talents

by Octavia E. Butler

This morning, I completed reading Octavia E. Butler‘s acclaimed post-apocalyptic novel Parable of the Sower and immediately started reading its sequel, Parable of the Talents, initially published in 1998. This second book is even more relevant today than it was back then. The novel’s timely message of hope and resistance in the face of fanaticism is shockingly prescient.

In 2032, Lauren Olamina survived the destruction of her home and family. She envisioned a peaceful community in Northern California, which she established based on her newly founded faith, Earthseed. This new settlement provides a haven for outcasts who face persecution following the election of an ultra-conservative president. The new president pledges to “make America great again,” but the country becomes increasingly divided and dangerous. Lauren’s subversive colony, a minority religious faction led by a young black woman, becomes a target for President Jarret’s oppressive regime characterized by terror and discrimination.

In the future, Asha Vere discovers the journals of her mother, Lauren Olamina, whom she never met. As she delves into her mother’s writings, she grapples with the conflict between Lauren’s responsibilities to her chosen family and her mission to guide humanity toward a brighter tomorrow.


The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

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Reluctantly Home

Read: June 2022

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Reluctantly Home

by Imogen Clark

Reluctantly Home by Imogen Clark is about dealing with the past—and finally facing the future-a topic that was appealing to me. Thirteen months into my grief journey, I live between a perfect past and an unknowable future. Will Reluctantly Home by Imogen Clark help me manage these two worlds?

Surprisingly it did. Unlike the two protagonists, I am mourning losing Jan, the love of my life. However, the neuromapping in my brain made it impossible to understand how to continue to love Jan and separate that from the time and space connections that made me believe she would return at any moment.

Reluctantly Home by Imogen Clark helped me understand that grief should and cannot define us forever. I recommend this book to all readers, not only those on a grief journey like mine.

The Goodreads summary provides an overview.

Pip Appleby seems to have it all, with her prestigious job as a human rights lawyer and her enviable London home. But then a tragic accident stops her life in its tracks, and everything changes instantly. Retreating to her family’s rural farm and the humble origins she has been trying to hide, Pip is haunted by what she has done.

When she discovers the diary of actress Evelyn Mountcastle in a box of old books, Pip revels in the opportunity to lose herself in someone else’s life rather than focus on the disaster that is her own. But soon, she sees parallels—Evelyn’s life was also beset by tragedy, and, like Pip, she returned to Southwold under a dark cloud.

When Pip and Evelyn’s paths cross in real life, they slowly begin to reveal the hidden stories holding them back. Can they help each other forgive what happened in the past and, perhaps, find happiness in the future?


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