Richard W. Brown June 4, 2022
Grief Tasks

The Best Grief Hacks (For Now)

Estimated reading time: 0 minutes, 54 seconds

Jan LilienI read David Brooks’s column on The Greatest Life Hacks in the World (for Now) and thought about the best grief hacks I have learned over the last year.

Two of Mr. Brooks’s lists resonated with me. I will add new ones in multiple threads.

Marriage is a 50-year conversation. Marry someone you want to talk with for the rest of your life. Jan and I fell in love during a conversation when we met. That conversation has not and will not end!

If you’ve lost your husband (or wife), sleep on his (or her) side of the bed, and it won’t feel so empty. I sleep on my side of the bed Sunday thru Wednesday and on Jan’s side the rest of the week. 

Grief hacks are how I ensure our love will never die!

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Grief Tasks
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One of Us

Read: March 2026

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One of Us: A Novel

by Elizabeth Day

“One of Us,” written by Elizabeth Day, delivers sharp commentary on the hypocrisies of the elite. This engaging ensemble drama explores the dynamics among old friends entangled in dazzling wealth, highlighting the delicate balance between personal ambition and collective responsibility. With its gripping narrative and insightful themes, “One of Us” is a page-turner that combines elements of “The Wedding People” and “Succession.” It’s darkly comic and incisive, yet it also carries an unexpected sense of hope.

When Fliss, the eccentric adult daughter of the powerful Fitzmaurice clan, is found dead on a beach in Bali, what appears to be a tragic accident raises more suspicions than it resolves for those who have long engaged in a web of favors within her family.

Ben, Fliss’s brother, is eager to downplay his sister’s death, as it becomes evident he is the next in line to become Prime Minister. Meanwhile, Martin—Ben’s former best friend—sees Fliss’s memorial as an opportunity to reinsert himself into the Fitzmaurice circle, motivated by a desire for both revenge and acceptance. He also observes that Ben’s wife, Serena, has come to realize in middle age that her privileged life resembles more of a gilded cage. Additionally, Ben and Serena’s daughter, Cosima, has become an environmental activist, opposing everything her parents represent—a change her late aunt would have wholeheartedly supported.

Richard Take, Ben’s disgraced colleague who is determined to make a comeback, adds another layer of complexity to the situation. Lastly, Andrew Jarvis, a figure entwined with the family, raises questions about his role: has he been their loyal supporter, or has he manipulated his influence to keep them all in line?

Elizabeth Day is the author of “The Party” “The Vaster Wilds“, and several other books, and one of the most influential podcasters today. Her show, “How to Fail“, has become a major success, helping authors like Meg Mason and Glennon Doyle reach the UK bestseller list. She splits her time between London and Los Angeles.

Discover your next favorite book and dive into a world of curated, exciting reads by purchasing through my links. You’ll have access to a diverse selection of books that I’ve personally vetted to ensure quality and enjoyment. Supporting these selections not only helps me continue providing you with personalized recommendations but also ensures you get access to meaningful stories that enrich your life. Your support truly makes a difference in helping me share more books and insights with you!

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Neverhome: A Novel

Read: November 2024

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Neverhome: A Novel

by Laird Hunt

Today, I began reading “Neverhome: A Novel” by Laird Hunt, a critically acclaimed work that has garnered praise for its unique storytelling. The protagonist introduces herself as Ash, which is not her real name. She is the devoted wife of a farmer, yet she has left her husband to enlist as a Union soldier during the Civil War. “Neverhome” narrates Ash Thompson’s harrowing journey as she faces the chaos of battle in the South.

Amidst scenes of bloodshed, hysteria, and heartbreak, Ash undergoes a profound transformation. She evolves from a devoted wife to a hero, a folk legend, a madwoman, and, to some, a traitor to the American cause. This complex journey of self-discovery adds depth to her character and makes her story all the more compelling.

Laird Hunt‘s captivating novel illuminates the adventurous women who chose to fight rather than remain behind. It also presents a compelling mystery: Why did Ash leave while her husband stayed? This enigma, shrouded in the fog of war, keeps us intrigued and eager to uncover the truth. What challenges must she overcome to return to her husband?

In beautifully crafted prose, Hunt‘s rebellious young heroine battles her way through history. Her emotional journey, filled with longing, fear, and determination, resonates with us as she strives to return to her husband and captures our hearts.

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August Lane: A Novel

Read: August 2025

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August Lane: A Novel

by Regina Black

“August Lane” by Regina Black is a captivating small-town romance that explores love, forgiveness, and the significance of Black women’s voices in country music. As the author of “The Art of Scandal,” Black brings her storytelling expertise to this narrative. Fans of “The Final Revival of Opal & Nev” by Dawnie Walton, which focuses on Black female empowerment, will find similar themes in “August Lane.”

Every Thursday night, former country music heartthrob Luke Randall has to sing “Another Love Song.” God, he hates that song. But performing his lone hit at an interstate motel lounge is the only regular money he still has. Following another lackluster performance at the rock bottom of his career, Luke receives the opportunity of his dreams, opening for his childhood idol–90’s era Black country music star, JoJo Lane, who’s being inducted into the Country Music Hall of Fame.

But the concert is in Arcadia, Arkansas, the small hometown he swore he’d never see again. Going back means facing a painful past of abuse and neglect. It also means facing JoJo’s daughter, August Lane — the woman who wrote the lyrics he’s always claimed as his own. This story holds personal significance for Regina Black, as it reflects her own experiences and struggles.

August also hates that song. But she hates Luke Randall even more. When he shows up ten years too late to apologize for his betrayal, she isn’t interested in making amends. Instead, she threatens to expose his lies unless he co-writes a new song with her and performs it at the concert, something she hopes will launch her out of her mother’s shadow and into a songwriting career of her own. Desperate to keep his secret, Luke agrees to put on the rogue performance, despite the risk of losing his shot at a new record deal.

When Luke’s guitar reunites with August’s soulful alto, neither can deny that the passionate bond they formed as teenagers is still there. As the concert nears, August will have to choose between an overdue public reckoning with the boy who betrayed her or trusting the man he’s become to write a different love song. This story is a testament to the transformative power of love and forgiveness, offering hope and optimism to all who read it.

Regina Black, a former civil litigator and current law school administrator, is a lifelong romance reader with a deep passion for the representation of Black women in popular culture. Her residence in Little Rock, Arkansas, with her husband and daughter, is a testament to her commitment to this cause.

When you purchase a book through one of my links, I earn a small commission that helps support my passion for reading. This contribution allows me to buy even more books to share with you, creating an incredible cycle of discovering great reads together! Your support truly makes a difference!

Enjoy a limited-time offer of 20% off your next book purchase at Bookshop.org!

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Trouble the Saints

Read: January 2022

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Trouble the Saints

by Alaya Dawn Johnson

Trouble the Saints by Alaya Dawn Johnson is one of NPR’s Books We Love from 2020. The dangerous magic of The Night Circus meets the powerful historical exploration of The Underground Railroad in this timely and unsettling novel, set against the darkly glamorous backdrop of New York City at the dawn of WWII. Amidst the whir of city life, a girl from Harlem is drawn into the glittering underworld of Manhattan, where she’s hired to use her knives to strike fear amongst its most dangerous denizens.

The book is written in three sections with different protagonists and voices. Phyllis, or Pea as her friends call her, is a black assassin for a white mob boss narrates the first section of the book. Her saint’s hands are the ability to use knives to commit murder. She can also pass as white as Phyllis, but she is a black woman from Harlem as Pea. The section she narrates is difficult at first to follow as she attempts to deal with the consequences of her actions. Can the past ever be the past?

Dev, Indian and Phyllis’s lover, narrates the second section. He is an undercover cop who protects her and helps her free herself from the mob boss. This section is located in the Hudson Valley and highlights the tensions before the war between whites and non-whites.

The third protagonist, Tamara, narrates this section. The war separates Phyllis and Dev. Phyllis is pregnant, and Dev and Tamara’s love interest are serving in the military. This section brings together the threads and reminds us that the past is never the past.

As Goodreads summarizes the book,

But the ghosts from her past are always by her side—and history has appeared on her doorstep to threaten the people she loves most.

Can one woman ever sacrifice enough to save an entire community?

Trouble the Saints is a dazzling, daring novel—a magical love story, a compelling chronicle of interracial tension, and an altogether brilliant and deeply American saga.

I recommend this book and encourage all readers to read it to the end.

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Sleep: A Novel

Read: May 2025

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Sleep: A Novel

by Honor Jones

“Sleep: A Novel” by Honor Jones captivates readers with its heartfelt narrative and deep insights into the human experience. This debut novel offers a genuine insight into the complex dynamics of motherhood and childhood, weaving together themes of love, secrets, and the vast array of possibilities that life can hold beyond silence.

Every parent exists in two families simultaneously: the one they were born into and the one they have created.

Ten-year-old Margaret, much like many of us, hides beneath a blackberry bush in her family’s lush backyard while her brother searches for her in a game of flashlight tag. Her childhood is filled with sunlit swimming pools, Saturday morning pancakes, and a devoted best friend. However, her family life requires careful navigation. Her mother can be as brittle and demanding as she is loving, while her father and brother embody familiar, if uncomfortable, models of masculinity. Then, late one summer, everything changes. After a series of confusing events, the simple joys of girlhood begin to fade away.

Twenty-five years later, Margaret hides under her parents’ bed, waiting for her young daughters to find her in a game of hide and seek. Newly divorced, she is learning to navigate her life as a co-parent while also discovering the pleasures of a new relationship. Yet part of her remains under the blackberry bush, frozen in time. As she strives to be a mother to her daughters and a daughter to her mother, she must confront the echoes and reflections of her past in light of her present. She grapples with what it means to keep a child safe and how much of our lives we experience in solitude.

Jones presents these emotional cycles with generosity and unflinching honesty, making the novel a compelling read that resonates on multiple levels.

Honor Jones, a senior editor at The Atlantic and formerly at The New York Times, brings her wealth of experience and insight to this novel. She lives in Brooklyn with her three children, a life experience that undoubtedly enriches her storytelling.

When you purchase a book through one of my links, I earn a small commission that helps support my passion for reading. This contribution allows me to buy even more books to share with you, creating an incredible cycle of discovering great reads together! Your support truly makes a difference!

Don’t miss out on this exciting opportunity! Enjoy a limited-time offer of 20% off your next book purchase at Bookshop.org! It’s the perfect chance to add this compelling novel to your collection.

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The God of the Woods: A Novel

Read: July 2024

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The God of the Woods: A Novel

by Liz Moore

I started reading “The God of the Woods: A Novel” by Liz Moore today. Several reviews recommended it as a great summer read. The story is set in August 1975, the same month and year my spouse Jan and I married. Liz Moore weaves a multi-threaded story, inviting readers into a rich and gripping dynasty of secrets and second chances.

The novel begins with a camp counselor discovering an empty bunk at an Adirondack summer camp belonging to thirteen-year-old Barbara Van Laar, who has mysteriously vanished. Barbara is not just any teenager; she is the daughter of the family that owns the camp and employs many residents. What makes this disappearance even more intriguing is that Barbara’s older brother went missing similarly fourteen years ago and was never found.

As the search for Barbara begins, the novel unfolds into a thrilling drama, delving into the deeply buried secrets of the Van Laar family and the blue-collar community working in its shadow. This novel is said to be Liz Moore’s most ambitious and wide-reaching work yet.

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