My random thoughts on Jan, love, grief, life, and all things considered.
Today, my grief feels like I am not only sailing in calm waters but am beginning to give back to help others who have helped me. Today I was the facilitator of the Saturday Grief Group that Soaring Spirits stopped hosting a week ago. We had 35 participants in the room.
Writing has helped me grapple with the loss of my wife. Without it, I might not have been able to leave the Island of Grief and begin my journey back to the Land of Love.
When Jan passed away, I did not immediately have trouble sleeping. I’m unsure why this occurred, as I have always had trouble sleeping.
A month after she passed, I entered a period of chronic insomnia.
Last night, under the twinkling stars and surrounded by the lush greenery of her parents’ Long Island home, Mike and Elyssa exchanged their vows and became husband and wife. Despite the long drive to and from the venue, the wedding was gorgeous, and witnessing the beginning of this new chapter in their lives was heartwarming. Some of my friends who have also lost their spouses were worried about me attending the wedding, fearing it might be too emotional for me. I assured them that I was there not as a widow but as a proud father celebrating my son’s special day. Continue reading →
Last week I walked 105.62 miles. Not sure if this is anything to celebrate on Independence Day! My doctor is happy I am walking more. Not sure if she would approve of a hundred miles in a week. In my opinion, two-thirds of the miles are for therapy, and the balance for exercise.
This is the daily mileage count:
Our wedding rings are straightforward gold bands with overlapping hearts; many people do not consider them wedding symbols.
This morning, she passed away. Someone in the family and the Visiting Nurse asked if I wanted the ring back, and I said no. I called Rabbi Renee to ensure that there was no reason she could not keep her wedding ring, and she said there was no reason she could not keep it.
Jan is still wearing her wedding ring, and I also wear mine every day.
Every one of Jan’s kisses was memorable and sweet. Jan has been home for hospice care since April 10th. This morning, I went downstairs to have breakfast, and I walked over to the hospital bed and leaned over to kiss her forehead.
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by Jesmyn Ward
Today, I started reading Let Us Descend: A Novel by Jesmyn Ward. She is a two-time National Book Award winner, the youngest winner of the Library of Congress Prize for American Fiction, and a MacArthur Fellow. The book is a haunting masterpiece that is sure to become an instant classic. It tells the story of an enslaved girl in the years before the Civil War.
The book’s title is from Dante Alighieri’s Inferno: “‘Let us descend,’ the poet now began, ‘and enter this blind world.” Let Us Descend is a reimagining of American slavery, beautifully rendered yet heart-wrenching. The novel takes us on a journey from the rice fields of the Carolinas to the slave markets of New Orleans and into the fearsome heart of a Louisiana sugar plantation.
Annis is the reader’s guide through this hellscape, sold south by the white enslaver who fathered her. As Annis struggles through the miles-long march, she turns inward, seeking comfort from memories of her mother and stories of her African warrior grandmother. Throughout the journey, she opens herself to a world beyond this world, one teeming with spirits: of earth and water, of myth and history, spirits who nurture and give, and those who manipulate and take. While Ward leads readers through the descent, this, her fourth novel, is ultimately a story of rebirth and reclamation.
Let Us Descend is a magnificent novel that inscribes Black American grief and joy in the very land of the American South. Ward’s writing takes you through the rich but unforgiving forests, swamps, and rivers of the South, making this novel a masterwork for the ages.
The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.
I receive a commission when you buy a book or product using a link on this page. Thank you for supporting Sharing Jan’s Love blog.
by Sunjeev Sahota
Today, I started reading The Spoiled Heart: A Novel by Sunjeev Sahota. Nayan Olak has been seeing Helen Fletcher around town. She has returned to live in the run-down house at the end of the lane with her teenage son. Though she seems guarded, Nayan cannot help but be drawn to her. He has not risked love since losing his young family in a terrible accident twenty years ago.
After Nayan’s tragedy, his labor union, a pillar of his community, became his refuge and purpose. It was his way of striving for a better and fairer world. Now, Nayan wants to become the leader of the union, a decision that sets the stage for a gripping conflict. His opponent, Megha, a newcomer, is a more formidable challenger than he could have anticipated. Nayan is now in a battle that could redefine his life and community. The differences between Nayan and Megha escalate and threaten the ideals he holds dear. He finds solace in his growing bond with Helen. Unbeknownst to him, their connection is not just a product of their present circumstances but a thread that weaves through their lives, holding secrets that could shatter them. The suspense builds, leaving the readers on the edge of their seats and eager to uncover the truth.
In one sense, The Spoiled Heart is a tragedy in the classic mold, tracing one man’s seemingly inevitable fall. However, it is also an explosively contemporary story of how a few words or a single action, which may appear careless to one person, can be charged for another, triggering a cascade of unimaginable consequences. It is a blazing achievement from one of Britain’s foremost living writers, a vivid and multilayered exploration of the mysteries of the heart, how community is forged and broken, and the shattering impact of secrets and assumptions alike.
by Paul Murray
I began reading “The Bee Sting: A Novel” by Paul Murray today, the seventy-fifth book I have read this year, one more than last year. This exuberantly entertaining novel is a tour de force that portrays post-crash Ireland, a tragicomic family saga, and a dazzling story about the struggle to be good at the end of the world.
The Barnes family is in trouble, with Dickie’s once-lucrative car business going under. However, Dickie is spending his days in the woods, building an apocalypse-proof bunker with a renegade handyperson. His wife, Imelda, sells off her jewelry on eBay while trying to avoid the attention of fast-talking cattle farmer Big Mike. Meanwhile, their teenage daughter, Cass, formerly top of her class, seems determined to binge drink through her final exams. As for twelve-year-old PJ, he’s on the brink of running away.
If you were to change this story, how far back would you have to go? To the infamous bee sting that ruined Imelda’s wedding day? To the car crash one year before Cass was born? Or back to Dickie at ten years old, standing in the summer garden with his father, learning how to be a real man?
The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.
I receive a commission when you buy a book or product using a link on this page. Thank you for supporting Sharing Jan’s Love blog.
by Monica Wood
I started reading Monica Wood‘s “How to Read a Book: A Novel” today. It’s a heartfelt and uplifting story about a chance encounter at a bookstore—the novel delves into themes of redemption, unlikely friendships, and the life-changing power of sharing stories. With Monica Wood’s characteristic heart, wit, grace, and understanding, the novel illuminates the decisions that shape a life and the kindnesses that make life meaningful.
The story revolves around three characters: Violet Powell, a twenty-two-year-old from rural Abbott Falls, Maine, who is being released from prison after serving twenty-two months for a drunk-driving crash that killed a local kindergarten teacher; Harriet Larson, a retired English teacher who runs the prison book club and is facing the prospect of an empty nest; and Frank Daigle, a retired machinist who is struggling to come to terms with the complexities of his marriage to the woman Violet killed.
Their lives unexpectedly intersect one morning in a bookstore in Portland, Maine. Violet buys the novel she read in the prison book club before her release, Harriet selects the following title for the remaining women, and Frank fulfills his duties as the store handyman. Their encounters set off a chain of events that will profoundly change them.
How to Read a Book“ is a candid and hopeful story about releasing guilt, embracing second chances, and the profound impact of books on our lives.
by Alice Hoffman
The Bookstore Sisters: A Short Story by Alice Hoffman is a heartfelt short story about family, independence, and finding your place in the world. The overview should be enough to encourage everyone to read the book. I recommend this short story without any reservations. Ms. Hoffman has written a moving story that helped me to grapple with grief and reminded me that love is the highest and most important goal that humans can aspire.
Isabel Gibson has all but perfected the art of forgetting. She’s a New Yorker now, with nothing left to tie her to Brinkley’s Island, Maine. Her parents are gone, the family bookstore is all but bankrupt, and her sister, Sophie, will probably never speak to her again.
But when a mysterious letter arrives in her mailbox, Isabel feels drawn to the past. After years of fighting for her independence, she dreads the thought of going back to the island. What she finds there may forever alter her path—and change everything she thought she knew about her family, home, and herself.
Isabel sums up the power of love in this paragraph,
She was thinking about the way a fish loved a river, and a bird loved the sky, and a mother loved her daughters. She was remembering everything. How love could change a person, how it could cause you the greatest sorrow or shelter you from harm. There were moths hitting against the windowpanes. A night heron called in the marshland as if its heart were breaking.
I have always fantasized about working in or owning a small bookstore.
The Bookstore Sisters: A Short Story rekindled that dream and reminded me of the power of love.
The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.
I receive a commission when you buy a book or product using a link on this page. Thank you for supporting Sharing Jan’sJan’s Love blog.
by Various Writers Under 40
The New Yorker’s collection of short stories – 20 Under 40 – is a collection of twenty writers “whose work will help define the future of American letters.”
Some of these I had read in The New Yorker and others I had missed. Either way, they were a pleasure to read.
As The New Yorker wrote,
The range of voices is extraordinary. There is the lyrical realism of Nell Freudenberger, Philipp Meyer, C. E. Morgan, and Salvatore Scibona; the satirical comedy of Joshua Ferris and Gary Shteyngart; and the genre-bending tales of Jonathan Safran Foer, Nicole Krauss, and Téa Obreht. David Bezmozgis and Dinaw Mengestu offer clear-eyed portraits of immigration and identity; Sarah Shun-lien Bynum, ZZ Packer, and Wells Tower offer voice-driven, idiosyncratic narratives. Then there are the haunting sociopolitical stories of Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, Daniel Alarcón, and Yiyun Li, and the metaphysical fantasies of Chris Adrian, Rivka Galchen, and Karen Russell.
Each of these writers reminds us why we read. And each is aiming for greatness: fighting to get and to hold our attention in a culture that is flooded with words, sounds, and pictures; fighting to surprise, to entertain, to teach, and to move not only us but generations of readers to come. A landmark collection, 20 Under 40 stands as a testament to the vitality of fiction today.
I recommend this collection of short stories.
