Grief in the Rear View Mirror
Estimated reading time: 1 minute, 18 seconds
I miss Jan every moment of the day.
However, I am no longer in grief.
I have wanted to shout that from the mountain or rooftop, but I have no access to either option.
Jan’s diagnosis of Lymphoma to her death was twenty months.
I have traveled almost as long since she died as I did being her caregiver.
The grief journey was long and arduous. I arrived at the end of that journey and found multiple exit ramps.
When we remember those we have lost, one of our readings at Temple Sha’arey Shalom summarizes my chosen pathway.
We do our best homage to our dead when we live our lives more fully, even in the shadow of our loss.
I will be grateful to Jan for her love and support as long as I live.
Grief may be behind me, but I will shed enough tears for the rest of my life to fill the Great Lakes.
I also know she will be with me during my next life phase.
Our love will never die!
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As I pray every week at Temple Sha'arey Shalom, when we remember those we lost in this passage, one of our readings is: "Grief is a great teacher when it sends us back to serve and bless the living. We learn how to counsel and comfort those who, like ourselves, are bowed with sorrow. We learn when to keep silent in their presence and when a word will assure them of our love and concern."
Complete Text of the Prayer
Estimated reading time: 1 minute, 18 secondsIT IS HARD to sing of oneness when the world is not complete, when those who once brought wholeness to our life have gone, and naught but memory can fill the emptiness their passing leaves behind.
But memory can tell us only what we were, in company with those we loved; it cannot help us find what each of us, alone, must now become.
Yet no one is really alone:
those who live no more, echo still within our thoughts and words, and what they did is part of what we have become.
We do best homage to our dead when we live our lives more fully, even in the shadow of our loss.
For each of our lives is worth the life of the whole world; in each one is the breath of the Ultimate One.
In affirming the One, we affirm the worth of each one whose life, now ended, brought us closer to the Source of life, in whose unity no one is alone and every life finds purpose.
IT IS HARD to sing of oneness when the world is not complete, when those who once brought wholeness to our life have gone, and naught but memory can fill the emptiness their passing leaves behind.
But memory can tell us only what we were, in company with those we loved; it cannot help us find what each of us, alone, must now become.
Yet no one is really alone:
those who live no more, echo still within our thoughts and words, and what they did is part of what we have become.
We do best homage to our dead when we live our lives more fully, even in the shadow of our loss.
For each of our lives is worth the life of the whole world; in each one is the breath of the Ultimate One.
In affirming the One, we affirm the worth of each one whose life, now ended, brought us closer to the Source of life, in whose unity no one is alone and every life finds purpose.
