About Richard W. Brown

After almost 48 years, I recently lost my wife, Jan Lilien. Like The Little Prince, Jan and I believed that “The most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or touched, they are felt with the heart.” This blog is a collection of my random thoughts on love, grief, life, and all things considered.

Love Never Dies; It Lasts Forever

“I don’t want to die,” Jan said as tears flowed down her face. I reached out to hug her and kiss her. I struggled to find words that would reassure her and calm her nerves. Speech evaded me, so I hugged her more firmly and whispered, “I love you, Jan!” These were the only words I knew that might soothe her anxiety. 

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Who Proposed to Whom?

“Hello, my love! I just spoke with my Cousin Charlotte, and she will be in NY on July 17th,” I almost shouted into the phone. The phone rang six times before Jan answered. I was almost afraid she was not home. Finally, she picked up the receiver, and I could feel her smile radiate thru the phone line. “Charlotte wants to meet for dinner. I told her I would only go if you could come with me!”

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Jan Makes First Commitment
Despite Her Friends’ Concerns

“Yes, I knew Richard was the one the moment we met,” Jan said in response to a question from our dinner guests about how we fell in love. We had explained the basic details of how we met at a party at her apartment in Inwood. “When I got home on Monday, the first thing I did was make two phone calls. I had been dating two guys, and I did not see any reason to continue to see them after I met Richard.” 

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The Poppy Fields

Read: June 2025

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The Poppy Fields

by Nikki Erlick

The Poppy Fields by Nikki Erlick is a unique and thought-provoking speculative novel that delves into themes of heartache, hope, and resilience. It explores the complexities of grief and healing, raising essential questions about recovery after loss and the lengths we go to in search of healing. This powerful exploration resonated with me and provided ample food for thought. I’d love to hear your thoughts on it!

The Poppy Fields is a captivating speculative story that explores themes of healing, self-discovery, forgiveness, and the power of newfound friendship. Located in a remote stretch of the California desert, the Poppy Fields offers hope for even the most battered hearts seeking to heal. Nikki Erlick‘s unique narrative technique adds an extra layer of intrigue to the story.

This area is home to an experimental and controversial treatment center designed for those grappling with the heartache of loss. It offers a unique solution, allowing patients to sleep through their pain and continue sleeping. However, when they eventually awaken from this prolonged state of slumber, they will be healed, provided they are willing to accept the possible shadowy side effects, raising concerns about the actual cost of healing.

Embarking on a journey to this mystical destination are four very different strangers and one little dog: Ava, a book illustrator; Ray, a fireman; Sasha, an occupational therapist; and Sky, a free spirit, accompanied by a friendly pup named PJ. Their diverse backgrounds and mysterious motivations add an intriguing layer to their quest to find Ellis, the brilliant and enigmatic founder of The Poppy Fields.


Nikki Erlick is the author of the instant New York Times bestseller, The Measure, which was selected as a Read with Jenna/Today Show book club pick. The Measure has been translated into twenty-four languages worldwide. She holds a bachelor’s degree from Harvard University and a master’s degree from Columbia University. Currently, she resides in Los Angeles.



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What's Mine and Yours

Read: February 2022

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What’s Mine and Yours

by Naima Coster

What’s Mine and Yours by Naima Coster is one of the best books I have read in the last few years. At this moment in my life, family means more than ever. This book explores how families can collapse and find ways to reunite. Although my life circumstances are the polar opposite of the protagonists, the book’s central themes resonated with me.

The focus on integration in this Millenium is a subject that needs to be discussed openly and honestly. The racist response of some of the parents is told in a way that clarifies the pain that that can cause.

Even the parents who favor integration have their flaws, which are passed on to their children.

The children, especially Noelle and Gee, oppose their parent’s actions. The sins of their parents are sowed upon them as well.

I have placed this book on my list of novels for reading later this year or n 2023. Its themes are so strong that a second reading is required to engage with its multiple levels fully.

This is a Goodreads summary.

A community in the Piedmont of North Carolina rises in outrage as a county initiative draws students from the primarily Black east side of town into predominantly white high schools on the west. For two students, Gee and Noelle, the integration sets off a chain of events that will tie their two families together in unexpected ways over the next twenty years.

The debate is Jade, Gee’s steely, ambitious mother, on one side of the integration. In the aftermath of a severe loss, she is determined to give her son the tools he’ll need to survive in America as a sensitive, anxious, young Black man. On the other side is Noelle’s headstrong mother, Lacey May, a white woman who refuses to see her half-Latina daughters as anything but white. She strives to protect them as she couldn’t protect herself from the influence of their charming but unreliable father, Robbie.

When Gee and Noelle join the school play meant to bridge the divide between new and old students, their paths collide, and their two seemingly disconnected families begin to form deeply knotted, messy ties that will shape the trajectory of their adult lives. And their mothers-each determined to see her child inherit a better life-will make choices that will haunt them for decades to come.

As love is built and lost, and the past never too far behind, What’s Mine and Yours is an expansive, vibrant tapestry that moves between the years, from the foothills of North Carolina to Atlanta, Los Angeles, and Paris. It explores every family’s unique organism: what breaks them apart and how they come back together.

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Thirst Trap

Read: November 2025

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Thirst Trap: A Novel

by Gráinne O'Hare

Filled with heart and humor, Thirst Trap by Gráinne O’Hare is a lively celebration of friendship, embracing uncertainty, and indulging in “just one more round” before heading home. This sharply funny novel explores the challenges of being in your late 20s as you approach 30, questioning when you will tire of morning hangovers, dead-end entry-level jobs, and late nights at bars. This friend group is about to discover the answer.

Sometimes friends hold you together.
Sometimes they’re why you’re falling apart.

Harley, Róise, and Maggie have been friends for a long time. They met in primary school years ago, and they are still together, spending their nights on the sticky dance floors of Belfast’s grungiest pubs. Each woman is navigating her own challenges—entry-level jobs, messy romantic entanglements, and late nights—but they always find their way back to each other and to the ramshackle house they share. Amidst the familiar chaos, the three are still grieving their fourth housemate, whose room remains untouched, with the weight of their last big fight lingering heavily over them.

The girls’ house has witnessed the highs and lows of their roaring twenties—raucous parties, surprising (and sometimes regrettable) hook-ups, and hellish hangovers. However, as they approach thirty, their home begins to crumble around them, and the cracks in their friendship become harder to ignore. In the midst of the wreckage, they must decide whether their friendship will survive into a new decade or if growing up sometimes means letting go.


Gráinne O’Hare is a writer from Belfast based in Newcastle upon Tyne. She received a Northern Debut Award for Fiction from New Writing North and was awarded funding by the Arts Council for the development and completion of her first novel. She has also been shortlisted for the Francis MacManus Short Story Competition and the Bridport Prize, and came in the top three of the Benedict Kiely Short Story Competition.

She is a media sub-editor for Criticks reviews of the British Society for Eighteenth-Century Studies and holds a PhD in eighteenth-century women’s life-writing from Newcastle University.



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A Far-flung Life

Read: March 2026

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A Far-flung Life

by M.L. Stedman

When we experience something irreversible or unfixable, how do we continue living? How do we find our guiding star in the absence of clear answers? These questions lie at the heart of M. L. Stedman‘s unforgettable new novel, A Far-flung Life. From the acclaimed author of the beloved bestseller The Light Between Oceans, this sweeping epic explores a family, a tragedy, and the repercussions that echo for decades.

Set in remote Western Australia in 1958, the MacBride family has lived for generations on a vast sheep station called Meredith Downs, which spans a million acres of arid landscape. On an ordinary day, as patriarch Phil MacBride drives down a lonely road under the endless blue sky, he swerves to avoid a kangaroo. In that instant, it shatters the lives of the entire MacBride family. Tragedy strikes again when the consequences of this moment claim the life of one sibling and lead another to sacrifice everything for the well-being of an innocent child. Matt, the youngest MacBride, embarks on a moral and emotional journey for which there is neither a map nor a guide. The secrets at the core of this heartbreaking and beautiful story compel him to choose between love and duty, sacrifice and happiness.

A Far-flung Life is a tale of family and belonging, fate and time. It depicts individuals striving to do their best while each, for their own reasons, seeks shelter from life’s storms.

Can a fleeting moment unravel a life, marking it permanently and irrevocably? Can compassion, resilience, and forgiveness help us come to terms with our human imperfections? These are the profound questions Stedman explores in A Far-flung Life, her moving, uplifting, and luminous novel about the endurance of the heart for love’s sake.


M.L. Stedman was born and raised in Western Australia and now lives in London. The Light Between Oceans was her first novel. A Far-flung Life is her second novel.



Discover your next favorite book and dive into a world of curated, exciting reads by purchasing through my links. You’ll have access to a diverse selection of books I’ve personally vetted for quality and enjoyment. Supporting these selections not only helps me continue to provide you with personalized recommendations but also ensures you have access to meaningful stories that enrich your life. Your support truly makes a difference in helping me share more books and insights with you!


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Memorial Days: A Memoi

Read: March 2025

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Memorial Days: A Memoir

by Geraldine Brooks

Today, I started reading “Memorial Days: A Memoir” by Geraldine Brooks, the bestselling Pulitzer Prize-winning author of Horse”. In this poignant and beautifully written memoir, she explores sudden loss and the journey toward healing. Why do I choose to read novels and memoirs about loss and grief? Perhaps it’s because, as Martín Prechtel wrote in his book The Smell of Rain on Dust”, “Grief is praise because it is the natural way love honors what it misses.”

Many cultural and religious traditions expect grieving people to withdraw from the world. In modern life, we frequently encounter bureaucratic obstacles and lengthy to-do lists. This is precisely what happened to Geraldine Brooks when her partner of more than thirty years, Tony Horwitz—just sixty years old and, to her knowledge, vigorous and healthy—collapsed and died on a sidewalk in Washington, D.C.

After spending their early years together in conflict zones as foreign correspondents, Geraldine and Tony settled down to raise two sons on Martha’s Vineyard. They lived a fulfilling life filled with meaningful work, good humor, and tenderness. Geraldine and Tony spent their days writing and evenings cooking family dinners or enjoying sunsets with friends at the beach. Their peaceful existence abruptly ended on Memorial Day 2019 when Geraldine received the dreaded phone call we all fear. The demands of life became immediate and overwhelming, leaving little room for grief. The sudden loss created a profound void in their lives.

Three years later, she booked a flight to a remote island off the coast of Australia to give herself the time to mourn finally. She often spent days alone in a shack on the pristine, rugged coast without seeing another person. It was a space for her to reflect on the various ways cultures grieve and consider which rituals might help her rebuild her life in the wake of Tony’s death.

Memorial Days,” a spare and profoundly moving memoir, portrays a larger-than-life man and the timeless love between two souls. It exquisitely captures the joy, agony, and mystery of life.


Geraldine Brooks is the author of six novels, including “Horse,” “People of the Book,” “Year of Wonders,” and the Pulitzer Prize-winning “March.” She has also written acclaimed nonfiction works, including “Nine Parts of Desire” and “Foreign Correspondence.” Her books have been translated into more than thirty languages and have sold millions of copies worldwide. Born and raised in Australia, Brooks now divides her time between Sydney and Martha’s Vineyard.


My journey through grief has significantly helped me grow as a person by focusing on conscientious resilience. I make it a point to read and walk daily, engage in worship, and actively participate as a volunteer and a good neighbor in my community. Fourteen hundred days ago, I wasn’t sure if I could continue living or how to move forward. However, by concentrating on strengthening my resilience, I now lead a life filled with meaning and purpose. I choose to look back not on what I lost but on what I have gained.

As my friend Danny said nearly a year ago, “You are an incredible person! You are a new person! A better person! Although Jan is not here physically, she has done so much for you!

My Rabbi, Rav Uri, echoed similar sentiments during his remarks when I received the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Distinguished Service Award. If their beliefs are true, much of my progress directly results from my conscientious resilience!



When you purchase a book through one of my links, I earn a small commission that helps support my passion for reading. This contribution allows me to buy even more books to share with you, creating an incredible cycle of discovering great reads together! Your support truly makes a difference!


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Everything My Mother Taught Me

Read: December 2022

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Everything My Mother Taught Me

by Alice Hoffman

I read Everything My Mother Taught Me by Alice Hoffman on the last day of 2022 as I was alone, and I have always admired Ms. Hoffman’s prose. The short story is a haunting short story of loyalty and betrayal, a young woman in early 1900s Massachusetts discovers that in navigating her treacherous coming-of-age, she must find her voice first. I know it is a book that Jan would have enjoyed reading, and I highly recommend it.

Alice Hoffman’s Everything My Mother Taught Me is part of Inheritance’s five stories about secrets, unspoken desires, and dangerous revelations between loved ones. Each piece can be read or listened to in a single setting. By yourself, behind closed doors, or shared with someone you trust. I plan to read more of this series in 2023.

The Goodreads summary provides an overview.

New York Times bestselling author of The Rules of Magic Alice Hoffman crafts a beautiful, heart-wrenching short story. For fatefully observant, Adeline, growing up, carries an ominous warning from her adulterous mother: don’t say a word. Adeline vows never to speak again. Her only secret. After her mother takes a housekeeping job at a  But that’s not lighthouse off the tip of Cape Ann, a local woman vanishes. The key to the mystery lies with Adeline, the silent witness.


The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

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