Walking is Vital to My Conscientious Resilience!
Estimated reading time: 16 minutes, 47 seconds
Mind Wandering
For as long as I can remember, to-do lists have guided me through the whirlwind of daily life. Each morning, I would pause to ask myself, “What are my must-dos for today?” or “What essentials do I need from the grocery store?” I took immense pride in my knack for meeting deadlines—after all, there’s something satisfying about ticking off tasks individually.
Yet, as I navigated this structured chaos, I couldn’t shake the feeling that there had to be a more invigorating way to approach my responsibilities. Could there be a method that fuels my creativity while still keeping me organized? The thought intrigued me, opening the door to new possibilities.
Friedrich Nietzsche believed “only ideas won by walking have any value.” Although I often thought this proverb sounded perfect, I would arrive home with my mind clouded by random thoughts. Now, walking clears my mind, allowing me to focus on ideas rather than tasks. When I received the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Distinguished Service Award, I didn’t write my acceptance speech with a pen or at a keyboard; instead, I composed it during my walks.
In the early days following my loss, tears often blurred my vision, making it hard to see the path ahead. However, as I walked, I began to gain confidence—not just in my ability to avoid stumbling but also in my capacity to envision a life filled with meaning and purpose after my loss. During some of those initial walks, it became clear to me that my wife wouldn’t have wanted me to grieve endlessly or to cry indefinitely. In our final conversation, she urged me to choose life and to remain open to love. Yet, like many widows, I felt overwhelmed and struggled to grasp her message after her funeral, especially while sitting alone at home.
Through these mind-wandering walks, my to-do lists transformed into manageable tasks. I started to sense that life, love, and happiness could flourish, even after experiencing loss. While these joys may not come with guarantees, they are worth pursuing. Little by little, I realized I hold the reins to my destiny.
For my birthday in 2023, my family gifted me a book that combined my interests: walking and reading. The book “In Praise of Walking” by Shane O’Mara celebrates the joys, health benefits, and mechanics of walking. It emphasizes the importance of getting out of our chairs to discover a happier, healthier, and more creative version of ourselves.
One of the most significant insights I gained from this book is that walking encourages mind wandering. It allows us to focus on our autobiographical memories rather than our immediate surroundings.
This realization helped me accept and appreciate Jan’s love and encouraged me to embrace her passion. Overall, “In Praise of Walking” has inspired me to embrace the freedom of letting my mind wander as I walk. I am a dreamer on two feet, dedicated to mending a fractured world so we can one day coexist in peace, love, and harmony.
After almost 48 years, I recently lost my wife, Jan Lilien. Like The Little Prince, Jan and I believed that “The most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or touched, they are felt with the heart.” This blog is a collection of my random thoughts on love, grief, life, and all things considered.
As you know, I am walking because of you. I am currently at day 55 of 100. Once I reach day 75, I plan to change my goal to walk 150 days.
I am excited by that goal because when I arrive at 150 days, I will have walked 10% of the days that you will have walked and it will be my one chance to have such alignment. I am excited!
So, why am I walking? I am walking because having a concrete goal of walking 100 days gives me reason not to quit. I am guessing that you start your walk each day for a similar reason. It gives you a reason not to quit, to keep going.
Once I begin my walk the reasons change and are different from day to day. However, the sense of accomplishment of having “walked today” is always there and my guess is that you likely walk for those endorphins too.
Thank you for inspiring me!
-Mark-
Mark, I want to express my gratitude for your friendship and support. It will be an honor to celebrate when you reach 150 days, and I’m currently at 1,410 days and counting.
I walk to enjoy the endorphins, but like you, each day I walk gives me one more reason not to quit. Some days my body protests, but once I start, the pain disappears, and I find myself in moments of tranquility with nature and life.
If I’ve inspired you to walk, you have encouraged me to live life fully after loss in countless ways.
I will always be grateful to have you as a friend.