Merrill and Me

Walking the Cranford Train Platform

I'm Known for Walking Around Cranford

Estimated reading time: 1 minute, 40 seconds

As I walked along Columbia Avenue and entered the walking path, I noticed it was empty because the schools were closed for the summer. After a short distance, I passed a man walking his dog. I greeted him with a friendly “How are you?” He responded with “you, too.” I mentioned the hot weather, with temperatures predicted to be in the nineties, and he stopped to chat. He mentioned seeing me at the train station platform now that he’s back in the office a few days a week and asked if I exited the train and started my walk there.

Pausing our walk, I shared that I reside in Cranford and often incorporate the train platforms into my walking routine for extra stair work. “I’m a regular walker all over town,” I quipped. If circumstances were different, perhaps if we were more acquainted, his dog hadn’t been with him, or my legs hadn’t been weary, I might have mentioned that it was my 1147th consecutive day of walking. We bid each other farewell, our faces adorned with smiles and a newfound appreciation for our shared early morning walks.

He could become a new companion on my walks around town. Someday, I might share with him the reason behind my daily walking streak, the musings that occupy my mind as I stroll, or how it has helped me grieve. If not, he might hear my tale from others who spot me and share that they knew I was passing by their home or business.

As I walked around Nomahegan Park, a fond memory of my grandmother‘s jest when I was fascinated with trains resurfaced: “Perhaps, before you were born, they said trains, and you chose that gift over brains.” Her words, laced with humor, always made me smile. When Jan and I tied the knot, she commended my decision-making skills. Yet, my love for trains persists, and I cherish the brief moments I spend each day on the platforms, observing commuters embark or disembark their trains.

Walking for 1097 Days

For the past three years, I have been walking towards the future. I find joy in the little things that make up my daily routine, but sometimes, I feel a deep longing for companionship.

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How Did I Grieve?

I'm Known for Walking Around Cranford

Estimated reading time: 1 minute, 40 seconds

How Did I Grieve?

If grief has made me a better person, it's because God gave me the ability to listen, embrace, and move forward into the future. Although I miss Jan dearly, I am committed to living with courage, honoring her memory, and being my best father, grandfather, friend, and neighbor.

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Merrill and Me
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Death Takes Me

Read: December 2025

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Death Takes Me: A Novel

by Cristina Rivera Garza

Originally written in Spanish by Cristina Rivera Garza, Death Takes Me is a thrilling masterpiece of literary fiction that turns the traditional crime narrative of gendered violence on its head. As sharp as the cuts on the bodies of the victims, the story unfolds with the dreamlike logic of a surreal experience, transitioning from the police station to a professor’s classroom and through the intricate worlds of Latin American poetry and art. It invites readers to explore the unstable terrains of desire and sexuality.

A city is always a cemetery.

In the narrative, a professor named Cristina Rivera Garza stumbles upon the corpse of a mutilated man in a dark alley and promptly reports it to the police. When shown a crime scene photo, she discovers a stark warning written in tiny print with coral nail polish on the brick wall beside the body: “Beware of me, my love / beware of the silent woman in the desert.”

The professor becomes the primary informant in the case, which is led by a detective who is newly obsessed with poetry and haunted by a list of past failures. But what has the professor truly witnessed? As more bodies of castrated men alongside lines of verse, the detective attempts to decipher the meaning of the poems in hopes of stopping the spreading violence throughout the city.


Cristina Rivera Garza is an acclaimed author known for works such as The Taiga Syndrome and The Iliac Crest. Her memoir, Liliana’s Invincible Summer, won the Pulitzer Prize and was a finalist for the National Book Award. She has received the MacArthur Fellowship and the Sor Juana Inés de la Cruz Prize. Currently, Rivera Garza holds the Hugh Roy and Lillie Cranz Cullen Distinguished Chair and serves as director of the PhD program in Creative Writing in Spanish at the University of Houston.

Sarah Booker is a teacher and a literary translator. Her translations include novels by Mónica Ojeda, Cristina Rivera Garza, and Gabriela Ponce. She is also an associate editor at Southwest Review.

Robin Myers is a poet and translator. Her translations encompass Andrés Neuman’s Bariloche, Claudia Peña Claros’s The Trees, Isabel Zapata’s In Vitro, Eliana Hernández-Pachón’s The Brush, and Cristina Rivera Garza’s The Restless Dead: Necrowriting and Disappropriation.



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Camp Zero

Read: April 2023

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Camp Zero: A Novel

by Michelle Min Sterling

I recently read an incredible novel called Camp Zero by Michelle Min Sterling. The book tells the story of several climate change survivors in a near-future northern settlement and explores the intersection of gender, class, and migration. The novel is a page-turner and a masterful exploration of who and what will survive in a warming world.

The story follows Rose, a young woman who agrees to spy on the architect of an American building project in exchange for housing. She arrives at the same time as Grant, a college professor who is trying to escape his wealthy family’s dark legacy. As they begin to investigate the mysterious architect, they uncover a disturbing mystery lurking beneath the surface of the camp.

One of the most fascinating aspects of the novel is the inclusion of an elite group of women soldiers living and working at a nearby Cold War-era climate research station. The rumors surrounding their presence add more intrigue to an already compelling story.

If you’re looking for a captivating novel that will keep you on the edge of your seat, I highly recommend Camp Zero. The book is a mesmerizing and transportive read, perfect for fans of Station Eleven and The Power.


The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

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Self-Portrait with Ghost: Short Stories

Read: December 2022

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Self-Portrait with Ghost: Short Stories

by Meng Jin

Self-Portrait with Ghost: Short Stories by Meng Jin was written during the turbulent years of the Trump administration and the first year of the pandemic, these stories explore intimacy and isolation, coming of age, and coming to terms with the repercussions of past mistakes, fraying relationships, and surprising moments of connection. I highly recommend Self-Portrait with Ghost: Short Stories!

Each story speaks so clearly to the loneliness epidemic that confronts our world. I would read one short story and promise to stop and wait until another day to read the next one. Instead

One phrase that will always remain with me is: “The hallucinatory quality of grief.” As a widow, the phrase struck a chord that will forever resonate in my soul.

This is the seventy-third book I have read this year.

The Goodreads summary provides an overview,

Meng Jin’s critically acclaimed debut novel, Little Gods, was praised as “spectacular and emotionally polyphonic (Omar El-Akkad, BookPage), “powerful” (Washington Post), and “meticulously observed, daringly imagined” (Claire Messud). Jin turns her considerable talents into short fiction in ten thematically linked stories.

Moving between San Francisco and China, and from unsparing realism to genre-bending delight, Self-Portrait with Ghost considers what it means to live in an age of heightened self-consciousness, seemingly unlimited access to knowledge, and little actual power.

Page-turning, thought-provoking, and wholly unique, Self-Portrait with Ghost further establishes Meng Jin as a writer who “reminds us that possible explanations in our universe are as varied as the beings who populate it” (Paris Review).


The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

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I receive a commission when you buy a book or product using a link on this page. Thank you for supporting Sharing Jan’s Love blog.



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The Book of V

Read: October 2021

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The Book of V

by Anna Solomon

The Book of V by Anna Solomon is a book that I may not have read at another time in my life, and I did find it to be a book that I could not stop reading.

Goodreads summarizes its plot.

Anna Solomon’s kaleidoscopic novel intertwines the lives of a Brooklyn mother in 2016, a senator’s wife in 1970s Washington, D.C., and the Bible’s Queen Esther, whose stories of sex, power and desire overlap and ultimately converge—showing how women’s roles have and have not changed over thousands of years.

Being Jewish, I knew the story of Queen Esther, although this version added new layers of the story that I did not know. The book’s illumination that women’s roles have not changed over thousands of years was something I knew but did not fully understand.

The three characters are very vivid and weave a story that is worth reading.

Lily is a mother and a daughter. And a second wife. And a writer, maybe? Or she was going to be, before she had children. Now, in her rented Brooklyn apartment, she’s grappling with her sexual and intellectual desires while also trying to manage her roles as a mother and a wife.

Vivian Barr seems to be the perfect political wife, dedicated to helping her charismatic and ambitious husband find success in Watergate-era Washington D.C. But one night he demands a humiliating favor, and her refusal to obey changes the course of her life—along with the lives of others.

Esther is a fiercely independent young woman in ancient Persia, where she and her uncle’s tribe live a tenuous existence outside the palace walls. When an innocent mistake results in devastating consequences for her people, she is offered up as a sacrifice to please the king, in the hopes that she will save them all.

I recommend this book.

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The Heaven & Earth Grocery Store

Read: November 2023

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The Heaven & Earth Grocery Store

by James McBride

I started reading The Heaven & Earth Grocery Store: A Novel by James McBride today. It’s the seventy-first book I’ve read this year and the two hundredth since January 1, 2019. The novel’s narrative begins in 1972 when workers in Pottstown, Pennsylvania, were digging the foundations for a new development. They were surprised to find a skeleton at the bottom of the well. The identity of the skeleton and how it ended up there were long-held secrets that the residents of Chicken Hill kept.

Jewish immigrants and African Americans lived together in this run-down neighborhood and shared their aspirations and hardships. Moshe and Chona Ludlow resided in Chicken Hill when Moshe integrated his theatre, and Chona ran the Heaven & Earth Grocery Store. When the state officials searched for a deaf boy to institutionalize him, it was Chona and Nate Timblin, the Black janitor at Moshe’s theatre and the unofficial leader of the Black community on Chicken Hill, who collaborated to keep the boy safe.

As the stories of these characters intertwine and develop, it becomes evident how much the individuals living on the outskirts of white, Christian America struggle to survive and what they must do to make it through. As the truth is ultimately disclosed regarding the events that occurred on Chicken Hill, including the involvement of the town’s white establishment, McBride illustrates to us that, even in the darkest of times, love and community – the very essence of heaven and earth – help us endure.

Bringing his masterly storytelling skills and deep faith in humanity to The Heaven & Earth Grocery Store, James McBride has written a novel as compassionate as Deacon King Kong and as inventive as The Good Lord Bird.

The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Regarding gifts made this month, I will match dollar for dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

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I receive a commission when you buy a book or product using a link on this page. Thank you for supporting Sharing Jan’s Love blog.



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The Searcher: A Novel

Read: March 2024

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The Searcher: A Novel

by Tana French

Today, I started reading Tana French‘s The Searcher: A Novel. Last week, I read The Hunter by the same author. I should have read The Searcher first, as it is the prequel to The Hunter, but reading in reverse order helped my enjoyment. Despite knowing some of the suspenseful twists and turns the story would take, I found it a page-turner.

The story follows Cal Hooper, a retired Chicago police officer who seeks a fresh start in a tranquil Irish village. However, when a local boy approaches him to investigate his missing brother, Cal discovers that the town has its share of dark secrets. The book raises thought-provoking questions about distinguishing right from wrong in a complicated world and what we risk when making that decision.

Tana French is a highly acclaimed crime novelist who skillfully creates a captivating and suspenseful atmosphere throughout the book.

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