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The Triad of Love

Estimated reading time: 13 minutes, 6 seconds
Packing Day

Honor Roll of Donors

All donors, regardless of the amount of their contribution, are appreciated for their support, encouragement, and love.

Among the comments that inspired me to climb were:

“Your climb is recognizing a great cause. Your commitment and dedication to causes close to your heart are commendable. Keep up the good work.” – Roger and Sandra Held.

Richard, everyone should use your words to continue through life. Climb, Conquer, Cure Cancer. Good luck and success on your climb to the top.” – United Way of Hudson County.

Richard, your love and devotion are heartwarming.” – Anonymous.

The Donors to My 2025 Big Climb!

  1. Alan Diamond
  2. Alison Recca-Ryan
  3. Andrea L. Zukowitz
  4. Anonymous
  5. Anonymous
  6. Anonymous
  7. Arnold Cohen
  8. Art Jetthree
  9. Barbara Gavin
  10. Betty Thomas
  11. Bruce Davidson
  12. Bruce and Lois Tangowski
  13. Carolyn  Lewis-Spruill
  14. Catherine Felegi
  15. Cindy  Hannen
  16. Danny Altilio
  17. David Brown
  18. David Buckman
  19. Deborah and Ron Thomas
  20. Diahann W. Lassus
  21. Diane Riley
  22. Edythe Ben-Israel
  23. Ellen  McHenry
  24. Ellen Lieberman
  25. Jane Park
  26. Jo Ann Boyle
  27. Joe Masciandaro
  28. Joyce Campbell
  29. Judy Waller
  30. June Brown
  31. Kathleen Murray
  1. Kathryn Lynch
  2. Katie Brennan
  3. Kevin Garron
  4. Laverne  Williams
  5. Louis Pantoliano
  6. Marc and Pam Bain
  7. Mark Annett
  8. Merrill Altberg
  9. Michael Daigle
  10. Nancy McGraw
  11. Nancy McMenamin Fallin
  12. Paul Nilsen
  13. Rev. Howard A Bryant, Sr.
  14. Rhoda and Bruce Miller
  15. Richard & Meridith Uniacke
  16. Riverview Landscapes
  17. Robert Hutchins
  18. Roberta Krumholz
  19. Roger and Sandra Held
  20. Ron and Laura Weening
  21. Sangeeta Prasad Benbow
  22. Skip Winter
  23. Staci Berger
  24. Steve Clayton
  25. Sue Marcus
  26. Susan Milan
  27. The Mane Event Salon
  28. The Mazza Company
  29. United Way of Hudson County
  30. Vasilios Zavolas

Pages: 1 2 3 4 5 6

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Conjure Women

Read: November 2021

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Conjure Women: A Novel

by Afia Atakora

Conjure Women by Afia Atakora is about a mother and her daughter with a shared talent for healing—and for the conjuring of curses — at the heart of this dazzling first novel. Conjure Women takes place before, during, and after the Civil War. The book is structured around three-time frames; Slaverytime, Freddomtime, and Wartime.

Having grown up in the South and heard far too many stories about the Lost Cause, it was a joy to read a book narrated by two African-American women. The third leading character is the daughter o the owner of the plantation. At the end of the war, she was hidden away for six years and was unaware the South had surrendered.

Conjure Women is a sweeping story that brings the world of the South before and after the Civil War vividly to life. Spanning eras and generations, it tells of the lives of three unforgettable women: Miss May Belle, a wise healing woman; her precocious and observant daughter Rue, who is reluctant to follow in her mother’s footsteps as a midwife; and their master’s daughter Varina. The secrets and bonds among these women and their community come to a head at the beginning of a war and at the birth of an accursed child, who sets the townspeople alight with fear and a spreading superstition that threatens their newly won, tenuous freedom.

Magnificently written, brilliantly researched, and richly imagined, Conjure Women moves back and forth in time to tell the haunting story of Rue, Varina, and May Belle, their passions and friendships, and the lengths they will go to save themselves and those they love.

Since Jan died, I have read many books that I know she enjoyed. We both enjoyed Call the Midwife, and this book focused on birthing and mothering. Although conjuring was their medical care and not the type practiced in poplar by the Midwives, we would both have enjoyed the book.

Conjure Women also raises questions about the meaning of freedom. For example, Rue chooses not to leave the former plantation after the Klan attacks despite being free.

I recommend this book and look forward to reading more from Afia Atakora.

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The Second Mountain: The Quest for a Moral Life

Read: May 2019

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The Second Mountain: The Quest for a Moral Life

by David Brooks

The Second Mountain: The Quest for a Moral Life by David Brooks is a book I often recommend. Mr. Brooks writes about the first mountain that most people climb. The book challenges the reader to “live for a cause greater than themselves.”

It is about “to be a success, make your mark, experience personal happiness.” Even when they reach the top of the mountain, most people find they are unhappy. The climb to the summit has become unsatisfying.

On the second mountain, life moves from self-centered to other-centered.” Life becomes interdependent, not independent; it becomes a life of commitment, not about us.

Mr. Brooks “explores the four commitments that define a life of meaning and purpose: to a spouse and family, to a vocation, to a philosophy or faith, and to a community.

We live in a society, Brooks argues, that celebrates freedom, that tells us to be true to ourselves, at the expense of surrendering to a cause, rooting ourselves in a neighborhood, binding ourselves to others by social solidarity and love. We have taken individualism to the extreme—and in the process we have torn the social fabric in a thousand different ways.

When I read The Second Mountain, it became clear that Jan and I never even attempted to climb the first mountain. We were constantly climbing the second mountain.

We had chosen to do work that repaired the world; we both had a faith community and lived in a community.

All we were missing as far as commitments when we met was each other. Our love for each other provided the missing link and allowed us to climb to the top of the second mountain.

The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

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The Exhibitionist: A Novel

Read: July 2023

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The Exhibitionist: A Novel

by Charlotte Mendelson

I began reading Charlotte Mendelson‘s novel, The Exhibitionist, today. The book tells the story of Lucia and Ray, two artists whose marriage starts to fall apart over a weekend. It explores themes such as art, sacrifice, family dynamics, queer desire, and personal freedom. Charlotte Mendelson has created yet another exceptional novel with The Exhibitionist, ranked as the year’s novel by The Times of London, and described as “furiously funny.”

The Hanrahan family is coming together for an important weekend. Ray Hanrahan, a well-known artist with a big ego, is preparing for his first exhibition in many years. His eldest daughter, Leah, is his biggest supporter. His son, Patrick, has decided to pursue his own path. His youngest daughter, Jess, has a big decision to make. Ray’s wife, Lucia, is also an artist but has always prioritized her roles as a wife and mother. She is keeping secrets of her own and must decide which desires to pursue as the weekend progresses and the exhibition approaches.

The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

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Lone Women

Read: March 2023

Lone Women: A Novel

by Victor LaValle

As an amateur historian, I have always enjoyed historical fiction, especially when It helps us redefine the past to be more accurate. Lone Women: A Novel by Victor LaValle is a haunting new vision of the American West from the award-winning author of The Changeling. Blue skies, empty land—and enough room to hide away a horrifying secret. Or is there? I recommend this book.

When I began reading this novel, I was unsure where it was going or what might be hidden in the steamer trunk. I was unaware of this story and found this book a well-written account of forgotten history that must be told and shared with all readers. Stay the course as Lone Women: A Novel reveals the secrets in the Trunk and the fantastic story of lone women who lived in and prospered in the old West.

Lone Women is the twenty-fifth book I have read in 2023. Although I have surpassed my reading goal, I will continue to read.

The Goodreads summary provides an overview,

Adelaide Henry carries an enormous steamer trunk with her wherever she goes. It’s locked at all times. Because when the trunk is opened, people around her start to disappear…

The year is 1914, and Adelaide is in trouble. Her secret sin killed her parents and forced her to flee her hometown of Redondo, California, in a hellfire rush, ready to make her way to Montana as a homesteader. Dragging the trunk with her at every stop, she will be one of the “lone women” taking advantage of the government’s offer of free land for those who can cultivate it—except Adelaide isn’t alone. And the secret she’s tried so desperately to lock away might be the only thing keeping her alive.

Told in Victor LaValle’s signature style, blending historical fiction, shimmering prose, and inventive horror, Lone Women is the gripping story of a woman desperate to bury her past—and a portrait of early twentieth-century America as you’ve never seen.

The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

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Long Bright River

Read: December 2021

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Long Bright River

by Liz Moore

Long Bright River by Liz Moore was a 2020 NPR Books We Love Selection. It’s a contemporary novel about the opioid epidemic, it’s a novel about sisters and families, it’s a book about the police and how they fall short of the communities they serve, and it’s a well-plotted crime novel. Its main story revolves around Mickey, a patrol officer raising a young son in a working-class neighborhood in Northeast Philadelphia, and her missing sister, who’s addicted to drugs. Both women are the children of addicts, raised by a strict grandmother.

Despite Long Bright River being selected by NPR and others as one of the best books, I was not sure what to expect. My doubts evaporated on page one. Mickey’s narration, including her description of Kensignton, made this a page-turner.

Mickey and Kacey’s lives became so realistic that I could not put the book down. One night, I stayed up to finish reading for the first time in almost a decade.

As much as it focuses on the opioid epidemic and the shortcomings of policing, its proper focus is on sisters and families. My love of family has become more important to me than ever since the loss of Jan, the love of my life.

Ms. Moore brings it all together in the ending but leaves enough doubt as to the future relationship of the sisters that we can feel the harsh reality of life itself. Long Bright River is the first but not the last book by this author that I will read.

Goodreads has an overview if you need more convincing.

In a Philadelphia neighborhood rocked by the opioid crisis, two once-inseparable sisters find themselves at odds. One, Kacey, lives on the streets in the vise of addiction. The other, Mickey, walks those same blocks on her police beat. They don’t speak anymore, but Mickey never stops worrying about her sibling.

Then Kacey disappears suddenly, at the same time that a mysterious string of murders begins in Mickey’s district, and Mickey becomes dangerously obsessed with finding the culprit–and her sister–before it’s too late.

Alternating its present-day mystery with the story of the sisters’ childhood and adolescence, Long Bright River is at once heart-pounding and heart-wrenching: a gripping suspense novel that is also a moving story of sisters, addiction, and the formidable ties that persist between place, family, and fate.

I highly recommend this book.

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When I'm Gone, Look for Me in the East

Read: January 2023

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When I’m Gone, Look for Me in the East

by Quan Barry

When I’m Gone, Look for Me in the East by Quan Barry is a luminous novel that moves across a windswept Mongolia as a pair of estranged twin brothers make a journey of duty, conflict, and renewed understanding. Since Jan died, I have been sharing her love and not looking for her, so this novel attracted me as it was a counter-narrative. Are our lives our own, or do we belong to something more significant?

When I’m Gone, Look for Me in the East is a stunningly far-flung examination of our struggle to retain our convictions and discover meaning in a fast-changing world, as well as a meditation on accepting what is.

Although I know only a limited amount about Buddhism and even less about Mongolia, I found When I’m Gone, Look for Me in the East a fascinating page-turner of a novel.

Coincidently, while en route to see Memorial, we stopped to eat at a Mexican-Peruvian restaurant on Tenth Avenue in NYC. On the television was a continuous loop of a travelogue on Mongolia.

I found several quotes that I have used in other posts already.

  • “Sometimes faith is the only medicine available.”
  • “When the only hope is a boat and there is no boat, I will be the boat.”

I plan to use others in future posts.

Love never dies, and this quote echoed my belief.

“Love is neither created nor destroyed. It exists at all times and in all dimensions. Love is not something we create—it is something that wells up in us, like sap in a tree. It is an element in the fabric of the universe. Even on that distant day when sentient beings no longer exist, Love carries on. Perhaps our personal relationship to Love is impermanent, but Love itself is not.”

I highly recommend When I’m Gone, Look for Me in the East.

The Goodreads summary provides an overview,

Tasked with finding the reincarnation of a great lama somewhere in the vast Mongolian landscape, the young monk Chuluun seeks the help of his identical twin, Mun, who was recognized as a reincarnation himself as a child but has since renounced their once shared monastic life.

Harking back to her vivid and magical first novel set in Vietnam, Quan Barry carries us across a landscape as unforgiving as it is beautiful and culturally varied, from the stark Gobi Desert to the ancient capital of Chinggis Khan. As their country stretches before them, questions of the immortal soul, along with more earthly matters of love, sex, and brotherhood, haunt the twins, who can hear each other’s thoughts.

The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

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I receive a commission when you buy a book or product using a link on this page. Thank you for supporting Sharing Jan’s Love blog.

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