We Are Having a Baby!
Estimated reading time: 11 minutes, 35 seconds
Home Sweet Home
As I started walking toward the bus, I could head south and be home in half an hour instead of walking three blocks west and waiting for a bus. I had done this route before but rarely this late at night. Most of the sidewalks on New York Avenue had been cleared of snow, but I walked as carefully as a ballerina would dance on a frozen lake. All I could think about was telling Jan about my meeting while I had a late dinner.
When I entered our block, the trees sans their leaves were shaking due to the crisp and steady wind as the last remnants of the storm moved out to sea.
Their shadows were like arms surrounding and welcoming me home. I felt a warmth in my heart as I knew I would soon be able to hold Jan in my arms.
Walking up the stairs, I called out to Jan,””Honey, I am home!
Opening the door, Jan’s million-dollar smile welcomed me.
“Thanks for the warm welcome. Ican’tt wait to tell you about my meeting.”
“Jan kissed me and purred in my ear, “We have something important we must do before we talk.”
Dropping my bag and hanging up my coat, I asked her what we needed to do.
“We want to have a baby, and this is the optimum time to….”
“I have not eaten,” I interrupted. “
“”You can eat later,” Jan responded as she took my hand and pulled me to our bedroom. “
“Unbuttoning my shirt, Jan looked into my eyes and said,””If we miss this moment, we may have to wait until next month.”
“Can I eat first?”
“No.”
As we fell onto our bed, I caressed Jan and focused on her pleasure.
Not tonight, dear; we must focus on making a baby.”
I tried again, but she kept moving my hands and shaking her head.
Relenting, I thought I was mixing fluids in a test tube mixing fluids in a test tube mixing fluids in a test tube in my high school chemistry class. I blinked my eyes to keep from remembering the unpleasant smell of a failed experiment.
“Are you finished?”
“Yes,” I whispered.”
Lying next to Jan afterward, I kissed her forehead and placed my right hand on her left hip. My hand moved along her side, and I felt like we were one body, not two. Despite having united as one a few minutes before, I found this moment far more intimate.
Soon it felt as if the limbs of the trees on Sterling Street were rocking our floating bed in the air. They rocked us slowly and comforted us. I heard them whisper you will have a child one day, and we will look after them. We were one body waiting to welcome our first child.
I opened my eyes and whisperedlife’ss most important mantra, “Jan, I love you so much!
“Me too!”
“What did you want to tell me about your meeting?”
It’s not important now; we can talk about it over breakfast,” I mumbled as my hand stroked Jan’s lower back.
“OK, are you still hungry? There are leftovers in the fridge.”
“No” I laughed.””I want to brush my teeth and return to bed with you.”
After almost 48 years, I recently lost my wife, Jan Lilien. Like The Little Prince, Jan and I believed that “The most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or touched, they are felt with the heart.” This blog is a collection of my random thoughts on love, grief, life, and all things considered.
