Shadows from the Past

Estimated reading time: 15 minutes, 33 seconds

Airport Shuttle

Sleet was falling as I paced the office. I was supposed to go to the airport to pick up my friend in the afternoon. I had reserved the office van. The driving conditions were not ideal, but my primary concern was Jan, not the icy road. For the last month, I had reminded her every day how much I loved her. But I knew she was worried, as was I. I did not want to lose the love of my life, but we seemed to be on thin ice on the second day of 1974.

“Richard, you have a call on line 2,” June, the Church secretary, said. 

I picked up the extension and heard my friend’s voice, “My plane will not be arriving until 8:30. Winter weather here. Is that OK?”

I answered yes quickly and then repeated, “I will be there to pick you up.”

I hung up the phone gingerly, went to the van reservation form, deleted my afternoon reservation, and moved it to 7:30. I stood there thinking and erased the time and changed it to 6:30.I will pick up Jan and bring her with me. Brilliant Richard! That way, Jan will see with her eyes that there is no reason to worry.

I went back to my basement office. Jan could not receive calls at work, but I did leave her a message. “The plane is arriving late. I will pick you up so we can go together. Call and let me know the best place to meet you?”

The street was salted, but the sidewalks were sleek as I warmed up the van. Jan had agreed to go with me. I eased the van into the street and drove slowly initially to get acclimated to the road conditions. 

After a slow, difficult drive, I pulled in front of Jan’s apartment, and before I could get out to open the door for her, she was sitting next to me. 

“I am glad it worked out you could go with me to the airport.”

“I am happy to go with you,” Jan said. “Are you sure you do not want private time with your girlfriend?”

Her voice was bitter and tart. 

Richard W. Brown speaks about grief, sharing Jan’s love, and how Hanson Park became the site of Jan’s Memorial Garden.

“I have no desire to be alone with her, and she is not my girlfriend!”

I turned on the radio to WBAI. Until we arrived at the airport, neither of us said more than a few words.

As we left the van, I wanted to reassure Jan, but I could not find the correct words, so I hugged and kissed her.

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The Kitchen House

Read: August 2021

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The Kitchen House

by Kathleen Grisson

The Kitchen House by Kathleen Grissom was a book that I knew very little about who I took from our bookshelf. My wife had encouraged me to read it as it focused on the south, and she knew I ofter read both about that place and enjoyed history.

From the opening pages, It became a book that I could not put down.

Two characters narrate the book. One is Lavinia, an Irish girl orphaned and brought to the plantation by the master, a ship’s captain. She is assigned to the kitchen house to work with Belle, who is the illegitimate child of the master of the estate.

As Lavinia grows under the tutelage of Belle, the story highlights the struggles of a plantation. Lavinia finds family and love from the enslaved even though she is only indentured. The distinction that skin color would have on their lives is one that Lavinia only learns at the end.

Through the unique eyes of Lavinia and Belle, Grissom’s debut novel unfolds in a heartbreaking and ultimately hopeful story of class, race, dignity, deep-buried secrets, and familial bonds.

The Kitchen House is Ms. Grissom’s first novel and impressed me and inspired me even though I have no skills as a writer.

I strongly recommend this book.

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The Houseboat

Read: February 2023

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The Houseboat: A Novel

by Dane Bahr

The Houseboat: A Novel by Dane Bahr was one of 6 New Paperbacks to Read This Week in The New York Times. Miguel Salazar of the Times described it as “A girl claims her boyfriend has been murdered outside a small town in Iowa, and although no body is found, collective suspicion lands on a loner who lives in a rotting houseboat along the Mississippi River. Through chapters that shift in perspective and move through time, Bahr builds to a nail-biting denouement.”

Edward Nese, the regional marshall from Minnesota, was a character that I could identify with, as he was widowed but still married. Of course, in the early 1960s, I was still a middle school student and would probably have been freighted by The Houseboat

I recommend this true crime novel. Until the last page, you will be unsure how it will end.

After reading non-fiction history about the assassination of President Garfield, I needed a change of genre.

The Goodreads summary provides an overview,

James Sallis meets Mindhunter in this stylish and atmospheric noir set in a small town in Iowa in the 1960s, a midcentury heartland gothic with plentiful twists and a feverish conclusion.

Local outcast Rigby Sellers lives in squalor on a dilapidated houseboat on the Mississippi River. With only stolen manikins and the river to keep him company, Rigby spirals from the bizarre to the threatening. As a year of drought gives way to a season of storms, a girl is found trembling on the side of the road, claiming her boyfriend was murdered. The nearby town of Oscar turns its suspicions toward Sellers.

Town sheriff Amos Fielding knows this crime is more than he can handle alone. He calls on the regional marshall in Minnesota, and detective Edward Ness arrives in Oscar to help him investigate the homicide and defuse the growing unrest. Ness, suffering from his demons, is determined to put his past behind him and solve the case. But soon, more bodies are found. As Ness and Fielding uncover disturbing facts about Sellers, and a great storm floods the Mississippi, threatening the town, Oscar is pushed to a breaking point even Ness may not be able to prevent.


The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

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The Listeners

Read: June 2025

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The Listeners: A Novel

by Maggie Stiefvater

Maggie Stiefvater‘s latest historical fiction, The Listeners, is now available in stores today, and it’s an enthralling read that you won’t want to put down. Set against the backdrop of January 1942, the luxurious Avallon Hotel & Spa stands as a beacon of elegance amid the rugged beauty of West Virginia, its refreshing mountain waters promising to wash away the worries of high society until it is ordered to house Axis diplomats. Stiefvater‘s meticulous research and attention to historical detail bring this era to life in a way that will captivate any history buff.

At the heart of this gripping tale is June Porter Hudson, a local girl who has risen to the role of general manager. With remarkable skill, she navigated the early challenges of wartime operations, but nothing could prepare her for the complexities of hosting diplomats from the Axis powers. As tensions mount and secrets unfold, June must confront her fears and the profound changes in history, all while striving to uphold the dignity of the Avallon. Dive into this captivating story and feel the weight of the changing tides of history.

In the opulent world of the Avallon Hotel, the Gilfoyle family reigns supreme, their aristocratic lineage a testament to old-world charm and privilege. But this sanctuary of luxury is thrown into turmoil when the family heir strikes a clandestine deal with the State Department, bringing a motley crew of captured Axis diplomats into their midst. June, the hotel’s resourceful manager, finds herself in an impossible position, tasked with persuading her dedicated staff, many of whom have loved ones fighting on the front lines, to serve these enemy guests with charming smiles.

As tensions simmer beneath the surface, FBI Agent Tucker Minnick lurks in the shadows, his coal tattoo serving as a reminder of his rugged Appalachian roots. He presses his ear against the hotel’s walls, eavesdropping on the diplomats’ whispered secrets. Yet, his past clings to him like a specter, revealing that the very same balancing act that keeps June poised could lead to perilous consequences. Beneath the hotel lies Sweetwater—its power to heal intertwined with its potential to destroy.

June is known for her ability to charm any guest, but these diplomats challenge her mastery. They’ve waged a silent war at her doorstep, forcing her to confront the reality that clashing loyalties threaten to shatter Avallon’s polished exterior. As June navigates this treacherous terrain, she must weigh the actual cost of luxury and decide what she’s willing to sacrifice in a time of conflict.


Maggie Stiefvater is the New York Times bestselling author of the Shiver trilogy, The Raven Cycle, and The Scorpio Races, among dozens of other YA fantasy novels. Her books have sold over five million copies worldwide. She lives in the Shenandoah Valley of Virginia with her husband and their two children.



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Lone Women

Read: March 2023

Lone Women: A Novel

by Victor LaValle

As an amateur historian, I have always enjoyed historical fiction, especially when It helps us redefine the past to be more accurate. Lone Women: A Novel by Victor LaValle is a haunting new vision of the American West from the award-winning author of The Changeling. Blue skies, empty land—and enough room to hide away a horrifying secret. Or is there? I recommend this book.

When I began reading this novel, I was unsure where it was going or what might be hidden in the steamer trunk. I was unaware of this story and found this book a well-written account of forgotten history that must be told and shared with all readers. Stay the course as Lone Women: A Novel reveals the secrets in the Trunk and the fantastic story of lone women who lived in and prospered in the old West.

Lone Women is the twenty-fifth book I have read in 2023. Although I have surpassed my reading goal, I will continue to read.

The Goodreads summary provides an overview,

Adelaide Henry carries an enormous steamer trunk with her wherever she goes. It’s locked at all times. Because when the trunk is opened, people around her start to disappear…

The year is 1914, and Adelaide is in trouble. Her secret sin killed her parents and forced her to flee her hometown of Redondo, California, in a hellfire rush, ready to make her way to Montana as a homesteader. Dragging the trunk with her at every stop, she will be one of the “lone women” taking advantage of the government’s offer of free land for those who can cultivate it—except Adelaide isn’t alone. And the secret she’s tried so desperately to lock away might be the only thing keeping her alive.

Told in Victor LaValle’s signature style, blending historical fiction, shimmering prose, and inventive horror, Lone Women is the gripping story of a woman desperate to bury her past—and a portrait of early twentieth-century America as you’ve never seen.


The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

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Evergreen

Read: October 2022

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Evergreen by Kirsten Robinson

by Kirsten Robinson

Evergreen by Kirsten Robinson is a tribute to the enduring resilience of human nature as we cycle through times of light and darkness, much like nature itself. In her debut book, Kirsten Robinson (@NakedWriting) lays her heart bare in a raw, relatable, and inspirational way to describe the journey of growth born out of finding beauty in breakage and love after loss.

Albeit a cliche, the book jumped off the shelf and into my hands when I saw it in Hickory & Hill General Store in Cranford.

This artfully honest collection embodies and expands upon the poetry and prose Robinson began writing under the famous social media pseudonym Naked Writing.

I highly recommend this book and intend to keep it at my bedside for a pick-me-up.

Although I have only started reading the poems, I want to share two that resonated with me.

The first one is on giving thanks.

Give thanks for all
that is good and beautiful;
the gifts you carry
people who lift you up
your big, big love
faith and trust that your life
is unfolding as it should

Give thanks for all
that has been difficult and hard;
trials tribulations tears
tests of self strength fears
all of the unknowns and days
that broke you

Without the darkness
you would not have
learned to appreciate the light

A second one on bravery.

Bravery
is not about standing tall
after you’ve climbed up
the top of a mountain

Bravery
is looking
fear
heartache
rejection
terror
loss
death
in the eye
and saying, “no,
not today”

Bravery
is standing back up
after you’ve been brought down
to your knees


The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

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I receive a commission when you buy a book or product using a link on this page. Thank you for supporting Sharing Jan’s Love.

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Blunt Instrument

Read: July 2026

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Blunt Instrument

by Amy Bloom

Written with the same depth of character and insight that readers have come to expect from author Amy Bloom‘s novels and memoirs, “Blunt Instrument” is an engaging and entertaining mystery featuring a clever, complex protagonist. The case of the bludgeoned lecturer has left everyone at Cromwell University reeling, even though the elderly Professor Bullfinch wasn’t particularly well-liked.

His ornery nature and Old World approach to campus politics ruffled more than a few feathers over the years, and present tensions within his department mean there are more suspects than mourners in the wake of his death. And the murder weapon—a bronze bust of Nathaniel Hawthorne—does seem to indicate that the attack may have been academically motivated…

Enter Dell Chandler, the failed English professor turned self-taught private detective whom Dr. Cutty calls in to investigate the crime. She has the background to tease out the motives among the staff and just enough experience to conduct a thorough inquiry. If she solves the case before the cops do, the university could keep the whole thing quiet, avoiding sensational media about the dark side of campus life. But to do so, she’ll have to dodge her own demons from her past life as a disgraced academic.


Amy Bloom is the New York Times bestselling author of novels, short stories, memoir, and nonfiction. She has written for magazines such as The New Yorker, New York Magazine, The New York Times Magazine, Vogue, Elle, The Atlantic, Slate, and Salon. Her work has been translated into seventeen languages. Blunt Instrument is her first crime novel. Amy resides in Connecticut and recently retired as Wesleyan University’s Shapiro-Silverberg Professor of Creative Writing, while continuing to work as a psychotherapist and a novelist.



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