A Healthy Baby Boy!

Estimated reading time: 10 minutes, 26 seconds

Buckethead

My son, your Mom will appreciate the flowers,” I said as I unlocked the front door to our house. It had been a lovely day in late June, and as we often did, we walked from the childcare cooperative thru the Brooklyn Botanic Garden to our house. I had taken the D train to Grand Army Plaza. 

“Can you carry my bookbag? I want to hide the flowers from her,” Jon said.

Good idea. I always try to hide flowers from your Mom.

Jon ran to his Mom with the flowers at the top of the stairs.

“Are these for me? They are so beautiful!”

“We did not pick them. The flowers had fallen on the ground,” Jon explained. 

I will get a vase with water,” I responded while kissing Jan.

After putting the flowers on the dining room table, I returned to the living room and sat next to Jan on the couch.

“Before dinner, your Mom and I wanted to talk with you.”

“OK,” he said as he ran around the room in a large circle. 

Jon, come here,” Jan said. We both put our arms around him.

As he wiggled in hopes of gaining his freedom, Jan spoke.

“In a few months, you will be a big brother!”

“I already knew that,” Jon said as he pulled himself loose from our hugs.

“How did you know?”

“Did someone tell you?”

“No, I’m smart.”

Jan and I looked at each other. We did not doubt he was an intelligent child, but this was a surprising response. 

“What is the baby’s name?”

“We have not decided,” I interjected. Also, we do not know if it will be a boy or girl.

Jon picked up the empty five-gallon peanut butter bucket and placed it on his head. 

“Buckethead! Buckethead! That is the baby’s name.”

I think we would like a nice name like yours,” Jan explained.

“No, Buckethead is the name!

Jan and I smiled at each other.

“We will consider that name,” I said with a grin.

“Buckethead! Buckethead!”


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7 comments add your comment

  1. What a great way to remember Your dear wife! I will spend some time reading past articles. Keep going, Richard! Great job!!!

    • Hugo, thank you so very much for your kind words.

      I write from my heart about Jan. The words flow like fresh honey.

      As Helen Keller wrote,

      “What we have once enjoyed we can never lose. All that we love deeply becomes a part of us.”

      Let me know if you find other articles of interest and feel free to share the newsletter with anyone you believe might enjoy reading it.

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A House for Alice: A Novel

Read: September 2023

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A House for Alice: A Novel

by Diana Evans

I just started reading A House for Alice: A Novel by Diana Evans. The story is set against a complicated political backdrop but is filled with hope, humor, and humanity. A House for Alice explores the scars of grief and betrayal across generations and reveals the secrets we keep from our loved ones.

The novel opens with two tragedies that occur in London. The first is the Grenfell Tower fire, which took many lives. The second is the death of Cornelius Winston Pitt, a family patriarch who dies alone. A House for Alice is a beautiful and poignant story about a family of women shaken by loss and searching for closure.

The family matriarch, Alice, has lived in England for fifty years but longs to spend her remaining years in her homeland, Nigeria. Her three daughters are divided on the matter. The youngest daughter, Melissa, is also struggling with the aftermath of her failed relationship. The family’s foundational pillars of trust, love, and cultural identity begin to weaken as they navigate these difficult times.


The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

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The Listeners

Read: June 2025

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The Listeners: A Novel

by Maggie Stiefvater

Maggie Stiefvater‘s latest historical fiction, The Listeners, is now available in stores today, and it’s an enthralling read that you won’t want to put down. Set against the backdrop of January 1942, the luxurious Avallon Hotel & Spa stands as a beacon of elegance amid the rugged beauty of West Virginia, its refreshing mountain waters promising to wash away the worries of high society until it is ordered to house Axis diplomats. Stiefvater‘s meticulous research and attention to historical detail bring this era to life in a way that will captivate any history buff.

At the heart of this gripping tale is June Porter Hudson, a local girl who has risen to the role of general manager. With remarkable skill, she navigated the early challenges of wartime operations, but nothing could prepare her for the complexities of hosting diplomats from the Axis powers. As tensions mount and secrets unfold, June must confront her fears and the profound changes in history, all while striving to uphold the dignity of the Avallon. Dive into this captivating story and feel the weight of the changing tides of history.

In the opulent world of the Avallon Hotel, the Gilfoyle family reigns supreme, their aristocratic lineage a testament to old-world charm and privilege. But this sanctuary of luxury is thrown into turmoil when the family heir strikes a clandestine deal with the State Department, bringing a motley crew of captured Axis diplomats into their midst. June, the hotel’s resourceful manager, finds herself in an impossible position, tasked with persuading her dedicated staff, many of whom have loved ones fighting on the front lines, to serve these enemy guests with charming smiles.

As tensions simmer beneath the surface, FBI Agent Tucker Minnick lurks in the shadows, his coal tattoo serving as a reminder of his rugged Appalachian roots. He presses his ear against the hotel’s walls, eavesdropping on the diplomats’ whispered secrets. Yet, his past clings to him like a specter, revealing that the very same balancing act that keeps June poised could lead to perilous consequences. Beneath the hotel lies Sweetwater—its power to heal intertwined with its potential to destroy.

June is known for her ability to charm any guest, but these diplomats challenge her mastery. They’ve waged a silent war at her doorstep, forcing her to confront the reality that clashing loyalties threaten to shatter Avallon’s polished exterior. As June navigates this treacherous terrain, she must weigh the actual cost of luxury and decide what she’s willing to sacrifice in a time of conflict.


Maggie Stiefvater is the New York Times bestselling author of the Shiver trilogy, The Raven Cycle, and The Scorpio Races, among dozens of other YA fantasy novels. Her books have sold over five million copies worldwide. She lives in the Shenandoah Valley of Virginia with her husband and their two children.



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Checkout 19: A Novel

Read: December 2022

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Checkout 19: A Novel

by Claire-Louise Bennett

Checkout 19: A Novel by Claire-Louise Bennett, a New York Times Best Ten Best Books of 2022; the newspaper highlights the novel’s “unusual setting: the human mind — a brilliant, surprising, weird and very funny one. All the words one might use to describe this book — experimental, autofictional, surrealist — fail to convey the sheer pleasure of ‘Checkout 19.'” I fully agree with this description and found myself living in my mind.

Since Jan died in May of 2021, I have found myself with no one to talk to about the day-to-day events that consume so much of our lives. Checkout 19: A Novel reminded me that I have only been carrying those intimate conversations in my mind. Is it surreal? Yes. Yes, it is. Reading this novel helped me to accept the importance of those conversations. The new characters and scenarios I conjure are less creative than Ms. Claire-Louise Bennett’s

Goodreads describes Checkout 19: A Novel as the adventures of a young woman discovering her genius through the people she meets–and dreams up–along the way. Checkout 19 is a radical affirmation of the power of the imagination, and the magic escapes those who master it open to us all.

I recommend this book.

The Goodreads summary provides an overview,

In a working-class town in a county west of London, a schoolgirl scribbles stories in the back pages of her exercise book, intoxicated by the first sparks of her imagination. As she grows, everything and everyone she encounters become fuel for a burning talent. The large Russian man in the ancient maroon car who careens around the grocery store where she works as a checkout clerk, and slips her a copy of Beyond Good and Evil. The growing heaps of other books in which she loses-and finds-herself. Even the derailing of a friendship, in a devastating violation. The thrill of learning to conjure characters and scenarios in her head is matched by the exhilaration of forging her own way in the world, the two kinds of ingenuity kindling to a brilliant conflagration.


The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

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Impossible to Forget

Read: January 2022

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Impossible to Forget

by Imogen Clark

Impossible to Forget by Imogen Clark is a poignant novel from the bestselling author of Where the Story Starts, an extraordinary final wish that brings five lives together forever.

Just turned eighteen, Romany is on the cusp of taking her first steps into adulthood when tragedy strikes, and she finds herself suddenly alone without her mother, Angie, the only parent she has ever known. In her final letter, Angie has charged her four closest friends with guiding Romany through her last year of school—but is there an ulterior motive to her unusual dying wish?

When I started reading the book’s initial chapters on Amazon, I found myself in an unexpected page-turner. I had been looking for a relaxing read and instead found a novel that is truly impossible to forget.

The book’s premise that a mother would assign her four closest friends to shared guardianship of her daughter is an unusual answer to a question that Jan and I often debated. Who would we designate to raise our children if something had happened to us? If only we could have had the imagination of Angie and her belief that this strange arrangement would be the answer.

Three of the friends were ones that Angie met at University.

  • Maggie, an attorney, is designated to focus on the tasks that need order.
  • Leon is given the culture assignment, although he has denied his talents.
  • Tiger, a nomad, is in charge of travel.

The fourth guardian, Hope, a former model, is in charge of relationships. But none of the others know her or why Angie would assign her that portfolio.

I very much enjoyed reading this novel. However, despite knowing it is about Angie’s death, I did not expect to find myself weeping uncontrollably in the closing chapters as Romany grapples with the beneficial outcomes of her mum’s plans.

Goodreads provides this overview.

As the guardians reflect on their friendship with Angie, it becomes apparent that this unusual arrangement is as much about them as it is about Romany. Navigating their grief individually and as a group, what will all five of them learn about themselves, their pasts—and the woman who’s brought them all together?

I recommend this book without reservation.

Impossible to Forget is the second time I have gotten a book from Amazon First Reads. Impossible to Forget is not scheduled to be published until February 1, 2022.

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Working

Read: October 2019

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Working

by Robert A. Caro

Working by Robert A. Caro is a book of evocatively written essays on his life and work. Among the many valuable words of wisdom is his case that one needs to look at every piece of information, not just what we know when we begin. Far too often, people jump to conclusions without having learned all of the facts.

He describes what it was like to interview the mighty Robert Moses and to begin discovering the extent of the political power Moses wielded; the combination of discouragement and exhilaration he felt confronting the vast holdings of the Lyndon B. Johnson Library in Austin, Texas; his encounters with witnesses, including longtime residents wrenchingly displaced by the construction of Moses’ Cross-Bronx Expressway and Lady Bird Johnson acknowledging the beauty and influence of one of LBJ‘s mistresses. He gratefully remembers how, after years of working in solitude, he found a writers’ community at the New York Public Library, and details the ways he goes about planning and composing his books.

Caro recalls the moments at which he came to understand that he wanted to write not just about the men who wielded power but about the people and the politics that were shaped by that power. And he talks about the importance to him of the writing itself, of how he tries to infuse it with a sense of place and mood to bring characters and situations to life on the page. Taken together, these reminiscences–some previously published, some written expressly for this book–bring into focus the passion, the wry self-deprecation, and the integrity with which this brilliant historian has always approached his work.

I found this one of the best books I have read and recommend it to all readers.

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The Annual Banquet of the Gravediggers' Guild

Read: January 2024

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The Annual Banquet of the Gravediggers’ Guild

by Mathias Énard

Today, I started reading “The Annual Banquet of the Gravediggers’ Guild” by Mathias Énard. The book has been translated into English by Frank Wynne. This novel is full of Mathias Énard‘s characteristic humor and extensive knowledge. It is a lively book where the boundaries between past and present are constantly blurred, set against a backdrop of excess reminiscent of Rabelais’ writing.

David Mazon, an anthropology student, moves from Paris to La Pierre-Saint-Christophe, a village in the marshlands of western France, to research his thesis on contemporary agrarian life. He is determined to understand the essence of the local culture and spends his time scurrying around on his moped to interview the residents.

David must be made aware of the extraordinary events in an ordinary location. This place, where wars and revolutions once occurred, is now a dancefloor for Death. When something dies, its soul is recycled by the Wheel of Life and thrown back into the world as a microbe, human, or wild animal – sometimes in the past and sometimes in the future. Once a year, Death and the living agree to a temporary truce, during which gravediggers indulge in a three-day feast filled with food, drink, and conversation.

Mathias Énard’s novel, The Annual Banquet of the Gravediggers’ Guild, is a riotous and exciting comic masterpiece that won the prestigious Prix Goncourt award. The novel is set in the French countryside and is filled with Énard’s characteristic wit and encyclopedic brilliance. Against a backdrop of excess, the story blurs the lines between past and present, creating a Rabelaisian world of chaos and humor.


The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

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I receive a commission when you buy a book or product using a link on this page. Thank you for supporting Sharing Jan’s Love blog.



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