Richard W. Brown

Stream of Consciousness!

My random thoughts on Jan, love, grief, life, and all things considered.

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Sleepless

Sleepless in Cranford

Remembering Jan at Camp Widow!When Jan passed away, I did not immediately have trouble sleeping. I’m unsure why this occurred, as I have always had trouble sleeping.

A month after she passed, I entered a period of chronic insomnia.

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Love is a Magical Force!

Whenever I fall in love, I do so with all my heart and soul, leaving no room for half-steps. My love is unconditional and knows no boundaries. My wife knew and accepted me for who I am. Together, Jan and I created a legacy for ages to come.
Elyssa and Mike's Wedding

Elyssa and Mike’s Wedding

Last night, under the twinkling stars and surrounded by the lush greenery of her parents’ Long Island home, Mike and Elyssa exchanged their vows and became husband and wife. Despite the long drive to and from the venue, the wedding was gorgeous, and witnessing the beginning of this new chapter in their lives was heartwarming. Some of my friends who have also lost their spouses were worried about me attending the wedding, fearing it might be too emotional for me. I assured them that I was there not as a widow but as a proud father celebrating my son’s special day. Continue reading →

The Day Jan and I Married!

Our wedding day was a beautiful celebration of love and commitment, shared with our closest family and friends. The special memories we made on that day will always be kept close to our hearts, reminding us of the strong bond between Jan and me.
Jan and Richard Walking

Walking Away From the Island of Grief

Last week I walked 105.62 miles. Not sure if this is anything to celebrate on Independence Day! My doctor is happy I am walking more. Not sure if she would approve of a hundred miles in a week. In my opinion, two-thirds of the miles are for therapy, and the balance for exercise.

This is the daily mileage count:

  • Sunday, June 27 – 16.39 miles
  • Monday, June 28 – 13,77 miles
  • Tuesday, June 29 – 14 miles
  • Wednesday, June 30 – 15.88 miles
  • Thursday, July 1 – 15.01
  • Friday, July 2 – 17.36
  • Saturday, July 3 – 13.21

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Jan and Richard

Jan’s Wedding Ring is Hers

Our wedding rings are straightforward gold bands with overlapping hearts; many people do not consider them wedding symbols.

This morning, she passed away. Someone in the family and the Visiting Nurse asked if I wanted the ring back, and I said no. I called Rabbi Renee to ensure that there was no reason she could not keep her wedding ring, and she said there was no reason she could not keep it.

Jan is still wearing her wedding ring, and I also wear mine every day.

Love never dies.

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Jan and Richard at YWCA Gala

The Last Kiss

Every one of Jan’s kisses was memorable and sweet. Jan has been home for hospice care since April 10th. This morning, I went downstairs to have breakfast, and I walked over to the hospital bed and leaned over to kiss her forehead.

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Jan’s Sweet Kisses

I enjoyed kissing Jan very much! I wish every day I could have just one more kiss from Jan. Out of all the kisses we shared, two are particularly special: the first and the last.
Migrant Mother

Understanding America: 1936-2019

I attended my second class at One Day University on March 9, 2019. Photography has transformed how we see the world. It captures events and transforms them, depicting reality and telling a story. Political ads provide the clearest window into the soul of America’s politics, culture, and history.

The two Professors were excellent. Louis Masur is a Distinguished American Studies and History Professor at Rutgers University. Leonard Steinhorn is a professor of communication and affiliate professor of history at American University.

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Back to the University

For years I have seen the advertisements for One Day University and have waited too long to register. I finally took my first class on February 9, 2019! 250 Years of American Politics in a few hours

Regional Dance Competitions

On Saturday, February 23, 2019, my eight-year-old granddaughter participated in the Regional Competition sponsored by Backstage in Millstone, NJ. Her team from Dancers Pointe performed four routines in the morning, and she did a solo after lunch. I am very proud of her.

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My French Granddaughter

One joy I have found in retirement is spending time with my granddaughter. Every moment with her is a joy. Currently, I pick her from school afternoons a week.

The Jan Lilien Education Fund!

Sleepless
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Elyssa and Mike's Wedding
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Jan and Richard Walking
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Jan and Richard
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Jan and Richard at YWCA Gala
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Migrant Mother
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Sarah's Key

Read: January 2022

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Sarah’s Key

by Tatiana de Rosnay

Sarah’s Key by Tatiana de Rosnay is the untold story of the roundup of the Jews in Paris in July 1942. The novel focuses on how the French were complicit in rounding up thousands of Jews in 1942. It is also a reminder that we can never allow another genocide. I finished this book the day before Holocaust Remembrance Day, January 27, the date on which the Auschwitz-Birkenau concentration and death camp complex was liberated in 1945.

Ten-year-old Sarah is brutally arrested with her family in the Vel’ d’Hiv’ roundup, the most notorious act of French collaboration with the Nazis. But before the police come to take them, Sarah locks her younger brother, Michel, in their favorite hiding place, a cupboard in the family’s apartment. She keeps the key, thinking she will be back within a few hours.

Paris, May 2002: On Vel’ d’Hiv’s sixtieth anniversary, Julia Jarmond, an American journalist, is asked by her Paris-based American magazine to write an article about this black day in France’s past. Julia has lived in Paris for nearly twenty-five years and married a Frenchman, and she is shocked both by her ignorance about the event and the silence that still surrounds it.

The twin narratives of Sarah and Julia hold the first two-thirds of the book together and make it a page-turner. Sarah’s memory reminds us during the final third of the book and ensures that the complete story of the Vel’ d’Hiv’ roundup and its lasting impact are told.

As Goodreads describes the novel,

In the course of her investigation, she stumbles onto a trail of long-hidden family secrets that connects her to Sarah. Julia finds herself compelled to retrace the girl’s ordeal, from the terrible days spent shut in at the Vel’ d’Hiv’ to the camps and beyond. As she probes into Sarah’s past, she begins to question her own place in France and to reevaluate her marriage and her life.

Writing about the fate of her country with a pitiless clarity, Tatiana de Rosnay offers us a brilliantly subtle, compelling portrait of France under occupation and reveals the taboos and denial surrounding this painful episode in French history.

I highly recommend the book.

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1944: FDR and the Year That Changed History

Read: October 2019

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1944: FDR and the Year That Changed History

by Jay Winik

1944: FDR and the Year That Changed History by Jay Winik is a book that I had put off reading several times. When I finally did read it, I could not remember why I had not read it sooner. Had I gone to graduate school and become a professor, it might have been the type of book I might write, and I certainly would have had on my list of books for my classes. 

As The NY Times wrote, “Jay Winik brings to life in gripping detail the year 1944, which determined the outcome of World War II and put more pressure than any other on an ailing yet determined President Roosevelt.” Reading a book about events five years before my birth that transformed the world I live in becomes an easy page-turner.

It was not inevitable that World War II would end as it did or that it would even end well. Nineteen forty-four was a year that could have stymied the Allies and cemented Hitler’s waning power. Instead it saved those democracies – but with a fateful cost. Now, in a superbly told story, Jay Winik, the acclaimed author of April 1865 and The Great Upheaval, captures the epic images and extraordinary history as never before.

1944 witnessed a series of titanic events: FDR at the pinnacle of his wartime leadership as well as his reelection, the planning of Operation Overlord with Churchill and Stalin, the unprecedented D-Day invasion, the liberation of Paris, and the horrific Battle of the Bulge, and the tumultuous conferences that finally shaped the coming peace. But on the way, millions of more lives were still at stake as President Roosevelt was exposed to mounting evidence of the most grotesque crime in history, the Final Solution. Just as the Allies were landing in Normandy, the Nazis were accelerating the killing of millions of European Jews.

Winik shows how escalating pressures fell on an all but dying Roosevelt, whose rapidly deteriorating health was a closely guarded secret. Here then, as with D-Day, was a momentous decision for the president. Was winning the war the best way to rescue the Jews? Was a rescue even possible? Or would it get in the way of defeating Hitler? In a year when even the most audacious undertakings were within the world’s reach, including the liberation of Europe, one challenge – saving Europe’s Jews – seemed to remain beyond Roosevelt’s grasp.

I recommend this book.

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The Hidden Habits of Genius

Read: September 2019

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The Hidden Habits of Genius

by Craig Wright

The Hidden Habits of Genius: Beyond Talent, IQ, and Grit―Unlocking the Secrets of Greatness by Craig Wright, Ph.D., I got through my membership in One Day University.

Dr. Wright raises many important questions as he analyses fourteen (14) critical traits of genius. Professor Craig Wright, creator of Yale University’s famous “Genius Course,” explores what we can learn from brilliant minds that have changed the world.

What we often presume about a genius does not match reality. Among other interesting observations, Dr. Wright reminds the reader that Picasso could not pass a fourth-grade math test, and Steve Jobs’s high school GPA was 2.65. He questions why to teach children to behave and play by the rules when transformative geniuses do not.

Examining the lives of transformative individuals ranging from Charles Darwin and Marie Curie to Leonardo Da Vinci and Andy Warhol to Toni Morrison and Elon Musk, Wright identifies more than a dozen drivers of genius, characteristics and patterns of behavior common to great minds throughout history. He argues that genius is about more than intellect and work ethic and that the famed “eureka” moment is a Hollywood fiction. Brilliant insights that change the world are never sudden, but rather, they are the result of unique modes of thinking and lengthy gestation.

I found the book to be a fascinating read and raised more questions for future thought and reading. Professor Wright argues that the habits of mind that produce great thinking and discovery can be actively learned and cultivated. In the book, he explains how. He notes that reading the book will not make you a genius but can “make you more strategic, creative, and successful, and, ultimately, happier.

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Black River

Read: November 2024

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Black River: A Novel

by Nilanjana S. Roy

Today, I dove into the captivating pages of “Black River” by Nilanjana S. Roy, a standout selection from The New York Times’ 100 Notable Books of 2024. This compelling debut novel unfolds against contemporary India, a country grappling with rising religious intolerance. Roy’s storytelling is nothing short of mesmerizing, intricately weaving a narrative that vividly reflects the nation’s complexities and contradictions.

Teetapur, an unassuming village just a few hours outside bustling Delhi, is known for nothing—until the discovery of an 8-year-old girl named Munia, found dead and hanging from the branch of a Jamun tree. In this predominantly Hindu village, suspicion quickly falls on Mansoor, an itinerant Muslim man. The tension ignites like wildfire, intensified by the underlying religious discord.

The responsibility for uncovering the elusive truth—and preventing the lynching of the prime suspect—falls on the weary shoulders of Sub-Inspector Ombir Singh. With only one other officer under his command and a single working revolver between them, can he bring justice to a grieving father and an angry village? Or will Teetapur demand vengeance instead?

Black River” offers readers a gripping mystery and a sweeping analysis of the nation’s state, serving as a searing critique of modern India.



When you purchase a book through one of my links, I earn a small commission that helps support my passion for reading. This contribution allows me to buy even more books to share with you, creating an incredible cycle of discovering great reads together! Your support truly makes a difference!


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Interpreter of Maladies

Read: June 2022

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Interpreter of Maladies

by Jhumpa Lahiri

Interpreter of Maladies by Jhumpa Lahiri is an incredible book. Each short story is a page-turner that I will re-read many times. As Ms. Lahiri writes, “The question of identity is always a difficult one, but especially so for those who are culturally displaced, as immigrants are, or those who grow up in two worlds simultaneously, as is the case for their children.”

Since 2000, Interpreter of Maladies has been on my reading list. For what is a writer, if not an interpreter of maladies? Perhaps, I waited until now so that I would have grief to help guide me thru this collection of short stories. I highly recommend Interpreter of Maladies.

The Goodreads summary provides a concise overview.

Navigating between the Indian traditions they’ve inherited and the baffling new world, the characters in Jhumpa Lahiri’s elegant, touching stories seek love beyond the barriers of culture and generations. In “A Temporary Matter,” published in The New Yorker, a young Indian-American couple faces the heartbreak of a stillborn birth. At the same time, their Boston neighborhood copes with a nightly blackout. In the title story, an interpreter guides an American family through the India of their ancestors and hears an astonishing confession. Lahiri writes with deft cultural insight reminiscent of Anita Desai and a nuanced depth that recalls Mavis Gallant.


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I receive a commission when you buy a book or product using a link on this page. Thank you for supporting Sharing Jan’s Love blog.

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A Matter of Death and Life

Read: December 2024

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A Matter of Death and Life

by Irvin D. Yalom and Marilyn Yalom

Today, I embarked on an emotional journey with “A Matter of Death and Life” by Irvin D. Yalom and Marilyn Yalom. This poignant narrative follows the renowned psychiatrist and his talented writer wife as they navigate a year filled with profound reflection following her terminal diagnosis. I received this thoughtful gift from my son Mike and his family, which makes it all the more special.

As the year winds down, I’m excited to say that this will be the final book I dive into in 2024 and will also mark the beginning of my reading adventures in 2025! Irwin and Marylin Yalom‘s exploration of love and living without regret is touching and inspiring, reminding me of the journey my wife and I took after her diagnosis of lymphoma in August 2019.

Irvin Yalom, an internationally acclaimed psychiatrist and author, dedicated his career to counseling those suffering from anxiety and grief. However, he had never faced the need to counsel himself until his wife, the esteemed feminist author Marilyn Yalom, was diagnosed with cancer. In A Matter of Death and Life,” the Yaloms share how they confronted profound new struggles: Marilyn aimed to die a good death, while Irv sought to continue living without her.

Through alternating accounts of their last months together and Irv’s first months alone, they provide a rare window into facing mortality and coping with the loss of a beloved partner. The Yaloms enjoyed a loving family, a home in Palo Alto under a magnificent valley oak, a large circle of friends, avid readers worldwide, and a long, fulfilling marriage. Yet, they faced death, as we all do. With the wisdom acquired over two lifetimes and the familiar warmth of teenage sweethearts who grew up together, they explore universal questions of intimacy, love, and grief.

Informed by their extensive life experiences, “A Matter of Death and Life” is an open-hearted offering to anyone seeking support, solace, and a meaningful life.



When you purchase a book through one of my links, I earn a small commission that helps support my passion for reading. This contribution allows me to buy even more books to share with you, creating an incredible cycle of discovering great reads together! Your support truly makes a difference!


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