Richard W. Brown

Stream of Consciousness!

My random thoughts on Jan, love, grief, life, and all things considered.

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Celebrate Jan

April Showers Set the Stage for Jan’s Birthday

April Showers Set the Stage for Jan's Birthday

Artwork graciously provided by Emi Sato.

Since Jan turned twenty-four in 1974, I have celebrated her birthday.

As my birthday is next to the last day of March, I would always say to her on April 1st; now we can celebrate your birthday all month.

She protested that her birthday was not all that important. I always disagreed.

This year, her birthday is a chance for family and friends to come together in Hanson Park to celebrate her life as we dedicate her living memorial.

Jan’s birthday means so very much to our family this year. It began as a tree and is now so much more than that. Please join us.

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Luky Us

Luky Us

Lucky Us by Amy Bloom is a book that hooked me on the opening line - “My father’s wife died. My mother said we should drive down to his place and see what might be in it for us.” Having surpassed my Goodreads 2022 reading goal, I wanted a lite, historical fiction book and found this one in the e-library. I enjoyed reading it and highly recommend it. 

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Last walk on the beach

Jan’s Love Guides Me Every Day!

Celebrate JanIt has been a year since Jan and I had our last conversation.

Twelve months have gone by so quickly that it is challenging to accept how long it has been since we last spoke.

Her words of wisdom still fill my heart with joy, and every time I am unsure of which way to go, I ask What Would Jan Do?

She always guides me, even if her voice is silent.

I still miss the vibrant communication that was the core of the relationship since we met.

Her love will never die; it only grows stronger every day!

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Another Day, Another Decade Older

Another Day, Another Decade Older

Celebrate JanWhile washing my face with only cold water, I wonder who that older man is looking at me in the mirror.

Unfortunately, I am that ancient man.

The only time I sense that my hair was once red is when it is wet. Even then, it is a hint of color hidden by gray hair.

My eyes are hollow and have permanent black eyes.

Only a year ago, Jan was beside me celebrating my birthday. Now I am alone and have aged a decade in twelve months.

If love never dies, why am I aging so fast?

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Loving Jan

Memories of Spring 2019

Celebrate JanJan and I always enjoyed Spring.

As we walked into the Convention Center in early March 2019 to attend the Philadelphia Flower Show, we breathed in Spring despite Jan’s aversion to pollen.

This short Apple Photos memory was the last year we attended. COVID and lymphoma kept us home the following year.

Other events in the video include:

Little did we know it would be the last healthy Spring we would have together. Love never dies; it only grows stronger every day.

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Introducing my Friends to Jan

Zoom Friends are Real Friends

Celebrate JanThe first time I heard the phrase Zoom Friends, it sounded as oxymoronic as Facebook friends.

After almost a year in Zoom grief groups, I have changed my opinion.

Research by Jeffrey Hall, an expert in the psychology of friendship, has quantified that “it takes 45-hours of presence in another person’s company to move from acquaintance to friend.”

Although our contact on Zoom is in Hollywood Squares boxes, my fellow widows in my groups have surpassed the 45-hour timeframe and have become close friends.

They will never replace Jan, but they have filled a void and helped me survive the first eleven months of grief.

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Every Day Is a New Beginning

Every Day Is a New Beginning

Celebrate JanI am an optimist by nature. Since Jan died, my faith has been tested.

Despite my doubts, I wake up every morning, take a deep breath, smile and start as if today will be different.

If every day is a new beginning, why do most days seem like the day before?

How long can I live if life is monotonous?

I wipe away tears that have yet to leave my eyes and proceed as if today will be different. I know that Jan will be with me, and our love will never die.

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The Jan Lilien Education Fund!

Celebrate Jan
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Luky Us

Read: March 2022

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Lucky Us: A Novel

by Amy Bloom

Having surpassed my Goodreads 2022 reading goal, I wanted a lite, historical fiction book and found this one in the e-library. Lucky Us by Amy Bloom is a book that hooked me on the opening line – “My father’s wife died. My mother said we should drive down to his place and see what might be in it for us.” I enjoyed reading it and highly recommend it.

The first section in Hollywood was the one I found less appealing. Partly that is because I identified with Eva, and she does not fulfill her leading role until the last two sections. Its depiction of how people survived the way years by sometimes is a reminder of our inner resilience.

Goodreads provides the following summary.

So begins this remarkable novel by Amy Bloom, whose critically acclaimed Away was called “a literary triumph” (The New York Times). Lucky Us is a brilliantly written, deeply moving, fantastically funny novel of love, heartbreak, and luck.

Disappointed by their families, Iris, the hopeful star and Eva the sidekick, journey through 1940s America in search of fame and fortune. Iris’s ambitions take the pair across the America of Reinvention in a stolen station wagon, from small-town Ohio to an unexpected and sensuous Hollywood, and to the jazz clubs and golden mansions of Long Island.

With their friends in high and low places, Iris and Eva stumble and shine through a landscape of big dreams, scandals, betrayals, and war. Filled with gorgeous writing, memorable characters, and surprising events, Lucky Us is a thrilling and resonant novel about success and failure, good luck and bad, the creation of a family, and the pleasures and inevitable perils of family life, conventional and otherwise. From Brooklyn’s beauty parlors to London’s West End, a group of unforgettable people love, lie, cheat, and survive in this story of our fragile, absurd, heroic species.

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Last walk on the beach
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Another Day, Another Decade Older
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Loving Jan
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Introducing my Friends to Jan
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Every Day Is a New Beginning
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What Will People Think?

Read: June 2025

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What Will People Think?

by Sara Hamdan

If you’re in the mood for a book that’s equal parts hilarious and heartwarming, look no further than “What Will People Think?” by Sara Hamdan. This captivating tale takes readers on a journey of self-discovery, inviting them to explore the hidden facets of their identity. With its poignant exploration of love in all its many forms, the novel masterfully shows how these connections can truly transform us and inspire personal growth, leaving you inspired and uplifted.

Mia Almas, like many of us, has a secret. By day, she works as a media fact-checker—a role that her conservative Arab grandparents approve of. But by night, she performs at comedy clubs across New York City. Her grandparents’ approval is a significant part of her life, and it’s this conflict between their expectations and her true self that adds depth to her story.

As Mia pursues a forbidden romance with her boss, her standup gets better and bolder, leading to a surprising spotlight that exposes her secret gig. Horrified and worried that her rebellious act could mean significant consequences for her reserved Palestinian-American family, Mia frantically dives into damage control. However, all of her efforts to retreat from the spotlight reveal a family scandal from the 1940s that could alter everything, adding unexpected twists to her story.

As a hopeless romantic, I found this charming story to be an irresistible page-turner that will leave you both laughing and reflecting long after you’ve turned the last page.


Sara Hamdan, a Berkeley and Columbia graduate, is a former Merrill Lynch banker, New York Times journalist, and editor at Google. After winning a Netflix short story award, she received the First Chapter: Emirates Literature Foundation Seddiqi First Chapter Writers’ Fellowship for her debut novel, What Will People Think? Sara is Palestinian American, raised in Greece, and has called Dubai home for twenty years. When she’s not typing away on her laptop, she loves to spend time at the beach with her husband and two kids.



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The Vegetarian: A Novel

Read: October 2024

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The Vegetarian: A Novel

by Han Kang

Today, I started reading The Vegetarian: A Novel by Han Kang, Winner of the 2024 Nobel Prize in Literature. The novel also won The International Booker Prize and is one of The New York Times’s 100 Best Books of the 21st Century. Celebrated by critics worldwide, The Vegetarian is a darkly allegorical, Kafka-esque tale of power, obsession, and one woman’s struggle to break free from the violence both without and within her.

Before the nightmares began, Yeong-hye and her husband lived an ordinary, controlled life. But the dreams—invasive images of blood and brutality—torture her, driving Yeong-hye to purge her mind and renounce eating meat altogether. It’s a small act of independence, but it interrupts her marriage and sets into motion an increasingly grotesque chain of events at home.

As her husband, her brother-in-law, and her sister each fight to reassert their control, Yeong-hye obsessively defends the choice that’s become sacred to her. Soon, their attempts turn desperate, subjecting first her mind and then her body to ever more intrusive and perverse violations, sending Yeong-hye spiraling into a dangerous, bizarre estrangement, not only from those closest to her but also from herself.


Han Kang was born in 1970 in South Korea. She is the author of The Vegetarian, which I have read, and winner of the International Booker Prize,  Human Acts, The White Book, Greek Lessons, and We Do Not Part. In 2024, she received the Nobel Prize in Literature.



When you purchase a book through one of my links, I earn a small commission that helps support my passion for reading. This contribution allows me to buy even more books to share with you, creating an incredible cycle of discovering great reads together! Your support truly makes a difference!


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Something About Living

Read: November 2024

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Something About Living

by Lena Khalaf Tuffaha

I recently read “Something About Living” by Lena Khalaf Tuffaha, a poet and essayist whose work resonates deeply. The book of poems won the 2024 National Book Award for Poetry and delved into Palestinian life through the lens of the American language, revealing a legacy of obfuscation and erasure. It questions what happens when language packages ongoing disasters for consumption and disposal.

As a Jew supporting a two-state solution, I initially hesitated to read this collection of poems. However, I was pleasantly surprised by the lyrical beauty of the verses, which explore love not just as an emotion but as a transformative force and “a radical act.” Every poem that genuinely resonated with me. “Something About Living” is a book I highly recommend for its depth and insight!

Ms. Khalaf Tuffaha has an incredible literary repertoire; her previous work, “Water & Salt,” earned the esteemed 2018 Washington State Book Award, while “Kaan & Her Sisters” was a finalist for the Firecracker Award. In addition, “Something About Living” also received the 2022 Akron Prize for Poetry. I’m excited to explore her profound insights and lyrical mastery!

Adrian Matejka, the author of “Somebody Else Sold the World,” has written about “Something About Living,”

“It’s nearly impossible to write poetry that simultaneously holds the human desire for joy and the insistent agitations of protest, but Lena Khalaf Tuffaha‘s gorgeous and wide-ranging new collection Something About Living does just that. Her poems interweave Palestine’s historic suffering, the challenges of living in this world full of violence and ill will, and the gentle delights we embrace to survive that violence. Khalaf Tuffaha’s elegant poems sing the fractured songs of Diaspora while remaining clear-eyed to the cause of the fracturing: the multinational hubris of colonialism and greed. This collection is her witness to our collective unraveling, vowel by vowel, syllable by syllable. “Let the plural be a return of us,” the speaker of “On the Thirtieth Friday We Consider Plurals” says and this plurality is our tenuous humanity and the deep need to hang on to kindness in our communities. In these poems Khalaf Tuffaha reminds us that love isn’t an idea; it is a radical act. Especially for those who, like this poet, travel through the world vigilantly, but steadfastly remain heart first.



When you purchase a book through one of my links, I earn a small commission that helps support my passion for reading. This contribution allows me to buy even more books to share with you, creating an incredible cycle of discovering great reads together! Your support truly makes a difference!


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American Bulk

Read: February 2026

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American Bulk: Essays on Excess

by Emily Mester

In a series of deeply personal essays, Emily Mester‘s “American Bulk” examines how the things we buy, eat, accumulate, and discard become integral parts of our lives. We often guiltily watch Amazon boxes pile up on the porch, sift through countless reviews to find the perfect product, and crave the familiar comfort of a chain restaurant. With humor and sharp insight, Mester reflects on the joys and anxieties of Costco trips, how a seasonal job at Ulta Beauty taught her the subtle art of sales, and what it means to feel “mall sad.”

In a nuanced exploration of diet culture and body image, Mester shares her experience at a fat camp during her teenage summer and the unexpected sense of liberation she discovered there. Finally, she travels to Storm Lake, Iowa, to confront her grandmother’s abandoned hoard, unraveling the dysfunction at the heart of her family’s obsession with material possessions. American Bulk introduces readers to an impressive new literary voice from the American heartland, urging us to view consumption not with guilt, but with grace and empathy.


Emily Mester is a writer from the suburban Midwest, where her family shopped at Costco every Sunday. She earned an MFA in nonfiction from the University of Iowa, where she received the Prairie Lights Nonfiction Prize. Currently, she resides in New York.



Discover your next favorite book and dive into a world of curated, exciting reads by purchasing through my links. You’ll have access to a diverse selection of books that I’ve personally vetted to ensure quality and enjoyment. Additionally, by supporting these selections, you’ll help me continue to provide you with more personalized recommendations. I earn a small commission from your purchase, which allows me to buy and share even more books with you. Your support truly makes a difference!


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This Is Not About Us

Read: February 2026

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This Is Not About Us

by Allegra Goodman

In This Is Not About Us, master storyteller Allegra Goodman—who received praise for her previous collection in the Boston Globe as “one of the most astute and engaging books about American family life“—explores familiar themes and styles that have captivated countless readers. The New York Times has listed it as one of “The Novels Everyone Will Be Talking About in 2026.”

When their beloved sister passes away, Sylvia and Helen Rubinstein are unmoored. A misunderstanding about apple cake turns into a decade of stubborn silence. Busy with their own lives—divorces, dating, career setbacks, college applications, bat mitzvahs, and ballet recitals—their children do not want to get involved. As for their grandchildren? Impossible.

Sharply observed and laced with humor, This Is Not About Us is a story of growing up and growing old, the weight of parental expectations, and the complex connection between sisters—a big-hearted book about the love that binds a family across generations.


Allegra Goodman is the author of seven novels, including the national bestseller Isola, selected as a Reese’s Book Club pick. She has also written two collections of short stories and a novel for young readers. Her fiction has appeared in The New Yorker and elsewhere, and anthologized in The O. Henry Awards and Best American Short Stories. She lives with her family in Cambridge, Massachusetts.



Discover your next favorite book and dive into a world of curated, exciting reads by purchasing through my links. You’ll have access to a diverse selection of books that I’ve personally vetted to ensure quality and enjoyment. Additionally, by supporting these selections, you’ll help me continue to provide you with more personalized recommendations. I earn a small commission from your purchase, which allows me to buy and share even more books with you. Your support truly makes a difference!


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The Book of I

Read: October 2025

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The Book of I: A Novel

by David Greig

“The Book of I” by David Greig is a remarkable debut novel from Scotland, shortlisted for both the Highland Book Prize and the Bookmark Book Festival Book of the Year. This unique work offers a philosophical exploration of themes such as guilt, redemption, humanity, love, and the beliefs we hold dear. Told with humor and enhanced by sharply vivid dialogue, David Greig skillfully bridges the gap between our contemporary world and the past.

Set in the year 825 CE, the story unfolds in the aftermath of a brutal attack by northern raiders, leaving an unlikely trio as the sole survivors on a remote Scottish island. The survivors include Brother Martin, a young monk who is the only member of the local monastery to escape martyrdom; Una, a beekeeper and mead maker who has freed herself from her violent husband during the chaos; and Grimur, an aging Norseman who digs himself out of a makeshift grave where his fellow raiders had left him, believing him to be dead.

As the seasons change in this wild and isolated environment, their initial distrust of one another evolves into a complex exploration of the distances and connections among them. “The Book of I” is a unique novel that serves as a philosophical commentary on guilt, redemption, humanity, love, and the beliefs we choose to embrace.


David Greig is a renowned Scottish writer whose plays have been performed extensively across the UK and internationally. His notable works for the theatre include The Strange Undoing of Prudencia Hart, Touching the Void, Midsummer, The Events, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, Local Hero, and Macbeth (also known as Dunsinane). He served as the Artistic Director of Edinburgh’s Lyceum Theatre from 2015 to 2025. The Book of I marks his debut novel.



Discover your next favorite book and dive into a world of curated, exciting reads by purchasing through my links. You’ll have access to a diverse selection of books that I’ve personally vetted to ensure quality and enjoyment. Additionally, by supporting these selections, you’ll help me continue to provide you with more personalized recommendations. I earn a small commission from your purchase, which allows me to buy and share even more books with you. Your support truly makes a difference!


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