I started reading "Beautyland: A Novel" by Marie-Helene Bertino today. The novel is about the fragility and resilience of life on Earth and in our universe. It tells the story of a baby born with extraordinary perception to a single mother in Philadelphia when Voyager 1 embarks on its interstellar journey. As we follow Adina Giorno's growth, we witness her awakening to her exceptional nature—a profound understanding of a distant planet.
Grief Was a Flawed and Fractured Mirror
We Are More Than The Worst Day of Our Lives
Estimated reading time: 1 minute, 45 secondsI finished reading ‘Beautyland: A Novel‘ by Marie-Helene Bertino today. The book, with its profound exploration of the fragility and resilience of life on Earth and in our universe, evokes a deep sense of empathy. The protagonist, Adina Giorno, is an alien who reports on human life through a fax machine. One of her observations struck a chord with me. “Grief is a bad mirror. It shows you manipulated images of yourself, your will, and the future. It cannot show you how your small work will add up to yourself. Inch by inch.”
As I delved into the book’s grief exploration, I reflected on my experiences. ‘Beautyland‘ doesn’t offer immediate solace in the face of grief but provides a lens through which to view it. It invites readers to contemplate the nature of grief and its significance in our lives, fostering a profound introspection. It was the perfect read to gain insight and closure now that I have moved past that difficult period.
In the first days of mourning, I felt more like Andrea Cohen‘s poem, in The Sorrow Apartments, The Refusal to Mourn:
In lieu of flowers,
send him back.
In the bewildering moments following my wife’s passing, the yearning to have her back was overwhelming. I would have gone to any lengths or paid any price to bring her back to me.
The imperfect reflection of sorrow can prevent us from realizing how each small step changes us. Starting my day with a walk, reading more than ever, becoming more involved in my faith community, engaging with others, building her memorial garden in Hanson Park, and working with Bridges were small steps.
But together, they added up and helped me to stop grieving and start living. When I began my journey of self-discovery and growth, I was surprised that I inspired others. Even though I may occasionally question my faith, I knew that my grief experience had taught me valuable lessons and helped me become the best version of myself.
Despite the deep and abiding pain of missing my beloved wife daily, I have come to understand that it is essential that I continue living and finding joy in the present moment.
Beautyland: A Novel
We Are More Than The Worst Day of Our Lives
Estimated reading time: 1 minute, 45 seconds
