Gratitude for All of Life's Blessings

Gratitude for All of Life’s Blessings

Estimated reading time: 1 minute, 38 seconds

Jan, the love of my lifeThanksgiving has been my favorite holiday since I was a child.

It is not the large table of food that made me prefer this holiday.

Thanksgiving is a collective day to express our interdependence and gratitude for the blessings we have been granted.

In his proclamation almost a century and a half ago, Abraham Lincoln established a holiday amid war “to observe the last Thursday of November next, as a day of Thanksgiving and Praise to our beneficent Father who dwelleth in the Heavens.”

As a widow, I am often asked what I have to be grateful for. I am now and always will be grateful to have been loved by Jan to love her.

In addition, as Rabbi Jack Riemer wrote in this prayer, after 9/11,

Let us express our gratitude using these written words or our own.
We are thankful for the freedom from hunger.
We are thankful for the freedom to worship.
We are thankful for the freedom to challenge our minds.
We are thankful for the freedom to change our minds.
We are thankful for the freedom to chart our lives.
We are thankful for the freedom to work for a better world.
We are thankful for the freedom to celebrate this day.

We pray for our country, for the men and women who are protecting our freedom today, and for the day when this nation and the entire world will know peace.

May we all be blessed today and every day with the freedom to love and be loved.


The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

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Gratitude for Grief

When I mention that I am grateful for experiencing grief, the response is, how can you be grateful for losing the love of your life?

My response is that we were the love of my life, and I wish she was still alive, but grief is a part of my life that I must experience.

If I had loved Jan less, I would grieve less.

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Gratitude for All of Life's Blessings

From a Distance - Bette Midler

Estimated reading time: 1 minute, 38 seconds

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Gratitude for All of Life's Blessings
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Gratitude for All of Life's Blessings
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The Ten Year Affair

Read: November 2025

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The Ten Year Affair

by Erin Somers

The Ten Year Affair” by Erin Somers is a witty and emotionally charged exploration of marriage, family life, and the paths not taken, ultimately asking: Do we really want our fantasies to come true? This hilariously sharp novel weaves a sliding doors narrative around a chance meeting between two young parents, both happily married (just not to each other), that sparks a will-they-won’t-they romance—perfect for fans of “Big Swiss” and “Acts of Service.”

When Cora meets Sam at a baby group in their small town, the chemistry between them is undeniable. Both are content in their marriages and have two kids, and neither sees themselves as the type to engage in an affair. Yet, their connection deepens, and as their lives intertwine, the romantic tension becomes all-consuming—until their worlds unravel into two parallel timelines. In one, they pursue their feelings; in the other, they resist.

As reality splits, the everyday details of Cora’s life—her unfulfilling marketing job, her daughter’s newfound fascination with the afterlife, and her husband’s obsession with podcasts about the history of rope—gain fresh perspective. The intersecting and diverging timelines blur the boundaries between reality and fantasy, questioning what might have been and what truly matters.


Erin Somers is a reporter and news editor at Publishers Lunch. Her debut novel, “Stay Up with Hugo Best“, was recognized as a Vogue Best Book of the Year in 2019. Her work has appeared in esteemed publications such as The New Yorker, The Paris Review, The New York Times Book Review, The New Republic, New York magazine, The Atlantic, Esquire, GQ, and Best American Short Stories, among others.

Somers has received an Emerging Writer Fellowship from the NYC Center for Fiction, a fellowship from the Millay Colony, and was a finalist for a National Magazine Award in 2020. She resides in New York’s Hudson Valley with her family.



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Chain Gang All Stars

Read: December 2023

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Chain Gang All Stars

by Nana Kwame Adjei-Brenyah

Today, I started reading “Chain Gang All Stars” by Nana Kwame Adjei-Brenyah. The story revolves around Loretta Thurwar and Hamara “Hurricane Staxxx” Stacker, the main characters of the Chain-Gang All-Stars, a highly controversial and top-rated program in America’s private prison industry. The program is called Criminal Action Penal Entertainment (CAPE), where prisoners compete for the ultimate prize- their freedom. It’s similar to the return of the gladiators but in a modern-day setting.

The story is set in a prison called CAPE, where inmates are forced to participate in death matches as a part of a chain-gang. These matches are held in front of cheering crowds, while the prison authorities claim it to be a righteous act. Among the participants, Thurwar and Staxxx are the most popular as they are also lovers. Thurwar is just a few matches away from her freedom, which she carries with a heavy heart and lethal hammer. Thurwar contemplates how she can help her fellow inmates preserve their humanity despite being forced into these brutal games. However, the owners of CAPE are determined to safeguard their status quo, and they will go to extreme lengths to stop anyone who challenges them. Thurwar’s attempts to resist the system have devastating consequences.

Chain-Gang All-Stars” is a powerful book that sheds light on the American prison system’s problematic alliance with systemic racism, unchecked capitalism, and mass incarceration. It critically examines the situation from various perspectives, from the Links in the field to the protestors, the CAPE employees, and beyond. The book offers a clear-eyed reckoning of what freedom really means in America. It is a noteworthy contribution from a “new and necessary American voice,” as described by Tommy Orange in The New York Times Book Review.


The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Regarding gifts made this month, I will match dollar for dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

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The Brighter the Light

Read: June 2022

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The Brighter the Light

by Mary Ellen Taylor

The Brighter the Light by Mary Ellen Taylor was my eighty-ninth book since the beginning of 2019. After reading about Thomas Cromwell, I needed a change of pace. With the start of the Hurricane season, it seemed as good a time as any to read a novel by a fellow Southerner. That the book is also an “evocative dual-timeline novel detailing one woman’s journey to discover the hidden stories of her family’s seaside resort” seemed a perfect match.

I highly recommend this book. As a Southerner, I found the revealing of the hidden secrets accomplished in a style that makes this a page-turner.

The Goodreads summary provides an overview.

When a shipwreck surfaces, old secrets are sure to follow.

Or so goes the lore in Ivy Neale’s hometown of Nags Head, North Carolina. When Ivy inherits her family’s beachfront cottage upon her grandmother’s death, she knows returning to Nags Head means facing the best friend and the boyfriend who betrayed her years ago.

But then a winter gale uncovers the shipwreck of local legend—and Ivy soon begins to stumble across more skeletons in the closet than just her own. Amid the cottage’s clutter are clues from her grandmother’s past at the enchanting seaside resort her family once owned. One fateful summer in 1950, the arrival of a dazzling singer shook the staff and guests alike—and not everyone made it to fall.

As Ivy contends with broken relationships and a burgeoning romance in the present, the past threatens to sweep her away. But as she uncovers the strength of her grandmother and the women who came before her, she realizes she is like the legendary shipwreck: the sands may shift around her, but she has found her home here by the sea.


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When She Woke

Read: August 2022

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When She Woke

by Hillary Jordan

When She Woke, a fable about a stigmatized woman struggling to navigate an America of a not-too-distant future by Hillary Jordan, Bellwether Prize WinnerHannah Payne, the protagonist, embarks on a path of self-discovery that forces her to question the values she once held and the righteousness of a country that politicizes faith. The premise of When She Woke seems to be happening as I read the novel. It is also the one hundred books I have read since the beginning of 2019 and the forty-fifth this year.

Hannah Payne, like Hester Prynne, is attacked for her actions by extreme religious beliefs. Instead of wearing a scarlet letter, Hannah’s chroming (i.e., having her skin altered) makes her skin red from head to toe. The chroming might have been a good theme for a science fiction novel. Still, Ms. Jordan has written a captivating book in which Hannah confronts who she is and, after questioning the values she once had, discovers that Hannah is more vital than she believed she could be.

I highly recommend this novel.

As Ms. Jordan describes the book,

Hannah Payne’s life has been devoted to church and family. But after she’s convicted of murder, she awakens to a nightmare: she finds herself lying on a table in a solitary confinement cell, her skin turned bright red. Cameras are broadcasting her every move to millions at home, for whom observing newly made “Chromes”—criminals whose skin color has been genetically altered to reflect their crime—is a sinister form of entertainment. Hannah is a Red, a murderess. The victim, says the state of Texas, was her unborn child, and she’s determined to protect the identity of the father, a public figure with whom she shared a fierce and forbidden love.

A powerful reimagining of The Scarlet Letter, When She Woke is a timely fable about a stigmatized woman struggling to navigate a dystopian America. In this not-too-distant future, the line between church and state has been eradicated and convicted felons are no longer imprisoned, but “chromed” and released back into the population to survive as best they can.

As she seeks a path to safety in an alien and hostile world, Hannah unknowingly embarks on a journey of self-discovery that forces her to question the values she once held true and the righteousness of a country that politicizes faith and love.


The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. All donations are tax-deductible.

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Lucy by the Sea: A Novel

Read: November 2022

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Lucy by the Sea: A Novel

by Elizabeth Strout

Lucy by the Sea: A Novel by Elizabeth Strout is a poignant, pitch-perfect novel about a divorced couple stuck together during lockdown–and the love, loss, despair, and hope that animate us even as the world seems to be falling apart. Having lost Jan during Covid, I was apprehensive about reading this book. However, it was not only a page-turner but also a novel that gave me a new perspective on loss which helped me manage my grief.

With her trademark spare, crystalline prose, Elizabeth Strout turns her exquisitely tuned eye to the inner workings of the human heart, following the indomitable heroine of My Name Is Lucy Barton through the early days of the pandemic.

I highlighted several passages that specifically spoke to me.

We all live with people—and places—and things—that we have given great weight to. But we are weightless, in the end.

Who knows why people are different? We are born with a certain nature, I think. And then the world takes its swings at us.

It has been said that the second year of widowhood is worse than the first—the idea being, I think, that the shock has worn off and now one has to live with the loss, and I had been finding that to be true, even before I came to Maine with William. But now there were times I felt that I was just learning of David’s death again for the first time. And I would be privately staggered by grief. And to be in this place where David had never been (!)—I was really dislocated is what I mean.

And I also understood: Grief is a private thing. God, is it a private thing.

We are all in lockdown, all the time. We just don’t know it, that’s all. But we do the best we can. Most of us are just trying to get through.

The Goodreads summary provides an overview,

As a panicked world goes into lockdown, Lucy Barton is uprooted from her life in Manhattan and bundled away to a small town in Maine by her ex-husband and on-again, off-again friend, William. For the next several months, it’s just Lucy, William, and their complex past together in a little house nestled against the moody, swirling sea.

Rich with empathy and emotion, Lucy by the Sea vividly captures the fear and struggles that come with isolation, as well as the hope, peace, and possibilities that those long, quiet days can inspire. At the heart of this story are the deep human connections that unite us even when we’re apart–the pain of a beloved daughter’s suffering, the emptiness that comes from the death of a loved one, the promise of a new friendship, and the comfort of an old, enduring love.


The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

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I receive a commission when you buy a book or product using a link on this page. Thank you for supporting Sharing Jan’s Love blog.

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Lessons in Chemistry

Read: January 2023

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Lessons in Chemistry: A Novel

by Bonnie Garmus

Lessons in Chemistry: A Novel by Bonnie Garmus is a must-read book as it reimagines the gender dynamics of the 1950s and early 1960s. Elizabeth Zott, a chemist, struggles in a male-dominated world where her work is not taken seriously until she meets Calvin Evans. She describes their relationship, “Calvin and I were soulmates,” like Jan and I viewed ours.

What underlies their love affair was “a mutual respect for the other’s capabilities.” “Do you know how extraordinary that is?” she said. That a man would treat his lover’s work as seriously as his own?” Of course, every relationship should be based on the same dynamics, but even after seventy years, we still struggle to achieve equality in our society.

I highly recommend this novel. Reading the story, the Zott/Evans relationship reminded me of the love that Jan and I shared. I know that Jan would have loved this book.

Laugh-out-loud funny, shrewdly observant, and studded with a dazzling cast of supporting characters, Lessons in Chemistry is as original and vibrant as its protagonist. Like Jan, Elizabeth Zott, the protagonist, would be the first to point out that there is no such thing as an average woman. Chemist Elizabeth Zott is not your average woman.

Although Jan and Elizabeth had much in common, I felt Madeline (aka Mad), Elizabeth’s daughter, was Jan’s alter ego in this novel. Jan was smart and ahead of her classmates, just like Mad was. She was breaking barriers when she was Mad’s age.

I also connected to Six Thirty, the dog. Like Oscar, Six Thirty was more intelligent than the average dog.

Lessons in Chemistry has been the number one best-selling book in the New York Times for thirty-four weeks.

The Goodreads summary provides an overview,

It’s the early 1960s and Elizabeth Zott’s all-male team at Hastings Research Institute takes a very unscientific view of equality. Except for one: Calvin Evans, the lonely, brilliant, Nobel–prize-nominated grudge-holder who falls in love with—of all things—her mind. True chemistry results.

But like science, life is unpredictable. Which is why a few years later Elizabeth Zott finds herself not only a single mother, but the reluctant star of America’s most beloved cooking show Supper at Six. Elizabeth’s unusual approach to cooking (“combine one tablespoon acetic acid with a pinch of sodium chloride”) proves revolutionary. But as her following grows, not everyone is happy. Because as it turns out, Elizabeth Zott isn’t just teaching women to cook. She’s daring them to change the status quo.


The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

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I receive a commission when you buy a book or product using a link on this page. Thank you for supporting Sharing Jan’s Love blog.



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