Gratitude for Grief
Estimated reading time: 1 minute, 46 seconds
When I mention that I am grateful for experiencing grief, the response is, how can you be thankful for losing the love of your life?
My response is that Jan was the love of my life, and I wish she were still alive, but grief is a part of my life that I must experience.
If I had loved Jan less, I would grieve less.
That I can grieve so deeply is a testament to how much Jan and I loved each other.
A fellow widow recently shared the podcast All There Is with Anderson Cooper, a deeply “personal exploration of loss and grief.”
The specific episode was an interview with Stephen Colbert.
As Colbert says,
It’s a gift to exist. And with existence comes suffering. There’s no escaping that. But if you are grateful for your life. Then you have to be grateful for all of it.
I am and always will be suffering over the loss of the love of my life, but I remain grateful for the beautiful life that Jan and I shared.
Colbert comprehends what grief is,
We don’t want bad things to happen, whereas grief is not a bad thing. Grief is a reaction to a bad thing. Grief itself is a natural process that has to be experienced. I haven’t used the word endured because endured sounds like resistance. And you can’t win against grief because you’re the one doing it to you. You can’t beat yourself. You know all of your buttons, you know all of your secrets, and you’ll never get around this grief.
Every day I experience grief. But I am grateful for having been loved by Jan, and I know our love will never die!
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Forever Grateful for Jan’s Love
I glanced at the coffee table and picked up Evergreen by Kirsten Robinson, and in the cold emptiness of my home, I read her poem about giving thanks. With a heart full of gratitude, I tied my shoes and walked in the darkness until the light filled my heart and illuminated my life path.
The book Never Forget Our People Were Always Free is told through parables. It features intimate glimpses of political and faith leaders such as Jack Kemp, Stacey Abrams, and the late Archbishop Desmond Tutu. The book also highlights unlikely heroes such as a retired constable, a female pirate from Madagascar, a long-lost Irishman, a death row inmate, and a man with a Confederate flag over his heart.
