About Richard W. Brown

After almost 48 years, I recently lost my wife, Jan Lilien. Like The Little Prince, Jan and I believed that “The most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or touched, they are felt with the heart.” This blog is a collection of my random thoughts on love, grief, life, and all things considered.

Can I, An Ordinary Man,
Serve and Bless?

During the last Friday night service in May, when we commemorated Jan’s Yarhzeit, Rav Uri shared a passage about the valuable lessons that grief can teach us. It wasn’t the first time I had heard the passage, and I’ve used it in a post or stream before. He spoke about how grief can be a great teacher, leading us to serve and bless the living, offer counsel and comfort to the grieving, know when to keep silent, and offer words of love and concern. As many of my friends and readers know, I find comfort in reading, writing, walking, and worshiping, seeking to absorb as much wisdom as possible.

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Discovering Altruism as the Antidote to Love and Grief

“Can you please hold on for a moment? I need to make a quick phone call,” she asked. With my hand over the mouthpiece, I asked for a minute to handle the call. Since moving into Clara Martini’s Mansion, a one-bedroom place without heat or hot water, I had encouraged my colleagues to rent the larger apartment next door. Allowing their apartment to use the same phone number as mine was how I treated others as cousins. Until late November, I had not felt the need to make any calls, and the number of times people called for me could be counted on one hand. However, after meeting Jan, I constantly wanted to talk to her. What was supposed to be a minute-long interruption turned into over an hour. I realized that instead of being a considerate neighbor, I had selfishly focused only on my needs.

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Publicly Mourning
Helped Me to Learn and Grow

It has been almost thirty-eight months since my wife passed away. Losing a loved one, particularly a spouse, is an experience no one would wish for. Atul Gawande wrote in “Being Mortal” that we have come to believe that every medical professional has a magic cure to prevent death or postpone it indefinitely. However, the truth is that death is one of the life cycle events encoded in our DNA.

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After Three Years
How Am I Doing?

On a significant note, I participated in the Passport to Wellness Walk this past Saturday, a community fundraising event sponsored by MHANJ. The message on my t-shirt, “Wellness—A Journey Worth Taking,” Resonated deeply. The compass symbol on the shirt, representing the essential elements of wellness, was a powerful reminder that we’re all on this journey together, striving for balance in physical, intellectual, emotional, spiritual, environmental, financial, occupational, and social aspects of life.

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The Jan Lilien Education Fund!

The Garden of Letters

Read: June 2021

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The Garden of Letters

by son Richman

The Garden of Letters by Alyson Richman was one of the first books I read after Jan died. It was the perfect love story to read after the loss of the love of my life. The love Jan and I shared was because we shared a portion of the soul of the other, and thus we were meant for each other from day one. 

The two primary characters – Elodie Bertolotti and Angelo Rosselli – resonated with me as they were also people who shared souls. The book “captures the hope, suspense, and romance of an uncertain era, in an epic intertwining story of first love, great tragedy, and spectacular bravery.

As I turned every page, the story filled my heart with love and happiness as it reminded me of the love that Jan and I shared.

Portofino, Italy, 1943. A young woman steps off a boat in a scenic coastal village. Although she knows how to disappear in a crowd, Elodie is too terrified to slip by the German officers while carrying her poorly forged identity papers. She is frozen until a man she’s never met before claims to know her. In desperate need of shelter, Elodie follows him back to his home on the cliffs of Portofino.

Only months before, Elodie Bertolotti was a cello prodigy in Verona, unconcerned with world events. But when Mussolini’s Fascist regime strikes her family, Elodie is drawn into the burgeoning resistance movement by Luca, a young and passionate bookseller. As the occupation looms, she discovers that her unique musical talents, and her courage, have the power to save lives.

In Portofino, young doctor Angelo Rosselli gives the frightened and exhausted girl sanctuary. He is a man with painful secrets of his own, haunted by guilt and remorse. But Elodie’s arrival has the power to awaken a sense of hope that Angelo thought was lost to him forever.

I not only recommend this book, but I am also looking forward to reading more of her novels.

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Dream Count

Read: March 2025

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Dream Count: A Novel

by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie

Today, I dove into “Dream Count” by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, and I couldn’t be more excited! A decade in the making, this novel promises to be a captivating journey. Known for her bestselling works like “Americanah” and “We Should All Be Feminists,” Adichie brings her trademark brilliance to this story of four women exploring their loves, longings, and desires. I can’t wait to see how their lives unfold!

Chiamaka is a Nigerian travel writer living in America. During the pandemic, feeling alone, she reflects on her past lovers and grapples with her choices and regrets. Her best friend Zikora, a successful lawyer, faces betrayal and heartbreak, leading her to turn to the person she thought she needed the least. Omelogor, Chiamaka’s bold and outspoken cousin, is a financial powerhouse in Nigeria who begins to question how well she truly knows herself. Meanwhile, Kadiatou, Chiamaka’s housekeeper, proudly raises her daughter in America yet must confront an unimaginable hardship that threatens everything she has worked to achieve.

In “Dream Count,” Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie focuses on these women’s lives in a captivating and profound novel that explores the very nature of love. Is true happiness ever attainable, or is it merely a fleeting state? How honest must we be with ourselves to love and be loved? The story profoundly reflects on our choices and those made for us, mothers and daughters, and our interconnected world. “Dream Count” resonates with emotional urgency and provides poignant, unflinching observations of the human heart, all conveyed in beautifully powerful language. This work reaffirms Adichie’s status as one of contemporary literature’s most exciting and dynamic writers.


Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie grew up in Nigeria. Her work has been translated into more than fifty-five languages. She is the author of the novels “Purple Hibiscus,” which won the Commonwealth Writers’ Prize; “Half of a Yellow Sun,” which was the recipient of the Women’s Prize for Fiction “Best of the Best” award; Americanah, which won the National Book Critics Circle Award; the story collection “The Thing Around Your Neck” and the essays We Should All Be Feminists and Dear Ijeawele, or A Feminist Manifesto in Fifteen Suggestions. Her most recent work is an essay about losing her father, Notes on Grief, and Mama’s Sleeping Scarf, a children’s book by Nwa Grace-James. A recipient of a MacArthur Fellowship, she divides her time between the United States and Nigeria.



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The Fire and the Ore

Read: September 2022

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The Fire and the Ore

by Olivia Hawker

The Fire and the Ore by Olivia Hawker is a novel set in 1856 when three women—once strangers—come together in unpredictable Utah Territory. Hopeful, desperate, and willful, they’ll allow nothing on earth or Heaven to stand in their way. I have always enjoyed the history of the movement of people across the plains. Tamar, Jane, and Tabitha, along with their shared husband, Thomas Ricks, were real people, and Olivia Hawker compellingly describes them as people living in difficult times.

Olivia Hawker is a descendant of Jane and a former Mormon. She writes eloquently about the unnecessary Utah War (AKA Buchanan’s Blunder) and how the sister-wives grow to love and support each other. Tamar’s sister Patience, although a minor character, wrote a memoir of the time that the author used as a resource.

Reading a compelling historical fiction novel about family, sisterhood, and survival about three women like Jan was an easy choice. It was a page-turner from the first page to the last.

The Washington Post bestselling author of One for the Blackbird, One for the Crow is a compelling novel of family, sisterhood, and survival.

The Goodreads summary provides a good overview,

Following the call of their newfound Mormon faith, Tamar Loader and her family weather a brutal pilgrimage from England to Utah, where Tamar is united with her destined husband, Thomas Ricks. Clinging to a promise for the future, she abides a surprise: Thomas is already wedded to one woman—Tabitha, a local healer—and betrothed to another.

Orphaned by tragedy and stranded in the Salt Lake Valley, Jane Shupe struggles to provide for herself and her younger sister. Out of necessity, with no love lost, she too must bear the trials of a sister-wife. She is no member of the Mormon migration, yet Jane agrees to marry Thomas.

But when the US Army’s invasion brings the rebellious Mormon community to heel, Tamar, Jane, and Tabitha are forced to retreat into the hostile desert wilderness with little in common but the same man—and the resolve to keep themselves and their children alive. What they discover, as one, is redemption, a new definition of family, and a bond stronger than matrimony that is tested like never before.


The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

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Move Like Water: My Story of the Sea

Read: October 2023

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Move Like Water: My Story of the Sea

by Hannah Stowe

I recently started reading a book called “Move Like Water: My Story of the Sea” by Hannah Stowe. It’s a captivating book that immerses you in a world of water, whales, storms, and starlight, allowing you to experience what it’s like to sail for weeks and live life to a new rhythm.

Hannah Stowe, a marine biologist and sailor in her mid-twenties, grew up on the Pembrokeshire coast of Wales, where she fell asleep to the sound of the lighthouse beam. Drawing upon her experiences sailing tens of thousands of miles in various seas, including the North Sea, North Atlantic, Mediterranean, Celtic Sea, and the Caribbean, she explores the human connection to the wild waters. Stowe ponders why she and others are drawn to life at sea and what we can learn from the water around us.

Stowe intertwines her narrative and illustrations with stories of six keystone marine creatures: the fire crow, sperm whale, wandering albatross, humpback whale, shearwater, and barnacle. Through these stories, she invites readers to fall in love with the sea and its inhabitants and to discover the majesty, wonder, and fragility of the underwater world.

If you enjoy the works of Rachel Carson and Annie Dillard, then “Move Like Water: My Story of the Sea” is a must-read. It’s an inspiring and heartfelt tribute to the sea, a testimony to pursuing and achieving a dream, and an unforgettable introduction to a talented new nature writer.


The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

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I receive a commission when you buy a book or product using a link on this page. Thank you for supporting Sharing Jan’s Love blog.



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Salvation

Read: March 2026

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Salvation: A Novel

by C. William Lanksfield

Salvation by C. William Lanksfield is a remarkable debut novel that explores profound themes through evocative prose and a compelling plot, all set against the breathtaking yet often intimidating backdrop of the Rocky Mountain West. This emotionally charged Western noir examines father-son relationships, masculinity, and spirituality, centering around a shocking event: the murder of one man’s best friend by another.

A small rural Colorado town is in crisis at the height of winter. Tom Horak has just murdered his best friend, Rust Hawkins. Morris Green, the town’s Lutheran pastor, is experiencing a profound crisis of faith, questioning the very existence of God. And Marshal Thomlison, the local peace officer, looking forward to retirement, is now thrown into the middle of a murder investigation.

Following his violent act, Tom retreats to a cabin in the hills, remembering the events of his hardscrabble childhood—a rural upbringing on a ranch with a distant mother and abusive father.

Pastor Green takes in Rust Hawkins’s son, since the boy has nowhere else to go. Thomlison’s murder investigation acts as a kind of Greek chorus commenting on the various threads of this moving novel: What could cause a man to commit such a violent act? What does this isolated community owe to one another? Can Tom find the peace he is searching for, even with blood on his hands? Can Pastor Green find enough faith in our human condition to help Rust’s orphaned son, and can their growing bond perhaps offer the family life each sorely lacks?


C. William Langsfeld lives in a small town on the Western Slope of Colorado.



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Corey Fah Does Social Mobility

Read: February 2024

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Corey Fah Does Social Mobility

by Isabel Waidner

Today, I began reading “Corey Fah Does Social Mobility: A Novel” by Isabel Waidner. The book is about Corey Fah, a writer whose novel has just won the Fictionalization of Social Evils prize. Despite this achievement, the trophy and funds with the award still need to be in reach. The novel celebrates radical queer survival and challenges false notions of success.

Corey, their partner Drew, and their pet spider, Bambi Pavok, embark on a quest to find an elusive trophy with neon-beige color and UFO-like qualities. This journey takes them back to their childhood in the forest and includes a stint on a reality TV show. While facing the horrors of wormholes and time loops, Corey discovers the difference between a prize and a gift in a complex way.

Following the Goldsmiths Prize–winning Sterling Karat Gold, Isabel Waidner’s bold and buoyant new novel is about coming into one’s own, the labor of love, the tendency of history to repeat itself, and what ensues when a large amount of cultural capital is suddenly deposited in a place it has never been before.

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