Planning Our Wedding!
Estimated reading time: 12 minutes, 22 seconds
Yes or No
I carefully placed Shira and Avis on the kitchen floor, turned to Jan, and enveloped her in my arms. “Sweetheart, I am here now and forever to love and cherish you! What made you upset? How can I help you?” Her eyes were red from tears as I released my embrace and kissed her lips.
My parents called….” Tears flowed down Jan’s face like an open hydrant.
“Let’s sit down so you can tell me what they said.”
As we eased our way into the couch, I knew, even before she finished the sentence, what they had said and why Jan was crying.
They will not attend our wedding as long as we have a minister as part of the ceremony. Dad questioned if the Rabbi was a rabbi and if he would do a wedding as we want ours to be.
Even when you know the truth, it is not easy to accept. I pulled Jan close to me and kissed the top of her head.
If I marry you, my parents said they would never talk to or see me again.
The words Jan spoke were worse than I had ever imagined. For a moment, I was speechless.
“Jan, what do you want to do?”
“Marry you!”
Are you sure you are OK losing your family for me?
“Yes.”
“I love you, Jan. I want to marry you!” I said as I took a deep breath. But losing your family for me is a heavy burden. If you want to change or delay our plans, I will do whatever you want me to do.
“Thank you, but….”
My heart stopped while I waited for her tears to abate so she could finish her response.
I appreciate your concern,” Jan spoke as tears poured down her cheeks. But it sounds like you are breaking up with me because of my parents.”
“No, no,” I responded. “I am not breaking up with you and never will. I am trying to find a way you do not lose your parents.”
“I love you and do not want to lose you. I love my parents, but you are more important to me now and in the future.”
I hugged her closer to me.
“Is there any way we can resolve this?”
No, my parents have decided and will not change.”
“We love each other, have an apartment lease; we ordered our rings….”
“And we will marry in August,” Jan finished the sentence emphatically.
Hearing her determination, I was happier than ever before but chose not to be overly exuberant.
“We have much work to plan, even a small wedding and our honeymoon.”
“I am ready to start.”
“I love you now and forever.”
The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. All donations are tax-deductible.
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial 4.0 International License.
After almost 48 years, I recently lost my wife, Jan Lilien. Like The Little Prince, Jan and I believed that “The most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or touched, they are felt with the heart.” This blog is a collection of my random thoughts on love, grief, life, and all things considered.
