What Can Grief Teach Me?
Estimated reading time: 0 minutes, 44 seconds
Mourning can destroy everything in its wake. Perhaps it is because our grief requires us to believe that everything is happening to us.
For example, when my sadness over losing Jan overwhelms me, my life is like a sled flying down the ski slope without controls.
Now that I have observed both the secular and Hebrew anniversaries, I realize one lesson I did not expect to learn over the last year.
When I stop letting the grief dominate my life and instead focus on what I can learn from my sadness, I can share Jan’s love and love more than ever.
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A Year Without Jan is a Strange Year
It has been a year since my love died. This morning, I got up and went on my walk as if it was just another day.
But it is not just another day. It is one more day without Jan and one filled with questions.
Have I done enough to honor her?
Jan’s Yahrzeit Reminds Me Why Love Never Dies
During my walk, I remembered a passage from Rachel Kodanaz's book "Living with Loss, One Day at a Time" on page 138. The passage poses a thought-provoking question about whether someone would rather have their years shortened or not have any at all.
Reflecting on this question, my answer remains unchanged. Although the thought of Jan's life ending when we first met would have initially caused me great sadness, I would have eventually come to focus on the love we shared rather than the time we lost.
