Smiling, Wes is Eight Months Old!

Smiling, Wes is Eight Months Old!

When Wes Smiles, I See Jan!

Estimated reading time: 1 minute, 13 seconds
Jan Lilien

Jan in Nova Scotia

Last Friday was a difficult mathematical moment for me.

Being Wes’s eighth birthday, I was ecstatic, but I had to do the math to remember how long it had been since Jan, the love of my life, died.

If Wes is eight months old and was born fourteen months after Jan died, then the answer to how long I have lived without Jan is twenty-two months.

When Jan died, my life felt like there was no way I could get to the following day. One step at a time, I was able to continue to live.

The most important lesson I learned is not to focus on what I lost but on how much I gained because of Jan’s transformative love.

I know that my grief journey is now in my rearview mirror, and I focus on celebrating Jan’s life and sharing her love.

Enjoy this short video of Wes; when he smiles, I remember Jan!


The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

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Wes and Jan Have the Same Smile!

The first time Jan smiled at me, my heart melted like ice cubes on a hot, humid summer day.

Jan poured wine on my head while still smiling at me.

Despite a wine-soaked forehead, I knew I would love her forever.

Our second grandson Wes Jude Nucero was born fourteen months after Jan died.

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Smiling, Wes is Eight Months Old!
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Flight: A Novel

Read: January 2023

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Flight: A Novel

by Lynn Steger Strong

Flight: A Novel by Lynn Steger Strong is a novel about family, ambition, precarity, art, and desire, forming a decisive next step from a brilliant chronicler of our time. The book has been on my to-read list for a few months. A New Yorker Best Books of 2022, it seemed like a good start on my 2023 Goodreads Reading challenge. Flight is the first book I read in 2023. Last year I read seventy-four books, and each helped me with my grief journey.

I recommend this novel as it is a page-turner highlighting the difficulty families experience after a loss. As a culture, we are experiencing declining social connections, including within families. Flight is an excellent effort to define the crisis.

Although several possible resolutions to the conflict became clear by the middle of the novel, Ms. Strong told the story so that until the end, it was unclear how or if it would be resolved. In addition, enough unresolved issues remained so that.

The Goodreads summary provides an overview,

It’s December twenty-second and siblings Henry, Kate, and Martin have converged with their spouses on Henry’s house in upstate New York. This is the first Christmas the siblings are without their mother, the first not at their mother’s Florida house. Over the course of the next three days, old resentments and instabilities arise as the siblings, with a gaggle of children afoot, attempt to perform familiar rituals, while also trying to decide what to do with their mother’s house, their sole inheritance. As tensions rise, the whole group is forced to come together unexpectedly when a local mother and daughter need help.

With the urgency and artfulness that cemented her previous novel Want as “a defining novel of our age” (Vulture), Strong once again turns her attention to the structural and systemic failings that are haunting Americans, but also to the ways in which family, friends, and strangers can support each other through the gaps


The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

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I receive a commission when you buy a book or product using a link on this page. Thank you for supporting Sharing Jan’s Love blog.



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The Singing Word

Read: September 2025

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The Singing Word

by Walt Hunter

The Singing Word: 168 Years of Atlantic Poetry, edited by Walt Hunter, celebrates the people, land, and spirit of America. This remarkable collection showcases a wide range of contemporary and historical poetry from the 168-year archive of The Atlantic magazine. Since its first issue in 1857, the poetry published in The Atlantic has drawn attention to the nation’s ongoing journey of self-discovery.

The magazine’s verse has featured odes to American leaders and landscapes, laments for the dead, and calls for change, appealing to the enduring ideals of Atlantic readers.

This one-of-a-kind collection selects poems of rousing optimism, clear-eyed realism, and moving lyricism—poems infused with the language of America’s songs, myths, and history, from the Civil War up through the present in three rich parts: National Anthems, Natural Lines, and Personal Mythologies.

Curated by The Atlantic’s Poetry Editor, this anthology features both world-famous poets—from Longfellow to Limón, including Robert Frost, W. S. Merwin, Sylvia Plath, and Adrienne Rich—as well as poets whose work has never before been published outside of the magazine.

Offering readers an essential understanding of American canon and the evolving nation, its poets have yearned to capture—the poetry of The Atlantic is the poetry of America.


Walt Hunter is a professor of twentieth- and twenty-first-century literature and chair of the English department at Case Western Reserve University. He is also the fiction and poetry editor for The Atlantic.



Discover your next favorite book and dive into a world of curated, exciting reads by purchasing through my links. You’ll have access to a diverse selection of books that I’ve personally vetted to ensure quality and enjoyment. Additionally, by supporting these selections, you’ll help me continue to provide you with more personalized recommendations. I earn a small commission from your purchase, which allows me to buy and share even more books with you. Your support truly makes a difference!


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Intermezzo: A Novel

Read: February 2025

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Intermezzo: A Novel

by Sally Rooney

Today, I dove into Sally Rooney‘s latest novel, “Intermezzo: A Novel,” which instantly captivated me. It’s a profoundly moving exploration of grief, love, and the intricacies of family life, with love at its heart. Reflecting on my journey through grief, I remember how Ms. Rooney‘s earlier work, “Beautiful World, Where Are You,” resonated with me during my second year of processing loss.

It beautifully highlighted love’s enduring nature and reminded me that, even in the depths of sorrow, love’s essence never truly fades. Intermezzo focuses on the fact that, aside from being brothers, Peter and Ivan Koubek seem to have little in common.

Peter is a Dublin lawyer in his thirties—successful, competent, and unassailable. But in the wake of their father’s death, he’s medicating himself to sleep and struggling to manage his relationships with two very different women—his enduring first love, Sylvia, and Naomi, a college student for whom life is one long joke.

Ivan is a twenty-two-year-old competitive chess player. He has always seen himself as socially awkward, a loner, the antithesis of his glib elder brother. Now, in the early weeks of his bereavement, Ivan meets Margaret, an older woman emerging from her turbulent past, and their lives become rapidly and intensely intertwined.

In this poignant interlude, we delve into the lives of two brothers grappling with their profound grief, accompanied by those who care for them. It’s a raw journey woven with threads of longing, heartbreak, and the flickering light of hope. Together, they navigate the uncharted territory of loss, uncovering how much the human spirit can withstand before it shatters.



When you purchase a book through one of my links, I earn a small commission that helps support my passion for reading. This contribution allows me to buy even more books to share with you, creating an incredible cycle of discovering great reads together! Your support truly makes a difference!


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Grief Is the Thing with Feathers

Read: May 2026

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Grief Is the Thing with Feathers

Max Porter‘s extraordinary debut, “Grief Is the Thing with Feathers,” is a unique blend of novella, polyphonic fable, and essay about grief. Combining compassion with a bold writing style, it delivers a powerful impact. Filled with sharp humor and deep insights, this haunting and original work introduces an important new talent. The book will be released as a major motion picture titled “The Thing with Feathers,” starring Benedict Cumberbatch.

Here he is, husband and father, scruffy romantic, a shambolic scholar–a man adrift in the wake of his wife’s sudden, accidental death. And there are his two sons, who, like him, struggle in their London apartment to face the unbearable sadness that has engulfed them. The father imagines a future of well-meaning visitors and emptiness, while the boys wander, savage and unsupervised.

In this moment of violent despair, they are visited by Crow–antagonist, trickster, goad, protector, therapist, and babysitter. This self-described “sentimental bird,” at once wild and tender, who “finds humans dull except in grief,” threatens to stay with the wounded family until they no longer need him. As weeks turn to months and the pain of loss lessens with the balm of memories, Crow’s efforts are rewarded, and the little unit of three begins to recover: Dad resumes his book about the poet Ted Hughes; the boys get on with it, grow up.


Max Porter is a publishing professional who lives in South London with his wife and children. “Grief Is the Thing with Feathers” is his debut book.



Discover your next favorite book and dive into a world of curated, exciting reads by purchasing through my links. You’ll have access to a diverse selection of books I’ve personally vetted for quality and enjoyment. Supporting these selections not only helps me continue to provide you with personalized recommendations but also ensures you have access to meaningful stories that enrich your life. Your support truly makes a difference in helping me share more books and insights with you!


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Autocracy, Inc.: The Dictators Who Want to Run the World

Read: January 2025

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Autocracy, Inc.

by Anne Applebaum

Today, I plunged into the captivating world of “Autocracy, Inc.: The Dictators Who Want to Run the World” by Anne Applebaum. I listened to an engaging discussion between her and the Executive Director of the YIVO Institute for Jewish Research, Jonathan Brent. Their insights left me eager for more, and I couldn’t resist making this book my next read. I’m thrilled to dive deeper into her thought-provoking perspective!

This compelling New York Times bestseller by the Pulitzer Prize-winning author paints a chilling picture of how autocratic regimes join forces to erode democracy globally. Applebaum sheds light on this pressing issue and offers insights on how we can unite to fight back.

We think we know what an autocratic state looks like: An all-powerful leader is at the top. He controls the police. The police threaten the people with violence. There are evil collaborators and maybe some brave dissidents.

But in the 21st century, that bears little resemblance to reality. Nowadays, autocracies are underpinned not by one dictator but by sophisticated networks composed of kleptocratic financial structures, surveillance technologies, and professional propagandists, all of which operate across multiple regimes, from China to Russia to Iran. Corrupt companies in one country do business with corrupt companies in another. The police in one country can arm and train the police in another, and propagandists share resources and themes, pounding home the same messages about the weakness of democracy and the evil of America.

International condemnation and economic sanctions cannot move the autocrats. Even popular opposition movements, from Venezuela to Hong Kong to Moscow, don’t stand a chance. The members of Autocracy, Inc. aren’t linked by a unifying ideology, like communism, but rather by a common desire for power, wealth, and impunity. In this urgent treatise, which evokes George Kennan’s essay calling for “containment” of the Soviet Union, Anne Applebaum calls for the democracies to reorient their policies to fight a new threat fundamentally.

 

In the video, Jonathan Brent asks Anne Applebaum to read the last paragraph of “Autocracy, Inc.: The Dictators Who Want to Run the World.”

There is no liberal world order anymore, and the aspiration to create one no longer seems real. But there are liberal societies, open and free countries that offer a better chance for people to live useful lives than closed dictatorships do. They are hardly perfect. Those that exist have deep flaws, profound divisions, and terrible historical scars. But that’s all the more reason to defend and protect them. So few of them have existed across human history; so many have existed for a short time and then failed. They can be destroyed from the outside and from the inside, too, by division and demagogues. Or they can be saved. But only if those of us who live in them are willing to make the effort to save them.

After finishing Autocracy, Inc.: The Dictators Who Want to Run the World,” this closing paragraph should be a call to action. Failure to respond to the challenge will doom our future to an unacceptable one. I recommend this book and encourage people to read it, discuss its contents, and take action to save our collective future.



When you purchase a book through one of my links, I earn a small commission that helps support my passion for reading. This contribution allows me to buy even more books to share with you, creating an incredible cycle of discovering great reads together! Your support truly makes a difference!


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How to Commit a Postcolonial Murder

Read: January 2026

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How to Commit a Postcolonial Murder

by Nina McConigley

“How to Commit a Postcolonial Murder” by Nina McConigley is a bold, inventive, and fiercely original debut novel. The story begins with the death of an uncle and features his tween niece’s private confession to the reader—she and her sister are responsible for his death, and they blame the British. The New York Times has listed it as one of “The Novels Everyone Will Be Talking About in 2026.”

Summer, 1986. The Creel sisters, Georgie Ayyar, and Agatha Krishna, welcome their aunt, uncle, and young cousin—newly arrived from India—into their house in rural Wyoming, where they’ll all live together. Because this is what families do, that is, until the sisters decide that it’s time for their uncle to die.

According to Georgie, the British are to blame. And to understand why, you need to hear her story. She details the violence hiding in their house and history, her once-unshakeable bond with Agatha Krishna, and her understanding of herself as an Indian-American in the heart of the West. Her account is, at every turn, cheeky, unflinching, and infectiously inflected with the trappings of teendom, including the magazine quizzes that help her make sense of her life. At its heart, the tale she weaves is:

a)    a vivid portrait of an extended family
b)    a moving story of sisterhood
c)    a playful ode to the 80s
d)    a murder mystery (of sorts)
e)    an unexpected and unwaveringly powerful meditation on history and language, trauma and healing, and the meaning of independence

Or maybe it’s really:

f)      all of the above.


Nina McConigley is the author of the story collection Cowboys and East Indians, which won the PEN Open Book Award and the High Plains Book Award. She has received grants and fellowships from the National Endowment for the Arts (NEA), the Radcliffe Institute, the Bread Loaf Writers’ Conference, the Vermont Studio Center, and the Sewanee Writers’ Conference.

McConigley was awarded the Wyoming Arts Council’s Frank Nelson Doubleday Memorial Writing Award and was a finalist for a National Magazine Award for her columns in High Country News. Her work has appeared in several prominent publications, including The New York Times, Orion, O: The Oprah Magazine, and The Virginia Quarterly Review.

Born in Singapore and raised in Wyoming, she currently resides in Colorado.



Discover your next favorite book and dive into a world of curated, exciting reads by purchasing through my links. You’ll have access to a diverse selection of books I’ve personally vetted for quality and enjoyment. Additionally, by supporting these selections, you’ll help me continue to provide you with more personalized recommendations. I earn a small commission from your purchase, which allows me to buy and share even more books with you. Your support truly makes a difference!


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