Smiling, Wes is Eight Months Old!

Smiling, Wes is Eight Months Old!

When Wes Smiles, I See Jan!

Estimated reading time: 1 minute, 13 seconds
Jan Lilien

Jan in Nova Scotia

Last Friday was a difficult mathematical moment for me.

Being Wes’s eighth birthday, I was ecstatic, but I had to do the math to remember how long it had been since Jan, the love of my life, died.

If Wes is eight months old and was born fourteen months after Jan died, then the answer to how long I have lived without Jan is twenty-two months.

When Jan died, my life felt like there was no way I could get to the following day. One step at a time, I was able to continue to live.

The most important lesson I learned is not to focus on what I lost but on how much I gained because of Jan’s transformative love.

I know that my grief journey is now in my rearview mirror, and I focus on celebrating Jan’s life and sharing her love.

Enjoy this short video of Wes; when he smiles, I remember Jan!


The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

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Wes and Jan Have the Same Smile!

The first time Jan smiled at me, my heart melted like ice cubes on a hot, humid summer day.

Jan poured wine on my head while still smiling at me.

Despite a wine-soaked forehead, I knew I would love her forever.

Our second grandson Wes Jude Nucero was born fourteen months after Jan died.

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Smiling, Wes is Eight Months Old!
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Grand Rapids: A Novel

Read: January 2026

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Grand Rapids: A Novel

by Natasha Stagg

Natasha Stagg‘s “Grand Rapids” is a coming-of-age story set in the Michigan suburbs in the early 2000s. Alexander Calder’s public sculpture, “La Grande Vitesse”, installed alongside the Grand River in downtown Grand Rapids, has become a symbol of the city. Tess moved there from Ypsilanti, Michigan, in 2001—the same year her mother passed away, marking the beginning of a time when everything felt like it was moving in slow motion for her.

Thrust into adolescence nearly rudderless, fifteen-year-old Tess is intoxicated, angsty, and sexually awake. A decade later, inspired by diary entries and TV reruns, she remembers this summer in the suburbs as the one that redefined her. Its echoes of death are frozen in time, like the waves represented in Calder’s sculpture or the concrete steps leading down to the churning river. She sees Grand Rapids as a collection of architecture and emblems, another home to which she cannot return.


Natasha Stagg is the author of Surveys: A Novel (2016), Sleeveless: Fashion, Image, Media, New York 2011–2019 (2019), and Artless: Stories 2019–2023 (2023). She lives in New York City.



Discover your next favorite book and dive into a world of curated, exciting reads by purchasing through my links. You’ll have access to a diverse selection of books that I’ve personally vetted to ensure quality and enjoyment. Additionally, by supporting these selections, you’ll help me continue to provide you with more personalized recommendations. I earn a small commission from your purchase, which allows me to buy and share even more books with you. Your support truly makes a difference!


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Atmosphere

Read: June 2025

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Atmosphere: A Love Story

by Taylor Jenkins Reid

Exciting, fast-paced, and emotionally charged, Atmosphere showcases Taylor Jenkins Reid at her finest: transporting readers to iconic times and places, creating complex protagonists, and narrating a passionate and uplifting story about the transformative power of love—this time among the stars. The book also explores themes of ambition, friendship, and the unknown, making it a compelling read for those interested in contemporary fiction and the exploration of space.

Joan Goodwin’s fascination with the stars has been a lifelong passion. As a thoughtful and reserved professor of physics and astronomy at Rice University and a devoted aunt to her precocious niece, Frances, Joan’s life is content. However, her world is turned upside down when she stumbles upon an advertisement seeking the first women scientists to join NASA’s space shuttle program. Suddenly, Joan is filled with a burning desire to be among the select few to venture into space.

Selected from a pool of thousands of applicants in the summer of 1980, Joan begins training at Houston’s Johnson Space Center alongside an exceptional group of fellow candidates: Top Gun pilot Hank Redmond and scientist John Griffin, who are kind and easygoing even when the stakes are highest; mission specialist Lydia Danes, who has worked too hard to play nice; warmhearted Donna Fitzgerald, who is navigating her secrets; and Vanessa Ford, the magnetic and mysterious aeronautical engineer, who can fix any engine and fly any plane.

As the new astronauts forge unlikely friendships and prepare for their first flights, Joan discovers a passion and a love she never thought possible. In this new light, Joan begins to question everything she thinks she knows about her place in the observable universe.

Then, in December 1984, on mission STS-LR9, everything took a dramatic turn in an instant.


Taylor Jenkins Reid is the #1 New York Times bestselling author of nine novels, including Carrie Soto Is Back, Malibu Rising, Daisy Jones & The Six, and The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo. She lives in Los Angeles with her husband and their daughter.



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Enjoy a limited-time offer of 20% off your next book purchase at Bookshop.org!


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Transcription

Read: May 2026

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Transcription: A Novel

by Ben Lerner

Transcription” by Ben Lerner has been named one of The New York Times’ Best Books of the Year (So Far). Hailed as “the most talented writer of his generation” by The New York Times Magazine, Lerner presents a gripping emotional drama that also serves as a brilliant exploration of the digital and literary devices we use to store or erase our memories.

The narrator of Ben Lerner‘s new novel has traveled to Providence, Rhode Island, to conduct what will be the final published interview with Thomas, his ninety-year-old mentor and the father of his college friend Max. Thomas is a giant in the arts who seems to hail from the future and the past simultaneously and who reenchants the air when he speaks. But the narrator drops his smartphone in the hotel sink. He arrives at Thomas’s house without a recording device, a fact he is mysteriously unable to admit.

What unfolds from this dreamlike circumstance is the unforgettable story of the triangle formed by Thomas, Max, and the narrator, as well as an exploration of fathers and sons, male friendship and rivalry, and the challenges of parenting in a burning world. One of the first great novels about the early days of COVID, it is also a brilliant meditation on those technologies that enrich or impoverish our connection to one another, that store or obliterate memory. Full of startling insight, but summoning the intensity of a séance, Lerner’s writing shows us how the air is full of messages, full of ghosts. Ultimately, Transcription demonstrates what only a work of fiction can record.


Ben Lerner is the author of several poetry and prose books, as well as collaborative works with visual artists. He has received fellowships from the Fulbright, Guggenheim, and MacArthur Foundations. Lerner has been a finalist for the National Book Award for Poetry and the Pulitzer Prize for Fiction, along with many other honors. He is a Distinguished Professor of English at Brooklyn College.



Discover your next favorite book and dive into a world of curated, exciting reads by purchasing through my links. You’ll have access to a diverse selection of books I’ve personally vetted for quality and enjoyment. Supporting these selections not only helps me continue to provide you with personalized recommendations but also ensures you have access to meaningful stories that enrich your life. Your support truly makes a difference in helping me share more books and insights with you!


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Lucy by the Sea: A Novel

Read: November 2022

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Lucy by the Sea: A Novel

by Elizabeth Strout

Lucy by the Sea: A Novel by Elizabeth Strout is a poignant, pitch-perfect novel about a divorced couple stuck together during lockdown–and the love, loss, despair, and hope that animate us even as the world seems to be falling apart. Having lost Jan during Covid, I was apprehensive about reading this book. However, it was not only a page-turner but also a novel that gave me a new perspective on loss which helped me manage my grief.

With her trademark spare, crystalline prose, Elizabeth Strout turns her exquisitely tuned eye to the inner workings of the human heart, following the indomitable heroine of My Name Is Lucy Barton through the early days of the pandemic.

I highlighted several passages that specifically spoke to me.

We all live with people—and places—and things—that we have given great weight to. But we are weightless, in the end.

Who knows why people are different? We are born with a certain nature, I think. And then the world takes its swings at us.

It has been said that the second year of widowhood is worse than the first—the idea being, I think, that the shock has worn off and now one has to live with the loss, and I had been finding that to be true, even before I came to Maine with William. But now there were times I felt that I was just learning of David’s death again for the first time. And I would be privately staggered by grief. And to be in this place where David had never been (!)—I was really dislocated is what I mean.

And I also understood: Grief is a private thing. God, is it a private thing.

We are all in lockdown, all the time. We just don’t know it, that’s all. But we do the best we can. Most of us are just trying to get through.

The Goodreads summary provides an overview,

As a panicked world goes into lockdown, Lucy Barton is uprooted from her life in Manhattan and bundled away to a small town in Maine by her ex-husband and on-again, off-again friend, William. For the next several months, it’s just Lucy, William, and their complex past together in a little house nestled against the moody, swirling sea.

Rich with empathy and emotion, Lucy by the Sea vividly captures the fear and struggles that come with isolation, as well as the hope, peace, and possibilities that those long, quiet days can inspire. At the heart of this story are the deep human connections that unite us even when we’re apart–the pain of a beloved daughter’s suffering, the emptiness that comes from the death of a loved one, the promise of a new friendship, and the comfort of an old, enduring love.


The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

Subscribe

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I receive a commission when you buy a book or product using a link on this page. Thank you for supporting Sharing Jan’s Love blog.

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Flight: A Novel

Read: January 2023

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Flight: A Novel

by Lynn Steger Strong

Flight: A Novel by Lynn Steger Strong is a novel about family, ambition, precarity, art, and desire, forming a decisive next step from a brilliant chronicler of our time. The book has been on my to-read list for a few months. A New Yorker Best Books of 2022, it seemed like a good start on my 2023 Goodreads Reading challenge. Flight is the first book I read in 2023. Last year I read seventy-four books, and each helped me with my grief journey.

I recommend this novel as it is a page-turner highlighting the difficulty families experience after a loss. As a culture, we are experiencing declining social connections, including within families. Flight is an excellent effort to define the crisis.

Although several possible resolutions to the conflict became clear by the middle of the novel, Ms. Strong told the story so that until the end, it was unclear how or if it would be resolved. In addition, enough unresolved issues remained so that.

The Goodreads summary provides an overview,

It’s December twenty-second and siblings Henry, Kate, and Martin have converged with their spouses on Henry’s house in upstate New York. This is the first Christmas the siblings are without their mother, the first not at their mother’s Florida house. Over the course of the next three days, old resentments and instabilities arise as the siblings, with a gaggle of children afoot, attempt to perform familiar rituals, while also trying to decide what to do with their mother’s house, their sole inheritance. As tensions rise, the whole group is forced to come together unexpectedly when a local mother and daughter need help.

With the urgency and artfulness that cemented her previous novel Want as “a defining novel of our age” (Vulture), Strong once again turns her attention to the structural and systemic failings that are haunting Americans, but also to the ways in which family, friends, and strangers can support each other through the gaps


The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

Subscribe

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I receive a commission when you buy a book or product using a link on this page. Thank you for supporting Sharing Jan’s Love blog.



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Rabbit Moon

Read: April 2025

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Rabbit Moon: A Novel

by Jennifer Haigh

Today, I dove into Jennifer Haigh‘s gripping new release, Rabbit Moon. Set against the vibrant backdrop of Shanghai, this tense and riveting drama unravels the complexities of a fractured American family. It explores hidden secrets and the unbreakable bond between two sisters. Ms. Haigh, the New York Times bestselling author of Mercy Street, which I read last year, weaves a tale that promises to keep readers on the edge of their seats.

Four years after their bitter divorce, Claire and Aaron Litvak receive a phone call that no parent is prepared for: their 22-year-old daughter Lindsey, who is teaching English in China during her college gap year, has been critically injured in a hit-and-run accident. As they wait at her bedside in a Shanghai hospital, they hold onto hope for the best while preparing for the worst.

The accident exposes a deeper rift within the family: it brings to light the shocking events that ended the Litvaks’ marriage and turned Lindsey against them. Estranged from her parents, Lindsey has confided only in her younger sister, Grace, who was adopted from China as an infant. As Claire and Aaron navigate the bustling, cosmopolitan atmosphere of Shanghai—the newly prosperous “miracle city”—they face unsettling questions about Lindsey’s life there, where nothing is as it seems.

With her trademark psychological insight, Jennifer Haigh crafts a taut and suspenseful story about the enduring ties of marriage that divorce cannot sever and the legendary red thread that connects two sisters across time and space. Ms. Haigh again demonstrates that she is, as The New York Times describes her, “an expertly nuanced storyteller…her work is gripping, real, and immersive.”


Jennifer Haigh is the author of seven best-selling, critically acclaimed works of fiction. Her first, Mrs. Kimble, won the PEN Hemingway Award for debut fiction. Her latest, Mercy Street, was named a Best Book of 2022 by the New Yorker and won the Mark Twain American Voice in Literature Award. A Guggenheim fellow and Iowa Writers’ Workshop graduate, she lives in Boston.



When you purchase a book through one of my links, I earn a small commission that helps support my passion for reading. This contribution allows me to buy even more books to share with you, creating an incredible cycle of discovering great reads together! Your support truly makes a difference!


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