Jan Lilien

Richard, I Believe in You!

Estimated reading time: 0 minutes, 43 seconds

Celebrate JanMore mornings than I like to acknowledge, I wake up and want not to take my walk and instead spend the day grieving over the loss of Jan, the love of my life.

I repeat this mantra – I Am Capable. I Am Strong. I Believe in Myself – and get up and walk.

It does not overcome every crisis that grief throws at me, but it helps.

I also know that it is what Jan would want me to do. In my darkest moments, I can hear her voice.

“Richard, you are capable, you are strong, and I believe in you.”

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The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao

Read: August 2024

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The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao

by Junot Diaz

Today, I started reading Junot Diaz‘s The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao, one of The New York Times’ 100 Best Books of the Century. The book also won a Pulitzer Prize. Oscar is a sweet but disastrously overweight ghetto nerd who—from the New Jersey home he shares with his old-world mother and rebellious sister—dreams of becoming the Dominican J.R.R. Tolkien and, most of all, finding love.

But Oscar may never get what he wants. Blame the fukú—a curse that has haunted Oscar’s family for generations, following them on their epic journey from Santo Domingo to the USA. Encapsulating Dominican-American history, The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao opens our eyes to an astonishing vision of the contemporary American experience. It explores the endless human capacity to persevere—and risk it all—in the name of love.

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In Praise of Walking

Read: April 2023

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In Praise of Walking

by Shane O'Mara

I recently received a book from my family that combines two interests: walking and reading. The book, “In Praise of Walking” by Shane O’Mara, celebrates the joys, health benefits, and mechanics of walking. It emphasizes the importance of getting out of our chairs and discovering a happier, healthier, more creative self.

One of the most important insights I gained from this book is that walking can lead to mind wandering, focusing on autobiographical memory rather than the immediate environment. This realization helped me accept and appreciate Jan’s love and move forward with her passion.

The book also explores the significance of walking to our human identity. Walking upright has given us many advantages, including the freedom of our hands and minds. Walking has enabled us to spread worldwide and has many benefits for our bodies and minds, such as protecting and repairing organs, aiding digestion, and sharpening our thinking.

Overall, “In Praise of Walking” inspires us to start walking again and recognize its many benefits to our lives and societies.


The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

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My Friends: A Novel

Read: October 2024

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My Friends: A Novel

by Hisham Matar'

Today, I started reading Hisham Matar’s “My Friends: A Novel.” It is a finalist for the 2024 National Book Award for Fiction and the winner of the Orwell Prize for Political Fiction. This novel explores themes of friendship, family, and the harsh realities of exile. Hisham Matar is also the Pulitzer Prize-winning author of “The Return.” The pages on my Kindle App on my iPad fly like autumn’s falling leaves.

One evening, a young boy named Khaled, growing up in Benghazi, hears a captivating short story read aloud on the radio. The story, about a man being eaten alive by a cat, leaves an indelible mark on Khaled, igniting a lifelong fascination with the power of words and the enigmatic author, Hosam Zowa. This transformative experience sets Khaled on a journey that will lead him far from home to the University of Edinburgh to pursue a life of the mind.

In a new and unfamiliar environment, Khaled finds himself far from his familiar life in Libya. His resilience is tested when he attends a protest against the Qaddafi regime in London. The event turns into a tragedy, leaving Khaled injured and unable to leave Britain. Despite the danger posed by monitored phone lines, his determination to communicate his situation to his parents is a testament to his strength.

When Khaled has a chance encounter with Hosam Zowa, the author of a life-changing short story, at a hotel, Khaled begins the most profound friendship of his life. This friendship sustains him and eventually compels him, as the Arab Spring unfolds, to confront complex tensions between revolution and safety, family and exile, and how to define his sense of self concerning those closest to him.

A profound exploration of friendship and family and how time can test and fray these bonds, ‘My Friends‘ is a work of literature that resonates with its readers. Hisham Matar’s novel is not just a story but an achingly beautiful reflection on life and relationships crafted by an author at the peak of his powers.



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Beautiful World, Where Are You

Read: July 2022

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Beautiful World, Where Are You

by Sally Rooney

Beautiful World, Where Are You by Sally Rooney, a writer recommended to me, but I have always kept them on the to-read list, not the current reading. Does a beautiful word exist? Is it possible to live in a beautiful world despite the loss of the love of my life? Perhaps reading  Beautiful World, Where Are You, will help me in my grief journey.

Ms. Rooney’s book was a page-turner, and I highly recommend it.

One of the quotes from the book echoed my dream of a beautiful world.

“When I try to picture for myself what a happy life might look like, the picture hasn’t changed very much since I was a child – a house with flowers and trees around it, and a river nearby, and a room full of books, and someone there to love me, that’s all. Just to make a home there, and to care for my parents when they grow older. Never to move, never to board a plane again, just to live quietly and then be buried in the earth.” ― Sally Rooney, Beautiful World, Where Are You

It also helped remind me how unique and memorable the love that Jan and I shared was. We could quickly fall into a life lived separately as friends, or we might not have ever fallen in love and married.

As Sally Rooney in Beautiful World, Where Are You, wrote:

“If God wanted me to give you up, he wouldn’t have made me who I am.”

The Goodreads summary provides an overview.

Alice, a novelist, meets Felix, who works in a warehouse, and asks him if he’d like to travel to Rome with her. In Dublin, her best friend, Eileen, is getting over a breakup and slips back into flirting with Simon, a man she has known since childhood. Alice, Felix, Eileen, and Simon are still young—but life is catching up with them. They desire each other, they delude each other, they get together, and they break apart. They have sex, they worry about sex, and they worry about their friendships and the world they live in. Are they standing in the last lighted room before the darkness, bearing witness to something? Will they find a way to believe in a beautiful world?


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Don't Be a Stranger: A Novel

Read: October 2024

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Don’t Be a Stranger: A Novel

by Susan Minot

Today, I began reading “Don’t Be a Stranger: A Novel” by Susan Minot, a captivating new work by the author of ‘Evening.’ Known for her lyrical prose and exploration of complex human relationships, Minot’s latest novel revolves around a woman involved in a love affair during midlife. It is a radiant tale that explores themes of erotic obsession, the desire for intimacy, communication, and oblivion, which will resonate with fans of Miranda July‘s ‘All Fours,’ a book I have also read.

Ivy Cooper is 52 years old when Ansel Fleming first enters her life. Twenty years her junior, a musician newly released from prison on a minor drug charge, Ansel’s beguiling good looks and quiet intensity instantly seduce her. Despite the gulf between their ages and experience, their physical chemistry is overpowering. Over the heady weeks and months that follow, Ivy finds her life bifurcated by his presence: On the surface, she is a responsible mother, managing the demands of friends, an ex-husband, and home, but emotionally, psychologically, sexually, she is consumed by desire and increasingly alive only in the stolen moments-out-of-time, with Ansel in her bed.

Don’t Be a Stranger is a gripping, sensual, and provocative work from one of the most remarkable voices in contemporary fiction.

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The Unsettled: A Novel

Read: October 2023

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The Unsettled: A Novel

by Ayana Mathis

I highly recommend reading “The Unsettled: A Novel” by Ayana Mathis. It’s a brilliant, explosive, and vitally crucial new work from one of America’s most fiercely talented storytellers. The story follows Ava Carson and her ten-year-old son, Toussaint, arriving at the Glenn Avenue family shelter in Philadelphia in 1985. From the outset, Ava is already thinking of a way to escape.

She is disgusted by the shelter’s squalid conditions, including a room infested with cockroaches, barely edible food, and an untrustworthy night security guard. She is resolute in her mission to rescue her son from the shelter’s dangers and humiliations and free herself from the complex past that led them there.

Ava and her mother, Dutchess, have been estranged for many years since Ava left her Alabama home as a young woman. Despite the miles between them, mother and daughter are still deeply connected. However, Ava finds it hard to forgive her mother for her sharp tongue, intractability, and bouts of despair that led to neglect and hunger during her childhood.

Ava wants to be a better mother to her son, Toussaint. However, when Toussaint’s father, Cass, suddenly reappears, Ava is drawn to his charisma and radical vision to dismantle systems of racial injustice and establish a new communal living.

Meanwhile, in Alabama, Dutchess is facing a difficult challenge. She is struggling to prevent the sale of Bonaparte to white developers, who are rapidly encroaching on the land. Bonaparte has been a beacon of Black freedom and self-determination, and it is now in the hands of its last five Black residents – families who have lived there for generations. Dutchess is fighting to preserve the venerable history of Bonaparte and the land, which she has worked hard to keep as Ava’s inheritance.

As Ava approaches Cass, Toussaint begins to sense danger around him. He worries about his mother’s erratic behavior and his father’s intense and volatile nature. Toussaint dreams of returning to Bonaparte and Dutchess, where he was born and raised. He hopes to find his way back there soon.


The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

Subscribe

Contact Us

I receive a commission when you buy a book or product using a link on this page. Thank you for supporting Sharing Jan’s Love blog.



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