Richard W. shared a post on November 9, 2021

Nora McInerny on Grief

Estimated reading time: 0 minutes, 34 seconds

Today, my grief feels like it remains a background noise and not a force that controls my life. If I am moving forward in life, I am moving forward with Jan still in my heart. The grief will always be with me, but so will Jan. The two will be as inseparable as conjoined twins.

How can we move forward when experiencing grief or hardship? I listened to the Ted Radio Hour today, where writer Nora McInerny shared ideas on navigating the most difficult parts of life and living life fully in the face of loss.

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Meeting Jan's Spirit!

How Did I Grieve?

If grief has made me a better person, it's because God gave me the ability to listen, embrace, and move forward into the future. Although I miss Jan dearly, I am committed to living with courage, honoring her memory, and being my best father, grandfather, friend, and neighbor.

Richard W. Brown June 24, 2024

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My random thoughts on love, grief, life and all things considered.

My 2025 Big Climb to Conquer Cancer!
I am passionate about promoting the search for cancer cures, which is why I am participating in the Big Climb. I invite you to join me in this heartfelt cause as we unite to transform hope into reality for those affected by these illnesses. […]
Walking is Vital to My Conscientious Resilience!
Walking is essential to my conscientious resilience. After 1,400 days of walking, each step I take honors my wife. During these walks, I allow my mind to wander, discovering the strength and resilience to choose a life filled with meaning and purpose. […]
Reading is Vital to My Conscientious Resilience!
Reading has become an essential part of my personal growth and resilience. Each book I've read has influenced me differently, with some leaving a more lasting impact than others. What are you currently reading? Would you like a book recommendation? I have a variety of books to suggest. […]
Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., Service Award
On January 16th, the Cranford Clergy Council awarded Richard W. Brown the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Distinguished Service Award for his leadership with Monarch Housing and Bridges Outreach, aiding Union County's housing-insecure and homeless individuals, and for his commitment to social action at Temple Sha'arey Shalom. […]
Half-Birthday Cataclysm
My half-birthday health crisis isn't the same as what my wife experienced; it's a reminder of our mortality. I will recover, and as I grow older, I will learn to accept the limitations of age. I need to listen to my body instead of the fantasies in my head. […]

The Jan Lilien Education Fund!

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Invisible Child

Read: December 2021

Invisible Child: Poverty, Survival & Hope in an American City

by Andrea Elliott

Invisible Child: Poverty, Survival & Hope in an American City by Andrea Elliott was a gift from my son Jon. The New York Times selected “Invisible Child” as one of the best books published this year. It is indeed one of the top books on my all-time list.

GoodReads summary provides a good overview,

The riveting, unforgettable story of a girl whose indomitable spirit is tested by homelessness, poverty, and racism in an unequal America—from Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist Andrea Elliott of The New York Times

Invisible Child follows eight dramatic years in the life of Dasani Coates, a child with imagination as soaring as the skyscrapers near her Brooklyn homeless shelter. Born at the turn of a new century, Dasani is named for the bottled water that comes to symbolize Brooklyn’s gentrification and the shared aspirations of a divided city. As Dasani grows up, moving with her tight-knit family from shelter to shelter, this story goes back to trace the passage of Dasani’s ancestors from slavery to the Great Migration north. When Dasani comes of age, New York City’s homeless crisis explodes as the chasm deepens between rich and poor.

In the shadows of this new Gilded Age, Dasani must lead her seven siblings through a thicket of problems: hunger, parental drug addiction, violence, housing instability, segregated schools, and the constant monitoring of the child-protection system. When, at age thirteen, Dasani enrolls at a boarding school in Pennsylvania, her loyalties are tested like never before. As she learns to “code switch” between the culture she left behind and the norms of her new town, Dasani starts to feel like a stranger in both places. Ultimately, she faces an impossible question: What if leaving poverty means abandoning the family you love?

By turns heartbreaking and revelatory, provocative and inspiring, Invisible Child tells an astonishing story about the power of resilience, the importance of family, and the cost of inequality. Based on nearly a decade of reporting, this book vividly illuminates some of the most critical issues in contemporary America through the life of one remarkable girl.

Jan and I were involved and knew that child poverty and homelessness needed repair. In addition, Jan lived on Washington Park across from Ft. Greene Park in 1974-75. We knew the neighborhood where much of the book’s story takes place.

Before meeting Jan in 1973, I was both a community/tenant organizer and a youth worker. In the latter role, I made weekly hostel trips for eight to ten young boys from East Williamsburg during 1973. The trips were the first the boys had ever been outside of their neighborhood.

Many of them had imaginations like Dasani. They also had her instinct to fight. One of my first tasks was to check for any weapons.

Decades later, when I would see any of them, now adults, they would ask when we were going on another trip. I wish I had met Jan when I made those trips. She would have helped me improve them and document the impact. If I could re-write history, I would have her join me as the second adult on the hostel trips.

After that summer, it was clear my primary skills were as a community/tenant organizer. Over the next few years, my work focused on creating affordable and supportive housing.

Jan and I did meaningful work that made a difference, yet the need for a permanent solution to the crisis remains. The book highlights the crucial role of resilience, the importance of family, and the cost of inequality. As a nation, we cannot undermine those values by breaking up families, impeding resilience, and maintaining racial and economic inequality.

The current debate in Washington over the Build Back Better legislation needs to focus not on how much we spend but on its impact on children and families.

David Brooks, a conservative commentator, has supported these expenditures for what they can do to address this country’s cultural and economic crisis.

These packages say to the struggling parents and the warehouse workers: I see you. Your work has dignity. You are paving your way. You are at the center of our national vision.

This is how you fortify a compelling moral identity, which is what all of us need if we’re going to be able to look in the mirror with self-respect. This is the cultural transformation that good policy can sometimes achieve. Statecraft is soulcraft.

If you can only read one book this year, this is the one to read. Child poverty, homelessness, and inequality impact all of us. Ending child poverty and homelessness will make us a healthier and more inclusive nation. It is time for a compelling moral call to action!

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