Pedicure with Hugo

My Pampered Pinkies

My Feet Float Like Butterflies After My First Pedicure

Estimated reading time: 4 minutes, 18 seconds

I lifted my right leg and began carefully cutting my toenails. Despite my caution, I ended up with unevenly cut toes, including my pinkies, but at least they were no longer sharp claws. In the early days after my wife passed away, I neglected this task, and my toenails tore a six-inch hole in the bedsheet as if it was slashed by one of my butcher knives, which left me frustrated and helpless. As soon as I started cutting my other foot, a sudden sharp pain shot through my lower back as I crossed my legs. Despite the discomfort, I managed to finish the task, although my attempt to declaw my foot was ineffective.

Applying the lidocaine patches to my back has been quite a challenge, especially since I live alone. As I carefully maneuvered to use them, the awkwardness of unpeeling and placing them on my back was one of the daily frustrations of my life. After I found the spot where I wanted to put the patch and unrolled it, my hands would become stuck as if it were a sticky bug strip. I would always manage to get the patch into place, but some wrinkles would cause discomfort and be unpleasant.

Although I noticed improvement over the following week, it was a stark reminder of the challenges of living alone. Despite the eventual decrease in pain, it served as a poignant reminder of the hurdles of living independently. As I read in Atul Gawande‘s “Being Mortal,” the inability to perform simple tasks like trimming toenails can indicate struggles with daily activities, particularly for older individuals.

Last Saturday, I had breakfast with my good friends Ana and Hugo. I sought their advice on where to get a pedicure and hoped they could recommend a nail salon. Instead, they suggested that we all go together, which wasn’t surprising given our close friendship. The following day, at 5:30 in the evening, I strolled the short, mostly level distance of 450 feet from my residence to Elegance Nails IV, located in Cleveland Plaza in Cranford. Upon arriving, I first encountered Hugo and then Ana. At that moment, I paused to consider whether I wanted to proceed with our plan.

As I settled into the chair and felt the soothing pressure of the vibrating and rolling massage of the backrest, any lingering doubts about my decision dissipated. Without hesitation, I opted for a more luxurious and comprehensive pedicure, reassured by Marta’s exceptional skills and attention to detail. Although it took her a few moments to position my feet correctly, as I had no idea where they should be, her expertise was evident as she carefully washed my feet, exfoliated the calluses, massaged my calves, and expertly trimmed my nails. With each gentle touch, I couldn’t help but let out a few giggles, much to the playful admonishment of Hugo. Despite my efforts to stifle my laughter, Marta’s nurturing and skilled hands created an atmosphere of relaxation and delight, turning a simple nail care session into a truly indulgent and joyful experience. The transformation of my feet, the care and attention I received, and the laughter shared with friends all contributed to a deeply emotional journey I will always cherish.

The Vaster Wilds: A NovelDespite setting my iPhone to Do Not Disturb, a good friend called me, and I informed her I was having my first pedicure. I answered and explained that I was having my first pedicure. She then told me that her Rabbi liked the project we had worked on, but I had to ask her to hold while I chose a color for my toes. Hugo and Ana suggested light blue. When I returned to the call, my friend informed me that her Rabbi had recommended Green to show support for Israel. “Next time,” I said, adding, “No one will see my toes.” The joy I felt from the pedicure wilted slightly; knowing I would return to living alone reminded me of Lauren Groff‘s comment in The Vaster Wilds: A Novel, “To be alone and surviving is not the same as being alive.” But the warmth of my friends’ support wrapped around me, a comforting reminder that I was not truly alone.

Whose feet are mine?

Which Toes Are Mine?

Hugo inquired about the frequency of pedicures while his toes were drying under ultraviolet light. The response was “every three weeks.” Knowing that I couldn’t take care of my toenails alone, I accepted that monthly pampering might be essential despite my tight budget. Any doubts that lingered in my mind vanished as my feet floated like butterflies during my morning walk. Despite walking faster and covering more miles, my calorie burn fell from previous walks. I blamed Siri for a defective algorithm failing to measure my calorie burn. I almost asked Siri if I would forever live alone, but I chose not to, as I didn’t want to hear a deflating answer. The pedicure, with its physical and emotional benefits, profoundly impacted my well-being, reminding me of the importance of self-care and the joy I found in a simple but crucial indulgence.

A Journey Worth Taking

We have been blessed with the incredible gifts of hearing, embracing, and walking into the future. I am dedicated to fearlessly approaching the future with determination, cherishing every moment, and striving to become the best version of myself.

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Remarkably Bright Creatures

Read: January 2024

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Remarkably Bright Creatures

by Shelby Van Pelt

Today, I recommended reading “Remarkably Bright Creatures” by Shelby Van Pelt. It’s a charming, witty, and compulsively readable exploration of friendship, reckoning, and hope. The novel traces the unlikely connection of a widow with a giant Pacific octopus, making it perfect for fans of “A Man Called Ove.” Shelby Van Pelt’s debut novel is a gentle reminder that sometimes, looking at the past can help uncover a future that once felt impossible.

The story follows Tova Sullivan, who works the night shift at the Sowell Bay Aquarium after her husband dies. Tova has been coping with loss since her eighteen-year-old son, Erik, mysteriously vanished on a boat in Puget Sound over thirty years ago.

While at the aquarium, Tova becomes acquainted with Marcellus, a grumpy giant Pacific octopus who refuses to cooperate with his human captors. However, Marcellus forms a remarkable friendship with Tova and helps her uncover the truth about her son’s disappearance.

As a detective, Marcellus uses his invertebrate body to deduce what happened when Tova’s son disappeared. Together, they embark on a journey to unearth the truth before it’s too late.


The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

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Kala: A Novel

Read: June 2024

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Kala: A Novel

by Colin Walsh

Today, I started reading “Kala: A Novel” by Colin Walsh, a gripping literary page-turner from a rising Irish talent. Former friends, estranged for twenty years, reckon with the terrifying events of the summer that changed their lives. Three old friends are reunited in the seaside town of Kinlough, on Ireland’s west coast, for the first time in years.

Helen, Joe, and Mush were part of an original group of six inseparable teenagers in the summer of 2003, with motherless, reckless Kala Lanann as their group’s white-hot center. Soon after that summer’s peak, Kala disappeared without a trace.

Now it’s fifteen years later:

  • Helen has reluctantly returned to Ireland for her father’s wedding.
  • Joe is a world-famous musician who is newly back in town.
  • Mush has never left, too scared to venture beyond the counter of his mother’s café.

But human remains are discovered in the woods. Two more girls have gone missing. As past and present begin to collide, the estranged friends are forced to confront their involvement in the events that led to Kala’s disappearance.

Against the backdrop of a town suffocating on its secrets, in a story that builds from a smolder to a stunning climax, Kala brilliantly examines the sometimes brutal costs of belonging and the battle in the human heart between vengeance and forgiveness, despair and redemption.

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Neruda on the Park: A Novel

Read: May 2023

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Neruda on the Park: A Novel

by Cleyvis Natera

Neruda on the Park is a novel by Cleyvis Natera that beautifully depicts the complexities of family, friendship, and ambition. The story highlights the community’s efforts to protect their neighborhood amidst the gentrification and the tension between a mother and her daughter.

The Guerreros have lived in Nothar Park, a Dominican neighborhood in New York City, for twenty years. When a neighboring tenement faces demolition, Eusebia, an elder of the community, takes matters into her own hands and devises a series of increasingly dangerous schemes to halt the construction of luxury condos. Meanwhile, Eusebia’s daughter, Luz, a rising associate at a Manhattan law firm, becomes distracted by a passionate romance with the handsome white developer working on the project her mother opposes.

As Luz’s father, Vladimir, designs their retirement home in the Dominican Republic, mother and daughter clash, escalating tensions in Nothar Park and leading to a near-fatal climax. Overall, Neruda on the Park is a captivating story that weaves a rich, vivid tapestry of community and sacrifice to protect what matters most.


The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

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In Five Years

Read: September 2021

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In Five Years

by Rebecca Serle

In Five Years by Rebecca Serle is a good, quick read. It is an “unforgettable love story that reminds us of the power of loyalty, friendship, and the unpredictable nature of destiny.”

The protagonist Dannie Kohan is a Type A lawyer who has her life planned out by the numbers. Everything she believes will happen according to her plan. But life sometimes throws us a curveball.

She applies for the job she has always wanted, and her boyfriend proposes to her. Everything is going according to her plan. She returns home believing that life is going as planned and falls asleep.

But when she wakes up, she’s suddenly in a different apartment, with a different ring on her finger, and beside a very different man. The television news is on in the background, and she can make out the scrolling date. It’s the same night—December 15—but 2025, five years in the future.

There are twists and turns, including her best friend introducing her new boyfriend, who happens to be the man she was with briefly in 2025. Her friends’ struggle with and eventual death from Ovarian cancer forces Dannie to confront life as is. Her friend reminds her that she has never truly experienced love and needs to stop controlling her life and those around her.

In five years is a question I am asking myself. Where will I be five years after Jan’s death?

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Three Strong Women

Read: August 2022

Three Strong Women

by Marie NDiaye

Three Strong Women by Marie NDiaye is a novel that focuses on three women who say no. Winner of the coveted Prix Goncourt, the first by a black woman, Marie NDiaye, creates a luminous narrative triptych as harrowing as beautiful. With lyrical intensity, Marie NDiaye masterfully evokes the relentless denial of dignity, to say nothing of happiness, in these lives caught between Africa and Europe. I highly recommend this novel.

John Fletcher translated the Kindle version.

The Goodreads summary provides an overview,

This is the story of three women who say no: Norah, a French-born lawyer who finds herself in Senegal, summoned by her estranged, tyrannical father to save another victim of his paternity; Fanta, who leaves a modest but contented life as a teacher in Dakar to follow her white boyfriend back to France, where his delusional depression and sense of failure poison everything; and Khady, an impoverished widow put out by her husband’s family with nothing but the name of a distant cousin (the Fanta above) who lives in France, a place Khady can scarcely conceive of but toward which she must now take desperate flight.

With lyrical intensity, Marie NDiaye masterfully evokes the relentless denial of dignity, to say nothing of happiness, in these lives caught between Africa and Europe. We see with stunning emotional exactitude how ordinary women discover unimagined reserves of strength, even as their humanity is chipped away. Three Strong Women admits to an immigrant experience rarely, if ever, examined in fiction, but even more into the depths of the suffering heart.


The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month are matched dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

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The Fire and the Ore

Read: September 2022

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The Fire and the Ore

by Olivia Hawker

The Fire and the Ore by Olivia Hawker is a novel set in 1856 when three women—once strangers—come together in unpredictable Utah Territory. Hopeful, desperate, and willful, they’ll allow nothing on earth or Heaven to stand in their way. I have always enjoyed the history of the movement of people across the plains. Tamar, Jane, and Tabitha, along with their shared husband, Thomas Ricks, were real people, and Olivia Hawker compellingly describes them as people living in difficult times.

Olivia Hawker is a descendant of Jane and a former Mormon. She writes eloquently about the unnecessary Utah War (AKA Buchanan’s Blunder) and how the sister-wives grow to love and support each other. Tamar’s sister Patience, although a minor character, wrote a memoir of the time that the author used as a resource.

Reading a compelling historical fiction novel about family, sisterhood, and survival about three women like Jan was an easy choice. It was a page-turner from the first page to the last.

The Washington Post bestselling author of One for the Blackbird, One for the Crow is a compelling novel of family, sisterhood, and survival.

The Goodreads summary provides a good overview,

Following the call of their newfound Mormon faith, Tamar Loader and her family weather a brutal pilgrimage from England to Utah, where Tamar is united with her destined husband, Thomas Ricks. Clinging to a promise for the future, she abides a surprise: Thomas is already wedded to one woman—Tabitha, a local healer—and betrothed to another.

Orphaned by tragedy and stranded in the Salt Lake Valley, Jane Shupe struggles to provide for herself and her younger sister. Out of necessity, with no love lost, she too must bear the trials of a sister-wife. She is no member of the Mormon migration, yet Jane agrees to marry Thomas.

But when the US Army’s invasion brings the rebellious Mormon community to heel, Tamar, Jane, and Tabitha are forced to retreat into the hostile desert wilderness with little in common but the same man—and the resolve to keep themselves and their children alive. What they discover, as one, is redemption, a new definition of family, and a bond stronger than matrimony that is tested like never before.


The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

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I receive a commission when you buy a book or product using a link on this page. Thank you for supporting Sharing Jan’s Love blog.

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