I Conquered Twenty-Six Floors for Jan

I Conquered Twenty-Six Floors for Jan

CLIMB, CONQUER, CURE CANCER!

Estimated reading time: 2 minutes, 16 seconds

Today, I participated in the 2024 Leukemia & Lymphoma Society‘s Big Climb NJ. Despite my age, I climbed twenty-six floors to the top of the Gateway Center in Newark for my wife, Jan, and all those who have been diagnosed with blood cancers, but any cancers. Although I walk daily and do extra stair work, climbing is always challenging. I was surprised to complete the Big Climb in eight minutes and forty-six seconds. But every time I wavered, I remembered the pain my wife suffered, lifted my legs, and persevered.

I Conquered Twenty-Six Floors for JanAs I was climbing the stairs today, tears streamed down my face uncontrollably. It felt like I was standing beneath a waterfall with no end in sight. I couldn’t help but think about Jan, my beloved wife, who had passed almost three years ago. I knew that crying wouldn’t bring her back, but my heart was heavy with grief and pain.

Despite my best efforts, I couldn’t stop the tears from flowing. I expected to see volunteers mopping up the stairway after me as if I were leaving a trail of sorrow behind me.

My tears were not just for Jan, though. They were for all the people who have been affected by cancer, for all those who have heard the words “You have cancer,” and for all those who have lost loved ones to this devastating disease. Every three minutes, a doctor tells someone they have cancer. Every nine minutes, someone loses their life to it.

I Climb for janWhen I reached the ninth floor, I paused to catch my breath and wipe away my tears. The “Why I Climb Photos” were on the walls. I looked at my wife’s photo and said the most powerful three words I know in the English language: “I love you.” These words were not just for Jan but all those who have suffered and continue to suffer.

As we find ourselves already a quarter of the way through the 21st century, it is disheartening to acknowledge that we still haven’t found a cure for cancer. However, this doesn’t deter me from my commitment to participating in the Big Climb, an event that raises funds for cancer research. No matter how much my legs might protest, I am determined to conquer this climb every year, even if one day it requires the assistance of my sons. The cause is too important to ignore. I am willing to push through any pain or discomfort to show my support for the ongoing efforts to find a cure for cancer.

CLIMB, CONQUER, CURE CANCER!

Today’s event raised a third of a million dollars, but I still need to achieve my goal. You can still donate to help fund a cure!

Donate to My Big Climb

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The Jan Lilien Education Fund!

I Conquered Twenty-Six Floors for Jan
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A Love Story from the End of the World

Read: January 2026

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A Love Story from the End of the World

by Juhea Kim

Juhea Kim, the acclaimed author of Beasts of a Little Land and City of Night Birds, presents an exquisite collection of stories that explores the delicate balance between humans and the natural world. With the clear-eyed reverence of Richard Powers and the sparkling sincerity of George Saunders, her first story collection, A Love Story from the End of the World, offers a breathtaking view of our fractured world—and our broken hearts. Through its passionate narrative, the collection serves as a poignant reminder that, as humans, we are nothing without nature.

Spanning multiple locales and time periods, and rendered in fine detail and vivid color, this transportive collection illustrates what it means to live as human inhabitants of our singular, miraculous planet.

Lyrical, at times hilarious, and always heartfelt, each of these ten stories reflects individual choices in the face of “man-made” apocalypses. In a near-future Seoul, where air pollution has become so severe that a translucent biodome has covered the city, a civil engineer responsible for its upkeep considers an arranged marriage. A painter, disenchanted with New York City, travels to the South of France and becomes romantically involved with an entrepreneur who claims to have invented a new color. Meanwhile, on an island where the Indian and Pacific Oceans converge, and where foreign countries have dumped their waste, causing a landfill mountain to form, a local boy facing daily hardships gains internet fame for his K-pop-inspired dances.


Juhea Kim is the author of the novel Beasts of a Little Land, which was a finalist for the Dayton Literary Peace Prize and the winner of the Yasnaya Polyana Literary Award, Russia’s most significant annual award in literature. It has been translated into many languages and is for television. She is also the author of City of Night Birds, which was a Reese’s Book Club pick.

A graduate of Princeton University, her writing has been published in Granta, the Times Literary Supplement, the Independent, Zyzzyva, Guernica<, and other outlets. She is an advocate for wildlife conservation, animal rights, and education and aid in Africa. Born in Korea and raised in Portland, Oregon, Kim now lives in London.



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The Great Divide: A Novel

Read: June 2024

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The Great Divide: A Novel

by Cristina Henriquez

I began to read “The Great Divide: A Novel” by Cristina Henriquez today. The book stood out for its compassionate exploration of the lives of activists, fishmongers, laborers, journalists, neighbors, doctors, and soothsayers. It sheds light on individuals whose essential contributions history overlooks. The novel weaves these characters’ stories in a unique and compelling narrative structure.

Set against the backdrop of the yet-to-be-built Panama Canal, the book delves into the lives of various characters. Francisco, a local fisherman, resents the foreign powers vying for control of his homeland. His son, Omar, works in the excavation zone, seeking connection in a rapidly changing world.

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Beautiful World, Where Are You

Read: July 2022

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Beautiful World, Where Are You

by Sally Rooney

Beautiful World, Where Are You by Sally Rooney, a writer recommended to me, but I have always kept them on the to-read list, not the current reading. Does a beautiful word exist? Is it possible to live in a beautiful world despite the loss of the love of my life? Perhaps reading  Beautiful World, Where Are You, will help me in my grief journey.

Ms. Rooney’s book was a page-turner, and I highly recommend it.

One of the quotes from the book echoed my dream of a beautiful world.

“When I try to picture for myself what a happy life might look like, the picture hasn’t changed very much since I was a child – a house with flowers and trees around it, and a river nearby, and a room full of books, and someone there to love me, that’s all. Just to make a home there, and to care for my parents when they grow older. Never to move, never to board a plane again, just to live quietly and then be buried in the earth.” ― Sally Rooney, Beautiful World, Where Are You

It also helped remind me how unique and memorable the love that Jan and I shared was. We could quickly fall into a life lived separately as friends, or we might not have ever fallen in love and married.

As Sally Rooney in Beautiful World, Where Are You, wrote:

“If God wanted me to give you up, he wouldn’t have made me who I am.”

The Goodreads summary provides an overview.

Alice, a novelist, meets Felix, who works in a warehouse, and asks him if he’d like to travel to Rome with her. In Dublin, her best friend, Eileen, is getting over a breakup and slips back into flirting with Simon, a man she has known since childhood. Alice, Felix, Eileen, and Simon are still young—but life is catching up with them. They desire each other, they delude each other, they get together, and they break apart. They have sex, they worry about sex, and they worry about their friendships and the world they live in. Are they standing in the last lighted room before the darkness, bearing witness to something? Will they find a way to believe in a beautiful world?


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The Cemetery of Untold Stories

Read: April 2024

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The Cemetery of Untold Stories

by Julia Alvarez

Today, I began reading Julia Alvarez‘s novel “The Cemetery of Untold Stories.” The book explores whose stories deserve to be told and whose should remain buried. In the end, Alma, the main character, finds meaning in the power of storytelling. Julia Alvarez reminds us that our stories are never truly finished, even at the end.

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Read: May 2024

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Worry: A Novel

by Alexandra Tanner

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Life After Life

Read: August 2024

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Life After Life

by Kate Atkinson

Today, I embarked on the journey of Kate Atkinson‘s ‘Life After Life,’ a novel that has secured its place among The New York Times 100 Best Books of the Century. The book presents a unique and thought-provoking premise: What if you could live multiple lives until you found the perfect one? With its darkly comic, startlingly poignant, and utterly original narrative, it’s a testament to Kate Atkinson‘s unparalleled storytelling prowess.

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