Richard W. shared a stream on May 28, 2022
A Year of Love and Change

A Year of Love and Change

Estimated reading time: 0 minutes, 53 seconds

Love Never DiesLast night, our family observed Jan’s first Yahrzeit. It is now officially a year since the love of my life died.

Neither the secular nor Hebrew calendars are wrong, but it still seems I was kissing Jan for the last time yesterday.

I am not the same person who met Jan or the one who married her, raised a family, and loved each other forever.

Of course, I am also not the same person who buried her a year ago or even celebrated her life a month ago.

As Elizabeth Kubler-Ross and David Kessler wrote,

You will be whole again, but you will never be the same. Nor should you be the same, nor would you want to.

I have changed in the last year, but my love for Jan has grown.

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Jan's First  Yahrtzeit

Jan’s Yahrzeit Reminds Me Why Love Never Dies

During my walk, I remembered a passage from Rachel Kodanaz's book "Living with Loss, One Day at a Time" on page 138. The passage poses a thought-provoking question about whether someone would rather have their years shortened or not have any at all.

Reflecting on this question, my answer remains unchanged. Although the thought of Jan's life ending when we first met would have initially caused me great sadness, I would have eventually come to focus on the love we shared rather than the time we lost.

Richard W. Brown May 22, 2022

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Richard W. Brown
A Year of Love and Change

Epitaph: Love Never Dies

Estimated reading time: 0 minutes, 53 seconds

My daughter-in-laws Karen Tillou and Elyssa Nucero read Epitaph by Merrit Malloy at Celebrate Jan Day, April 24, 2022.

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The Shadow King: A Novel

Read: April 2022

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The Shadow King: A Novel

by Maaza Mengiste

The Shadow King: A Novel by Maaza Mengiste is a book happened to offer two often overlooked threads of history. The first is Mussolini’s 1935 invasion of Ethiopia. The second one I am most interested in is the women soldiers who were left out of the historical record. I highly recommend The Shadow King. It is a gorgeously crafted and unputdownable exploration of female power and what it means to be a woman at war.

Hirut and Aster come alive in Maaza Mengiste talented writing. Their struggles to be seen as equal in a society at war is engaging. Hirut’s plan to create a shadow kingpin the absence of Emperor Haile Selassie is one that turns defeat into victory.

Goodreads provides a good overview of the book.

With the threat of Mussolini’s army looming, recently orphaned Hirut struggles to adapt to her new life as a maid in Kidane and his wife Aster’s household. Kidane, an officer in Emperor Haile Selassie’s army, rushes to mobilize his most muscular men before the Italians invaded. His initial kindness to Hirut shifts into flinty cruelty when she resists his advances. Hirut finds herself tumbling into a new world of thefts and violations, betrayals, and overwhelming rage. Meanwhile, Mussolini’s technologically advanced army prepared for an easy victory. Hundreds of thousands of Italians―Jewish photographer Ettore among them―march on Ethiopia seeking adventure.

As the war begins in earnest, Hirut, Aster, and the other women long to do more than care for the wounded and bury the dead. When Emperor Haile Selassie goes into exile and Ethiopia quickly loses hope, Hirut offers a plan to maintain morale. She helps disguise a gentle peasant as the emperor and soon becomes his guard, inspiring other women to take arms against the Italians. But how could she have predicted her war as a prisoner of one of Italy’s most vicious officers, who would force her to pose before Ettore’s camera?

What follows is a gorgeously crafted and unputdownable exploration of female power, with Hirut as the fierce, original, and brilliant voice at its heart. In incandescent, lyrical prose, Maaza Mengiste breathes life into complicated characters on both sides of the battle line, shaping a heartrending, unforgettable exploration of what it means to be a woman at war.

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Half His Age

Read: January 2026

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Half His Age: A Novel

by Jennette McCurdy

Half His Age by Jennette McCurdy is a strikingly insightful and humorously poignant character study of a yearning seventeen-year-old girl who faces numerous obstacles—or attempts to overcome them—in her quest to be seen, desired, and loved. This novel is a blend of sadness, humor, and thrills, exploring themes of sex, consumerism, class, desire, loneliness, the internet, rage, intimacy, power, and the often misguided lengths we go to obtain what we want. The New York Times has listed it as one of “The Novels Everyone Will Be Talking About in 2026.”

Waldo is ravenous. Horny. Blunt. Naive. Wise. Impulsive. Lonely. Angry. Forceful. Hurting. Perceptive. Endlessly wanting. And the thing she wants most of all: Mr. Korgy, her creative writing teacher with the wife and the kid and the mortgage and the bills, with the dead dreams and the atrophied looks and the growing paunch. She doesn’t know why she wants him. Is it his passion? His life experience? The fact that he knows books and films and things that she doesn’t? Or is it purer than that, rooted in their unlikely connection, their kindred spirits, the similar filter with which they each take in the world around them? Or, it’s just enough that he sees her when no one else does.

Jennette McCurdy is the #1 New York Times bestselling author of “I’m Glad My Mom Died,” which won the 2023 American Library Association Alex Award. The book has been published in over thirty countries and has sold more than three million copies. McCurdy is also creating, writing, and executive producing an Apple TV+ series loosely inspired by “I’m Glad My Mom Died,” starring Jennifer Aniston. Additionally, “Half His Age” is her debut novel.

Discover your next favorite book and dive into a world of curated, exciting reads by purchasing through my links. You’ll have access to a diverse selection of books I’ve personally vetted for quality and enjoyment. Additionally, by supporting these selections, you’ll help me continue to provide you with more personalized recommendations. I earn a small commission from your purchase, which allows me to buy and share even more books with you. Your support truly makes a difference!

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An Assassin in Utopia: The True Story of a Nineteenth-Century Sex Cult and a President's Murder

Read: February 2023

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An Assassin in Utopia

by Susan Wels

An Assassin in Utopia: The True Story of a Nineteenth-Century Sex Cult and a President’s Murder by Susan Wels is a true crime odyssey that explores a forgotten, astonishing chapter of American history, leading the reader from a free-love community in upstate New York to the shocking assassination of President James Garfield. I had read about this historical period in several other books, most recently Civil War by Other Means.

Susan Wels has written an excellent historical overview of a period we often overlook. I highly recommend An Assassin in Utopia: The True Story of a Nineteenth-Century Sex Cult and a President’s Murder.

The Oneida Community, even though it was the most successful utopian community, is often overlooked. Ms. Wels connects the dots and places the experiment in the center of a transitional period. It is not merely the connection between Charles Julius Guitea and his assassination of President James Garfield, albeit a brutal crime, that shook America to its core, but all of the other linkages. These include “John Humphrey Noyes; his idol, the eccentric newspaper publisher Horace Greeley (founder of the New Yorker and the New York Tribune).”

She also resurrects the importance of the Wormely Compromise and the African-American family that was an instrumental part of public society.

I have found fiction to be something I enjoy, but I knew it was time for a non-fiction book to balance my reading. The New York Times and other publications highly rated An Assassin in Utopia.

The Goodreads summary provides an overview,

It was heaven on earth—and, some whispered, the devil’s garden.

Thousands came by trains and carriages to see this new Eden, carved from hundreds of acres of wild woodland. They marveled at orchards bursting with fruit, thick herds of Ayrshire cattle and Cotswold sheep, and whizzing mills. They gaped at the people who lived in this place—especially the women, with their queer cropped hair and shamelessly short skirts. The men and women of this strange outpost worked and slept together—without sin, they claimed.

From 1848 to 1881, a small utopian colony in upstate New York—the Oneida Community—was known for its shocking sexual practices, from open marriage and free love to the sexual training of young boys by older women. And in 1881, a one-time member of the Oneida Community—Charles Julius Guiteau—assassinated President James Garfield in a brutal crime that shook America to its core.

An Assassin in Utopia is the first book that weaves together these explosive stories in a tale of utopian experiments, political machinations, and murder. This deeply researched narrative—by bestselling author Susan Wels—tells the true, interlocking stories of the Oneida Community and its radical founder, John Humphrey Noyes; his idol, the eccentric newspaper publisher Horace Greeley (founder of the New Yorker and the New York Tribune); and the gloomy, indecisive President James Garfield—who was assassinated after his first six months in office.

Juxtaposed to their stories is the odd tale of Garfield’s assassin, the demented Charles Julius Guiteau, who was connected to all of them in extraordinary, surprising ways.

Against a vivid backdrop of ambition, hucksterism, epidemics, and spectacle, the book’s interwoven stories fuse together in the climactic murder of President Garfield in 1881—at the same time as the Oneida Community collapsed.

Colorful and compelling, An Assassin in Utopia is a page-turning odyssey through America’s nineteenth-century cultural and political landscape.

The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

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The Boy from the Sea

Read: May 2025

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The Boy from the Sea

by Garrett Carr

The Boy from the Sea by Garrett Carr is set on the west coast of Ireland during the 1970s and 1980s. This captivating debut novel tells the story of a baby boy found on the beach near a small fishing town, narrated by the locals who become enchanted by him. Both outrageously funny and profoundly moving, The Boy from the Sea showcases the talent of an essential new voice in Irish literature.

In 1973, a baby boy was discovered on the beach of a close-knit fishing village in Ireland. Fisherman Ambrose Bonnar offers to bring the child into his family, which includes his son Declan, his wife Christine, and, up the lane, Christine’s sister and aging father. The townspeople remain fascinated by the baby, whom they name Brendan, as he grows into a strange yet charismatic young man.

The Boy from the Sea tells the story of a family and a community thrown into turmoil by Brendan’s arrival. The family’s fortunes rise and fall over the years, just as the town does because nothing happens to one family here without affecting them all. The forces of a voracious global economy and modernized commercial fishing wreak havoc on their way of life. In the village, Brendan and Declan are wildly different and often at odds; meanwhile, Ambrose worries about his children but cannot divert his attention from the brutal work that keeps his family afloat. As the world around them changes, the mystery of Brendan’s origins draws them toward a surprising and stormy fate.

Garrett Carr teaches creative writing at the Seamus Heaney Centre at Queen’s University Belfast and frequently contributes to The Guardian and The Irish Times. His nonfiction work, The Rule of the Land: Walking Ireland’s Border, was chosen as a BBC Radio 4 Book of the Week. The Boy from the Sea marks Carr’s debut novel.

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Don’t miss out on this exciting opportunity! Enjoy a limited-time offer of 20% off your next book purchase at Bookshop.org! It’s the perfect chance to add this compelling novel to your collection.

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So Far Gone

Read: June 2025

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So Far Gone: A Novel

by Jess Walter

For the week before Father’s Day, I read So Far Gone by Jess Walter, a hilarious, empathetic, and brilliantly provocative adventure through life in modern America about a reclusive journalist forced back into the world to rescue his kidnapped grandchildren. Is this gripping tale of a grandfather’s love and determination the perfect read for the upcoming Father’s Day?

Rhys Kinnick, a character who has truly gone off the grid, provides a humorous twist to the story. At Thanksgiving a few years back, a fed-up Rhys punched his conspiracy theorist son-in-law in the mouth, chucked his smartphone out a car window, and fled for a cabin in the woods with no one around except a pack of hungry raccoons.

Now, Kinnick’s old life is about to land right back on his crumbling doorstep. Can this failed husband and father, a man with no internet and a car that barely runs, reemerge into a broken world to track down his missing daughter and save his sweet, precocious grandchildren from the members of a dangerous militia?

With the help of his caustic ex-girlfriend, a bipolar retired detective, and his only friend (who happens to be furious with him), Kinnick, a man who is struggling with his past and his present, heads off on a wild journey through cultural lunacy and the rubble of a life he thought he’d left behind. According to the Philadelphia Inquirer, So Far Gone is a rollicking, razor-sharp, and moving road trip through a fractured nation from a writer who has been called “a genius of the modern American moment.”

Jess Walter is the author of seven previous novels, including the bestsellers The Cold Millions and Beautiful Ruins, the National Book Award Finalist The Zero, and Citizen Vince, winner of the Edgar Award for best novel. His short fiction, collected in The Angel of Rome and We Live in Water, has won the O. Henry Prize and the Pushcart Prize and appeared three times in Best American Short Stories. He lives in his hometown of Spokane, Washington.

When you purchase a book through one of my links, I earn a small commission that helps support my passion for reading. This contribution allows me to buy even more books to share with you, creating an incredible cycle of discovering great reads together! Your support truly makes a difference!

Enjoy a limited-time offer of 20% off your next book purchase at Bookshop.org!

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Some Bright Nowhere

Read: November 2025

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Some Bright Nowhere

by Ann Packer

Ann Packer makes a triumphant return with a powerful novel, which is both tender and raw, visceral and unexpected. Emotionally vibrant and complex, Some Bright Nowhere explores the profound gifts and unforeseen costs of truly loving someone, as well as the fears and desires we experience as the end of life approaches. What if your partner’s dying wish broke your heart? How well do we know the deepest desires of those we love dearly?

The beloved bestselling author returns with her first novel in over a decade, offering an intimate and profoundly moving examination of a long marriage and how a startling request can change a couple’s understanding of themselves, both together and apart.

Eliot and his wife, Claire, have been happily married for nearly four decades. They raised two children in their quiet Connecticut town and have weathered the inevitable ups and downs of a long life together. However, eight years after Claire was diagnosed with cancer, the end is near, and it is time to gather loved ones and prepare for the inevitable.

Throughout Claire’s illness, Eliot has willingly—lovingly—taken on the role of caregiver, appreciating the intimacy and tenderness that come with this role, which is even more layered and complex than that of a devoted husband. But as he settles into what will be their last days and weeks together, Claire makes an unexpected request that leaves him reeling. In an instant, his carefully constructed world shatters.

As Eliot confronts this profound turning point in his marriage and his life, he grapples with the man and husband he has been, as well as the uncertainties of Claire’s final days.

Ann Packer is the author of five previous works of fiction, including the bestselling novels The Children’s Crusade and The Dive from Clausen’s Pier, which received the Kate Chopin Literary Award along with numerous other prizes and honors.

Her short stories have appeared in The New Yorker and the O. Henry Prize Stories anthologies, and her novels have been translated and published internationally. Packer divides her time between New York, the Bay Area, and Maine.

Discover your next favorite book and dive into a world of curated, exciting reads by purchasing through my links. You’ll have access to a diverse selection of books I’ve personally vetted for quality and enjoyment. Additionally, by supporting these selections, you’ll help me continue to provide you with more personalized recommendations. I earn a small commission from your purchase, which allows me to buy and share even more books with you. Your support truly makes a difference!

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