Time Confusion

Time Plays a Game With Me

Estimated reading time: 0 minutes, 33 seconds

Why is time confusing me? Jan and I had 2,477 weeks and one day together. All of that has now been crunched and digitized into 0’s and 1’s.

All of our memories now fit on a thumb drive smaller than my pinkie fingernail.

At times it seems as if our last kiss was five nanoseconds ago. More often, each day feels like a year since she graced my life with happiness.

How can all my memories shrink compared to the last 22 weeks? Oh, how I wish I could relive each moment of our life together.

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Time Confusion
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Nothing but the Truth

Read: December 2024

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Nothing But The Truth

by Robyn Gigl

Today, I started reading “Nothing But the Truth,” the fourth book in Robyn Gigl‘s Erin McCabe Legal Thriller series. The New York Times has selected it as one of the Best Crime Novels 2024. I have also read “The Hunter” and “Gods of Wood,” which are on the same list. Nothing but the Truth is a gripping and timely thriller exploring murder, prejudice, and police corruption.

One of the reasons I decided to read this novel is that it—and the entire series—takes place mainly in Union County, particularly in Cranford, my hometown! Erin McCabe and her law partner get salads from the Gourmet Deli, and she dines with her husband at the Cranford Hotel. In this installment, Erin McCabe, a transgender attorney from the Garden State, discovers that uncovering the Truth can be deadly.

New Jersey State Trooper Jon Mazer has been charged with killing Black investigative reporter Russell Marshall in a racially charged, headline-making murder. The evidence against criminal defense attorney Erin McCabe’s new client is overwhelming. The gun used is Mazer’s off-duty weapon. Fingerprints and carpet fibers link Mazer to the crime. And Mazer was patrolling Marshall’s neighborhood shortly before the victim took three bullets to the chest. Mazer’s argument? He’s a gay officer being set up to take the fall in an even bigger story.

Mazer swears he was a secret source for Marshall’s exposé about the Lords of Discipline. The covert gang operating within the New Jersey State Police is notorious for enforcing its code of harassing women, framing minorities, and out-powering any troopers who don’t play their rogue and racist games. With everyone from the governor to the county prosecutor on the wrong side of justice, Erin and her partner, Duane Swisher, are prepared to do anything to ensure Mazer doesn’t become another victim.

As Erin deals with an intensely personal issue at home and faces an uphill battle to prove her client’s innocence, she and Duane find themselves mired in a conspiracy of corruption more profound than they imagined—and far more dangerous than they feared.



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Flesh

Read: May 2025

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Flesh: A Novel

by David Szalay

David Szalay, a finalist for the Booker Prize, has written a gripping and mesmerizing novel, Flesh, which follows a man whose life is turned upside down by events beyond his control. Concise and thought-provoking, Flesh delves into the subtle yet lasting effects of unresolved trauma amid the instability and violence of an increasingly globalized Europe. The novel offers sharp insights, unwavering emotional depth, and a remarkable portrayal of humanity.

Teenaged István lives with his mother in a quiet apartment complex in Hungary. Shy and new to the area, he struggles to engage with the social rituals of his classmates and soon becomes isolated. His only companion is his neighbor, a married woman of a similar age to his mother, whom he begrudgingly assists with errands. As their periodic encounters evolve into a clandestine relationship that István can barely comprehend, his life spirals out of control, culminating in a violent accident that results in a man’s death.

A tumultuous journey unfolds as István emigrates from Hungary to London, navigating a series of jobs before securing steady employment as a driver for London’s affluent elite. At each stage, his life is influenced by the goodwill or self-interest of strangers. Throughout it all, István remains a calm, detached observer of his existence. Through his perspective, we experience a tragic twist on the immigrant “success story,” lit by moments of sensitivity, softness, and Szalay’s keen observations.

Fast-paced and immersive, Flesh reveals István’s life through intimate moments with lovers, employers, and family members, charting his experiences over several decades. As the story unfolds, the tension between what is seen and unseen, and what can and cannot be expressed, intensifies until, ultimately, a sudden tragedy jeopardizes István’s life yet again.


David Szalay is the author of Turbulence, London and the South-East, and All That Man Is. He has been awarded the Gordon Burn Prize and the Paris Review Plimpton Prize for Fiction, and has been shortlisted for the Man Booker Prize. Born in Canada, he grew up in London and now lives in Vienna. His most recent novel is Flesh.



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The Book of I

Read: October 2025

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The Book of I: A Novel

by David Greig

The Book of I” by David Greig is a remarkable debut novel from Scotland, shortlisted for both the Highland Book Prize and the Bookmark Book Festival Book of the Year. This unique work offers a philosophical exploration of themes such as guilt, redemption, humanity, love, and the beliefs we hold dear. Told with humor and enhanced by sharply vivid dialogue, David Greig skillfully bridges the gap between our contemporary world and the past.

Set in the year 825 CE, the story unfolds in the aftermath of a brutal attack by northern raiders, leaving an unlikely trio as the sole survivors on a remote Scottish island. The survivors include Brother Martin, a young monk who is the only member of the local monastery to escape martyrdom; Una, a beekeeper and mead maker who has freed herself from her violent husband during the chaos; and Grimur, an aging Norseman who digs himself out of a makeshift grave where his fellow raiders had left him, believing him to be dead.

As the seasons change in this wild and isolated environment, their initial distrust of one another evolves into a complex exploration of the distances and connections among them. “The Book of I” is a unique novel that serves as a philosophical commentary on guilt, redemption, humanity, love, and the beliefs we choose to embrace.


David Greig is a renowned Scottish writer whose plays have been performed extensively across the UK and internationally. His notable works for the theatre include The Strange Undoing of Prudencia Hart, Touching the Void, Midsummer, The Events, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, Local Hero, and Macbeth (also known as Dunsinane). He served as the Artistic Director of Edinburgh’s Lyceum Theatre from 2015 to 2025. The Book of I marks his debut novel.



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A House for Alice: A Novel

Read: September 2023

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A House for Alice: A Novel

by Diana Evans

I just started reading A House for Alice: A Novel by Diana Evans. The story is set against a complicated political backdrop but is filled with hope, humor, and humanity. A House for Alice explores the scars of grief and betrayal across generations and reveals the secrets we keep from our loved ones.

The novel opens with two tragedies that occur in London. The first is the Grenfell Tower fire, which took many lives. The second is the death of Cornelius Winston Pitt, a family patriarch who dies alone. A House for Alice is a beautiful and poignant story about a family of women shaken by loss and searching for closure.

The family matriarch, Alice, has lived in England for fifty years but longs to spend her remaining years in her homeland, Nigeria. Her three daughters are divided on the matter. The youngest daughter, Melissa, is also struggling with the aftermath of her failed relationship. The family’s foundational pillars of trust, love, and cultural identity begin to weaken as they navigate these difficult times.


The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

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What's Mine and Yours

Read: February 2022

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What’s Mine and Yours

by Naima Coster

What’s Mine and Yours by Naima Coster is one of the best books I have read in the last few years. At this moment in my life, family means more than ever. This book explores how families can collapse and find ways to reunite. Although my life circumstances are the polar opposite of the protagonists, the book’s central themes resonated with me.

The focus on integration in this Millenium is a subject that needs to be discussed openly and honestly. The racist response of some of the parents is told in a way that clarifies the pain that that can cause.

Even the parents who favor integration have their flaws, which are passed on to their children.

The children, especially Noelle and Gee, oppose their parent’s actions. The sins of their parents are sowed upon them as well.

I have placed this book on my list of novels for reading later this year or n 2023. Its themes are so strong that a second reading is required to engage with its multiple levels fully.

This is a Goodreads summary.

A community in the Piedmont of North Carolina rises in outrage as a county initiative draws students from the primarily Black east side of town into predominantly white high schools on the west. For two students, Gee and Noelle, the integration sets off a chain of events that will tie their two families together in unexpected ways over the next twenty years.

The debate is Jade, Gee’s steely, ambitious mother, on one side of the integration. In the aftermath of a severe loss, she is determined to give her son the tools he’ll need to survive in America as a sensitive, anxious, young Black man. On the other side is Noelle’s headstrong mother, Lacey May, a white woman who refuses to see her half-Latina daughters as anything but white. She strives to protect them as she couldn’t protect herself from the influence of their charming but unreliable father, Robbie.

When Gee and Noelle join the school play meant to bridge the divide between new and old students, their paths collide, and their two seemingly disconnected families begin to form deeply knotted, messy ties that will shape the trajectory of their adult lives. And their mothers-each determined to see her child inherit a better life-will make choices that will haunt them for decades to come.

As love is built and lost, and the past never too far behind, What’s Mine and Yours is an expansive, vibrant tapestry that moves between the years, from the foothills of North Carolina to Atlanta, Los Angeles, and Paris. It explores every family’s unique organism: what breaks them apart and how they come back together.

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You Are Here: A Novel

Read: May 2024

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You Are Here: A Novel

by David Nicholls

I began reading “You Are Here: A Novel” by David Nicholls today. The book, written by the internationally bestselling and Booker Prize-longlisted author of One Day, is an uplifting love story about second chances. It revolves around the idea I learned from grief: sometimes, one must get lost to find their way. The main character, Michael, struggles to cope with the aftermath of his wife’s departure.

He seeks comfort in solitary walks across the English countryside and becomes increasingly reclusive, trying to escape the emptiness of his home.

Meanwhile, Marnie is feeling stuck. She isolates herself in her London flat, avoiding old friends and reminders of her selfish ex-husband. She spends her time with books, battling the feeling that life is passing her by.

A mutual friend and some unpredictable weather bring Michael and Marnie together on a ten-day hike, which both are not thrilled about. However, they find exactly what they’ve been searching for during the journey.

As they stand at the threshold of a promising future, Michael and Marnie’s journey becomes a testament to the resilience of the human spirit.

By bestselling author David Nicholls, “You Are Here” is a hilarious, hopeful, and heartwarming love story. It is a bittersweet and hopeful tale of first encounters, second chances, and finding the way home.

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