January 6, 2021, Changed My Life

Memories of Jan and the Insurrection

Estimated reading time: 2 minutes, 13 seconds

I sometimes have a fuzzy memory, but I vividly recall January 6, 2021, because of how it changed everything for me. My wife, Jan, was working from home, and we both felt hopeful that she was on her way to becoming a cancer survivor after her CAR-T therapy. In the morning, I helped her into the recliner on the second floor, set up her laptop, and brought over the files she needed. Her voice was full and vibrant—something I hadn’t heard in over a year. As I moved between floors, fetching whatever she required, I even heard her laugh. When Ana called from the YWCA, she encouraged Jan to watch the attack on the U.S. Capitol. I turned on the TV, and both of our moods sank like a rock to the bottom of the sea.

“How can this be happening?” Jan asked, echoing Ana’s sentiments from the call. I reassured her that the events unfolding in D.C. to halt the peaceful transfer of power would mark a turning point, leading to accountability for the perpetrators and a return to our founding principle that all people are created equal.

Five years later, the reality is entirely different from what we believed back then. We were unaware that my wife had four months to live. If I had been a gambling man, I would have bet everything that she would be by my side on this anniversary.

Five years ago, I would have never imagined that the president who encouraged the attack on the U.S. Capitol would return to office and pardon those involved in the assault. I am confident that history will judge these events harshly. In his Gettysburg Address, President Abraham Lincoln highlighted the American ideals of liberty and equality. He believed the ongoing Civil War was a test of whether such a nation could endure. May we look back at January 6 as another test we survived and learned from.

After my wife’s rapid decline following January 6 and her passing in early May, my life took a significant turn. I will always miss her, but I have been working hard to become a better person, despite my many flaws. Although I am still on my healing journey, I am grateful for the support of family and friends and for remaining deeply connected to my community. Instead of merely existing after her loss, I’ve sought to understand my ‘why,’ which has allowed me to live genuinely. Over the past five years, I have focused on this purpose to ensure that I can continue living and sharing Jan’s love.