The Second Mountain: The Quest for a Moral Life

Game of Life or Life’s Story?

Estimated reading time: 1 minute, 3 seconds

Jon Brown Bar Mitzvah January 15, 1994I have referenced David Brooks, specifically The Second Mountain: The Quest for a Moral Life, and his essays about life’s essential issues.

His July 22, 2022, column, entitled Is Life a Story or a Game?, is one that resonated with me. A PDF link for those who do not subscribe to the NY Times.

I concur with Brooks’s opinion expressed in this paragraph.

Maturity means rising above the shallow desire — for status — that doesn’t really nourish us. It’s about cultivating the higher desires: The desire for a good and meaningful life that inspires people to commit daily acts of generosity.

My life as a widow has been made easier by writing a daily online journal. Few read it, which is fine as I am not writing for likes or shares.

My posts and streams are part of either a continuous love letter to Jan or the first draft of our love story.


The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. All donations are tax-deductible.

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The Second Mountain: The Quest for a Moral Life

The Second Mountain: The Quest for a Moral Life

When I read The Second Mountain, it became clear that Jan and I never even attempted to climb the first mountain. We were constantly climbing the second mountain. We had chosen to do work that repaired the world; we both had a faith community and lived in a community. All we were missing as far as commitments when we met was each other. Our love for each other provided the missing link and allowed us to climb to the top of the second mountain.

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The Second Mountain: The Quest for a Moral Life

Read: May 2019

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The Second Mountain: The Quest for a Moral Life

by David Brooks

The Second Mountain: The Quest for a Moral Life by David Brooks is a book I often recommend. Mr. Brooks writes about the first mountain that most people climb. The book challenges the reader to “live for a cause greater than themselves.”

It is about “to be a success, make your mark, experience personal happiness.” Even when they reach the top of the mountain, most people find they are unhappy. The climb to the summit has become unsatisfying.

On the second mountain, life moves from self-centered to other-centered.” Life becomes interdependent, not independent; it becomes a life of commitment, not about us.

Mr. Brooks “explores the four commitments that define a life of meaning and purpose: to a spouse and family, to a vocation, to a philosophy or faith, and to a community.

We live in a society, Brooks argues, that celebrates freedom, that tells us to be true to ourselves, at the expense of surrendering to a cause, rooting ourselves in a neighborhood, binding ourselves to others by social solidarity and love. We have taken individualism to the extreme—and in the process we have torn the social fabric in a thousand different ways.

When I read The Second Mountain, it became clear that Jan and I never even attempted to climb the first mountain. We were constantly climbing the second mountain.

We had chosen to do work that repaired the world; we both had a faith community and lived in a community.

All we were missing as far as commitments when we met was each other. Our love for each other provided the missing link and allowed us to climb to the top of the second mountain.


The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

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I receive a commission when you buy a book or product using a link on this page. Thank you for supporting Sharing Jan’s Love blog.

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The Second Mountain: The Quest for a Moral Life
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Salvage the Bones: A Novel

Read: September 2024

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Salvage the Bones: A Novel

by Jesmyn Ward

I’ve started reading “Salvage the Bones: A Novel” by Jesmyn Ward, a two-time National Book Award winner and author of “Sing, Unburied, Sing.” The book delivers a gritty yet tender story about family and poverty in the days leading up to Hurricane Katrina. Hurricane Helene’s devastation makes it the perfect time to read this book. The novel is among The New York Times’ 100 Best Books of the 21st Century.

The story is set in Bois Sauvage, Mississippi, where a hurricane is building over the Gulf of Mexico, threatening the city. Esch’s father is growing concerned, although he is often absent and a heavy drinker. Esch and her three brothers are stocking food, but there is little to save. Esch, who is fourteen, is pregnant and struggling to keep down the little food she gets. Her brother Skeetah is trying to care for his pit bull’s new litter, which is dying one by one. Meanwhile, brothers Randall and Junior struggle with family dynamics and lack parental guidance.

As the twelve days that make up the novel’s framework yield their dramatic conclusion, this unforgettable family – motherless children sacrificing for one another, protecting and nurturing where love is scarce – pulls itself up to face another day. The novel is a big-hearted story about familial love and community against all odds, offering a wrenching look at the lonesome, brutal, and restrictive realities of rural poverty. “Salvage the Bones” is a revelatory, honest, and poignant exploration of social issues, filled with poetry and emotional depth.

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Read: August 2021

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The Hidden Life of Trees

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The Hidden Life of Trees: What They Feel, How They Communicate ― Discoveries from A Secret World is a book I have wanted but had not had the time to read. In July of this year, when I was still in the early stages of my recovery journey, I talked to a friend of my wife’s (whom I now count as my friend) about our plans to plant a tree in Hanson Park.

As I talked about our plans, my friend suggested I read this book as it would help me understand the importance of trees. I will forever be grateful for her recommendation, as it made me read this book sooner than later.

To read that trees have a social network with more prominent, healthier trees concerned about the smaller, weaker ones. How is it that humans, a supposedly advanced species, have a social network that divides and weakens our community?

Are trees social beings? In The Hidden Life of Trees forester and author Peter Wohlleben convincingly makes the case that, yes, the forest is a social network. He draws on groundbreaking scientific discoveries to describe how trees are like human families: tree parents live together with their children, communicate with them, support them as they grow, share nutrients with those who are sick or struggling, and even warn each other of impending dangers. Wohlleben also shares his deep love of woods and forests, explaining the amazing processes of life, death, and regeneration he has observed in his woodland.

Having read this book, I am more sensitive to trees and have enjoyed my walks more than ever. In addition, when we plant Jan’s tree in Hanson Park, I will now have even more reasons to talk about the importance of trees to Jan, myself, and the community.

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Read: November 2024

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Us Fools: A Novel

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Joanne and Bernadette Fareown, born and raised on a family farm in rural Illinois, are deeply impacted by their parents’ tumultuous relationship and mounting financial debt, haunted by the unsettling history of the women in their family. Left to fend for themselves, the sisters delve into Greek mythology, feminism, and Virginia Woolf. As they grapple with these trying circumstances, they must devise unique coping mechanisms and question the validity of the American Dream. At the same time, the rest of the nation disregards their struggling community.

Jo and Bernie’s imaginative efforts to escape their parents’ harsh realities ultimately fall short, prompting the family to relocate to Chicago. There, Joanne—free-spirited, reckless, and struggling to manage her inner turmoil—rebels in increasingly desperate ways. After undergoing her most significant breakdown yet, Jo goes into exile in Deadhorse, Alaska. Bernadette takes it upon herself to apply everything she has learned from her sister to rekindle a sense of hope in a failing world.

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Read: June 2024

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Reunion: A Novel

by Elise Juska

Today, I immersed myself in the distinct world of Reunion: A Novel by Elise Juska. This enthralling narrative, crafted by the esteemed author of The Blessings, transports us alongside three middle-aged friends as they live during a college reunion in coastal Maine. Reunion, my forty-eighth read this year and my 250th since January 15, 2019, stands out for its compelling storytelling.

It’s June 2021, and three old college friends are heading to New England for the twenty-fifth reunion that was delayed the year before. Hope, a stay-at-home mom, is desperate to return to her beloved campus, a reprieve from her tense marriage and the stresses of pandemic parenting. Adam hesitates to leave his rustic but secluded life with his wife and young sons. Single mother Polly hasn’t been back to campus in more than twenty years and has no interest in returning—but changes her mind when her struggling teenage son suggests a road trip.

Yet, the reunion takes an unforeseen path, shattering their preconceptions. Hope, renowned for her sunny outlook, is forced to confront the harsh realities of her life and the fractures in her friendships. Adam embarks on a journey of self-discovery, reigniting the spirit of his carefree contrast to his current responsibilities. A single mother, Polly is compelled to face the shadows of her past,  youth, and a stark, long-kept secret. As the weekend takes a dramatic turn, all three are pushed to confront their past and its implications for the future, leading to profound personal transformation.

Beautifully observed and insightful, Reunion is a page-turning novel about the highs and lows of friendship from a writer at the height of her powers. Elise Juska’s skill in portraying the intricate dynamics of friendship will leave you intrigued and wanting more.

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Read: July 2024

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We the Animals

by Justin Torres

Today, I embarked on the literary journey of We the Animals by Justin Torres. This novel, listed among the New York Times’ 100 Best Books of the Century, is a groundbreaking work of art. The author of Blackouts immerses us in the tumultuous heart of a family, the intense bonds of three brothers, and the mythic impact of this fierce love on the individuals we are destined to become.

The narrative unfolds as three brothers navigate their way through childhood, a journey filled with emotional highs and lows, from playful acts like smashing tomatoes on each other to finding solace in each other’s company during their parents’ conflicts and even tiptoeing around the house as their mother rests after her graveyard shift. Paps and Ma, hailing from Brooklyn—he’s Puerto Rican, she’s white—share a profound and challenging love, shaping and reshaping the family numerous times. Life in this family is intense and all-consuming, filled with disorder, heartache, and the ecstasy of belonging to each other.

From the intense familial unity, a child feels to the profound alienation he endures as he begins to see the world, this beautiful novel doesn’t just tell a coming-of-age story; it reinvents it in a sly and punch-in-the-stomach powerful way. It delves into themes such as love, the meaning of family, and heartache, adding another layer of depth and complexity to the story.

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The Furrows- A Novel

Read: October 2022

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The Furrows: A Novel

by Namwali Serpell

The Furrows: A Novel by Namwali Serpell is a bold exploration of memory and mourning that twists unexpectedly into a story of mistaken identity, double consciousness, and the wishful—and sometimes willful—longing for reunion with those we’ve lost. Namwali Serpell’s remarkable new novel captures the uncanny experience of grief, the way the past breaks over the present like waves in the sea. I highly recommend this book.

The Furrows: A Novel reminded me of my longing to be reunited with Jan. I know it is impossible, but that does not keep me from desiring the unattainable. Reading this novel helped me remind me that Jan is still with me in spirit and that is far better than reuniting with her.

The Goodreads summary provides an overview,

Cassandra Williams is twelve, and her little brother Wayne is seven. One day, an accident happens when they’re alone together, and Wayne is lost forever. Or so it seems. Though his body is never recovered, their mother, unable to give up hope, launches an organization dedicated to missing children. Their father leaves and starts another family somewhere else.

As C grows older, she sees her brother everywhere: in coffee shops, airplane aisles, subway cars, and cities on either coast. Here is her brother’s more aging face, the light in his eyes, his lanky limbs, the way he seems to recognize her too. But it can’t be, of course. Or can it? Disaster strikes again, and C meets a man, both mysterious and strangely familiar, who is also searching for someone and his place in the world. His name is Wayne.

Namwali Serpell’s remarkable novel captures the ongoing and uncanny experience of grief–the past breaking over the present like waves in the sea. The Furrows is a bold and beautiful exploration of memory and mourning that twists unexpectedly into a masterful story of black identity, double consciousness, and the wishful and sometimes willful longing for reunion with those we’ve lost.


The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

Subscribe

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I receive a commission when you buy a book or product using a link on this page. Thank you for supporting Sharing Jan’s Love blog.

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