Love is a Magical Force!

Estimated reading time: 14 minutes, 40 seconds

Too Far Away – October 2023

As I spoke, I could sense the tension in my voice, like a rubber band stretched to its limit. The distance between us was painfully apparent and seemed to keep us apart. I know we live far away from each other, not even in the same state,” I said, my frustration becoming more and more evident. We talked for over an hour, but it felt like we were going nowhere. I couldn’t hold back any longer and asked the woman I had fallen in love with the question that had been on my mind for so long: “How many times have I offered to visit you?” Her response was like a punch to the gut. It was the same answer I had heard every time we spoke, “Soon, we will be together.

After bidding her good night, I got out of bed to ensure all the lights were off, even though I knew they would be off as I had them connected to WiFi timers. It’s just one of those habits that I have developed over the years. After checking the lights, I paced around the room for a few minutes, taking a dozen steps to my parlor and back a few times. The rhythm of my footsteps echoed in the quiet room, and for a moment, I felt like I was the only person alive.

When I returned to the bed, something caught my eye on the right side of the bed. At first, I thought it was just my imagination playing tricks on me, but as I approached, it looked like someone was sitting on the edge of the bed. My heart skipped a beat, and I spoke quietly, hoping it was not a shadow or a trick of the light.

As I leaned closer to the bed, I realized that it was only the pillows I had held in my arms earlier to get me through the night. They were bunched up to look like human figures instead of feathers. A sense of relief washed over me, and I chuckled softly at my foolishness.

As I slipped under the covers and nestled into bed, I reached for my favorite pillow. Its plush texture and gentle embrace provided comfort I couldn’t find anywhere else. I closed my eyes and held onto it tightly, savoring the feeling as if it were a warm, comforting hug from a loved one. It may seem odd to some, but for me, there was nothing quite like the solace that this little inanimate object could bring.

As I lay there, surrounded by darkness and silence, I couldn’t help but feel a twinge of loneliness. I longed for a woman’s warm, comforting embrace, the kind of intimacy that only a human connection could provide. Desperate, I turned to the pillow beside me and whispered, “I love you!” To my surprise, the empty room echoed back with a faint whisper, as if the pillow had come to life and responded to my affirmation, and the pillow had been transformed into a real woman, providing me with the human connection I craved.

Feeling a sense of relief and contentment, I pulled the pillow closer to my chest and basked in its warmth and softness. I caressed the pillow as if I were exploring a woman’s body I had never touched. I kissed the cushion despite not finding any lips. My abdomen became warm, wet, and sticky, and my body collapsed in joy and exhaustion. I drifted to sleep, grateful for moments of pleasure and comfort.

I opened my eyes to a sense of emptiness and detachment. The feeling of being all by myself in a crowded world was overwhelming. As I lay there, I couldn’t help but wonder, if the only way to find solace was by hugging a pillow, then what kind of existence was I leading? Was I a living, breathing human being, or just a machine going through the motions of life?

Love is All You Need, Or Is It? March 31, 2021

“Richard, promise me you won’t live alone for the rest of your life if something happens to me,” Jan’s voice was so loud that I was sure everyone on the fourth floor could hear her. She had been home for two days after spending weeks in the hospital. I knew that she was not well and that she might not survive, which frightened me. I asked if she believed anyone would want an older man like me.

“Richard, you are a great husband, and I appreciate how much you care for me and how focused you are on my needs,” she firmly stated, “especially when we make love.” Despite my best efforts to avoid blushing, my face turned red as the blood rushed to the surface. Jan then listed several women she said loved me and would be delighted to partner with me. Holding my hand, I stopped her and pointed out that almost all were happily married or had partners. However, she insisted there might be others, even some I might not know, who would be interested.

The room was filled with an eerie silence that seemed to last for an eternity. It felt as though the intense emotions of the moment had drained us of all our energy. That’s when Jan took a deep breath and looked me straight in my eyes. Her voice was gentle but firm as she said, “Don’t settle for just any warm body. I’m sure there will be women who will offer you that.” Despite trying to hide my emotions, I knew my face betrayed my confusion. Sensing my vulnerability, she continued, “Honey, I know you too well. Richard, be honest; you are not a one-night stand person. You’re special because you’re a romantic at heart, and you believe in love. If you fall in love again, make sure they love you just as much as you love them.”

I Am Not Alone

Despite the pain and weakness that she was experiencing, Jan leaned in and kissed me. As our lips parted, tears welled up in my eyes. “I don’t want you to be alone, but I don’t want you to be with someone who can’t love you unconditionally,” she whispered. Her words echoed in my mind long after our conversation ended, and I knew they would continue to guide me on my journey.

I held onto the hope that she would recover and I wouldn’t have to take any action. However, a voice in my head kept telling me that our time was running out. I couldn’t afford to be indecisive like Solomon and split the difference between the two options. Having read countless accounts of people’s last requests before they died, I spoke from my heart and said, “I don’t want to live alone.” Though I didn’t explicitly state that I wanted to fall in love again, it was implicit in my statement. The weight of my words hit me hard, and I felt a surge of emotions rush through me. Within a week, she returned home for hospice care because they couldn’t treat her lymphoma due to COVID or the COVID due to cancer. It was a sad moment, and I knew I had to make the most of the time we had left together.

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A Far-flung Life

Read: March 2026

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A Far-flung Life

by M.L. Stedman

When we experience something irreversible or unfixable, how do we continue living? How do we find our guiding star in the absence of clear answers? These questions lie at the heart of M. L. Stedman‘s unforgettable new novel, A Far-flung Life. From the acclaimed author of the beloved bestseller The Light Between Oceans, this sweeping epic explores a family, a tragedy, and the repercussions that echo for decades.

Set in remote Western Australia in 1958, the MacBride family has lived for generations on a vast sheep station called Meredith Downs, which spans a million acres of arid landscape. On an ordinary day, as patriarch Phil MacBride drives down a lonely road under the endless blue sky, he swerves to avoid a kangaroo. In that instant, it shatters the lives of the entire MacBride family. Tragedy strikes again when the consequences of this moment claim the life of one sibling and lead another to sacrifice everything for the well-being of an innocent child. Matt, the youngest MacBride, embarks on a moral and emotional journey for which there is neither a map nor a guide. The secrets at the core of this heartbreaking and beautiful story compel him to choose between love and duty, sacrifice and happiness.

A Far-flung Life is a tale of family and belonging, fate and time. It depicts individuals striving to do their best while each, for their own reasons, seeks shelter from life’s storms.

Can a fleeting moment unravel a life, marking it permanently and irrevocably? Can compassion, resilience, and forgiveness help us come to terms with our human imperfections? These are the profound questions Stedman explores in A Far-flung Life, her moving, uplifting, and luminous novel about the endurance of the heart for love’s sake.


M.L. Stedman was born and raised in Western Australia and now lives in London. The Light Between Oceans was her first novel. A Far-flung Life is her second novel.



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Aftermirth

Read: August 2022

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Aftermirth by Hillary Jordan

by Hillary Jordan

Aftermirth by Hillary Jordan is a book about grief as the two protagonists take a road trip that is a darkly funny journey of healing that takes them deep into the heart of their suffering and others, and then beyond it, to a place of peace and laughter. I had just finished reading When She Woke by Ms. Jordan and having enjoyed that book, reading a second one by the same author seemed reasonable.

When I selected this short novel to read, I questioned if it was a good choice for me.

I found it easier to read and, in some ways, helpful. It was like meeting fellow widows from my Zoom grief groups in person at Camp Widow. The ability to laugh about our loss and cry openly is essential to meeting fellow benefits.

Michael Larssen, the narrator, raised a question I have not and still do not want to consider. What if I am still alive, Jan was a great love but is not the love of my life?

“You can’t know that he was the love of your life, and do you know why? Because guess what, you aren’t dead yet. You may feel dead right now, and believe me I’ve been there, but the fact is, until you’re lying under a tombstone of your own you can’t be sure about anything. You could prick your finger on one of your roses tomorrow, and as you’re climbing the stairs to get a Band-Aid, you trip over one of the pugs and tumble to your death. Or you could meet a man in the checkout line at the grocery store–hell, you could meet a woman even and fall madly in love with her and end up with six kids and twenty grandkids. Michael looks over at Elena, then back at George. You just don’t know, George. That’s the thing. None of us does.”— Aftermirth (Kindle Single) by Hillary Jordan

Despite my anxiety about considering this disturbing question, I highly recommend Aftermirth by Hillary Jordan.

The Goodreads summary provides an overview.

I stopped being funny the day my wife was electrocuted by her underwire bra.” So begins “Aftermirth,” a dark comedy that explores the absurdity of death through the eyes of thirty-one-year-old comedian, writer, and actor Michael Larssen. What is funny to the rest of the world is devastating to Michael, who loves his wife deeply, exceptionally her bright, rippling, abandoned laughter, which captivated him from the first time he heard it. In the aftermath of her death, he loses his sense of humor and his career.

Then, after two years of mourning her, he sees an article in the paper about a factory worker named Julio Santiago who fell into a giant vat of dough and was kneaded to death. For reasons Michael doesn’t understand, he decides to go to the man’s wake. There he meets and bonds with Julio’s twenty-nine-year-old daughter Elena, a law student who is reeling from her father’s unexpected and preposterous death.

Three months later, she calls him out of the blue and suggests that the two of them drive to North Carolina to speak with another survivor like themselves Elena has found on the Internet. Their road trip is a darkly funny journey of healing that takes them deep into the heart of their grief and others and then beyond it to a place of peace and laughter.


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The Vanishing Half

Read: September 2021

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The Vanishing Half

by Brit Bennett

The Vanishing Half by Brit Bennett was a true page-turner, and I did not want to stop reading it even when I got to the last page. I am not a fan of sequels, but if I was ever going to change my mind, this is the book I would want to read a sequel.

Ms. Bennett focuses on two twins who run away from home at age 16. They have grown up in Mallard, a fictional town in Louisiana. “In Mallard, nobody married dark,” Bennett writes starkly. Over time, its prejudices deepened as its population became lighter and lighter, “like a cup of coffee steadily diluted with cream.” The twins, with their “creamy skin, hazel eyes, wavy hair,” would have delighted the town’s founder. One of the women chooses to pass as white while the other does not.

The Vignes twin sisters will always be identical. But after growing up together in a small, southern black community and running away at age sixteen, it’s not just the shape of their daily lives that is different as adults, it’s everything: their families, their communities, their racial identities. Many years later, one sister lives with her black daughter in the same southern town she once tried to escape. The other passes for white, and her white husband knows nothing of her past. Still, even separated by so many miles and just as many lies, the fates of the twins remain intertwined. What will happen to the next generation, when their own daughters’ storylines intersect?

Weaving together multiple strands and generations of this family, from the Deep South to California, from the 1950s to the 1990s, Brit Bennett produces a story that is at once a riveting, emotional family story and a brilliant exploration of the American history of passing. Looking well beyond issues of race, The Vanishing Half considers the lasting influence of the past as it shapes a person’s decisions, desires, and expectations, and explores some of the multiple reasons and realms in which people sometimes feel pulled to live as something other than their origins.

The question of why people choose to live differently than their origins is one that I often ponder. Growing up in a small town and living in a metropolis raises questions for me as to what my life is now and what was once.

I strongly recommend this book.

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Move Like Water: My Story of the Sea

Read: October 2023

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Move Like Water: My Story of the Sea

by Hannah Stowe

I recently started reading a book called “Move Like Water: My Story of the Sea” by Hannah Stowe. It’s a captivating book that immerses you in a world of water, whales, storms, and starlight, allowing you to experience what it’s like to sail for weeks and live life to a new rhythm.

Hannah Stowe, a marine biologist and sailor in her mid-twenties, grew up on the Pembrokeshire coast of Wales, where she fell asleep to the sound of the lighthouse beam. Drawing upon her experiences sailing tens of thousands of miles in various seas, including the North Sea, North Atlantic, Mediterranean, Celtic Sea, and the Caribbean, she explores the human connection to the wild waters. Stowe ponders why she and others are drawn to life at sea and what we can learn from the water around us.

Stowe intertwines her narrative and illustrations with stories of six keystone marine creatures: the fire crow, sperm whale, wandering albatross, humpback whale, shearwater, and barnacle. Through these stories, she invites readers to fall in love with the sea and its inhabitants and to discover the majesty, wonder, and fragility of the underwater world.

If you enjoy the works of Rachel Carson and Annie Dillard, then “Move Like Water: My Story of the Sea” is a must-read. It’s an inspiring and heartfelt tribute to the sea, a testimony to pursuing and achieving a dream, and an unforgettable introduction to a talented new nature writer.


The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

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Us Fools

Read: November 2024

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Us Fools: A Novel

by Nora Lange

Today, I embarked on the journey of Us Fools by Nora Lange. This poignant and personal American narrative is about two remarkable sisters who, against all odds, come of age during the Midwestern farm crisis of the 1980s. In her debut novel, Nora Lange has crafted a lively, ambitious, and heart-wrenching portrait of two unique sisters determined to persevere despite the harsh realities of capitalism and their circumstances. After a pivotal national election, this seemed like the perfect book to read.

Joanne and Bernadette Fareown, born and raised on a family farm in rural Illinois, are deeply impacted by their parents’ tumultuous relationship and mounting financial debt, haunted by the unsettling history of the women in their family. Left to fend for themselves, the sisters delve into Greek mythology, feminism, and Virginia Woolf. As they grapple with these trying circumstances, they must devise unique coping mechanisms and question the validity of the American Dream. At the same time, the rest of the nation disregards their struggling community.

Jo and Bernie’s imaginative efforts to escape their parents’ harsh realities ultimately fall short, prompting the family to relocate to Chicago. There, Joanne—free-spirited, reckless, and struggling to manage her inner turmoil—rebels in increasingly desperate ways. After undergoing her most significant breakdown yet, Jo goes into exile in Deadhorse, Alaska. Bernadette takes it upon herself to apply everything she has learned from her sister to rekindle a sense of hope in a failing world.

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When I'm Gone, Look for Me in the East

Read: January 2023

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When I’m Gone, Look for Me in the East

by Quan Barry

When I’m Gone, Look for Me in the East by Quan Barry is a luminous novel that moves across a windswept Mongolia as a pair of estranged twin brothers make a journey of duty, conflict, and renewed understanding. Since Jan died, I have been sharing her love and not looking for her, so this novel attracted me as it was a counter-narrative. Are our lives our own, or do we belong to something more significant?

When I’m Gone, Look for Me in the East is a stunningly far-flung examination of our struggle to retain our convictions and discover meaning in a fast-changing world, as well as a meditation on accepting what is.

Although I know only a limited amount about Buddhism and even less about Mongolia, I found When I’m Gone, Look for Me in the East a fascinating page-turner of a novel.

Coincidently, while en route to see Memorial, we stopped to eat at a Mexican-Peruvian restaurant on Tenth Avenue in NYC. On the television was a continuous loop of a travelogue on Mongolia.

I found several quotes that I have used in other posts already.

  • “Sometimes faith is the only medicine available.”
  • “When the only hope is a boat and there is no boat, I will be the boat.”

I plan to use others in future posts.

Love never dies, and this quote echoed my belief.

“Love is neither created nor destroyed. It exists at all times and in all dimensions. Love is not something we create—it is something that wells up in us, like sap in a tree. It is an element in the fabric of the universe. Even on that distant day when sentient beings no longer exist, Love carries on. Perhaps our personal relationship to Love is impermanent, but Love itself is not.”

I highly recommend When I’m Gone, Look for Me in the East.

The Goodreads summary provides an overview,

Tasked with finding the reincarnation of a great lama somewhere in the vast Mongolian landscape, the young monk Chuluun seeks the help of his identical twin, Mun, who was recognized as a reincarnation himself as a child but has since renounced their once shared monastic life.

Harking back to her vivid and magical first novel set in Vietnam, Quan Barry carries us across a landscape as unforgiving as it is beautiful and culturally varied, from the stark Gobi Desert to the ancient capital of Chinggis Khan. As their country stretches before them, questions of the immortal soul, along with more earthly matters of love, sex, and brotherhood, haunt the twins, who can hear each other’s thoughts.


The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

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I receive a commission when you buy a book or product using a link on this page. Thank you for supporting Sharing Jan’s Love blog.



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