Positive Yes, Happy Maybe

Positive Yes, Happy Maybe

Estimated reading time: 1 minute, 16 seconds

Jan in Lake EirePositivity has been a hallmark of how I have lived, loved, and worked.

When I first met Jan, her description, which her friends echoed, was that I was very relaxed and happy.

They could not comprehend why I was so laid back.

My belief was I did not have the time to be angry or sad but needed to be positive.

In my never-ending grief journey, being positive is still my go-to attitude. Being happy again is, on most days, an unobtainable desire.

The following quote summarizes the problem of my life.

It’s time to just be happy. Being angry, sad, and overthinking isn’t worth it anymore. Just let things flow. Be positive.

My life without Jan has tested my positive outlook more profoundly than any other crisis.

Every day after waking up, I look in the mirror and remind myself to be positive.

Will I ever wake up and not need to remind myself to be positive? Will I be happy again?

The only truth I know is that Jan is still with me and that the love Jan and I shared will never die!


The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

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Stories are the Best Memories!

I have kept a daily journal of my grief journey for over a year. In the beginning, I wrote daily in a Word document. I believed that some of what I had to say was private, and I would share only portions on the website. Either my determination of what is private has changed, or […]

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Positive Yes, Happy Maybe
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The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao

Read: August 2024

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The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao

by Junot Diaz

Today, I started reading Junot Diaz‘s The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao, one of The New York Times’ 100 Best Books of the Century. The book also won a Pulitzer Prize. Oscar is a sweet but disastrously overweight ghetto nerd who—from the New Jersey home he shares with his old-world mother and rebellious sister—dreams of becoming the Dominican J.R.R. Tolkien and, most of all, finding love.

But Oscar may never get what he wants. Blame the fukú—a curse that has haunted Oscar’s family for generations, following them on their epic journey from Santo Domingo to the USA. Encapsulating Dominican-American history, The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao opens our eyes to an astonishing vision of the contemporary American experience. It explores the endless human capacity to persevere—and risk it all—in the name of love.

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Three Summers

Read: February 2025

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Three Summers: A Novel

by Margarita Liberaki

Today, I began reading Margarita Liberaki‘s Three Summers, translated by Karen Van Dyck. This edition features a detailed introduction by Ms. Van Dyck, in which she shares her experiences meeting Ms. Liberaki and collaborating with her on the translation. The original novel, written in Greek, was titled The Straw Hats, but Ms. Van Dyck felt that this title would not resonate with foreign readers similarly.

Three Summers is the story of three sisters who grew up in the countryside near Athens before the outbreak of the Second World War. The sisters live in a large, old house surrounded by a beautiful garden. The oldest sister, Maria, is adventurous and eager to settle down and start her own family. The middle sister, Infanta, is gorgeous but emotionally distant. Katerina, the narrator, and the youngest sister is dreamy and rebellious.

Throughout three summers, the sisters share and keep secrets, fall in and out of love, and try to understand their parents and other adult figures. They also observe the peculiar behaviors of friends and neighbors while worrying about and discovering their identities. Karen Van Dyck’s translation beautifully captures the light and warmth of this modern Greek classic.

Margarita Liberaki (1919-2001) was born in Athens and raised by her grandparents, who owned the Fexis bookstore and publishing house. In addition to her novel Three Summers, she authored The Other Alexander (1950) and The Mystery (1976). She also wrote several plays, including Candaules’ Wife (1955) and The Danaïds (1956), part of a cycle she called Mythical Theater. Furthermore, she contributed screenplays, such as Jules Dassin’s Phaedra (1962) and Diaspora (1999), which focused on Greek intellectuals in exile in Paris during the junta. Her novel Three Summers is now a standard part of public education in Greece and Cyprus and was adapted into a television miniseries in 1995.

Karen Van Dyck is the Kimon A. Doukas Professor of Modern Greek Literature at Columbia University. Her research focuses on modern Greek literature, diaspora literature, gender studies, and translation. She has edited or co-edited several poetry anthologies, including A Century of Greek Poetry (2004), The Greek Poets: Homer to the Present (2010), and Austerity Measures: The New Greek Poetry (2017) for NYRB Poets. Additionally, her translations have appeared in Brooklyn Rail, Asymptote, and The Baffler.



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A Feather in the Water

Read: July 2022

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A Feather on the Water

by Lindsay Jayne Ashford

A Feather on the Water by Lindsay Jayne Ashford is an excellent historical fiction of the post-was era for displaced people. I highly recommend it. The tagline reads, “for three women in postwar Germany, 1945 is a time of hope—lost and found.” I have always enjoyed historical fiction, and A Feather on the Water seemed like a perfect choice.

The opening paragraphs confirmed my decision, as Martha, one of the three women, escapes from her abusive husband in Williamsburg, Brooklyn. Martha and the two other characters, Delphine and Kitty, come to life with Ms. Ashford’s gifted pen.

Like a feather in the water, our lives continue despite the trials and tribulations we must confront.

The Goodreads summary provides an overview.

Just weeks after World War II ends, three women from different corners of the world arrive in Germany to run a displaced-persons camp. They long to help rebuild shattered lives—including their own.

For Martha, going to Germany provides an opportunity to escape Brooklyn and a violent marriage. Arriving from England is orphaned Kitty. She hopes working at the camp will bring her closer to her parents, last seen before the war began. For Delphine, Paris has been a city of ghosts after her husband and son died in Dachau. Working at the camp is her chance to find meaning again by helping other victims of Hitler’s regime.

Charged with the care of more than two thousand camp residents, Martha, Delphine, and Kitty draw on each other’s strength to endure and to give hope when all seems lost. Among these strangers and survivors, they might find the love and closure they need to heal their hearts and leave their troubled pasts behind.


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Do You Remember Being Born?: A Novel

Read: September 2023

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Do You Remember Being Born?

by Sean Michaels

I started reading “Do You Remember Being Born?” by Sean Michaels, a writer who won the Scotiabank Giller Prize. The novel is about an aging poet named Marian Ffarmer, a legend in the world of poetry. However, despite her success, she struggles with financial issues and her son’s inability to buy a house. Marian has sacrificed her personal relationships and happiness to pursue her career but questions whether it is worth it.

One day, she receives an invitation from a Tech Company to travel to California and work with their poetry AI, Charlotte. The company wants her to co-author a poem with their bot in a historic partnership, which clashes with Marian’s beliefs about the individual pursuit of art. However, she decides to take this opportunity, even though it makes her feel like a sell-out and a skeptic. The encounter in California changes her life, work, and understanding of kinship.

The book explores the nature of language, art, labor, capital, family, and community. It’s a response to some of the most disquieting questions of our time. The author, Sean Michaels, is a winner of the Scotiabank Giller Prize, and his book is a love letter to and interrogation of the creative legacy. It’s a joyful recognition that belonging to one’s art must mean belonging to the world to survive meaningfully.


The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

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I receive a commission when you buy a book or product using a link on this page. Thank you for supporting Sharing Jan’s Love blog.



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The Bee Sting: A Novel

Read: December 2023

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The Bee Sting: A Novel

by Paul Murray

I began reading “The Bee Sting: A Novel” by Paul Murray today, the seventy-fifth book I have read this year, one more than last year. This exuberantly entertaining novel is a tour de force that portrays post-crash Ireland, a tragicomic family saga, and a dazzling story about the struggle to be good at the end of the world.

The Barnes family is in trouble, with Dickie’s once-lucrative car business going under. However, Dickie is spending his days in the woods, building an apocalypse-proof bunker with a renegade handyperson. His wife, Imelda, sells off her jewelry on eBay while trying to avoid the attention of fast-talking cattle farmer Big Mike. Meanwhile, their teenage daughter, Cass, formerly top of her class, seems determined to binge drink through her final exams. As for twelve-year-old PJ, he’s on the brink of running away.

If you were to change this story, how far back would you have to go? To the infamous bee sting that ruined Imelda’s wedding day? To the car crash one year before Cass was born? Or back to Dickie at ten years old, standing in the summer garden with his father, learning how to be a real man?


The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

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I receive a commission when you buy a book or product using a link on this page. Thank you for supporting Sharing Jan’s Love blog.



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The Day Tripper: A Novel

Read: April 2024

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The Day Tripper: A Novel

by James Goodhand

Today, I began reading “The Day Tripper: A Novel” by James Goodhand. The story centers around Alex Dean, who can travel through time but, unfortunately, always ends up in the wrong place at the wrong time. This book is a perfect read for a rainy April day. The story moves quickly in just the first few pages, with time flying by faster than it does for Alex.

It’s 1995, and Alex Dean has it all: a spot at Cambridge University next year, the love of a fantastic woman named Holly, and all the time ahead of him. That is, until a brutal encounter with a ghost from his past sees him beaten, battered, and almost drowning in the Thames.

The next day, he wakes to find himself in a messy, derelict room he’s never seen before, in grimy clothes Alex doesn’t recognize, with no idea how he got there. A glimpse in the mirror tells him he’s much older and has been living a hard life, his features ravaged by time and poor decisions. He snatches a newspaper and finds it’s 2010—fifteen years since the fight.

After finally drifting off to sleep, Alex wakes the following morning to find it’s now 2019, another nine years later. But the next day, it’s 1999. Never knowing which day is coming, he begins to piece together what happens in his life after that fateful night by the river.

But what exactly is going on? Why does his life look nothing like he thought it would? What about Cambridge and Holly? In this page-turning adventure, Alex must navigate the years to learn that small actions have an untold impact. And that might be all he needs to save the people he loves and, equally importantly, himself.

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