Jewish Disability Awareness, Acceptance, and Inclusion Month

Let Go and Let Live!

Don't Hide It, Flaunt It

Estimated reading time: 1 minute, 44 seconds

“Music makes me proud as I share it and bring joy to others,” the student cantor said in answer to the proud portion of the Peacock exercise.

“I am proud of my daughter-in-law,” answered the presenter’s mother, a Temple Sha’arey Shalom member.

Taking the exercise seriously, I responded, “Faith, love, and commitment to repairing the world.”

“Are you a Beatles fan? It sounds like all you need is love,” was the response.

“Maybe I should have said Imagine?”


The Peacock exercise was a part of Meg Zucker’s presentation for Jewish Disability Awareness, Acceptance, and Inclusion Month at Congregation Beth Israel in Scotch Plains.

Meg is an attorney and president of Don’t Hide It, Flaunt It, a non-profit.

Her presentation was powerful and inspiring.

Meg made several key points.

  • We thwart kindness by complaining about those who offer help if we do not need or want it.
  • What you think of me is none of your business. We must achieve unconditional self-love and focus on becoming the best person we can be.
  • We need to find people who are not like us but feel like us because of their version of what makes them who they are.

I might be a widow, Meg may have been born with the ectrodactyly, but we are all the same in the dark.

I left the event more assertive and committed to helping to build an inclusive world.

I have added her book Born Extraordinary: Empowering Children with Differences and Disabilities to my to-read list. It will be released on March 7, 2023.


The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

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We Are All the Same in the Dark

We Are All the Same in the Dark

We Are All the Same in the Dark by Julia Heaberlin is a novel I highly recommend and wish I had read earlier. The title summarizes the reality of all humans, that in the dark we are all the same. Disabilities do not define us, just as being a widow does not define who I am. In this twisty psychological thriller, Julia Heaberlin paints two unforgettable portraits of a woman and a girl who redefine perceptions of physical beauty and strength. Her novel has helped me redefine my grief.

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We Are All the Same in the Dark

Read: January 2023

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We Are All the Same in the Dark

by Julia Heaberlin

We Are All the Same in the Dark by Julia Heaberlin is a novel I highly recommend and wish I had read earlier. The title summarizes the reality of all humans, that in the dark we are all the same. Disabilities do not define us, just as being a widow does not define who I am. In this twisty psychological thriller, Julia Heaberlin paints two unforgettable portraits of a woman and a girl who redefine perceptions of physical beauty and strength. Her novel has helped me redefine my grief.

I have been a widow for almost twenty-one months. After a trauma of that magnitude, it is easier to let the widowed state define me. But I am more than just a widow! But I am a father, grandfather, friend, neighbor, advocate, and more. Reading We Are All the Same in the Dark helped me embrace myself and not wallow in widowhood.

The novel begins with the discovery of a girl abandoned by the side of the road who threatens to unearth the long-buried secrets of a Texas town’s legendary cold case. In the first section, I was still determining if I wanted to continue. Once I read about Odette Tucker and Angel, it became a page-turner. 

This line from Odette given to Angelica, aka Angel, summarizes the characteristics that each of us should live by.

Tender. Resilient. Strong. Resourceful. Kind. Empathetic.—Six words Marshall Tucker wrote on a piece of paper to describe his daughter, Odette.

As a mensch-in-training, I will strive to live by those six words.

We are truly all the same in the dark.

We Are All the Same in the Dark is the ninth book I read this year.

The Goodreads summary provides an overview,

It’s been a decade since Trumanell Branson disappeared, leaving only a bloody handprint behind. Her pretty face still hangs like a watchful queen on the posters on the walls of the town’s Baptist church, the police station, and the high school. They all promise the same thing: We will find you. Meanwhile, her brother, Wyatt, lives as a pariah in the desolation of the old family house, cleared of wrongdoing by the police but tried and sentenced in the court of public opinion and a new documentary about the crime.

When Wyatt finds a lost girl dumped in a field of dandelions, making silent wishes, he believes she is a sign. The town’s youngest cop, Odette Tucker, believes she is a catalyst that will ignite a seething town still waiting for its missing girl to come home. But Odette can’t look away. She shares a wound that won’t close with the mute, one-eyed mystery girl. And she is haunted by her history with the missing Tru.

Desperate to solve both cases, Odette fights to save the lost girl in the present and to dig up the shocking truth about a fateful night in the past–the night her friend disappeared. This night inspired her to become a cop, the night that wrote them all a role in the town’s dark, violent mythology.


The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

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Jewish Disability Awareness, Acceptance, and Inclusion Month
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The Secrets we Left Behind

Read: March 2022

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The Secrets We Left Behind

The Secrets We Left Behind by Soraya M. Lane is a historical fiction that raises the question, where were the women after Dunkirk and the fall of France? When World War II appeared to have been lost with a Nazi victory. Ms. Lane watched the movie Dunkirk and then researched that time and the women’s possible roles during that difficult moment in history.

She connected the evacuation at Dunkirk to the Massacre at Le Paradis, fifty miles away, to connect a British nurse and two French women whose strength helps them survive Nazi-occupied France. Three British male soldiers, two of whom survived the massacre and one who escaped Dunkirk, have secondary roles in the novel. 

The Secrets We Left Behind is the story of the three strong women and their efforts to survive the occupation while hiding the three soldiers. This focus on the role of women has been long overdue in history. Ms. Lane, who studied to be a lawyer, has found a career as a writer. The Secrets We Left Behind is the first book I have read, but it will not be the last one by Ms. Lane that I read.

I strongly recommend this book!

The Goodreads synopsis provides an overview of the novel.

How far will they go for family, friendship, and love? Occupied France, 1940. When the staff at a field hospital draw straws to find out who will join the evacuation from Dunkirk, Nurse Cate is left behind. But when the Nazis arrive to claim prisoners of war, she takes her chance and flees into the night, taking one patient with her.

Fifty miles away, the surrendering soldiers of the Royal Norfolk Regiment are shot dead by the advancing Germans. Beneath the pile of bodies, two men survive, crawling to the safety of a nearby farmhouse, where sisters Elise and Adelaide risk their lives to take them in. When Cate, too, arrives at their door with her injured soldier, the pressure mounts.

The sisters are risking everything to keep their visitors safe. But with the Nazis coming ever closer and relationships in the farmhouse intensifying, they must all question the sacrifices they are willing to make for the lives of others. How far will they go for family, friendship, and love?

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Read: September 2025

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Buckeye: A Novel

by Patrick Ryan

Buckeye: A Novel” by Patrick Ryan takes readers on a captivating journey through a single town, where the lives of two families intertwine amidst a life-altering secret. With its sweeping narrative and intimate moments, the story delves deeply into the human experience, offering rich insights and a warmth that resonates with anyone seeking love, goodness, and yearning for connection.

In Bonhomie, Ohio, a stolen moment of passion, sparked in the exuberant aftermath of the Allied victory in Europe, binds Cal Jenkins, a man wounded not in war but by his inability to serve in it, to Margaret Salt, a woman trying to obscure her past. Cal’s wife, Becky, possesses a spiritual gift: she is a seer who can conjure the dead, helping families reconnect with those they’ve lost. Margaret’s husband, Felix, is serving on a Navy cargo ship, out of harm’s way—until a telegram suggests that the unthinkable might have happened.

Later, as the country reconstructs in the postwar boom, a secret grows in Bonhomie—but nothing stays buried forever in a small town. Against the backdrop of some of the most transformative decades in modern America, the consequences of that long-ago encounter ripple through the next generation of both families, compelling them to reexamine who they thought they were and what the future might hold.


Patrick Ryan is the author of the story collections The Dream Life of Astronauts and Send Me. The Dream Life of Astronauts was named one of the Best Books of the Year by the St. Louis Times-Dispatch, Literary Hub, Refinery29, and Electric Literature, and it was also longlisted for The Story Prize.

His work has been featured in The Best American Short Stories and the anthology Tales of Two Cities, among other publications. Ryan is the former associate editor of Granta and currently serves as the editor-in-chief of One Story. He resides in New York City.



Discover your next favorite book and dive into a world of curated, exciting reads by purchasing through my links. You’ll have access to a diverse selection of books that I’ve personally vetted to ensure quality and enjoyment. Additionally, by supporting these selections, you’ll help me continue to provide you with more personalized recommendations. I earn a small commission from your purchase, which allows me to buy and share even more books with you. Your support truly makes a difference!


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The Brighter the Light

Read: June 2022

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The Brighter the Light

by Mary Ellen Taylor

The Brighter the Light by Mary Ellen Taylor was my eighty-ninth book since the beginning of 2019. After reading about Thomas Cromwell, I needed a change of pace. With the start of the Hurricane season, it seemed as good a time as any to read a novel by a fellow Southerner. That the book is also an “evocative dual-timeline novel detailing one woman’s journey to discover the hidden stories of her family’s seaside resort” seemed a perfect match.

I highly recommend this book. As a Southerner, I found the revealing of the hidden secrets accomplished in a style that makes this a page-turner.

The Goodreads summary provides an overview.

When a shipwreck surfaces, old secrets are sure to follow.

Or so goes the lore in Ivy Neale’s hometown of Nags Head, North Carolina. When Ivy inherits her family’s beachfront cottage upon her grandmother’s death, she knows returning to Nags Head means facing the best friend and the boyfriend who betrayed her years ago.

But then a winter gale uncovers the shipwreck of local legend—and Ivy soon begins to stumble across more skeletons in the closet than just her own. Amid the cottage’s clutter are clues from her grandmother’s past at the enchanting seaside resort her family once owned. One fateful summer in 1950, the arrival of a dazzling singer shook the staff and guests alike—and not everyone made it to fall.

As Ivy contends with broken relationships and a burgeoning romance in the present, the past threatens to sweep her away. But as she uncovers the strength of her grandmother and the women who came before her, she realizes she is like the legendary shipwreck: the sands may shift around her, but she has found her home here by the sea.


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Sleep: A Novel

Read: May 2025

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Sleep: A Novel

by Honor Jones

Sleep: A Novel” by Honor Jones captivates readers with its heartfelt narrative and deep insights into the human experience. This debut novel offers a genuine insight into the complex dynamics of motherhood and childhood, weaving together themes of love, secrets, and the vast array of possibilities that life can hold beyond silence.

Every parent exists in two families simultaneously: the one they were born into and the one they have created.

Ten-year-old Margaret, much like many of us, hides beneath a blackberry bush in her family’s lush backyard while her brother searches for her in a game of flashlight tag. Her childhood is filled with sunlit swimming pools, Saturday morning pancakes, and a devoted best friend. However, her family life requires careful navigation. Her mother can be as brittle and demanding as she is loving, while her father and brother embody familiar, if uncomfortable, models of masculinity. Then, late one summer, everything changes. After a series of confusing events, the simple joys of girlhood begin to fade away.

Twenty-five years later, Margaret hides under her parents’ bed, waiting for her young daughters to find her in a game of hide and seek. Newly divorced, she is learning to navigate her life as a co-parent while also discovering the pleasures of a new relationship. Yet part of her remains under the blackberry bush, frozen in time. As she strives to be a mother to her daughters and a daughter to her mother, she must confront the echoes and reflections of her past in light of her present. She grapples with what it means to keep a child safe and how much of our lives we experience in solitude.

Jones presents these emotional cycles with generosity and unflinching honesty, making the novel a compelling read that resonates on multiple levels.


Honor Jones, a senior editor at The Atlantic and formerly at The New York Times, brings her wealth of experience and insight to this novel. She lives in Brooklyn with her three children, a life experience that undoubtedly enriches her storytelling.



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Don’t miss out on this exciting opportunity! Enjoy a limited-time offer of 20% off your next book purchase at Bookshop.org! It’s the perfect chance to add this compelling novel to your collection.


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The White Hot

Read: November 2025

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The White Hot: A Novel

by Quiara Alegría Hudes

The White Hot” by Quiara Alegría Hudes is a letter from a mother to her daughter, reflecting on a moment of abandonment that stretches from ten days to ten years. It offers an explanation rather than an apology. Hudes tells April’s story—spiritual and sensual, fierce and humorous—using delicate lyricism and tough love. Through this narrative, Hudes transforms April’s struggle for self-discovery into an unforgettable short epic.

April is a young mother raising her daughter in a multigenerational home filled with unspoken secrets and loud arguments. Her only refuge is the locked bathroom, where she plugs her ears into an ambient soundscape and repeats a mantra: “dead inside.” This continues until one day, as she feels herself spiraling toward the volcanic rage she calls “the white hot,” an inner voice tells her to simply walk away.

She goes to a bus station and asks for a one-way ticket to the furthest destination. This ticket takes her from her Philadelphia home to the threshold of a wilderness, marking the start of a nameless quest—an accidental journey that awakens her, nearly kills her, and leads her to an impossible choice.

As April discovers the key to freeing herself and her family from a cycle of generational trauma through her painful and absurd journey,


Quiara Alegría Hudes is a Pulitzer Prize-winning playwright known for her plays “Water by the Spoonful” and “In the Heights,” the latter of which won the Tony Award for Best Musical. She also adapted this musical for the screen.

Her memoir, “My Broken Language,” was longlisted for the Andrew Carnegie Medal. Hudes has written essays published in prominent outlets, including The New York Times, The Washington Post, The Cut, The Nation, and American Theater Magazine. Additionally, she co-founded the prison writing program Emancipated Stories with her cousin Sean.



Discover your next favorite book and dive into a world of curated, exciting reads by purchasing through my links. You’ll have access to a diverse selection of books that I’ve personally vetted to ensure quality and enjoyment. Additionally, by supporting these selections, you’ll help me continue to provide you with more personalized recommendations. I earn a small commission from your purchase, which allows me to buy and share even more books with you. Your support truly makes a difference!


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The Breakaway: A Novel

Read: November 2023

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The Breakaway: A Novel

by Jennifer Weiner

Today, I started reading The Breakaway: A Novel by Jennifer Weiner, an inspiring new book about love, family, friendship, secrets, and a life-changing journey. The story revolves around 33-year-old Abby Stern, who is content with her life despite not having a steady career and living in a college-like apartment.

She cherishes her good friends, her bike, and the bicycling club in Philadelphia. Abby is comfortable with her plus-size body most of the time and is engaged to Mark Medoff, her childhood sweetheart, whom she met at a weight-loss camp that her mother dragged her to.

However, Abby can’t shake off the feeling that something is amiss, and she can’t forget the breathtaking night she spent with Sebastian two years ago. When Abby gets an unexpected invitation to lead a cycling trip from NYC to Niagara Falls, she gladly accepts, hoping to get away from Mark and reflect on her life. But things get complicated when she spots Sebastian in the group, and her mother, Eileen, whom Abby blames for her body insecurities, joins the trip at the last minute.

The strangers on the journey soon become friends, hidden truths come to light, and a teenage girl with a secret brings the riders together in ways they never imagined. As they travel over 700 miles, Abby must re-evaluate everything she thought she knew about herself, her mother, and the nature of love.


The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

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I receive a commission when you buy a book or product using a link on this page. Thank you for supporting Sharing Jan’s Love blog.



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