Embracing My Brokenness

Embracing My Brokenness

Estimated reading time: 1 minute, 27 seconds

Jan and Richard Lovers ForeverLike all of us, I embrace a million shards of my brokenness.

My brokenness existed before Jan died, but now the shards have multiplied, and the fragments are dangerous.

None of us are perfect; until we embrace our brokenness, we have no hope of repairing our broken lives.

Frustrated over my lack of progress in repairing my brokenness, I opened Evergreen by Kirsten Robinson.

I read her poem on embracing damage in my chilly, barren home.

The Japanese have a method
of repairing broken things
they take fragments
shards pieces bits
and affix them back
together
with gold

The cracks
gilded in their splendor
make the whole
more beautiful
than it was before

This is the art
of embracing damage
this is recognizing beauty
in broken things

When Jan and I married, the Rabbi said,

Now Janice and Richard will break the glass wine bottle. Even as the glass shatters, so may their marriage never break! It is a clear message of the brokenness of their prior lives, and they will spend their lives putting the shards of glass back together as they build a life together.

We worked to build a life worth living every day we were married.

May I, now aa a widow, be blessed to be able to embrace my brokenness and seek to repair the damage?


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Broken but Resilient

We are all broken. The challenge is not to repair the shards of our lives but to accept our frailness and rise and overcome our weaknesses.

Before Jan died, I never doubted that I would be able to overcome my failures and pick myself up.

But in the early weeks as a widow, my life was shattered into a million pieces.

The suggestion that I might one day rise and heal was ludicrous.

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Embracing My Brokenness
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A Love Story from the End of the World

Read: January 2026

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A Love Story from the End of the World

by Juhea Kim

Juhea Kim, the acclaimed author of Beasts of a Little Land and City of Night Birds, presents an exquisite collection of stories that explores the delicate balance between humans and the natural world. With the clear-eyed reverence of Richard Powers and the sparkling sincerity of George Saunders, her first story collection, A Love Story from the End of the World, offers a breathtaking view of our fractured world—and our broken hearts. Through its passionate narrative, the collection serves as a poignant reminder that, as humans, we are nothing without nature.

Spanning multiple locales and time periods, and rendered in fine detail and vivid color, this transportive collection illustrates what it means to live as human inhabitants of our singular, miraculous planet.

Lyrical, at times hilarious, and always heartfelt, each of these ten stories reflects individual choices in the face of “man-made” apocalypses. In a near-future Seoul, where air pollution has become so severe that a translucent biodome has covered the city, a civil engineer responsible for its upkeep considers an arranged marriage. A painter, disenchanted with New York City, travels to the South of France and becomes romantically involved with an entrepreneur who claims to have invented a new color. Meanwhile, on an island where the Indian and Pacific Oceans converge, and where foreign countries have dumped their waste, causing a landfill mountain to form, a local boy facing daily hardships gains internet fame for his K-pop-inspired dances.


Juhea Kim is the author of the novel Beasts of a Little Land, which was a finalist for the Dayton Literary Peace Prize and the winner of the Yasnaya Polyana Literary Award, Russia’s most significant annual award in literature. It has been translated into many languages and is for television. She is also the author of City of Night Birds, which was a Reese’s Book Club pick.

A graduate of Princeton University, her writing has been published in Granta, the Times Literary Supplement, the Independent, Zyzzyva, Guernica<, and other outlets. She is an advocate for wildlife conservation, animal rights, and education and aid in Africa. Born in Korea and raised in Portland, Oregon, Kim now lives in London.



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Surfacing

Read: July 2021

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Surfacing

by Margaret Atwood

Surfacing by Margaret Atwood was a book I picked up on a random walk around the house. I had read The Handmaid’s Tale but was not ready to read The Testaments.

This book is a detective novel as well as a psychological thriller. A talented woman artist goes in search of her missing father on a remote island in northern Quebec. She had grown up on the island, and the journey includes her lover and another young married couple. When they arrive, the isolation and obsession of the artist shape all of their lives in unexpected ways. The marriage begins to fall apart, violence and death lurk just beneath the surface, and sex becomes a catalyst for conflict and dangerous choices.

Goodreads describes the book as,

Surfacing is a work permeated with an aura of suspense, complex with layered meanings, and written in brilliant, diamond-sharp prose. Here is a rich mine of ideas from an extraordinary writer about contemporary life and nature, families, and marriage, and about women fragmented… and becoming whole.

I also found myself captivated by the many layers of the book the search for her father, and the psychological impact on all four of them.

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She's Up to No Good

Read: July 2022

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She’s Up to No Good

by Sara Goodman Confino

After writing Road Trippin, I needed to read about other homeward-bound journeys that help us find peace and a future after a tragedy. Today I started reading She’s Up to No Good by Sara Goodman Confino. The book is a funny, poignant, and life-affirming novel about family, secrets, and broken hearts. It may be the best read for my days in San Diego.

It was the perfect read for my time at Camp, as it was a life-affirming novel. As much as I know that life continues, She’s Up to No Good reaffirmed my belief.

I highly recommend this book.

The Goodreads summary provides an overview.

Four years into her marriage, Jenna is blindsided when her husband asks for a divorce. With time on her hands and her life in flux, she agrees to accompany her eccentric grandmother, Evelyn, on a road trip to the seaside Massachusetts town where much of their family history was shaped.

When they hit the road, Evelyn spins the tale of the star-crossed teenage romance that captured her heart more than seventy years ago and changed the course of her life. She insists the return to her hometown isn’t about that at all—no matter how much she talks about Tony, her unforgettable and forbidden first love.

Upon arrival, Jenna meets Tony’s attentive great-nephew Joe. The new friendship and fresh ocean air give her the confidence and distance she needs to begin putting the pain of a broken marriage behind her.

As the secrets and truths of Evelyn’s past unfold, Jenna discovers a new side of her grandmother and of herself that she never knew existed—and learns that the possibilities for healing can come at the most unexpected times in a woman’s life.


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Love Forms

Read: August 2025

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Love Forms: A Novel

by Claire Adam

Love Forms, a novel by Claire Adam that is longlisted for the 2025 Booker Prize, is a profoundly moving story about a woman’s journey of self-discovery. This novel stands out with its unique exploration of a mother’s life, emphasizing the enduring bonds of love, family, and home. The protagonist’s search for the daughter she gave up for adoption at sixteen challenges her to reconsider every life decision she has made.

For much of her life, Dawn has felt as if something is missing. Now, at the age of fifty-eight, with a divorce behind her and her two grown-up sons busy with their own lives, she should be trying to settle into a new future for herself. But she keeps returning to the past and to the secret she’s kept all these years. At just sixteen, Dawn found herself pregnant, and—as was common in Trinidad back then—her parents sent her away to have the baby and give her up for adoption.

More than forty years later, Dawn yearns to reconnect with her lost daughter. But tracking down her child is not as easy as she had thought. It’s an emotional journey that leads Dawn to retrace her steps—from Trinidad to Venezuela and then to London—and to question not only that fateful decision she’d made as a teenager but every turn in the road of her life since.


Claire Adam‘s debut novel, Golden Child, was published by Sarah Jessica Parker’s SJP for Hogarth. It was listed as one of the BBC’s “100 Novels That Shaped Our World” and was awarded the Barnes & Noble Discover Prize, the Desmond Elliott Prize, the Authors’ Club Best First Novel Award, and the McKitterick Prize. She was born and raised in Trinidad and Tobago. She studied physics at Brown University and later received an MA in creative writing at Goldsmiths, University of London. Adam lives in London.



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Parable of the Talents

Read: January 2024

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Parable of the Talents

by Octavia E. Butler

This morning, I completed reading Octavia E. Butler‘s acclaimed post-apocalyptic novel Parable of the Sower and immediately started reading its sequel, Parable of the Talents, initially published in 1998. This second book is even more relevant today than it was back then. The novel’s timely message of hope and resistance in the face of fanaticism is shockingly prescient.

In 2032, Lauren Olamina survived the destruction of her home and family. She envisioned a peaceful community in Northern California, which she established based on her newly founded faith, Earthseed. This new settlement provides a haven for outcasts who face persecution following the election of an ultra-conservative president. The new president pledges to “make America great again,” but the country becomes increasingly divided and dangerous. Lauren’s subversive colony, a minority religious faction led by a young black woman, becomes a target for President Jarret’s oppressive regime characterized by terror and discrimination.

In the future, Asha Vere discovers the journals of her mother, Lauren Olamina, whom she never met. As she delves into her mother’s writings, she grapples with the conflict between Lauren’s responsibilities to her chosen family and her mission to guide humanity toward a brighter tomorrow.


The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

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I receive a commission when you buy a book or product using a link on this page. Thank you for supporting Sharing Jan’s Love blog.



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Booth

Read: January 2023

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Booth: A Novel

by Karen Joy Fowler

Booth by Karen Joy Fowler was on my to-read list for several months. Booth is an epic and intimate novel about the family behind one of the most infamous figures in American history: John Wilkes Booth. I have always been fascinated by history, especially the Civil War. Booth is a startling portrait of a country in the throes of change and a vivid exploration of the ties that make and break a family. It is the second book I have read this year.

Ms. Fowler struggled with how to write this novel without focusing on the cruelest member of the Booth family. She succeeded, but I sometimes felt confused about the type of book I was reading. Was it historical fiction or a textbook?

In the afterword, she admits that there is more of the story in the children of the siblings of John Wilkes Booth. I wish I knew more about that generation and how they responded to the notoriety. A family tree would have helped as there are many family members.

I recommend Booth as history is a dynamic lesson we must keep studying.

The Goodreads summary provides an overview,

In 1822, a secret family moved into a secret cabin some thirty miles northeast of Baltimore to farm, hide, and bear ten children over the next sixteen years. Junius Booth–breadwinner, celebrated Shakespearean actor, and master of the house in more ways than one–is at once a mesmerizing talent and a man of terrifying instability. One by one, the children arrive, as year by year, the country draws frighteningly closer to the boiling point of secession and civil war.

As the tenor of the world shifts, the Booths emerge from their hidden lives to cement their place as one of the country’s leading theatrical families. But behind the curtains of the many stages they have graced, multiple scandals, family triumphs, and criminal disasters begin to take their toll, and the solemn siblings of John Wilkes Booth are left to reckon with the truth behind the destructively specious promise of an early prophecy.


The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

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I receive a commission when you buy a book or product using a link on this page. Thank you for supporting Sharing Jan’s Love blog.



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