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Jan Needs Me Now!

Estimated reading time: 14 minutes, 3 seconds
Jan with Comfort Dog

Jan with Comfort Dog

Mourning

Standing before the mirror, I struggled to knot my tie. I had never had a problem, but now, each time I tried, it appeared as if it was wrong and about to unravel. Unknotting the tie, I sighed and started over one my time when I heard Sam’s voice asking if I needed help. “I can’t get my tie correct.” I sighed.

“Let me do it. Jack has the same problem.”

Sam quickly knotted my tie.

“It looks great! If I had to wear a tie daily, I would have you do it.”

Sam smiled.

“You know this is the suit, shirt, and tie I will wear when my time comes.”

“Don’t say that, especially today when we bury Jan, the love of your life.”

I took off my glasses and wiped my eyes which were tearing up.

“Dad, I want to say something while we wait for Jack and Janice.”

I nodded and sat on the loveseat. 

“I know I was unhappy when you volunteered to help Jan, especially when she needed hospice.”

I nodded.

“I was wrong to question your decision. You loved Jan for forty years after she left you. Your love was what she needed, and you gave it despite the pain you suffered. You always told me love never dies. You proved it with your support of Jan. I am so proud of you!”

My lips shook so much I could not speak.

“But Jan never said she loved me.”

“Dad, it does not matter. I know she loved you even if she never said it. I could see it in her eyes. Your love for her was all she needed.”

“We had better leave now if we are going to get to the funeral home in time,” Jack interrupted.

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The Unfolding

Read: October 2022

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The Unfolding: A Novel

by A.M. Homes

The Unfolding by A.M. Homes is a darkly comic political parable braided with a Bildungsroman that takes us inside the heart of a divided country. The Unfolding is an alternative history that is terrifyingly prescient, profoundly tender, and devastatingly funny. Will this novel help me to understand how we became a nation that no longer shares the same definitions of truth, freedom, and democracy, much less a shared vision of the future?

Although I understand more clearly the crisis facing the US, I highly recommend this novel.

Ms. Homes has written a must-read book that compliments the January 6th Committee report and should make us all more vigilant.

The characters are so well defined that at the end of the novel, I wanted to continue to read about them, especially Meghan.

The Goodreads summary provides an overview,

The Big Guy loves his family, money, and country. Undone by the 2008 presidential election results, he taps a group of like-minded men to reclaim their version of the American Dream. As they build a scheme to disturb and disrupt, the Big Guy also faces turbulence within his family. His wife, Charlotte, grieves a life not lived, while his 18-year-old daughter, Meghan, realizes that her favorite subject–history–is not exactly what her father taught her.

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In her first novel since the Women’s Prize award-winning May We Be Forgiven, A.M. Homes delivers us back to ourselves in this stunning alternative history that is both terrifyingly prescient, deeply tender, and devastatingly funny.

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Read: May 2024

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The Spoiled Heart: A Novel

by Sunjeev Sahota

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The Invisible Hour: A Novel

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Today I started reading The Invisible Hour by Alice Hoffman. It’s a story about love, heartbreak, self-discovery, and the magic of books. The Invisible Hour is the story of one woman’s dream. For a little while, it came true. Nathaniel Hawthorne wrote: “A single dream is more powerful than a thousand realities.

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The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

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1944: FDR and the Year That Changed History

Read: October 2019

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1944: FDR and the Year That Changed History

by Jay Winik

1944: FDR and the Year That Changed History by Jay Winik is a book that I had put off reading several times. When I finally did read it, I could not remember why I had not read it sooner. Had I gone to graduate school and become a professor, it might have been the type of book I might write, and I certainly would have had on my list of books for my classes. 

As The NY Times wrote, “Jay Winik brings to life in gripping detail the year 1944, which determined the outcome of World War II and put more pressure than any other on an ailing yet determined President Roosevelt.” Reading a book about events five years before my birth that transformed the world I live in becomes an easy page-turner.

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I recommend this book.

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Read: September 2025

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Seduction Theory

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Read: November 2023

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Eastbound by Maylis De Kerangal

by Maylis De Kerangal

Today, I would like to recommend the book “Eastbound” by Maylis De Kerangal, which has been beautifully translated into English by Jessica Moore. The story revolves around a Russian conscript and a French woman who cross paths on the Trans-Siberian railroad, each trying to escape to the East for different reasons. “Eastbound” is an adventure story that takes you through two vibrant inner worlds.

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The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

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