Richard W. shared a stream on August 4, 2022

Sleeping in a New Direction

Estimated reading time: 0 minutes, 51 seconds

When I moved to Apartment 3B, I knew my bed would be on a lower floor than in 3D.

My bed now faces in another direction. In addition, I am ten feet closer to the ground, which is an imperceptible difference.

In 3D, I was facing 314 degrees northwest when I woke up.
In 3B, I am facing 229 degrees southwest.

The new bedroom is also darker, and that might help me sleep.

I do believe I am sleeping better, but not perfect.

I still dream of waking up fully rested from a good night’s sleep.

That may not be possible since Jan died, but it is a dream worth having.

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Jan Lilien at Philadelphia Flower Show 2019

Am I Alone in Apartment 3B?

As I unpack in apartment 3B, I am alone, but I know Jan is still with me. I am having trouble finding places for all the remembrances of decades of love. Each item I unwrap opens the floodgates of a lifetime of love. It also reminds me of how fortunate I was and how Jan […]

Richard W. Brown August 2, 2022

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My random thoughts on love, grief, life and all things considered.

My Big Climb to Conquer Cancer on April 25, 2026
Please join me in making a difference! No matter the amount, your contribution can have a meaningful impact. As I do every year, I will match every donation made. Thank you! […]
50th Wedding Anniversary
All we ever needed was love—true love! It's the most powerful force in the world—a force that can heal, uplift, and give us our only hope for salvation. […]
The Infamous Walker Limps Home
My Apple Fitness app shows that I’ve averaged four miles daily over an unpredictable month, which might be my new normal. As long as I can walk every day, my streak will continue. Today marked 1,555 days and counting. […]
Living and Grieving
I am believed and seen. I believe in others and recognize their true selves. Though I may reside in my home, I live, grieve, and thrive within my community. […]
The Triad of Love
I focus on being good, rather than feeling good, and living a life my wife would be proud of, rather than letting sorrow overshadow my remaining days. […]

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A Far-flung Life

Read: March 2026

A Far-flung Life

by M.L. Stedman

When we experience something irreversible or unfixable, how do we continue living? How do we find our guiding star in the absence of clear answers? These questions lie at the heart of M. L. Stedman‘s unforgettable new novel, A Far-flung Life. From the acclaimed author of the beloved bestseller The Light Between Oceans, this sweeping epic explores a family, a tragedy, and the repercussions that echo for decades.

Set in remote Western Australia in 1958, the MacBride family has lived for generations on a vast sheep station called Meredith Downs, which spans a million acres of arid landscape. On an ordinary day, as patriarch Phil MacBride drives down a lonely road under the endless blue sky, he swerves to avoid a kangaroo. In that instant, it shatters the lives of the entire MacBride family. Tragedy strikes again when the consequences of this moment claim the life of one sibling and lead another to sacrifice everything for the well-being of an innocent child. Matt, the youngest MacBride, embarks on a moral and emotional journey for which there is neither a map nor a guide. The secrets at the core of this heartbreaking and beautiful story compel him to choose between love and duty, sacrifice and happiness.

A Far-flung Life is a tale of family and belonging, fate and time. It depicts individuals striving to do their best while each, for their own reasons, seeks shelter from life’s storms.

Can a fleeting moment unravel a life, marking it permanently and irrevocably? Can compassion, resilience, and forgiveness help us come to terms with our human imperfections? These are the profound questions Stedman explores in A Far-flung Life, her moving, uplifting, and luminous novel about the endurance of the heart for love’s sake.

M.L. Stedman was born and raised in Western Australia and now lives in London. The Light Between Oceans was her first novel. A Far-flung Life is her second novel.

Discover your next favorite book and dive into a world of curated, exciting reads by purchasing through my links. You’ll have access to a diverse selection of books I’ve personally vetted for quality and enjoyment. Supporting these selections not only helps me continue to provide you with personalized recommendations but also ensures you have access to meaningful stories that enrich your life. Your support truly makes a difference in helping me share more books and insights with you!

The Quiet Tenant

Read: August 2023

The Quiet Tenant

by Clémence Michallon

Today, I commenced reading The Quiet Tenant by Clémence Michallon. It is not my typical genre, as it is a pulse-pounding psychological thriller about a serial killer narrated by those closest to him: his 13-year-old daughter, his girlfriend—and the one victim he has spared.

Aidan Thomas is a hard-working family man and a somewhat beloved figure in the small upstate New York town where he lives. He’s the man who always lends a hand and has a good word for everyone. But Aidan has a dark secret he’s been keeping from everyone in town and those closest to him. He’s a kidnapper and serial killer. Aidan has murdered eight women, and there’s a ninth he has earmarked for death: Rachel, imprisoned in a backyard shed, fearing for her life.

When Aidan’s wife dies, he and his thirteen-year-old daughter Cecilia are forced to move. Aidan has no choice but to bring Rachel along, introducing her to Cecilia as a “family friend“ who needs a place to stay. Aidan is betting on Rachel, after five years of captivity, being too brainwashed and fearful to attempt to escape. But Rachel is a fighter and survivor and recognizes Cecilia might be the lifeline she has waited for all these years. As Rachel tests the boundaries of her new living situation, she begins to form a tenuous connection with Cecilia. And when Emily, a local restaurant owner, develops a crush on the handsome widower, she finds herself drawn into Rachel and Cecilia’s orbit, dangerously close to discovering Aidan’s secret.

Told through the perspectives of Rachel, Cecilia, and Emily, The Quiet Tenant explores the psychological impact of Aidan’s crimes on the women in his life—and the bonds between those women that give them the strength to fight back. A searing thriller and an astute study of trauma, survival, and power dynamics, The Quiet Tenant is an electrifying debut thriller by a significant talent.

The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

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North Sun: Or, the Voyage of the Whaleship Esther

Read: October 2025

North Sun: A Novel

by Ethan Rutherford

“North Sun: Or, the Voyage of the Whaleship Esther” by Ethan Rutherford is a finalist for the fiction category of the 2025 National Book Award. With one foot firmly planted in the traditional sea-voyage narrative, and another in a blazing mythos of its own, this debut novel looks unsparingly at the cost of environmental exploitation and predation, and in doing so feverishly sings not only of the past, but to the present and future as well.

Setting out from New Bedford in 1878, the crew of the Esther is confident the sea will be theirs: in addition to cruising the Pacific for whales, they intend to hunt the teeming northern grounds before the ice closes. But as they sail to their final destination in the Chukchi Sea, where their captain Arnold Lovejoy has an urgent directive of his own to attend to, their encounters with the natural world become more brutal, harrowing, ghostly, and strange.

Ethan Rutherford‘s fiction has appeared in BOMB, Tin House, Electric Literature, Ploughshares, One Story, American Short Fiction, Conjunctions, and The Best American Short Stories. He is the author of two story collections–Farthest South (Deep Vellum, 2020) and The Peripatetic Coffin and Other Stories (Ecco, 2013)–and for these works has been named a finalist for the Los Angeles Times Art Seidenbaum Award for First Fiction, a finalist for the John Leonard Prize and CLMP’s Firecracker Award, received honorable mention for the PEN/Hemingway Award, was a Barnes & Noble Discover Great New Writers selection, and was the winner of a Minnesota Book Award.

Born in Seattle, Washington, he received his MFA in Creative Writing from the University of Minnesota and now teaches Creative Writing at Trinity College. He lives in Hartford, Connecticut, with his wife and two children.

Discover your next favorite book and dive into a world of curated, exciting reads by purchasing through my links. You’ll have access to a diverse selection of books that I’ve personally vetted to ensure quality and enjoyment. Additionally, by supporting these selections, you’ll help me continue to provide you with more personalized recommendations. I earn a small commission from your purchase, which allows me to buy and share even more books with you. Your support truly makes a difference!

A Matter of Death and Life

Read: December 2024

A Matter of Death and Life

by Irvin D. Yalom and Marilyn Yalom

Today, I embarked on an emotional journey with “A Matter of Death and Life” by Irvin D. Yalom and Marilyn Yalom. This poignant narrative follows the renowned psychiatrist and his talented writer wife as they navigate a year filled with profound reflection following her terminal diagnosis. I received this thoughtful gift from my son Mike and his family, which makes it all the more special.

As the year winds down, I’m excited to say that this will be the final book I dive into in 2024 and will also mark the beginning of my reading adventures in 2025! Irwin and Marylin Yalom‘s exploration of love and living without regret is touching and inspiring, reminding me of the journey my wife and I took after her diagnosis of lymphoma in August 2019.

Irvin Yalom, an internationally acclaimed psychiatrist and author, dedicated his career to counseling those suffering from anxiety and grief. However, he had never faced the need to counsel himself until his wife, the esteemed feminist author Marilyn Yalom, was diagnosed with cancer. In “A Matter of Death and Life,” the Yaloms share how they confronted profound new struggles: Marilyn aimed to die a good death, while Irv sought to continue living without her.

Through alternating accounts of their last months together and Irv’s first months alone, they provide a rare window into facing mortality and coping with the loss of a beloved partner. The Yaloms enjoyed a loving family, a home in Palo Alto under a magnificent valley oak, a large circle of friends, avid readers worldwide, and a long, fulfilling marriage. Yet, they faced death, as we all do. With the wisdom acquired over two lifetimes and the familiar warmth of teenage sweethearts who grew up together, they explore universal questions of intimacy, love, and grief.

Informed by their extensive life experiences, “A Matter of Death and Life” is an open-hearted offering to anyone seeking support, solace, and a meaningful life.

When you purchase a book through one of my links, I earn a small commission that helps support my passion for reading. This contribution allows me to buy even more books to share with you, creating an incredible cycle of discovering great reads together! Your support truly makes a difference!

The Director

Read: December 2025

The Director: A Novel

by Daniel Kehlmann

“The Director” by Daniel Kehlmann, translated by Ross Benjamin, is a thought-provoking novel inspired by the life of film director G.W. Pabst. Pabst fled to Hollywood to escape the Nazis but later returned to Germany to produce propaganda films for the German Reich. The novel is a New York Times Top 10 Book of the Year, an NYPL Best Book of the Year, and a notable book by the Washington Post.

An artist’s life, a pact with the devil, and the dangerous illusions of the silver screen.

G.W. Pabst, one of cinema’s greatest directors of the 20th century, was filming in France when the Nazis seized power. To escape the horrors of the new and unrecognizable Germany, he fled to Hollywood. But now, under the blinding California sun, the world-famous director suddenly looks like a nobody. Not even Greta Garbo, the Hollywood actress whom he made famous, can help him.

When he learns that his elderly mother is ill, he finds himself back in his homeland of Austria, now called Ostmark. Pabst, his wife, and his young son are suddenly confronted with the barbaric nature of the regime. So, when Joseph Goebbels—the minister of propaganda in Berlin—sees the potential for using the European film icon for his directorial genius and makes big promises to Pabst and his family, Pabst must consider Goebbels’s thinly veiled order. While Pabst still believes that he will be able to resist these advances, that he will not submit to any dictatorship other than art, he has already taken the first steps into a hopeless entanglement.

Kehlmann’s latest oeuvre explores the complicated relationships and distinctions between art and power, beauty and barbarism, cog and conspirator.

Daniel Kehlmann was born in Munich in 1975. His novels and plays have won numerous prizes, including the Candide Prize, the Doderer Prize, the Kleist Prize, the Welt Literature Prize, and the Thomas Mann Prize. His novel Tyll, shortlisted for the 2020 International Booker Prize, and Measuring the World have been translated into more than forty languages and are among the biggest successes in post-war German literature. He currently lives in Berlin and New York.

Ross Benjamin is the translator of numerous works of German-language literature, including Franz Kafka’s Diaries, Clemens J. Setz’s Indigo, Joseph Roth’s Job, Kevin Vennemann’s Close to Jedenew, Friedrich Hölderlin’s Hyperion, and Daniel Kehlmann’s Tyll and You Should Have Left. The recipient of a 2015 Guggenheim Fellowship, Benjamin was also awarded the 2010 Helen and Kurt Wolff Translator’s Prize for his rendering of Michael Maar’s Speak, Nabokov. His translation of Tyll was shortlisted for the 2020 International Booker Prize.

Discover your next favorite book and dive into a world of curated, exciting reads by purchasing through my links. You’ll have access to a diverse selection of books that I’ve personally vetted to ensure quality and enjoyment. Additionally, by supporting these selections, you’ll help me continue to provide you with more personalized recommendations. I earn a small commission from your purchase, which allows me to buy and share even more books with you. Your support truly makes a difference!