Richard W. Brown June 10, 2022
Jan Lived a Good Life!

Jan Lived a Good Life!

Estimated reading time: 0 minutes, 43 seconds

Jan and MikeWe are mere mortals and cannot and should not believe we can or should be able to live forever.

Atul Gawande wrote in Being Mortal “that the ultimate goal is not a good death but a good life – all the way to the very end.”

Jan lived a good life, and we loved each other deeply and passionately.

Our love will never die! Sharing Jan’s love and passion for life keeps her name and memory alive.

She is still with me because of this solid emotional connection, even if I cannot touch, kiss, hold, or talk with her.

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Richard W. Brown
Jan Lived a Good Life!

Remembering Jan, the Love of My Life

Estimated reading time: 0 minutes, 43 seconds

Our son Mike developed this video for the shiva last night, and in this version, he added music and her voice.

This video captures her life and her dreams. When I watch the video, tears roll down my cheeks, but I also find joy because the love of my life is still with me.

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Dogs and Monsters: Stories

Read: October 2024

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Dogs and Monsters: Stories

by Mark Haddon

Today, I started reading Dogs and Monsters: Stories by Mark Haddon. The collection features eight captivating and imaginative stories that blend Greek myths with contemporary dystopian narratives. The stories explore themes of mortality, moral choices, and various forms of love, including romantic, familial, and self-love. Haddon’s clear-eyed vision is infused with deep empathy.

In addition, Haddon’s fluid prose showcases his remarkable powers of observation, both of the physical world and the inner workings of the human psyche. Greek myths have fascinated people for millennia with their timeless appeal and enduring lessons about fate, hubris, and life’s uncertainties. In Dogs and Monsters: Stories, Mark Haddon delves into the heart of these ancient fables and presents them in a fresh light. For instance, in one story, the dawn goddess Eos requests that Zeus grant her lover Tithonus eternal life but forgets to ask for eternal youth. In “The Quiet Limit of the World,” Haddon imagines Tithonus’s life as he ages over thousands of years, transforming this cautionary tale about tempting the gods into a spellbinding meditation on observing death from the outside. This tale ultimately explores how carnal love evolves into something more profound and poignant over time.

In “The Mother‘s Story,” Haddon reinterprets the myth of the Minotaur, born of the monstrous lust of King Minos’s wife, Pasiphaë. He turns it into a heartbreaking parable of a mother’s love for a damaged child and the more tangible monstrosities of patriarchy. In “D.O.G.Z.,” the story of Actaeon, who was transformed into a stag after glimpsing the naked goddess Diana and was subsequently torn apart by his hunting dogs, becomes a visceral metaphor for the continuum of human and animal behavior.

Other stories in Dogs and Monsters: Stories play with contemporary mythic tropes—such as genetic engineering, attempts to escape the future, and the cruelty of adolescent ostracism. These stories showcase how modern humans are subject to the same capriciousness that concerned the Greeks but in a fresh and intriguing light. Haddon‘s tales cover a wide range of themes, from the mythic to the domestic, from ancient Greece to the present day, and explore love alongside stories of cruelty. They take readers from battlefields to bed and breakfasts and from dogs in space to doors between worlds, all bound together by profound sympathy and an insight into how human beings think, feel, and act when pushed to their limits.

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Surfacing

Read: July 2021

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Surfacing

by Margaret Atwood

Surfacing by Margaret Atwood was a book I picked up on a random walk around the house. I had read The Handmaid’s Tale but was not ready to read The Testaments.

This book is a detective novel as well as a psychological thriller. A talented woman artist goes in search of her missing father on a remote island in northern Quebec. She had grown up on the island, and the journey includes her lover and another young married couple. When they arrive, the isolation and obsession of the artist shape all of their lives in unexpected ways. The marriage begins to fall apart, violence and death lurk just beneath the surface, and sex becomes a catalyst for conflict and dangerous choices.

Goodreads describes the book as,

Surfacing is a work permeated with an aura of suspense, complex with layered meanings, and written in brilliant, diamond-sharp prose. Here is a rich mine of ideas from an extraordinary writer about contemporary life and nature, families, and marriage, and about women fragmented… and becoming whole.

I also found myself captivated by the many layers of the book the search for her father, and the psychological impact on all four of them.

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The Fraud: A Novel

Read: December 2023

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The Fraud: A Novel

by Zadie Smith

I started reading The Fraud: A Novel by Zadie Smith today. The book is a kaleidoscopic work of historical fiction that revolves around a legal trial that divided Victorian England. The story is set in 1873, where Mrs. Eliza Touchet, a Scottish housekeeper and cousin by marriage of a once-famous novelist, William Ainsworth, lives with him for thirty years. Mrs. Touchet is interested in literature, justice, abolitionism, class, and her cousin’s wives.

However, she is skeptical of her cousin’s talent, Mr. Charles Dickens’ character, and England’s facades, in which nothing is as it seems.

On the other hand, Andrew Bogle grew up enslaved on the Hope Plantation in Jamaica. He knows that every lump of sugar comes at a human cost, that the rich deceive the poor, and that people are more easily manipulated than they realize. When Bogle finds himself in London, a star witness in a celebrated case of imposture, he knows that his future depends on telling the right story.

The “Tichborne Trial” captivates Mrs. Touchet and all of England. The trial involves a lower-class butcher from Australia who claimed he was the rightful heir of a sizable estate and title. The question is whether Sir Roger Tichborne is genuinely who he says he is or whether he’s a fraud. In a world of hypocrisy and self-deception, deciding what’s real is complicated for Mrs. Touchet and Mr. Bogle.

The Fraud is a dazzling novel about truth and fiction, Jamaica and Britain, fraudulence and authenticity, and the mystery of “other people.” It’s based on historical events.

The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

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A Harvest of Secrets- A Novel

Read: August 2022

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A Harvest of Secrets: A Novel

by Roland Merullo

After reading Aftermirth, I wanted a book I could enjoy without raising questions I was not ready to answer. A Harvest of Secrets by Roland Merullo was set in Italy in 1943. The terror seeds planted by Hitler brought Allied forces to Italian soil. Young lovers separated by war—one near a Tuscan hill town, the other a soldier on the Sicilian front—will meet any challenge to reunite. Historical fiction is a genre I enjoy. Will this book fulfill my needs? The answer is yes.

The web of secrets that are harvested kept me on my toes. Usually, the surprises of a novel are ones that I know even before finishing the book. At least one of the secrets did surprise me.

I also found the background of the war and loyalty to Il Duce a reminder that blind loyalty to a leader can destroy a nation.

I recommend this book.

The Goodreads summary provides an overview.

Vittoria SanAntonio, the daughter of a prosperous vineyard owner, is caught in a web of family secrets. Defying her domineering father, she has fallen for humble vineyard keeper Carlo Conte. When Carlo is conscripted into Mussolini’s army, it sets a fire in Vittoria, and she joins the resistance. As the Nazi war machine encroaches, Vittoria is drawn into dangers as unknowable as those faced by the man she loves.

Badly wounded on the first day of the invasion, Carlo regains consciousness on a farm in Sicily. Nursed back to health by a kind family there, he embarks on an arduous journey north through his ravaged homeland. For Carlo and Vittoria, as wartime threats mount and their paths diverge, what lies ahead will test their courage as never before.

The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. All donations are tax-deductible.

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Aftermirth

Read: August 2022

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Aftermirth by Hillary Jordan

by Hillary Jordan

Aftermirth by Hillary Jordan is a book about grief as the two protagonists take a road trip that is a darkly funny journey of healing that takes them deep into the heart of their suffering and others, and then beyond it, to a place of peace and laughter. I had just finished reading When She Woke by Ms. Jordan and having enjoyed that book, reading a second one by the same author seemed reasonable.

When I selected this short novel to read, I questioned if it was a good choice for me.

I found it easier to read and, in some ways, helpful. It was like meeting fellow widows from my Zoom grief groups in person at Camp Widow. The ability to laugh about our loss and cry openly is essential to meeting fellow benefits.

Michael Larssen, the narrator, raised a question I have not and still do not want to consider. What if I am still alive, Jan was a great love but is not the love of my life?

“You can’t know that he was the love of your life, and do you know why? Because guess what, you aren’t dead yet. You may feel dead right now, and believe me I’ve been there, but the fact is, until you’re lying under a tombstone of your own you can’t be sure about anything. You could prick your finger on one of your roses tomorrow, and as you’re climbing the stairs to get a Band-Aid, you trip over one of the pugs and tumble to your death. Or you could meet a man in the checkout line at the grocery store–hell, you could meet a woman even and fall madly in love with her and end up with six kids and twenty grandkids. Michael looks over at Elena, then back at George. You just don’t know, George. That’s the thing. None of us does.”— Aftermirth (Kindle Single) by Hillary Jordan

Despite my anxiety about considering this disturbing question, I highly recommend Aftermirth by Hillary Jordan.

The Goodreads summary provides an overview.

I stopped being funny the day my wife was electrocuted by her underwire bra.” So begins “Aftermirth,” a dark comedy that explores the absurdity of death through the eyes of thirty-one-year-old comedian, writer, and actor Michael Larssen. What is funny to the rest of the world is devastating to Michael, who loves his wife deeply, exceptionally her bright, rippling, abandoned laughter, which captivated him from the first time he heard it. In the aftermath of her death, he loses his sense of humor and his career.

Then, after two years of mourning her, he sees an article in the paper about a factory worker named Julio Santiago who fell into a giant vat of dough and was kneaded to death. For reasons Michael doesn’t understand, he decides to go to the man’s wake. There he meets and bonds with Julio’s twenty-nine-year-old daughter Elena, a law student who is reeling from her father’s unexpected and preposterous death.

Three months later, she calls him out of the blue and suggests that the two of them drive to North Carolina to speak with another survivor like themselves Elena has found on the Internet. Their road trip is a darkly funny journey of healing that takes them deep into the heart of their grief and others and then beyond it to a place of peace and laughter.

The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. All donations are tax-deductible.

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Fair Play

Read: June 2025

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Fair Play: A Novel

by Louise Hegarty

“Fair Play” by Louise Hegarty is a captivating and playful novel that is both insightful and profoundly moving. It delves into the complexities of the human heart while challenging our perceptions of a beloved genre. Fans of Anthony Horowitz and Lucy Foley will appreciate this wonderfully original and genre-defying debut from Ireland. The book pays tribute to the brilliant detective novels of the early twentieth century but with a modern twist that will keep readers on the edge of their seats.

A group of friends, each with their quirks and secrets, gathers at an Airbnb to celebrate New Year’s Eve. It’s Benjamin’s birthday, and his sister, Abigail, is hosting a Jazz Age Murder Mystery-themed party. As the night unfolds, they enjoy champagne, devour hors d’oeuvres, and form or strain relationships. Someone kisses the wrong person, and someone else’s heart breaks. The setting, a grand mansion with its mysteries, adds an extra layer of intrigue to the story.

By morning, everyone wakes up—except for Benjamin.

As Abigail struggles to come to terms with her brother’s death, an esteemed detective arrives, determined to find Benjamin’s killer. The mansion is now filled with a butler, gardener, and housekeeper, making everyone a suspect, and nothing is quite as it seems. The detective’s arrival not only adds a layer of suspense but also brings a sense of hope as the characters cling to the possibility of justice and closure.

Will the culprit be revealed? And how can Abigail, feeling lost and alone, begin to piece her life back together in the wake of this tragedy?

Gripping yet playful, sharp yet profoundly moving, *Fair Play* explores the depths of the human heart while subverting one of our most beloved genres. It’s a twisty murder mystery that’s both classic and contemporary, along with a poignant exploration of grief and loss.

Louise Hegarty‘s work has appeared in Banshee, The Tangerine, The Stinging Fly, and The Dublin Review. It has also been featured on BBC Radio 4’s Short Works. She was the inaugural winner of the Sunday Business Post/Penguin Ireland Short Story Prize. Her short story “Getting the Electric” has been optioned by Fíbín Media. Louise resides in Cork, Ireland.

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