The Triad of Love
Estimated reading time: 13 minutes, 6 seconds
A Mitzvah Helps Me Heal!
United in Community
A week after the Big Climb and almost four years from the moment my wife passed away, I walked into the courtyard of Calvary Lutheran Church in Cranford. There, I had the incredible opportunity to help prepare 500 sustainable meals for our unhoused or at-risk neighbors—meals they can eat at any time without concern for spoilage. Additionally, we assembled 250 hygiene kits containing essential items such as toothbrushes, soap, razors, and other necessities for our unhoused neighbors and those at risk of homelessness.
You might wonder how I could participate in this on the fourth anniversary of my wife’s death. As the board chair for Bridges, I sought ways to unite our community and raise our organization’s visibility with our new member of Congress, Congresswoman LaMonica Mciver. It was heartwarming to see more than seventy people join us for this event despite the temperature soaring to at least 84 degrees. The true joy and deep sense of fulfillment came from knowing that we were making a tangible difference in the lives of those in need—a pleasure I hope you can all share!
After the event, I shared a warm lunch with my friends, Ana and Hugo. During this meal, I realized the profound significance of the day—it marked four years since my wife bravely fought her last battle with lymphoma. If she had lived, she would have been at the Mitzvah with us. Our shared vision of repairing the world amplified the meaning of our efforts, making them even more significant to me.
Three years ago, the weight of this anniversary felt almost unbearable. Today, however, I stand stronger and healthier, having found the strength to live in the present and cherish the memories of our life together. This journey of personal growth and healing—a testament to the resilience of the human spirit—serves as a beacon of hope for all of us, demonstrating that even in the face of loss, we can find strength and healing.
Each day, I feel my strength and health growing. Reflecting on Viktor Frankl‘s “Man’s Search for Meaning,” his words about meaning resonate with me,
In some ways, suffering ceases to be suffering at the moment it finds a meaning, such as the meaning of a sacrifice.
Frankl helped me to understand that love and the capacity to be loved are the most potent forces in our lives. The key to humanity’s salvation lies in love and the connections we foster through it. Deep within my mind, body, and soul, I know that love never dies; it is everlasting. The love I have given and received has shaped who I am, and I am committed to sharing that love to help heal our world, making it a better place for everyone. I hope my efforts inspire you to join us in our mission of love and healing.
After almost 48 years, I recently lost my wife, Jan Lilien. Like The Little Prince, Jan and I believed that “The most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or touched, they are felt with the heart.” This blog is a collection of my random thoughts on love, grief, life, and all things considered.
