Ada Limon

Life, Love and Grief

Estimated reading time: 0 minutes, 50 seconds

NPR’s All Things Considered did a piece on poetry and grief. After the Fire is was read, it reminded me that grief is our companion if we live and love. Is grief’s flame almost worth living for?

After the Fire by Ada Limón

You ever think you could cry so hard
that there’d be nothing left in you, like
how the wind shakes a tree in a storm
until every part of it is run through with
wind? I live in the low parts now, most
days a little hazy with fever and waiting
for the water to stop shivering out of the
body. Funny thing about grief, its hold
is so bright and determined like a flame,
like something almost worth living for.


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Lucy by the Sea: A Novel

Read: November 2022

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Lucy by the Sea: A Novel

by Elizabeth Strout

Lucy by the Sea: A Novel by Elizabeth Strout is a poignant, pitch-perfect novel about a divorced couple stuck together during lockdown–and the love, loss, despair, and hope that animate us even as the world seems to be falling apart. Having lost Jan during Covid, I was apprehensive about reading this book. However, it was not only a page-turner but also a novel that gave me a new perspective on loss which helped me manage my grief.

With her trademark spare, crystalline prose, Elizabeth Strout turns her exquisitely tuned eye to the inner workings of the human heart, following the indomitable heroine of My Name Is Lucy Barton through the early days of the pandemic.

I highlighted several passages that specifically spoke to me.

We all live with people—and places—and things—that we have given great weight to. But we are weightless, in the end.

Who knows why people are different? We are born with a certain nature, I think. And then the world takes its swings at us.

It has been said that the second year of widowhood is worse than the first—the idea being, I think, that the shock has worn off and now one has to live with the loss, and I had been finding that to be true, even before I came to Maine with William. But now there were times I felt that I was just learning of David’s death again for the first time. And I would be privately staggered by grief. And to be in this place where David had never been (!)—I was really dislocated is what I mean.

And I also understood: Grief is a private thing. God, is it a private thing.

We are all in lockdown, all the time. We just don’t know it, that’s all. But we do the best we can. Most of us are just trying to get through.

The Goodreads summary provides an overview,

As a panicked world goes into lockdown, Lucy Barton is uprooted from her life in Manhattan and bundled away to a small town in Maine by her ex-husband and on-again, off-again friend, William. For the next several months, it’s just Lucy, William, and their complex past together in a little house nestled against the moody, swirling sea.

Rich with empathy and emotion, Lucy by the Sea vividly captures the fear and struggles that come with isolation, as well as the hope, peace, and possibilities that those long, quiet days can inspire. At the heart of this story are the deep human connections that unite us even when we’re apart–the pain of a beloved daughter’s suffering, the emptiness that comes from the death of a loved one, the promise of a new friendship, and the comfort of an old, enduring love.


The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

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A Game Called Dead

Read: November 2021

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A Game Called Dead

by Michael Stephen Daigle

A Game Called Dead by Michael Stephen Daigle is the sequel to “The Swamps of Jersey,” the first Frank Nagler Mystery. Having read the fourth one – The Red Hand, I recently read the first one and thought this was an excellent time to read the second in this impressive deceptive series.

Reading the Frank Nagler Mysteries is rare when this reviewer knows the author. Mr. Daigle wrote this is the overview of A Game Called Dead.

Nagler is called to investigate the brutal attack on two women at the local college. It begins a tale of urban terror, which seems to be directed at Nagler and his associates.

The story introduces the mysterious terrorist #ARMEGEDDON, who taunted the police from cyberspace.

The story also digs deeper into Nagler’s past, especially the old Charlie Adams serial-killer case, and his relationship with Lauren Fox, who played a crucial role in exposing the political corruption in “Swamps.” She is back and steps into the front of Nagler’s life.

The story also introduced Harriet Waddley-Jones, a college dean, Nagler’s nemesis, and later ally.

Each book is a challenge to write a “better” book. In this case, I wanted tighter, faster action to develop a theme and flow to help carry the story. Sound and the description of sound are keys.

I also wanted Nagler to confront aspects of his past. Can he reconcile them, or will they always haunt him?

This reviewer’s opinion was a more substantial plot than the first book in the Frank Nagler Mysteries. Like all good mysteries, the suspense built page by page, and I figured out who the villain was late in the novel.

The one part that was difficult for me to read was the ending and the potential reigniting of the relationship with Lauren Fox. Having lost Jan, my wife, this year, I am aware of Frank Nagler’s pain in the first book about losing his wife. Ms. Fox only appeared in The Swamps of Jersey as a lost friend. I understand that some widows need to find love again to feel happy, which is not what I need or am seeking. The next book may provide some difficult moments on this topic, but I look forward to reading the next Frank Nagler Mystery.

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Organ Meats: A Nove

Read: November 2023

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Organ Meats: A Novel

by K-Ming Chang

I recently started reading ‘Organ Meats: A Novel‘ by K-Ming Chang. The story follows the journey of two best friends, Anita and Rainie, who find solace under the shade of an old sycamore tree and some stray dogs. The tree is believed to have the power to communicate with humans. As the girls explore their surroundings, they discover they are connected to a long line of dog-headed women and woman-headed dogs.

Anita convinces Rainie to become a dog like her, and they tie red string collars around their necks to symbolize their bond. However, their friendship is tested when they separate, and Anita enters a dream world. As Anita’s physical body begins to decay, Rainie takes it upon herself to rebuild her friend’s body and save her from being lost forever.

The story is filled with ghosts and vivid descriptions of the human body, portraying the beauty and horror of intimacy, all written in K-Ming Chang’s unique poetic style.


The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

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I receive a commission when you buy a book or product using a link on this page. Thank you for supporting Sharing Jan’s Love blog.



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Long Island

Read: May 2024

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Long Island – Eilis Lacey Series

by Colm Tóibín

Today, I embarked on a literary journey into the distinct world of Long Island, a novel by the acclaimed author Colm Toibin. This captivating narrative continues the life of Eilis Lacey, a beloved character from Toibin’s celebrated work Brooklyn, but two decades have passed. Eilis, now in her forties, is married to Tony Fiorello, an Italian-American plumber, and they are raising two teenagers.

The novel offers a fresh perspective on Eilis’s life, struggles, and journey of self-discovery. She lives with Tony’s large and loving extended family on a cul-de-sac in Lindenhurst, Long Island, which plays a significant role in the story. Though Eilis feels connected to her Irish roots, she has yet to return to Ireland in many years.

One fateful day, a visitor arrives unannounced at Eilis’s doorstep, bringing with him a life-altering revelation. He reveals that his wife is carrying Tony’s child and plans to leave the baby with Eilis once it’s born. This unexpected twist throws Eilis into a maelstrom of emotions and a labyrinthine decision-making process. As the emotional core of Toibin’s narrative, this journey of self-discovery and emotional upheaval is sure to hold readers spellbound.

Long Island‘ is a poignant exploration of unfulfilled desires and the enigmatic secrets that shape our lives. Eilis’s reticence speaks volumes, and Toibin masterfully gives voice to her concealed yearnings and profound connections. For instance, Eilis often finds herself lost in memories of her life in Ireland, particularly her relationship with her mother. Though unspoken, these recollections lay bare her profound yearning for her homeland and family. This evocative tale of love, longing, and the quest for self-discovery is bound to enthrall readers.

NPR’s Mary Louise Kelly speaks with author Colm Toibin about his new novel Long Island.



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We Do Not Part

Read: March 2025

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We Do Not Part: A Novel

by Han Kang

Today, I explored “We Do Not Part,” the latest novel by Han Kang, the 2024 Nobel Prize in Literature laureate. Translated by the talented e. yaewon and Paige Aniyah Morris, this book offers a remarkable journey. The New York Times has called it Kang’s most revealing work since her acclaimed novel, “The Vegetarian.” What captivates me the most is how it intricately weaves the story of two women’s friendship while shedding light on a hidden chapter of Korean history.

One winter morning, Kyungha receives an urgent message from her friend Inseon, asking her to visit a hospital in Seoul. Inseon has injured herself in an accident and begs Kyungha to return to Jeju Island, where she lives, to save her beloved pet—a white bird named Ama. A snowstorm hits the island when Kyungha arrives. At all costs, she must reach Inseon’s house, but the icy wind and blizzards slow her down as night falls. She wonders if she will arrive in time to save the animal—or even survive the terrible cold that envelops her with every step. Lost in a world of snow, she does not yet suspect the vertiginous plunge into darkness that awaits her at her friend’s house.

Blurring the boundaries between dream and reality, “We Do Not Part” powerfully illuminates a forgotten chapter of Korean history buried for decades, bringing to light the lost voices of the past to prevent them from fading into oblivion. It is both a tribute to enduring friendship and a plea for remembrance. The novel tells a story of profound love in the face of unspeakable violence and celebrates life, however fragile.


Han Kang was born in 1970 in South Korea. She is the author of The Vegetarian, which I have read, and winner of the International Booker Prize,  Human ActsThe White BookGreek Lessons, and We Do Not Part. In 2024, she received the Nobel Prize in Literature.

e. yaewon is based in Korea and translates from and into Korean, including titles by Hwang Jungeun, Deborah Levy, and Samuel Beckett.

Paige Aniyah Morris divides her time between the United States and Korea. Recent translations include works by Pak Kyongni, Ji-min Lee, and Chang Kang-myoung.



When you purchase a book through one of my links, I earn a small commission that helps support my passion for reading. This contribution allows me to buy even more books to share with you, creating an incredible cycle of discovering great reads together! Your support truly makes a difference!


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Lincoln in the Bardo: A Novel

Read: August 2024

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Lincoln in the Bardo: A Novel

by George Saunders

My journey with “Lincoln in the Bardo: A Novel” by George Saunders began with recognition as one of The New York Times’ 100 Best Books of the Century. As I turned its pages, I was immersed in its profound exploration of living and loving in the face of inevitable endings. The book, which struck a personal chord with me after a loss, is a testament to Saunders’ storytelling prowess and a must-read for those interested in Abraham Lincoln.

February 1862. The Civil War is less than one year old. The fighting has begun in earnest, and the nation has already realized it is in for a long, bloody struggle. Meanwhile, President Lincoln’s beloved eleven-year-old son, Willie, lies upstairs in the White House, gravely ill. In a matter of days, despite predictions of a recovery, Willie dies and is laid to rest in a Georgetown cemetery. “My poor boy, he was too good for this earth,” the president says at the time. “God has called him home.” Newspapers report that a grief-stricken Lincoln returns, alone, to the crypt several times to hold his boy’s body.

From a seed of historical truth, George Saunders weaves an unforgettable tale of familial love and loss that transcends its realistic, historical framework. The story takes a daring leap into a realm that is hilarious and terrifyingly supernatural. Willie Lincoln’s journey in a strange purgatory, where ghosts mingle, gripe, commiserate, quarrel, and enact bizarre acts of penance, is a testament to Saunders’ imaginative prowess. The monumental struggle over young Willie’s soul in this transitional state, known as the bardo in the Tibetan tradition, is a narrative that will leave you spellbound.

Lincoln in the Bardo is an astonishing feat of imagination and a bold step forward from one of his generation’s most important and influential writers. Formally daring, generous in spirit, and deeply concerned with matters of the heart, it is a testament to fiction’s ability to speak honestly and powerfully about the things that matter to us. Saunders has invented a thrilling new form that deploys a kaleidoscopic, theatrical panorama of voices to ask a timeless, profound question: How do we live and love when we know everything we love must end?

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