Richard W. shared a stream on July 18, 2022
Remembering Jan at Camp Widow!

Jan’s Gift That Keeps on Giving!

Estimated reading time: 0 minutes, 56 seconds

Jan in Lake EireJan’s lasting gift to me is her enduring love.

She did not want me to live alone, but I am and do not anticipate that will ever change.

Just as we planned our wedding on our own, I am planning my future with Jan in my heart.

Her love is so strong that I have chosen to share her passion for life.

By sharing her love, I can help others and, by doing this, have her love returned to me.

Viewing her gift as not for me alone has helped me manage the unbelievable burden of grief.

I share her love with daily acts of kindness and in developing The Jan Lilien Memorial Triangle Garden in Hanson Park.

Love never dies; it only grows stronger every day!

The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. All donations are tax-deductible.

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Grow Around Grief

Surviving Grief by Growing Stronger

Dr. Lois Tonkin's research emphasizes the importance of embracing grief as a part of our growth process. By incorporating Jan's love into my life, I can gradually reduce my suffering and find peace.

Richard W. Brown June 30, 2022

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Remembering Jan at Camp Widow!
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The Mango Tree: A Memoir of Fruit, Florida, and Felony

Read: April 2024

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The Mango Tree

by Annabelle Tometich

Today, I started reading Annabelle Tometich‘s The Mango Tree: A Memoir of Fruit, Florida, and Felony. The Mango Tree is not just a memoir but a profoundly emotional family saga. It takes us through the complexities of Annabelle’s life, from her childhood in a house filled with balikbayan boxes, vegetation, and luscious mangoes to her journey from aspiring medical student to restaurant critic.

It is a tribute to her fellow Filipino Americans, her younger self, and the mango tree symbolizing her family. Above all, it is a heartfelt homage to Annabelle’s mother, Josefina, who carved out a life and a home without whom Annabelle would not be who she is.

When journalist Annabelle Tometich picked up the phone one June morning, she wasn’t expecting a collect call from an inmate at the Lee County Jail. And when she accepts, she certainly isn’t prepared to hear her mother’s voice on the other end of the line. However, explaining the situation to her younger siblings afterward was easy; all she had to say was, “Mom shot at some guy. He was messing with her mangoes.” They immediately understood. Answering the questions of the breaking news reporter—at the same newspaper where Annabelle worked as a restaurant critic––proved more difficult. Annabelle decided to go with a variation of the truth: it was complicated.

Thus commences The Mango Tree, a memoir that deftly weaves a tapestry of a mixed-race Filipina’s life in suburban Florida. Annabelle’s journey is not linear but a series of interconnected stories that delve into her upbringing, her father’s tragic demise, her mother’s longing for her homeland, and her quest for identity.

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The Secret Hours

Read: January 2024

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The Secret Hours

by Mick Herron

Today, I started reading “The Secret Hours” by Mick Herron, a gripping spy thriller about a disastrous MI5 mission in Cold War Berlin. This book is a must-read for fans of “Slow Horses.” “The Secret Hours” is a standalone spy thriller that is both unnerving and poignant yet also has laugh-out-loud moments. It is the breathtaking secret history that Slough House fans have been waiting for.

Two years ago, a hostile prime minister launched the Monochrome inquiry, which aimed to investigate “historical over-reaching” by the British Secret Service. Griselda Fleet and Malcolm Kyle, two civil servants seconded to the project, were given unfettered access to all confidential information in the Service archives to ferret any hint of misconduct by any MI5 officer.

However, MI5’s formidable First Desk did not become Britain’s top spy by accident, and she has successfully thwarted the inquiry at every turn. The administration that created Monochrome has been ousted, and the investigation is a total bust. Griselda and Malcolm are stuck watching as the pounding London rain washes away their career prospects.

On the eve of Monochrome’s shuttering, an MI5 case file appears without explanation. It is the buried history of a classified operation in 1994 Berlin, which ended in tragedy and scandal, whose cover-up has rewritten thirty years of Service history.

The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Regarding gifts made this month, I will match dollar for dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

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Lila: A Novel

Read: April 2022

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Lila: A Novel

by Marilynne Robinson

Lila: A Novel by Marilynne Robinson is an unusual but believable love story. Although different than how I met Jan, this novel is about love and romance that, on the surface, should never have happened. Lila, homeless and alone after years of roaming the countryside, steps inside a small-town Iowa church – the only available shelter from the rain- ignites a romance and a debate that will reshape her life. She becomes the wife of a minister, John Ames, and begins a new existence while trying to make sense of the life that preceded her newfound security.

Lila is the third novel in the Gilead series. Previously I read Home, the second in the series, and Jack, the fourth. I highly recommend all three books.

Hopefully, one day I will read the Gilead and complete the series.

The Goodreads summary of the book provides an excellent overview.

Neglected as a toddler, Lila was rescued by Doll, a canny young drifter, and brought up by her in a hardscrabble childhood. Together they crafted a life on the run, living hand to mouth with nothing but their sisterly bond and a ragged blade to protect them. Despite bouts of petty violence and moments of desperation, their shared life was laced with moments of joy and love. When Lila arrives in Gilead, she struggles to reconcile the life of her makeshift family and their days of hardship with the gentle Christian worldview of her husband which paradoxically judges those she loves.

Revisiting the beloved characters and setting of Robinson’s Pulitzer Prize-winning Gilead and Home, a National Book Award finalist, Lila is a moving expression of the mysteries of existence that is destined to become an American classic.

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We the Animals

Read: July 2024

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We the Animals

by Justin Torres

Today, I embarked on the literary journey of We the Animals by Justin Torres. This novel, listed among the New York Times’ 100 Best Books of the Century, is a groundbreaking work of art. The author of Blackouts immerses us in the tumultuous heart of a family, the intense bonds of three brothers, and the mythic impact of this fierce love on the individuals we are destined to become.

The narrative unfolds as three brothers navigate their way through childhood, a journey filled with emotional highs and lows, from playful acts like smashing tomatoes on each other to finding solace in each other’s company during their parents’ conflicts and even tiptoeing around the house as their mother rests after her graveyard shift. Paps and Ma, hailing from Brooklyn—he’s Puerto Rican, she’s white—share a profound and challenging love, shaping and reshaping the family numerous times. Life in this family is intense and all-consuming, filled with disorder, heartache, and the ecstasy of belonging to each other.

From the intense familial unity, a child feels to the profound alienation he endures as he begins to see the world, this beautiful novel doesn’t just tell a coming-of-age story; it reinvents it in a sly and punch-in-the-stomach powerful way. It delves into themes such as love, the meaning of family, and heartache, adding another layer of depth and complexity to the story.

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Jaded: A Novel

Read: April 2024

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Jaded: A Novel

by Ela Lee

Today, I started reading “Jaded: A Novel” by Ela Lee. The main character’s name is Jade, which isn’t even her real name. Jade began using it as her Starbucks name because all children of immigrants have a Starbucks name. “Jaded” is a must-read book for fans of “Queenie” and “I May Destroy You.” It offers a blistering—and sometimes darkly funny—account of consent, power, race, sexism, and identity in a broken society.

Jade has accomplished everything she ever wanted.

She’s a successful lawyer, a dutiful daughter, a beloved girlfriend, and a loyal friend. However, everything starts to crumble when she wakes up the morning after a work event, naked and alone, with no idea how she got home. Jade is caught between her parents, who can’t understand, her boyfriend, who feels betrayed, and her job, which expects silence.

Jade thought she was everything she ever wanted to be. But now she feels like nothing at all.

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Discontent

Read: October 2025

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Discontent: A Novel

by Beatriz Serrano

“Discontent” by Beatriz Serrano is a bold and darkly humorous novel that follows a young woman whose carefully constructed office persona starts to unravel when she is compelled to attend her company’s annual retreat. On the surface, Marisa’s life appears enviable. She lives in a beautiful apartment in the heart of Madrid, has a charming neighbor who often spends time with her, and has quickly ascended the ranks at a successful advertising agency.

And yet she’s drowning in a dark hole of existential dread induced by the banality of corporate life. Marisa hates her job and everyone at it. She spends her working hours locked in her office, hiding from her coworkers, bingeing on YouTube videos, and getting high on tranquilizers. When she has the time, she escapes to her favorite museum where she contemplates the meaning of life while staring at Hieronymus Bosch paintings, or tries to get hit by a car so she can go on disability.

However, Marisa’s dubious success, which is primarily built on lies and work she has stolen from others, is in danger of being exposed when she’s forced to attend her company’s team-building retreat. Isolated in the Segovia forests, haunted by the deeply buried memory of a former coworker, and surrounded by psychopathic bosses, overzealous coworkers, flirty retreat staff, and an excess of drugs, Marisa finds herself acting on her wildest impulses. She is pushed to the brink of a complete spiral.

Beatriz Serrano is a striking new voice in international literature. A writer and journalist who has written for publications such as BuzzFeed, Vanity Fair, GQ, Harper’s Bazaar, El País, SModa, and Vogue. Along with writer Guillermo Alonso, she currently co-directs the podcast “Arsenic Caviar“, which won the Ondas Prize for best conversational podcast. Discontent is her first novel. She lives in Madrid.

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