When Richard Met Jan!

Estimated reading time: 9 minutes, 0 seconds

Cleaning Up

Once Mark exited, everyone else began to leave. Soon, only four of us were in the apartment, and the only two people were her roommate and another guy. They quickly walked down the hallway together to what I presumed was one of the bedrooms.

“I can help you clean up,” I said. I did not want to leave Jan.

Thanks, it is nice of you to offer,” she said.

We gathered the glasses, plates, cans, bottles, and ashtrays and started bagging garbage and washing the glasses, dishes, and ashtrays. Each time we finished a task, we would hug and kiss. With each kiss, I knew there was no way I was ever leaving her. Not just this moment but forever.

Around 4:30, we took a break and sat together on the couch. Jan took a seat first, and I sat close but tight. She closed the distance and placed her head on my shoulder, and I lifted my left arm and put it over her shoulder.

We continued to talk, but when she did not respond to my comment, I realized she had fallen asleep, and I may have nodded. All I know for sure is that I was thrilled at that moment, sitting next to the woman I loved and knew I would marry one day.

It was so amazing; I kept pinching myself with my right hand to ensure this was not a dream that would end up in the dusty recesses of my mind.

If I did sleep, it was for a limited period. In my mind, I kept thinking of the lyrics from Old Friends by Simon and Garfunkel, and I modified them in my mind. Of course, I lost the rhyming, but the dream of our future together was genuine!

Old friends, old friends,
Sat on their couch like lovers,
Can you imagine us years from today,
Sharing a couch quietly
How terribly strange to be seventy

Sunrise Bagel Run

I could see the light filling the courtyard even with the blinds closed. Jan was still sleeping next to me and looked so relaxed and happy. I pinched myself one more time to make sure I was not dreaming.

Eventually, she yawned, turned her head slightly, and looked at me.

“Good morning,” I said.

Her smile radiated love and joy as she pulled herself to a sitting position. I leaned in and kissed her lightly on the lips.

it’s so lovely waking up next to you,” I said.

Jan laughed and smiled at me.

She asked if I was hungry. I said a little. The food would be excellent, but I wanted to spend the day kissing her.

When we got to the kitchen, she opened the refrigerator and turned around with a frown. “There is no milk for my coffee!”

Immediately I told her I could go and get milk for her. She thanked me and tsked if I could get bagels and cream cheese.

As I walked on Broadway, my thoughts focused on a story Pastor John shared with me. The fresh, cool air was refreshing as I walked down the stairs. I was fully awake and was so very much in love.

It was something about people being born with a portion of another person’s soul. He said that very few people are lucky enough to find the person with the other half of their soul. Did Jan feel the same way? I was confident that I had met her.

“Next,” said the person behind the counter.

Startled, I purchased the bagels, cream cheese, and milk.

As I left the store, I looked to the left, and there was a bodega. I saw a basket with roses in the window, and I walked over and picked one out. Inside I noticed they also had greeting cards.

I looked at the first one with Snoopy typing in scrambled letters on top of his house. Inside, it said, “I know I like you!”

I then went to the Lotto shelf. I purchased the rose and the card. Opening the card, I signed my name. I kept looking at the message, which was not what I wanted to say.

In my mind were two competing voices. Don’t scare Jan or follow your heart.

I listened to both for a minute, then drew a line through like and wrote in love.

Either she feels the same, or she does not. But I need to be honest with her. As I entered the courtyard, I remembered the adage that honesty is always the best policy.

I knocked on the door, and the most beautiful woman in the universe answered.

I wasn’t sure if you would come back,” Jan exclaimed. Then she said, “No one has ever given me a rose. Thank you!”

The words I thought of to respond to her were that she might have a problem getting me to leave but would never have a problem with me returning to her.

She got a glass as she did not have a vase for the rose. We placed it on the kitchen table. She turned to get her coffee, and I took the card from my jacket and put it on the table by her chair.

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42 comments add your comment

    • Thanks, Steve. I appreciate your friendship and your opinion. The words flow like an incoming tide at the beach. The memories of falling in love with Jan remind me how fortunate I was to be loved by her.

      Other memories are bubbling inside of me, waiting for the words to fill the page. Writing about Jan, love, life, and grief helps me during this difficult time. Love never dies. I find this quote by Helen Keller one that helps me manage my grief.

      “What we have once enjoyed we can never lose. All that we love deeply becomes a part of us.”

      Thanks so very much for reading this post.

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The Jan Lilien Education Fund!

Ahab's Wife: Or, The Star-gazer: A Novel

Read: August 2021

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Ahab’s Wife: Or, The Star-gazer

by Sena Jeter Naslund

Ahab’s Wife: Or, The Star-gazer by Sena Jeter Naslund is a book I could not put down once I finished the first chapter. “Captain Ahab was neither my first husband nor my last.” is one of the most-recognized first sentences in literature–along with “Call me Ishmael.”

Sena Jeter Naslund has created a transcendent heroine – Una Spenser – who is as memorable as Ahab. Una’s universe spans a time that begins to redefine both women and men.

After a spellbinding opening scene, the tale flashes back to Una’s childhood in Kentucky; her idyllic adolescence with her aunt and uncle’s family at a lighthouse near New Bedford; her adventures disguised as a cabin boy on a whaling ship; her first marriage to a fellow survivor who descends into violent madness; courtship and marriage to Ahab; life as mother and a rich captain’s wife in Nantucket; involvement with Frederick Douglass; and a man who is in Nantucket researching his novel about his adventures on her ex-husband’s ship.

Ahab’s Wife is a breathtaking, magnificent, and uplifting story of one woman’s spiritual journey, informed by the spirit of the greatest American novel, but taking it beyond tragedy to redemptive triumph.

Having read this book, I can easily understand why my wife loved the book and encouraged me to read it. Her life story was much like Una’s, an uplifting story of her spiritual journey and her quest to repair the world.

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The School for Good Mothers

Read: February 2023

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The School for Good Mothers

by Jessamine Chan

The School for Good Mothers by Jessamine Chan is a searing page-turner that is also a transgressive novel of ideas about the perils of “perfect” upper-middle-class parenting; the violence enacted upon women by both the state and, at times, one another; the systems that separate families; and the boundlessness of love, The School for Good Mothers introduces, in Frida, an everywoman for the ages.

Although it has been forty-two years since I became a parent, I still remember the anxiety of being a father. What if I could not be a good dad? Fortunately, I never had a bad like Frida. or lived in an age where parents would be sent to “a Big Brother-like institution that measures the success or failure of a mother’s devotion.”

Reading The School for Good Mothers was a reminder that solutions like this are possible unless we are willing to invest in families so that the skills and support are there to resolve any issues in the home. As a widow, I found Frida’s inner dialogue comparable to the early stages of my grief journey—the total isolation and fear of failing dominated my first months of mourning.

The School for Good Mothers had been on my book list since the middle of last year. I recommend it without reservations! Jan would have already read it, and we would be debating its fine points.

The Goodreads summary provides an overview,

In this taut and explosive debut novel, one lapse in judgement lands a young mother in a government reform program where custody of her child hangs in the balance.

Frida Liu is struggling. She doesn’t have a career worthy of her Chinese immigrant parents’ sacrifices. She can’t persuade her husband, Gust, to give up his wellness-obsessed younger mistress. Only with Harriet, their cherubic daughter, does Frida finally attain the perfection expected of her. Harriet may be all she has, but she is just enough.

Until Frida has a very bad day.

The state has its eyes on mothers like Frida. The ones who check their phones, letting their children get injured on the playground; who let their children walk home alone. Because of one moment of poor judgment, a host of government officials will now determine if Frida is a candidate for a Big Brother-like institution that measures the success or failure of a mother’s devotion.

Faced with the possibility of losing Harriet, Frida must prove that a bad mother can be redeemed. That she can learn to be good.

Using dark wit to explore the pains and joys of the deepest ties that bind us, Chan has written a modern literary classic.


The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

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Booth

Read: January 2023

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Booth: A Novel

by Karen Joy Fowler

Booth by Karen Joy Fowler was on my to-read list for several months. Booth is an epic and intimate novel about the family behind one of the most infamous figures in American history: John Wilkes Booth. I have always been fascinated by history, especially the Civil War. Booth is a startling portrait of a country in the throes of change and a vivid exploration of the ties that make and break a family. It is the second book I have read this year.

Ms. Fowler struggled with how to write this novel without focusing on the cruelest member of the Booth family. She succeeded, but I sometimes felt confused about the type of book I was reading. Was it historical fiction or a textbook?

In the afterword, she admits that there is more of the story in the children of the siblings of John Wilkes Booth. I wish I knew more about that generation and how they responded to the notoriety. A family tree would have helped as there are many family members.

I recommend Booth as history is a dynamic lesson we must keep studying.

The Goodreads summary provides an overview,

In 1822, a secret family moved into a secret cabin some thirty miles northeast of Baltimore to farm, hide, and bear ten children over the next sixteen years. Junius Booth–breadwinner, celebrated Shakespearean actor, and master of the house in more ways than one–is at once a mesmerizing talent and a man of terrifying instability. One by one, the children arrive, as year by year, the country draws frighteningly closer to the boiling point of secession and civil war.

As the tenor of the world shifts, the Booths emerge from their hidden lives to cement their place as one of the country’s leading theatrical families. But behind the curtains of the many stages they have graced, multiple scandals, family triumphs, and criminal disasters begin to take their toll, and the solemn siblings of John Wilkes Booth are left to reckon with the truth behind the destructively specious promise of an early prophecy.


The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

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I receive a commission when you buy a book or product using a link on this page. Thank you for supporting Sharing Jan’s Love blog.



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One of Us

Read: March 2026

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One of Us: A Novel

by Elizabeth Day

One of Us,” written by Elizabeth Day, delivers sharp commentary on the hypocrisies of the elite. This engaging ensemble drama explores the dynamics among old friends entangled in dazzling wealth, highlighting the delicate balance between personal ambition and collective responsibility. With its gripping narrative and insightful themes, “One of Us” is a page-turner that combines elements of “The Wedding People” and “Succession.” It’s darkly comic and incisive, yet it also carries an unexpected sense of hope.

When Fliss, the eccentric adult daughter of the powerful Fitzmaurice clan, is found dead on a beach in Bali, what appears to be a tragic accident raises more suspicions than it resolves for those who have long engaged in a web of favors within her family.

Ben, Fliss’s brother, is eager to downplay his sister’s death, as it becomes evident he is the next in line to become Prime Minister. Meanwhile, Martin—Ben’s former best friend—sees Fliss’s memorial as an opportunity to reinsert himself into the Fitzmaurice circle, motivated by a desire for both revenge and acceptance. He also observes that Ben’s wife, Serena, has come to realize in middle age that her privileged life resembles more of a gilded cage. Additionally, Ben and Serena’s daughter, Cosima, has become an environmental activist, opposing everything her parents represent—a change her late aunt would have wholeheartedly supported.

Richard Take, Ben’s disgraced colleague who is determined to make a comeback, adds another layer of complexity to the situation. Lastly, Andrew Jarvis, a figure entwined with the family, raises questions about his role: has he been their loyal supporter, or has he manipulated his influence to keep them all in line?


Elizabeth Day is the author of “The Party” “The Vaster Wilds“, and several other books, and one of the most influential podcasters today. Her show, “How to Fail“, has become a major success, helping authors like Meg Mason and Glennon Doyle reach the UK bestseller list. She splits her time between London and Los Angeles.



Discover your next favorite book and dive into a world of curated, exciting reads by purchasing through my links. You’ll have access to a diverse selection of books that I’ve personally vetted to ensure quality and enjoyment. Supporting these selections not only helps me continue providing you with personalized recommendations but also ensures you get access to meaningful stories that enrich your life. Your support truly makes a difference in helping me share more books and insights with you!


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The South

Read: August 2025

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The South: A Novel

by Tash Aw

Tash Aw‘s novel, The South, longlisted for the 2025 Booker Prize, is both expansive and concise, capturing the dynamics of a family navigating change and desire. It explores the intersection of public and private lives with remarkable grace and beauty. This intimate and radiant story follows the deepening relationship between two boys throughout a summer, delving into themes of family, desire, and the legacies we inherit.

When his grandfather passes away, Jay travels south with his family to the property they have inherited—a once-thriving farm that has now fallen into disrepair. The trees are diseased, and the fields have been dry due to months of drought.

Jay’s father, Jack, sends him out to work the land, or what remains of it. During these hot, oppressive days, Jay finds himself increasingly drawn to Chuan, the son of the farm’s manager. The boys are different in almost every way, except for one crucial connection.

As they work in the fields and venture into town, the tension between the boys intensifies. Meanwhile, within the house, the other family members begin to confront their secrets and regrets. Jack, a professor at a struggling local college, reflects on his failures, many of which may have started when he married his student, Sui Ching. Sui Ching strives to keep the family together, though she, too, contemplates what her life could have been. Fong, the farm manager, chooses to ignore the reality of the situation—about Chuan, the deteriorating land, and the global forces that threaten to render their entire way of life obsolete.


Tash Aw is the author of four novels, including We, the Survivors, as well as a memoir about a Chinese-Malaysian family titled Strangers on a Pier. These remarkable works earned their place as finalists for the Los Angeles Times Book Prize, showcasing the incredible talent behind them!

The author has also been honored with several esteemed awards, including the Whitbread, Commonwealth, and O. Henry Awards. Plus, being longlisted for the MAN Booker Prize twice speaks volumes about his skill. It’s exciting to see his fiction translated into 23 languages, sharing his stories with the world!



When you purchase a book through one of my links, I earn a small commission that helps support my passion for reading. This contribution allows me to buy even more books to share with you, creating an incredible cycle of discovering great reads together! Your support truly makes a difference!

Enjoy a limited-time offer of 20% off your next book purchase at Bookshop.org!


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Flashlight

Read: August 2025

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Flashlight: A Novel

by Susan Choi

A monumental new novel by National Book Award winner Susan Choi, Flashlight spans decades and continents in a captivating and emotional exploration of family, loss, memory, and the ways we are influenced by what remains hidden. Longlisted for the 2025 Booker Prize, the novel follows the journey of a father’s disappearance over time, across nations, and within the realm of memory. This work comes from the author of Trust Exercise.

On a summer night, Louisa and her father take a walk along the breakwater. Her father is carrying a flashlight, but he cannot swim. Later, Louisa is found on the beach, soaked to the skin and barely alive. Her father is missing. She is only ten years old.

Louisa is the only child of parents who have distanced themselves from their pasts. Her father, Serk, is Korean but was born and raised in Japan. He lost touch with his family after they embraced the promises of postwar Pyongyang and relocated to North Korea. Her American mother, Anne, is estranged from her Midwestern family due to a reckless adventure in her youth. Then there’s Tobias, Anne’s illegitimate son, whose unexpected return will have profound consequences.

For now, it is just Anne and Louisa—Louisa and Anne—adrift and facing the challenges of everyday life in the aftermath of their immense loss. Bound together yet estranged, they struggle to cope with their shared grief and attempt to move forward. However, they cannot escape the haunting memories of that fateful night. What happened to Louisa’s father?

With shifting perspectives across time and character, and repeatedly revisiting that night by the sea, Flashlight explores the shockwaves of one family’s tragedy while also engaging with the invisible currents of history.


Susan Choi is the author of Trust Exercise, which won the National Book Award for fiction. She has also written the novels The Foreign Student, American Woman, A Person of Interest, and My Education.

Choi has received several prestigious awards, including the Asian American Literary Award for fiction, the PEN/W. G. Sebald Award, a Lambda Literary Award, and the Sunday Times Audible Short Story Award. Additionally, she has been awarded fellowships from the National Endowment for the Arts and the Guggenheim Foundation.

Currently, she teaches in the Writing Seminars at Johns Hopkins University and resides in Brooklyn, New York.



When you purchase a book through one of my links, I earn a small commission that helps support my passion for reading. This contribution allows me to buy even more books to share with you, creating an incredible cycle of discovering great reads together! Your support truly makes a difference!

Enjoy a limited-time offer of 20% off your next book purchase at Bookshop.org!


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