Writing a New Chapter of My Life

Writing a New Chapter of My Life

Estimated reading time: 1 minute, 4 seconds

Jan and Richard at YWCA GalaFrom the day I met Jan, I was sure that the story of my remaining years would be the one she and I wrote together.

On the rare occasions when I contemplated how our communal life would end, I presumed that Jan would survive me.

Now that I am the one who is still alive, I have to write the final chapter of my life on my own.

The anonymous quote makes it all seem so easy.

Don’t be afraid to start over; you might like your new story.

I know the new story may be one I like. When I met Jan, I was sure that finding someone to love and be loved by was impossible for me.

The final chapter of my life I am writing is one in which Jan is still with me and always will be.

Our love will never die.


The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

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Jan Will Always Be the Love of My Life!

Jan's Wedding DressIn the days since I finished reading Aftermirth by Hillary Jordan, I have been thinking about the question posed by the narrator, can we ever know if the love we lost was the love of our life?

The answer for me was easy. Jan was and always will be the love of my life!

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Writing a New Chapter of My Life
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You Dreamed of Empires: A Novel

Read: December 2024

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You Dreamed of Empires: A Novel

by Álvaro Enrigue

Today, I began reading “You Dreamed of Empires: A Novel” by Álvaro Enrigue, translated by Natasha Wimmer. This book is from the visionary author of “Sudden Death,” a hallucinatory and revelatory tale of colonial revenge. It has been recognized as one of The New York Times’ 100 Notable Books of 2024 and included in the list of 10 Best Books of 2024. So far, I have read four of the top five fiction books of 2024: “All Fours,” “James,” “Martyr!,” and “Good Material.”

One morning in 1519, conquistador Hernán Cortés entered the city of Tenochtitlan, today’s Mexico City. Later that day, he will meet the emperor Moctezuma in a collision of two worlds, two empires, two languages, and two possible futures.

Cortés is accompanied by his captains, troops, prized horses, and two translators: Friar Aguilar, a taciturn friar, and Malinalli, an enslaved, strategic Nahua princess. After nearly bungling their entrance to the city, the Spaniards are greeted at a ceremonial welcome meal by the steely Aztec princess Atotoxtli, sister and wife of Moctezuma. As they await their meeting with the emperor – who is at a political and spiritual crossroads and relies on hallucinogens to get by – Cortés and his entourage are ensconced in the labyrinthine palace. Soon, one of Cortés’s captains, Jazmín Caldera, overwhelmed by the place’s grandeur, began questioning the ease with which they were welcomed into the city and wondered at the chances of getting out alive, much less conquering the empire. And what if… they don’t?

You Dreamed of Empires brings Tenochtitlan to life at its height and reimagines its destiny. The incomparably original Álvaro Enrigue sets afire the moment of conquest and turns it into a revolution, a restitutive, fantastical counterattack, in a novel so electric and unique that it feels like a dream.



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The Loneliness of Sonia and Sunny

Read: October 2025

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The Loneliness of Sonia and Sunny

by Kiran Desai

The Loneliness of Sonia and Sunny” by Kiran Desai is a remarkable and accomplished novel that showcases the talent of one of our greatest contemporary writers. It was shortlisted for the Booker Prize and is a finalist for the Kirkus Prize. The story follows two young individuals as they navigate the various influences that shape their lives, including their country, class, race, history, and the complex relationships that connect different generations.

This novel combines a love story, a family saga, and an exploration of profound themes. When Sonia and Sunny first catch sight of each other on an overnight train, they find themselves captivated yet embarrassed; their grandparents once tried to matchmake them, a well-meaning effort that only drove them apart.

Sonia is an aspiring novelist who has recently completed her studies in the snowy mountains of Vermont and has returned to her family in India. Sonia fears she is cursed by a dark spell cast by an artist who sought intimacy and inspiration from her. Meanwhile, Sunny, a struggling journalist who has relocated to New York City, is trying to escape his domineering mother and the violence of his feuding family.

Uncertain about their futures, Sonia and Sunny embark on a journey to find happiness together as they confront the various forms of alienation present in our modern world.


Kiran Desai is renowned for her novels, “Hullabaloo in the Guava Orchard” and “The Inheritance of Loss,” the latter of which won both the Booker Prize and the National Book Critics Circle Award. Born in India, she moved to the United States at the age of sixteen and currently resides in New York City.



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Fire Exit: A Novel

Read: June 2024

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Fire Exit: A Novel

by Morgan Talty

Today, I started reading the novel “Fire Exit” by Morgan Talty. The book is the debut novel of the award-winning author of “Night of the Living Rez,” Morgan Talty. “Fire Exit” is a compelling story that explores the themes of family, legacy, culture, and our complex obligations toward one another. These are themes that I have focused on after losing my wife.

The protagonist, Charles Lamosway, lives by a river near Maine’s Penobscot Reservation. He watches his neighbor Elizabeth grow up, from her early days to her twenties, but he holds a secret: Elizabeth is his daughter, a truth he can no longer conceal.

Charles becomes anxious when he hasn’t seen Elizabeth for weeks. As he tries to hold on to his home, look after his friend Bobby and his mother Louise, and grapple with his past, Charles is forced to confront painful memories and ask himself difficult questions. Is it his place to share the secret about Elizabeth, and would she want to know the truth even if it means losing everything she has ever known?

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Wintering: The Power of Rest and Retreat in Difficult Times

Read: October 2021

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Wintering: The Power of Rest and Retreat in Difficult Times

by Katherine May

Wintering: The Power of Rest and Retreat in Difficult Times by Katherine May is “an intimate, revelatory book exploring the ways we can care for and repair ourselves when life knocks us down.”

Two quotes that resonated with me were:

That’s what grief is – a yearning for that one last moment of contact that would settle everything.

We are in the habit of imagining our lives to be linear, a long march from birth to death in which we mass our powers, only to surrender them again, all the while slowly losing our youthful beauty. This is a brutal untruth. Life meanders through the woods. We have seasons when we flourish and seasons when the leaves fall upon us, revealing our bare bones. Given time they grow again.

May writes in a clear voice that conveys the importance of accepting the cycles of life instead of fighting them.

Sometimes you slip through the cracks: unforeseen circumstances like an abrupt illness, the death of a loved one, a breakup, or a job loss can derail a life. These periods of dislocation can be lonely and unexpected. For May, her husband fell ill, her son stopped attending school, and her own medical issues led her to leave a demanding job. Wintering explores how she not only endured this painful time but embraced the singular opportunities it offered.

A moving personal narrative shot through with lessons from literature, mythology, and the natural world, May’s story offers instruction on the transformative power of rest and retreat. Illumination emerges from many sources: solstice celebrations and dormice hibernation, C.S. Lewis and Sylvia Plath swimming in icy waters, and sailing arctic seas.

Ultimately Wintering invites us to change how we relate to our own fallow times. May models an active acceptance of sadness and finds nourishment in deep retreat, joy in the serene beauty of winter, and encouragement in understanding life as cyclical, not linear. A secular mystic, May forms a guiding philosophy for transforming the hardships that arise before the ushering in of a new season.

I recommend this book without reservation.


The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

Subscribe

Contact Us

I receive a commission when you buy a book or product using a link on this page. Thank you for supporting Sharing Jan’s Love blog.



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Flesh

Read: May 2025

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Flesh: A Novel

by David Szalay

David Szalay, a finalist for the Booker Prize, has written a gripping and mesmerizing novel, Flesh, which follows a man whose life is turned upside down by events beyond his control. Concise and thought-provoking, Flesh delves into the subtle yet lasting effects of unresolved trauma amid the instability and violence of an increasingly globalized Europe. The novel offers sharp insights, unwavering emotional depth, and a remarkable portrayal of humanity.

Teenaged István lives with his mother in a quiet apartment complex in Hungary. Shy and new to the area, he struggles to engage with the social rituals of his classmates and soon becomes isolated. His only companion is his neighbor, a married woman of a similar age to his mother, whom he begrudgingly assists with errands. As their periodic encounters evolve into a clandestine relationship that István can barely comprehend, his life spirals out of control, culminating in a violent accident that results in a man’s death.

A tumultuous journey unfolds as István emigrates from Hungary to London, navigating a series of jobs before securing steady employment as a driver for London’s affluent elite. At each stage, his life is influenced by the goodwill or self-interest of strangers. Throughout it all, István remains a calm, detached observer of his existence. Through his perspective, we experience a tragic twist on the immigrant “success story,” lit by moments of sensitivity, softness, and Szalay’s keen observations.

Fast-paced and immersive, Flesh reveals István’s life through intimate moments with lovers, employers, and family members, charting his experiences over several decades. As the story unfolds, the tension between what is seen and unseen, and what can and cannot be expressed, intensifies until, ultimately, a sudden tragedy jeopardizes István’s life yet again.


David Szalay is the author of Turbulence, London and the South-East, and All That Man Is. He has been awarded the Gordon Burn Prize and the Paris Review Plimpton Prize for Fiction, and has been shortlisted for the Man Booker Prize. Born in Canada, he grew up in London and now lives in Vienna. His most recent novel is Flesh.



When you purchase a book through one of my links, I earn a small commission that helps support my passion for reading. This contribution allows me to buy even more books to share with you, creating an incredible cycle of discovering great reads together! Your support truly makes a difference!

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Misinterpretation

Read: August 2025

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Misinterpretation: A Novel

by Ledia Xhoga

Ledia Xhoga‘s debut novel, Misinterpretation, is a reflective and engaging work longlisted for the 2025 Booker Prize. The novel delves into the darker legacies of family and country, exploring the tension between compassion and self-preservation. Additionally, it won the 2024 New York City Book Award for a first book, a prestigious recognition in the literary world. It was a finalist for the 2024 Center for Fiction First Novel Prize.

Set in present-day New York City, the story follows an Albanian interpreter who reluctantly agrees to work with Alfred, a Kosovar torture survivor, during his therapy sessions. Despite her husband’s warnings, she becomes increasingly entangled in her clients’ struggles. Alfred’s nightmares unearth her own buried memories, and an impulsive attempt to help a Kurdish poet leads to a risky encounter and a reckless plan. The emotional journey of the protagonist will surely resonate with you.

As a series of ill-fated decisions jeopardize the narrator’s marriage and mental health, she takes a spontaneous trip to reunite with her mother in Albania. This trip is a fascinating exploration of the contrast between her life in the United States and her roots back home. Upon returning, she must confront the consequences of her actions and question what is real and what is not.


Ledia Xhoga, the author of Misinterpretation, is an Albanian-American fiction writer and playwright. Her personal experiences and cultural background have deeply influenced her writing. Before earning an MFA in fiction from Texas State University, she worked in publishing in New York City. Her writing, which often explores themes of identity and belonging, has been featured in various journals, including Intrepid Times, Hobart, and KGB Magazine. Originally from Tirana, Albania, she now lives with her family in Brooklyn and the Catskills.



When you purchase a book through one of my links, I earn a small commission that helps support my passion for reading. This contribution allows me to buy even more books to share with you, creating an incredible cycle of discovering great reads together! Your support truly makes a difference!

Enjoy a limited-time offer of 20% off your next book purchase at Bookshop.org!


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